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Inferior
Oct 19, 2012



In the beginning, the Maker created the world. All the various species lived together with difficulty in harmony, and everyone was happy.

It didn't last. On the continent of Thedas, a cabal of powerful mages united to storm the Golden City of the Maker that shone within the spirit realm. They failed and were cursed for their hubris, becoming the first of the darkspawn; twisted monsters banished deep underground. The Maker then washed his hands of reality and disappeared.

Since then, the darkspawn have periodically launched apocalyptic invasions of the surface world, the Blights. Leading the fight against them are the Grey Wardens; an ancient order of mysterious badasses founded to Do What Needs To Be Done. There have been four Blights to date and on all four occasions the Grey Wardens saved the world. Eventually.

It is the 30th year of the Age of the Dragon, and a new Blight has begun. Staring down the darkspawn this time is the Kingdom of Ferelden, a damp country that likes dogs and cheeses and hates elves and foreigners. Given the scale of the threat, it should be a simple matter to bring the kingdom's forces to bear against the horde. Right?




Dragon Age! The game created when Bioware got nostalgic for the good old days of Baldur's Gate, but didn't want to pay for the D&D license again. Swords and sorcery, dwarves and elves, dragons and dungeons; they're all here waiting to be killed, explored and/or seduced.

But this ain't your daddy's fantasy role playing adventure. This is the new poo poo.

So here's a screenshot LP, with writing and pictures and no more than three jokes. Game text is plain, sound effects are bold, comedy additions are in italics, [and square brackets mean LPer comments and mechanics explanations].




Prologue
Part 01: A Long, Long Time Ago, In A Galaxy Far Far Away...
Part 02: Paragons And Renegades
Part 03: Biancamania's Running Wild
Part 04: Mo' Money, Mo' Problems
Part 05: The Metaphorical Shield
Part 06: Everyone Hates You Now
Part 07: This Update Is Brought To You By PC Gamer
Part 08: Moving On Up

Ostagar
Part 09: The Dogs Of War
Part 10: The Grumpy One
Part 11: Hello Boys
Part 12: Join The Grey Wardens, They Said
Part 13: Unlucky For Some
Part 14: Charge Of The Light Brigade
Part 15: The Adventure... Begins!

Lothering
Part 16: Getting On With It
Part 17: Fear And Lothering
Part 18: Arts And Crafts
Part 19: Occupy Lothering
Part 20: Leaving Las Lothering
Part 21: Alistair Has A Conversation With A Dog

Camp
Part 22: Tomb Raider
Part 23: Rose Bushes And Human Flesh

The Circle Tower
Part 24: The Dark Tower
Part 25: Who Dares, Wynnes
Part 26: Kids! Say No To Blood Magic!
Part 27: Love Will Tear Us Apart
Part 28: Dreamy Sleepy Nightie Snoozy Snooze
Part 29: A Narrow Squeak
Part 30: Supaburn
Part 31: The Incredible Hulk
Part 32: Action Therapy
Part 33: Rise And Shine
Part 34: Pride Comes Before A Fall
Part 35: Dodgy Geezer

Honnleath
Part 36: Deadly Sex Goddess
Part 37: A Talking Cat!?!
Part 38: Chicken Out

Soldier's Peak
Part 39: At The Mountains Of Madness
Part 40: Reports Of My Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated
Part 41: Deal Or No Deal

Redcliffe
Part 42: Glourious Basterds
Part 43: Ask Not What Your Village Can Do For You
Part 44: The Secret Power Of Alcoholism
Part 45: A Hard Day's Night
Part 46: Castle Spoopenstein
Part 47: Jowan's Bogus Journey
Part 48: Dismemberment Tuesday

Camp (2)
Part 49: Not So Simple

Frozen Ostagar
Part 50: Our Mutual Friend
Part 51: Battle Under The Big Bridge

Camp (3)
Part 52: Sten Has A Conversation With A Dog

The Brecilian Forest
Part 53: The New Romantics
Part 54: Highway To The Friend Zone
Part 55: Got Wood?
Part 56: Nice New Fur Rug
Part 57: The Rapping Tree
Part 58: I Know You Are, But What Am I?
Part 59: Skellingtons
Part 60: Crystal Gem
Part 61: The Lady Or The Tiger
Part 62: Dragon Age: The Musical!

Camp (4)
Part 63: That Old Black Magic
Part 64: Eight Simple Rules For Possessing My Teenage Daughter

Denerim
Part 65: The Real Deal
Part 66: The Great Mabari Caper
Part 67: All I Care About Is Sex And Violence
Part 68: A Hard Rain's Gonna Fall
Part 69: Murder, She Read

Haven
Part 70: Take It Up With Human Resources
Part 71: Haven Is A Place On Earth
Part 72: The Sharpened Spike
Part 73: Dragonforce
Part 74: Ask Me No Questions And I'Ll Tell You No Lies
Part 75: You Have Chosen... Wisely
Part 76: Strangers In The Night

Past Denerim
Part 77: Leliana After Dark
Part 78: A Little Light Treason
Part 79: Chained Heat
Part 80: It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

Camp (5)
Part 81: Leliana Rising: Revengeance

Orzammar
Part 82: You Can't Go Home Again
Part 83: Start Spreading The News
Part 84: The Old Homestead
Part 85: Family Ties
Part 86: The Ambassador's Reception
Part 87: The Tournament Arc
Part 88: Bookman's Revenge
Part 89: Bear With Me

The Deep Roads
Part 90: I'Ll See You At The Crossroads
Part 91: The Darkspawn Of The Night, What Music They Make!
Part 92: Big Momma's House
Part 93: Hammer Into Anvil
Part 94: Rock The Vote
Part 95: #Moga

Camp (6)
Part 96: Rump Roast
Part 97: Snitches Get Riches
Part 98: Oghrimemo
Part 99: I Have Come To Regard You As People I've Met

The Landsmeet
Part 100: Stand And Deliver
Part 101: Tactical Espionage Action
Part 102: Your Queen Is In This Castle

Alternate Universe
Part 103: It's A Wonderful Life
Part 104: The Denerim Gentrification Project

The Landsmeet (2)
Part 105: Jailbroken
Part 106: Love Is In The Air
Part 107: Busting Makes Me Feel Good
Part 108: Does Whatever A Spider Can
Part 109: Loose Ends
Part 110: The Enemy Of My Enemy

The Final Battle?
Part 111: Indecent Proposal
Part 112: Not With A Whimper, But A Bang
Part 113: Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads?




Vigil's Keep
Part 114: Here We Go Again
Part 115: Vigil Dungeon Blues
Part 116: Howe Now

The City of Amaranthine
Part 117: Is This The Way To Amaranthine?
Part 118: Eff The Police
Part 119: Critical Chunks

Kal'Hirol
Part 120: Last Dwarf Standing
Part 121: No War But Class War
Part 122: Attack Of The Nouns

Vigil's Keep (2)
Part 123: I Ain't Afraid Of No Ghost
Part 124: Role Playing Game

Amgarrak
Part 125: Down Among The Dead Men
Part 126: Taste The Rainbow

The City of Amaranthine (2)
Part 127: Put A Ring On It

The Blackmarsh
Part 128: Marsh Madness
Part 129: In Justice We Trust
Part 130: Bianca Aeducan And The Curse Of The Ghost Dragon

Vigil's Keep (3)
Part 131: Dead And Loving It

The Wending Wood
Part 132: Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires
Part 133: Good Ol' Rock
Part 134: Can't Make An Omelette Without Breaking Wardens

The Final Battle
Part 135: Elf On The Shelf
Part 136: All For One And One For All
Part 137: Mother's Ruin

Epilogue
Part 138: Give A Hoot, Read A Book
Part 139: My God, It's Full Of Stars
Part 140: Goodbyeeeeee




Our Heroes

Bianca. The protagonist. Daughter of the Dwarven King. Joined up with the Grey Wardens for protection from dwarven politics.

Alistair. Rookie Grey Warden. Lawful Good. Has a smart mouth.

Morrigan. Apostate mage. Sent on adventure by her mother. Mysterious motives. Odd dress sense.

Leliana. Spunky nun. Believes the Maker told her to help our heroes. Shadowy past.

Sten. Big grumpy qunari. May have killed some children this one time.

Wynne. Cool magical grandma. Here to fight the good fight.

Zevran. Rebellious assassin. Works for us now. Has issues with his former employer's severance package.

Shale. Bitter old golem. Likes pretty things. Hates birds. Haaaaaates birds.

Oghren. A drunken dwarf. Enjoys pornography, turpentine and never showering. Basically a goon.

Barkley. A dog. Pretty smart. Likes Bianca and pantaloons.

Mhairi. A young knight with big dreams of joining the Grey Wardens.

Anders. Snarky apostate mage with strong political views. Sit right down and let's rap about the opiate of the masses.

Nathaniel. Roguish son of one of our many nemesises. Awkward.

Sigrun. A Legionaire of the Dead, but surprisingly chipper about it.

Justice. JUSTICE BY NAME. JUSTICE BY NATURE.

Velanna. Elven mage. Fueled by anger and blood and sarcasm.


The Grey Wardens

Duncan. Head of all Grey Wardens in Ferelden. The Obi-Wan of Dragon Age.

Riordan. Tough Orlesian Warden. Breaks necks and hearts in equal measure.

Daveth. Not "David". Warden recruit. Slightly lovable rogue.

Jory. Warden recruit. Family man. Resembles a frog.

Sophia. The last Warden Commander before Duncan. Smells pretty bad now.

Avernus. Ancient, amoral Warden mage. Demon expert. Comically large ears.


Merchant Venturers

Bodahn Feddic. Travelling dwarven merchant. Tagging along with us now. Ask him about his low, low prices!

Sandal Feddic. Bodahn's adoptive son. Lyrium-addled. Ask him about enchantment!

Levi Dryden. Hustling merchant. Descendant of disgraced Warden Commander Sophia Dryden. Wants to clear her name.

Mikhael Dryden. Levi's blacksmith brother. Tough guy. No time for niceties.


The Wilds

Flemeth. The Witch of the Wilds. Old, powerful, eccentric. Morrigan's mother.


The Nobility of Ferelden

Loghain. Head of Ferelden's armies. Poor boy done good. Now rules as Regent.

Howe. Powerful nobleman. Loghain's right hand. Total bastard.

Cailan. King of Ferelden. Big Grey Warden fanboy.

Anora. Queen of Ferelden. Daughter to Loghain, wife to Cailan. Seems nice.

Elric. One of King Cailan's honor guard. You remember Elric, right? Good ol' Elric.

Cauthrien. Loghain's enforcer. Probably the best warrior in Ferelden. Besides us, of course.

Erlina. Anora's Frenchified handmaiden. I'm almost positive she's a spy.


The Circle of Mages

Greagoir. Knight-commander of Ferelden's Templars. Da chief.

Irving. First Enchanter, head of the Circle, largest beard.

Uldred. Evil, bald mage. Chose a poor time to try and get promoted.

The Sloth Demon. Leading cause of night terrors.

Niall. Mage trapped in the Fade. Seems to have given up on everything.

Cullen. Crazy templar. Will go on to better things in the sequels.


Redcliffe Village

Murdock. Two fisted action mayor. He's gruff!

Owen. Drunken blacksmith. Sad about his dead wife, missing daughter, poor beard hygiene.

Dwyn. Dwarven loanshark. Always looks after #1.

Bella. Cheery barmaid. Big dreams, big heart.

Lloyd. Cowardly bartender. Not part of the craft beer revolution.

Berwick. Suspicious elf. What's he up to?


Redcliffe Castle

Arl Eamon. Voted 'Noble Least Likely To Have Us All Killed' in the annual Grey Warden awards.

Teagan. A Bann of Ferelden. Doesn't have time for Loghain's bullshit. Brother to Arl Eamon.

Isolde. The Arlessa, wife to Arl Eamon. On the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Connor. Son of Arl Eamon. Latent mage. Uh oh.

Ser Perth. The highest ranking survivor of Redcliffe's knights. Dull but worthy.

Jowan. Rogue mage. Works for Loghain. Having second thoughts.


The Brecilian Forest

Zathrian. Ancient Keeper of the Dalish Elves. Not a dog person.

Lanaya. Apprentice Keeper. Raised by humans. Curious about humanity.

Mithra. Hardassed elven hunter lady. Kinda racist against non-elves.

The Lady. Mysterious beautiful naked green forest woman. Hey, gotta have one in every RPG.

Swiftrunner. Angry werewolf. Nice teeth. Fresh breath. Hrrr.

The Grand Oak. A rhyming tree. A pleasure to see. Fiddle-de-dee.

The Hermit. Mad old man of the forest. Does he like questions? Yes.


Denerim, the Capital of Ferelden

'Slim' Couldry. A well-connected crime guy. He knows all the crimes! Even the illegal ones!

Master Ignacio. A legitimate businessman. He is, ehhh, how you say, not from around these parts.

Sgt. Kylon. Kylon of the Yard. Tough talking street cop. Ferelden's sanest man.

Goldanna. Alistair's sister. An angry, angry young woman.

Wade. Ferelden's greatest armorsmith. A confirmed bachelor. Enjoys musicals. Strong feelings about interior design.

Otto. Blind old templar. "One of the good ones".

Shianni. Spunky young elf. She fights for what's right.

Valendrian. Leader of the elven ghetto. Spends most of his time getting the poo poo kicked out of him by aristocrats.

Caladrius. Powerful Tevinter mage. He's started making trouble in our neighborhood.


Haven, the Mountain Village

Brother Genitivi. Ferelden's answer to Indiana Jones, if Indiana Jones was bald and didn't use a whip. Actually, he's nothing like Indy. Forget I brought it up.

Eirik. Spiritual leader of Haven. Organises bake sales, charity collections, blood sacrifices etc

Kolgrim. Big chief of the Disciples of Andraste. Refers to dragonlings as his children. Probably a closet Scaley. Don't google that.

The Guardian. Ancient keeper of the Urn of Sacred Ashes. Knows our darkest secrets. Yes, even that one.


The Good Old Days

Marjolaine. Orlesian spymaster. That accent can't possibly be genuine.

Young Leliana. An impressionable teen spy. Crushing pretty hard on Marjolaine.

Tug. A sleazy dwarf. Incredible moustache. Don't ask about his nickname.

Sketch. Stuck-up mage. Seems a little too neurotic for this line of work.

Harwen. Mercenary captain and former noble. Harwen is a bad bad man.

Silas. It's Silas Corthwaite! Soldier turned poacher turned revenger man.

Dorothea. Kindly priestess with a weakness for spy ladies.


The Dwarven City of Orzammar

Endrin. Bianca's dad. King of Orzammar. Unwell. Everyone's worried about what'll happen when he dies.

Bhelen. Bianca's little brother. Ambitious. Veeeeery ambitious.

Trian. Bianca's older brother. Paranoid, angry, large stick up rear end.

Harrowmont. Chief advisor to King Endrin. The good sort of Grand Vizier.

Gorim. Bianca's former bodyguard and bestest pal. Steve Blum at his Steve Blumingest.

Jeb. Human mercenary hired by Bhelen. The hero of Update 7. Came to a Bad End.

Vartag. Cringing lackey to Bhelen. Keeps trying to make us do his job for him.

Dulin. Pathetic menial to Harrowmont. Keeps trying to make us do his job for him.

Czibor. The Shaper of Memories. A glorified librarian with a :krad: title.

Jarvia. Sinister Crime Lord. But she's a lady. 'Crime Lady' doesn't sound right.

Kardol. Gloomy Legionnaire. He's paying off his debt to society through darkspawn murder.

Branka. The Paragon. A living embodiment of everything a dwarf should aspire to. Or not.


The Darkspawn Horde

The Archdemon. Leader of the darkspawn. Formerly Urthemiel, Old God of Beauty. She has not aged well.

Derek the Darkspawn. A Hurlock Vanguard, the middle management of evil. He keeps this show on the road.

The Architect. Scientist, scholar, monster. He set everything in motion.

Utha. Silent dwarfy sidekick to the Architect.

The Mother. The biggest of bads.


Vigil Keep

Varel. Our seneschal. Middle manages the keep on our behalf.

Garavel. Newbie guard captain. By-the-book type.

Woolsey. Bureaucrat sent by Grey Warden HQ to manage our finances. Quick, hide the liquor.

Maverlies. Guard sergeant, who's troubled by happenings in the basement.

Voldrik. Our stonemason. Kinda racist against humans, but eh, he's cheap.

Dworkin. A mad bomber, but he's on our side. Probably.

Eddelbrek Local nobility. A real man of the people.


Amaranthine City

Aidan. What passes for the law in Amaranthine. Likes hugs.

Shady Fellow. What passes for organised crime in Amaranthine. Likes money.

The Dark Wolf. Cool and edgy vigilante. Probably has his own spin-off comic series.

Mischa. Dwarven shopkeep. Has history with Sigrun, which will probably become our problem soon.


The Amgarrak Expedition

Jerrik. Dwarven noble trying to save his brother's life. Must be opposite day.

Brogan. The brother trying to be saved. Unstable but useful.

Snug the Bronto. A large but unreliable friend.


The Blackmarsh

The First. An unusually crafty darkspawn with a strange manner of speaking.

The Baroness. Another riff on the Carmilla legend. Big on vanity, not so big on peasant's rights.


The Wending Woods

Ines. A very sarcastic botanist.

The Statue of War. A violent statue with a grim backstory.

The Statue of Peace. A kindly statue with another grim backstory.

Seranni. Velanna's sister. Major case of Stockholm Syndrome.


The Witch Hunters

Ariane. rear end-kicking machine with an interest in elf rights, dogs and chocolate.

Finn. NERRRRRRRRRRRRD.


NOW READ ON...

Inferior fucked around with this message at 21:28 on Oct 27, 2019

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Inferior
Oct 19, 2012

This space for rent.

Inferior fucked around with this message at 19:58 on Oct 24, 2019

Inferior
Oct 19, 2012

PART 1: A LONG, LONG TIME AGO, IN A GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY...

[VIDEO: The Opening]



PREPARE YOUR BODIES FOR THE THUNDERDOME.



The Chantry teaches us that it is the hubris of men which brought the darkspawn into our world.



The mages had sought to usurp Heaven, but instead they destroyed it.



They were cast out, twisted and cursed by their own corruption.



They returned as monsters, the first of the darkspawn.



They became a Blight upon the land, unstoppable and relentless.





The dwarven kingdoms were the first to fall.



And from the Deep Roads, the darkspawn drove at us again and again...



...until finally we neared annihilation.





Until the Grey Wardens came.









Men and women from every race, warriors and mages, barbarians and kings...







The Grey Wardens sacrificed everything to stem the tide of darkness... and prevailed.





It has been four centuries since that victory and we have kept our vigil. We have watched and waited for the darkspawn to return... But those who once called us heroes... have forgotten.





We are few now, and our warnings have been ignored for too long.











It may even be too late... for I have seen with my own eyes what lies on the horizon.



Maker, help us all.



So, that's the situation. Ancient evil, chosen one(s), desperate struggle. We'll laugh, we'll love, we'll learn, and in the end we'll murder a zombie dragon from hell.

But first we'll need a hero. And what type of hero shall we be?



Dragon Age: Origins lets you choose 1 of 6 origins (the clue's in the title) for your protagonist. Each origin gives us a different prologue and (very) occasionally affects things in the main plot. Sometimes there's additional dialogue. Sometimes there's bonus items. Sometimes everyone's just a dick to you because of fantasy racism.

The choice of our plucky hero's origin is in the hands of you, the viewer. You may also choose how plucky they are.


Dalish Elf posted:

Proud of your role as one of the few “true elves,” you have always assumed you would spend your life with your tribe... until a chance encounter with a relic of your people's past threatens to tear you away from everything you have ever known.
PRO: Lovely hair, nice smell.
CON: Oooh, check me out, I'm a true elf. Lah de dah de dah. Prancey prancey prance.


Dwarf Commoner posted:

Born casteless in a land where rank is everything, bound as the lackey and thug of a local crime lord, you have spent your life invisible... until chance thrusts you into the spotlight, where you can finally prove whether you will be defined by your actions or your birth.
PRO: Look at me, ma. Top of the world.
CON: Common as muck.


City Elf posted:

You have always lived under the heavy thumb of your human overlords, but when a local lord claims his “privilege” with the bride and shatters your wedding day, the simmering racial tensions explode in a rain of vengeance.
PRO: “Rain of vengeance.”
CON: “Heavy thumb.”


Magi posted:

Wielding a power as dangerous as it is potent, you know that magic is a curse for those lacking the will to control it. You anxiously await your Harrowing, the one chance you have to prove yourself against the demons lurking without and within. Succeed, or be slaughtered by the knights who ward against your kind.
PRO: Power! Unlimited Power!!!
CON: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!

[NB: Mages can be either elves or humans. Humans get more skills, elves have slightly better stats. Dwarves lack the special magical juice required.]


Human Noble posted:

Born to wealth and power, second only to royalty, you find your training in both diplomacy and battle put to the test as your brother leads the bulk of your family's forces to war in the south.
PRO: Be the 1%.
CON: We've all seen Game of Thrones. We know how this works.

[NB: Dwarves and elves get two dedicated origins each, but humans only get one. There was going to be a Human Commoner origin, but it got taken out due to “lack of time”. Personally, I think it's yet more evidence of Bioware's sickening anti-human bigotry.]


Dwarven Noble posted:

As the favored child of the dwarven king, you proudly take up your first military command... only to learn that the deadly intrigues of family and sycophants may pose a greater danger than even the battlefield.
PRO: The mightiest beard.
CON: The deadliest sycophants.



NOW WHAT?

To make our hero, I need you to pick:
An ORIGIN, from the ones listed above. Don't forget to specify human or elf for the Mage origin.
A GENDER, which mostly just affects how many people we can have sex with. Just like in real life!
A CLASS, either FIGHTER or ROGUE for the non-Mage origins. I won't insult your intelligence by explaining the difference.
A CHARACTER ALIGNMENT, so I know how many of the “total dickhead” dialogue options to pick.

Most popular choice wins.

Feel free to also suggest a name, face, hairstyle, hat size, lucky number, favourite colour... I'll just pick the defaults if there's no consensus on those.

Voting closes in two days, and then I'll get this show on the road.

[For the record, a canticle is a religious song, and a threnody is a song of mourning. So the opening quote is from verse 13 of chapter 8 of the song of sad songs.]

Inferior fucked around with this message at 15:26 on Oct 27, 2019

EightDeer
Dec 2, 2011

Female Human Mage, True Neutral. Bonus: Green eyes, black hair (long)

steinrokkan
Apr 2, 2011



Soiled Meat
I'll vote for the character I played, as far as I can remember:

Female, human, mage, lawful good, i guess.

Veloxyll
May 3, 2011

Fuck you say?!

Prancy Elf Male Rogue.

Neutral Pro-elf racist.

Bonus: Pursue all the romances. At once.

HomestarCanter
Oct 21, 2008

Strong Bad,
you're a horse's twees.
Female, Mage, Elf, neutral-friendly (neutral good).

SyntheticPolygon
Dec 20, 2013

Female, Dwarf Noble, Rogue, and evil as hell I guess.

Bonus: Do all the romances because the scenes are funnier when you play as a dwarf.

mauman
Jul 30, 2014

Whoever's got the biggest whiskers does the talking.
Dwarf Noble
Male
Rogue
True-Neutral (Gotta keep our options open, yo)


Let's tear this game a new one.

Also, Dwarven Nobles have one other teensy little pro to them. It probably counts as a spoiler so I won't say it, but there's a reason why DN is called "Easy-Mode".

Ah hell...changing my vote so we can see the sure awesomeness of the Dwarven Noble advantages.

mauman fucked around with this message at 01:23 on Mar 8, 2015

Internet Kraken
Apr 24, 2010

slightly amused
Dwarf Noble
Male
Rogue
Neutral good

This grimdark setting needs a true hero! A noble with a heart of gold that totally won't gently caress up everything due to incompetence! Wooooo! :shepface:

Wayne
Oct 18, 2014

He who fights too long against dragons becomes a dragon himself
Hey Inferior, remember you from the TOR thread before it got way too long to keep track of. NG Female Human Mage healer, right? :D

Actually, if I remember right, Dalish Elves can be mages, right, and that overrides the usual Mage origin? If so do that, Lawful Evil and Female for the other stuff.

Veloxyll posted:

Bonus: Pursue all the romances. At once.

No matter which gender you pick, you miss out on one romance option. At least unlike the aforementioned Baldur's Gate 2 your race doesn't factor into it.

mauman posted:

Also, Dwarven Nobles have one other teensy little pro to them.

Only if you're not ignoring NPCs to power through the origin story. :doh:

brycepahatesyou
Nov 3, 2011
Chaotic good female city elf warrior to stick it to the man!

mauman
Jul 30, 2014

Whoever's got the biggest whiskers does the talking.

Wayne posted:


Actually, if I remember right, Dalish Elves can be mages, right, and that overrides the usual Mage origin? If so do that, Lawful Evil and Female for the other stuff.



Dalish Elves being mages requires a mod, and it doesn't override the Mage origin stuff. Which will make things VERY strange later on in the game :downs:

Always thought this was strange, since from a lore stand point, Dalish characters being mages would have made total sense. Guess Bioware didn't want to put in the extra :effort:

Wayne posted:


Only if you're not ignoring NPCs to power through the origin story. :doh:

Oh, it goes beyond the Origin story. Oh dear GOD does it go beyond the Origin story. The Origin story stuff just sets the stage for the sheer brokenness that awaits the Dwarven Noble.

mauman fucked around with this message at 01:13 on Mar 8, 2015

Internet Kraken
Apr 24, 2010

slightly amused

Wayne posted:

Actually, if I remember right, Dalish Elves can be mages, right, and that overrides the usual Mage origin? If so do that, Lawful Evil and Female for the other stuff.

No. Only way you can sling spells is too go with the standard mage origin, which sucks since its by far the most boring one I've played and lasts way too long.

mauman posted:

Oh, it goes beyond the Origin story. Oh dear GOD does it go beyond the Origin story. The Origin story stuff just sets the stage for the sheer brokenness that awaits the Dwarven Noble.

Maybe I missed something but I don't remember anything that makes the DN start broken.

Internet Kraken fucked around with this message at 01:16 on Mar 8, 2015

Wayne
Oct 18, 2014

He who fights too long against dragons becomes a dragon himself
Yeah, no kidding. OK, in that case, Dalish Rogue instead of mage. :argh:


mauman posted:

Oh, it goes beyond the Origin story. Oh dear GOD does it go beyond the Origin story. The Origin story stuff just sets the stage for the sheer brokenness that awaits the Dwarven Noble.

:aaa: Well, I'll have to wait for the spoiler embargo to be lifted on that to see what else I missed, then. I'm actually playing DAO now (on PS3 since it came with all the DLC) as a dwarf noble.

frajaq
Jan 30, 2009

#acolyte GM of 2014


Female Human Mage, True Neutral

So the LP is even easier

EponymousMrYar
Jan 4, 2015

The enemy of my enemy is my enemy.
I keep coming back to this game every so often to bang my head at some things and try for different other things.

I go Male Human Noble Fighter, but I am rather interested in the other side of the quasi-political spectrum so:

Dwarf Noble
Male
Rogue
True Neutral
of the 'manipulative bastard' slant.

Heliosmajestus
May 11, 2013
Male, human, mage and Chaotic Good

Trick Question
Apr 9, 2007


CITY ELF
FEMALE
FIGHTER
NEUTRAL EVIL

For maximum Kill Billitude.We had a really good reason for killing at first, but then it turned out it was actually pretty fun, so let's murder our way to social status.

Shadow gamer
Jul 24, 2008

I PASSED UP A BARGAIN
CITY ELF
FEMALE
FIGHTER
NEUTRAL EVIL


Because Trick Question speaks the truth.

Veloxyll
May 3, 2011

Fuck you say?!

Internet Kraken posted:

No. Only way you can sling spells is too go with the standard mage origin, which sucks since its by far the most boring one I've played and lasts way too long.


Yeah, both Human and Elf mages get the same origin story.

And I know re: romance. I won't name names since this is still nospoils town.

Jimmy4400nav
Apr 1, 2011

Ambassador to Moonlandia
Dwarf Noble
Male
Rogue
Chaotic Good


Lets be Tyrion Lannister!

Bacontotem
May 27, 2010



Elf Male Mage
Alighnment:Ponciest assholiest Elf possible.

Yaoi Gagarin
Feb 20, 2014

Dalish Elf
Female
Warrior
Super Sheltered/Naive Chaotic Good

"Humans have civilization? :monocle:"

Geostomp
Oct 22, 2008

Unite: MASH!!
~They've got the bad guys on the run!~
Let us be Amell Magic Man bringing justice to all while being quietly ashamed of our hick cousins in that Kirk-place.

Geostomp fucked around with this message at 03:10 on Mar 8, 2015

thejoshie
May 3, 2013

Trick Question posted:

CITY ELF
FEMALE
FIGHTER
NEUTRAL EVIL

For maximum Kill Billitude.We had a really good reason for killing at first, but then it turned out it was actually pretty fun, so let's murder our way to social status.

This.

THIS.

OH GOD THIS.

EDIT: [While it was spoiler tagged, removed line to be safe]

If this goes the distance (I'm pulling for you), will this go into DA2?

thejoshie fucked around with this message at 03:31 on Mar 8, 2015

berenzen
Jan 23, 2012

I agree with Trick Question, except you should be a rogue, not a fighter.

Internet Kraken
Apr 24, 2010

slightly amused

VostokProgram posted:

Dalish Elf
Female
Warrior
Super Sheltered/Naive Chaotic Good

"Humans have civilization? :monocle:"

That's basically how I played my Dalish Elf. It was...interesting.

thejoshie posted:

If this goes the distance (I'm pulling for you), will this go into DA2?

DA 2 is basically a completely separate and terrible game though.

Brunom1
Sep 5, 2011

Ask me about being the best dad ever.
Human
Female
Warrior/Sword & Shield
Neutral-Good

Leather and Mage hats look stooooooopid - be a stupid, proud tank! :black101:

Sinner Sandwich
Oct 13, 2012
Dorf
Male
Warrior/Two-handed
Lawful Good

While everyone else is busy trying to be cutthroat assholes, we're going to be the brightest beacon of hope this setting's ever seen.

thejoshie
May 3, 2013

Internet Kraken posted:

DA 2 is basically a completely separate and terrible game though.

DA2 was an ok game. The problem was that Bioware got lazy and didn't have the decency to cover it up. Then they made matters worse by treating us like idiots and pretend that our perception was wrong... almost like the Mass Effect 3 "the ending was a work of art" fiasco.

I enjoyed DA2. It did things that I wished DA:I did (Faster paced combat, easier inventory management and the ability to be a complete jerk and STILL romance whomever you want are the ones I miss the most) but it could've been so much better.

Brunom1 posted:

Human
Female
Warrior/Sword & Shield
Neutral-Good

Leather and Mage hats look stooooooopid - be a stupid, proud tank! :black101:

Human Noble also had some hidden content PLUS possibly has the biggest link to the main plot of the game. If Female City Elf wasn't so badass, I'd vote that. Noble is my second favorite, followed closely by Dwarf Noble.

Aces High
Mar 26, 2010

Nah! A little chocolate will do




SyntheticPolygon posted:

Female, Dwarf Noble, Rogue, and evil as hell I guess.

Bonus: Do all the romances because the scenes are funnier when you play as a dwarf.

This one, this is exactly what I was going to say as soon as I saw the thread.

Time to go all :black101: on everything 3 feet and higher




That and I haven't done a Dwarf Rogue yet so this should be interesting

SubponticatePoster
Aug 9, 2004

Every day takes figurin' out all over again how to fuckin' live.
Slippery Tilde
Oh hey. I've never seen an LP of any DA games on SA and now there are two! (thanks for the shoutout). Video has its problems but doing this SS has got to be a monumental undertaking.

My vote:
Male, Dwarf Commoner, Rogue, Chaotic Good aka snarky as gently caress but nice where it counts

doctorsacred
Jan 8, 2015
Dwarf Commoner.
Male.
Rogue.
Chaotic Good.


Edit: Just like SubponticatePoster suggested.

doctorsacred fucked around with this message at 10:14 on Mar 8, 2015

Kaboom Dragoon
May 7, 2010

The greatest of feasts

Male
City Elf
Warrior
Maximum rear end in a top hat


Call him Glorfinmad,

Jeabus Mahogany
Feb 13, 2011

I'm mad because of a thorn in my impenetrable hide
FEMALE
CITY ELF
ROGUE
THE ALIGNMENT WITH THE MOST COOL STUFF IN IT

Veriun
Mar 9, 2013

As long as we're alive,
good things will come.

And we'll be okay.
Female dwarf commoner with a heart of gold (Lawful Good), Rogue.

Veriun fucked around with this message at 16:36 on Mar 8, 2015

anilEhilated
Feb 17, 2014

But I say fuck the rain.

Grimey Drawer
Male Dalish Elf, Rogue, TEAR DOWN CIVILIZATION.

Brony Hunter
Dec 27, 2012

Motherfucking Mannis

They'll bend the knee or I'll destroy them

Trick Question posted:

CITY ELF
FEMALE
FIGHTER
NEUTRAL EVIL

For maximum Kill Billitude.We had a really good reason for killing at first, but then it turned out it was actually pretty fun, so let's murder our way to social status.

This!

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Tiggum
Oct 24, 2007

Your life and your quest end here.


ORIGIN: Mage, species unimportant.
CHARACTER ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Stupid.

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