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Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

RagnarokAngel posted:

Golden Sun does this too.

For content The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy text adventure game, in order to solve the final puzzle of the game you need one item to win. The trick is it's chosen randomly from one of seven items you had to pick up through the game. The trick is if you are missing ANY of the 7 items it will ask you for one of the items you don't have. At this point you wouldn't be able to get it and would need to start the game over. Text adventures back then we're pretty dicking but that stood out.

No no, it's better than that. You can only take one item into the final room, and the game will always ask for one of the ones you haven't got. You can't even wear your dressing-gown because the space is too tight to fit.

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Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

Elkyrie posted:

So... can you even win? That sounds beyond trolling, just plain dickishness :shepface:

Sure you can win, you just have to look into the future! See, throughout the game you can collect (but can totally miss) four pieces of fluff, which when put into the weird thing your aunt gave you (luckily this can't be missed because whenever you throw it away it comes back to you a few turns later) and taken into the sauna, turns out to be a fluff tree that grows fruit that gives you limited prescience. Eating the fruit gives you a vision of the item you'll need, which locks it down. The in-game Guide will tell you about this property of fluff, if you think to check it.

The game is definitely complete bullshit.

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

Oh man, it actually lied to you twice. Once where if you kept looking at the room, it would keep giving you changing descriptions of the room having nothing at all in it until giving up and admitting the truth. But in the other case, it was just an empty room and the game told you "There is an exit to port."

quote:

>W
You can't go that way.
>W
You can't go that way.
>S
(We lied about the exit to port.)
You emerge into etc

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

The popular theory is that Raiden was actually playing The Twin Snakes, which explains why Snake's picked up so many new moves in that game, why the cutscenes are all so ridiculous compared to how they originally went down, and why there's a couple of hidden VR targets around the base.

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

DX1 has different objectives to complete throughout the final room, each leads to a different ending.

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

Shwqa posted:

I did :smug:

Everyone in my school had max masterballs and full legendary team.

There's only four legendaries

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

FFIV DS, full stop. Takes what was already known as a hard FF game and makes it harder, in completely non-obvious ways. Slow helps on bosses in the original? Well on the DS it's basically required to survive them. And the Augments system, christ. It seems cool, you get extra copies of character-unique abilities that you can put on other characters to get some neat synergy going, like putting Counter on Cecil so he tanks everyone's hits with Cover and then retaliates. Except that all of the ones you get early, you have to give to characters who are going to permanent leave the party, probably by dying. Because if you don't, you won't get most of their Augments down the line, and then you won't have enough to put on other characters to get their Augments and still have some left over for the five who'll survive the game. Of course, there's no hints about this anywhere, unless you count noticing that Edward the Bard had like six abilities and all he left behind was Hide, what's up with that.

Of course, if you did look up a guide, you'd know to do all this and be pretty eager to get Ultima. Ultima is traditionally (since FF3 or so I think) the most powerful damage spell in FF, but the original FF4 didn't have it, instead giving that title to Meteo(r). In FF4IV, there's a pair of mage twins who join your party temporarily. They have a special ability called Twincast. If they both do it, then after a longish chargeup, they cast a pretty powerful spell like Comet. In FFIVDS, when they leave, you get a free pair of Twincast augments. Great, use them right away! But specific character pairs have special Twincast spells. Pretty boy main character Cecil and his girlfriend Rosa are one such pair, they can Twincast Ultima. So OK, that's pretty awesome, so you have them do it. Cecil's the Paladin and Rosa's the White Mage, so both of your endgame healers are out of the fight for the pretty lengthy Twincast charge-up. The bar fills up, they do their arm-wavy animation, aaaaand...

Comet!

What the gently caress

Yeah turns out there's only a chance of the special Twincasts. A lot of the time (ie when you need it) you'll get the same old chump spells that anyone can do. Two characters (neither with especially strong magical attack, even) taken out of the fight for loving forever, with the result more than likely to be a middling-powerful damage spell. And in case you're wondering, the twins themselves have no special Twincast. That would be silly.

E: Also, giving Augments to the twins. Give one to the girl, you get her Cry augment, which debuffs enemy defenses. Funnily enough, because of how many abilities everyone else has, it's basically always optimal to put it on the big tough Dragoon voiced by Liam O'Brian. Give one to the boy, you get his Bluff augment, which doubles your next black magic attack. Logical enough, but there's one more. You actually have to give the twins three augments between them, with at least one going to each, and then when they go you get the godly Doublecast augment which lets a mage cast two spells at once. Good luck figuring that out without looking it up.

Dabir has a new favorite as of 13:25 on May 5, 2015

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

Pneub posted:

This is the first time I've ever seen anyone say that FFIV wasn't the easiest game in the series.

Well, the international market only got Easy Mode.

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

Kikka posted:

the greatest trick game developers ever pulled is early access. people pay for half a game that you never have to finish

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

If you don't know about Slow, Cagnazzo is kind of a brick wall on DS. The Tsunamis just come out too fast.

E: Actually, that's another kind of trolly thing about the game. Cagnazzo's the Elemental Lord of Water, so you'd expect him to be weak to lightning like all the other water enemies you've fought so far, right? Well he's not, against all logic he's weak to ice. So you have your mages queue up their most powerful ice spells, which does a lot of damage, and that works out pretty well. Then partway through the fight he summons a wall of water. Suddenly his weaknesses change, now he heals from ice and is weak to lightning. But you don't know that without trying it or wasting someone's time casting Libra on him. If you don't hit him with lightning before his next turn, he drops a really strong water-elemental Tsunami on all your characters. And he'll keep doing that over and over.

Dabir has a new favorite as of 15:04 on May 6, 2015

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

The bow being invisible makes sense. If it was visible, you'd be able to see it through the chest.

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

Final Fantasy 9 has a great secret weapon. The ultimate sword, Excalibur 2, can only be found by searching a specific pillar in the penultimate dungeon - but only if you got there in less than 12 hours, which is reasonable. Now here's the thing, because of the framerate difference between PAL and NTSC, in the PAL version you actually have quite a bit less time to get there and get it. It's incredibly difficulty to do without missing any treasure - and there's another key item that requires you to not miss any treasure to get it.

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

bucketmouse posted:

Imagine a stereotypical grisly looking grim reaper that slowly plods around the level on a set path but the instant it sees you it goes completely bugeyed and cartoony as it flies towards you in a hurricane of scythes, limbs and looney toons-style popped eyes as that song plays. It's basically the cue that you screwed up a stealth segment big time and you're going to be very, very dead in short order.

God those things are assholes in Smash. Soon as it appears and spots you the screen fills with 8-bit enemies that knock you all over the place, while it stands in place and slashes like a maniac any time you get near it.

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

Nuebot posted:

I love Dark Souls. Not just because it's fun, but because the clusterfuck of people who hate and defend it crack me up. People will get so mad when someone accuses it of having bad design, that they'll swear even the genuinely awful parts of it are really good game design, guys.

My single favorite troll in Dark Souls is probably the Chaos Servant covenant. After you beat one boss, there's a bell and a little hidden area. In this area is a monster that looks just like monsters you killed outside, except you can talk to it and there's no real indication you can. So the paranoid player might instinctively kill him and ruin everything. Once you go inside behind him is a monster that looks like the boss you just killed, and you can't communicate with it. Killing it grants you a pretty useful item, too.

However if you have one ring you can only get either by picking it as a starting item, which is entirely useless up until this point, or by trading another item to a semi-hidden NPC for it, you can understand what she says and join a covenant. Giving her enough Humanity, a stat/item that's beneficial to you, unlocks a shortcut to a later area and lets you save an NPC who would die otherwise. So if you never get this one arbitrary item or kill some gross bug monsters, you're forced to kill a useful NPC. There is zero indication of any of this, by the way.

The Chaos Servant thing isn't that bad, for one thing killing the guy who looks like an enemy doesn't matter in the slightest. You lose out on some useful stuff he sells but you don't miss out on the covenant. The really bad design in Dark Souls is all later in the game, poo poo like Lost Izalith which after an OK start just devolves into a massive lava field filled with dozens of reanimated dragon asses, or the Crystal Caves which are mostly invisible walkways over bottomless pits. Yes you can technically see where the paths are because of the very faint, gentle snowfall effect over them, but gently caress you for bringing that up, it's useless and so are you.

Also, the Chaos Servants are hidden behind an illusory wall that you have to attack to break. If you reach a rank of 3 in the covenant then go to Demon Ruins, a shortcut to Lost Izalith opens that's filled with Chaos Bugs, incredibly annoying enemies that run away from you all the time. One of these bugs, towards the end of the shortcut, is a special non-respawning one with glowing red eyes. Killing it gives you a glowy hat. Not killing it and heading out to the other side of the shortcut will mean that arguably the best NPC in the game is doomed to put it on his head and go stark raving mad.

Reaching rank 3 in the Chaos Servants requires you to turn over 30 Humanity to the covenant leader, which is quite a lot and will require some hefty farming. You turn them over one at a time in an animation that takes about six months. And most covenants in the game give you their full reward at rank 1, so you'd probably never think to do this.

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

Nuebot posted:

The dragon butts are literally dragon butts. They're the rear end-end of those dragon zombies you fight elsewhere. In the painted world you can attack the one that dragon leaves behind and it gets up.

Which is probably a bug due to them being hastily rigged to move around so they could be reused for the infinite plane of dragon butts. It was supposed to just lie there and block your way, attacking it clears a shortcut to the end of the area.

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

Nuebot posted:

I think it's pretty intentional considering the Painted World was the first area of the game they made, they probably designed it so you could fight that tough enemy and unlock a neat shortcut (it almost always falls to its death) when it looks like a static object and then figured since they didn't use it anywhere else, to paste it in the land of cut and paste along with the capra demon and taurus demon.

Just to try an rationalize for one second, the first dragon you typically fight is the one near blight town/new londo and its rear end falls into the hole. The hole probably leads down to blight town, or possibly even Izalith. Which is where all the other dragon asses are. So maybe they just fell down there :shrug: it's a poo poo zone full of rear end regardless. So here's a neat little thing about the painted world, the area you fight the boss in has code for a fall-away floor like the Asylum does and a beta spawn point for Nito.

Since that wasn't a troll, how about Bao-Dur in KOTOR2. You see, most of your non-droid party members can be turned into Jedi. Most of them have really easy to get triggers like "talking to them" or "not murdering them". But not bao-dur. To get enough influence points with him you have to have him along for very specific points in the game, of which there are only eight total and no real way to tell when they're about to happen until it's too late. Even worse is that he's a poo poo party member and a useless jedi.

But it's not an enemy in Painted World, it's supposed to be static. It doesn't fight you, you can't kill it, it just stands up if you jump-attack it and doesn't react to anything else you do.

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

Can, but won't.

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

What is the godawful ball?

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

Surely there can't be a bug in a Bethesda game.

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

Was it racist when Scooby Doo met the Harlem Globetrotters because the only black people in that show were tall, athletic basketballers?

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

So let me tell you all a story about Elite: Dangerous, the spaceship flying game that actually exists.

In E:D, there are some places people know never to go to. Not because they're especially dangerous, but because they're just really loving boring. See, every star system has one jump-in point, at the primary star, then from there you fly around in compressed space with a warp drive. Now, space is really big, and Elite is 1:1 accurate, so it can still take a while to get to places that are a few thousand light-seconds from the jump-in point.

The king of places that suck to get to is Alpha Centauri's main space station, Hutton Orbital, a whopping 0.22 light-years from the star. It's so far away that at the halfway point, because there's no gravity wells near you, your ship has reached speeds of over 1850 times the speed of light (out of a maximum of 2001c if you point at deep space and leave it going for a long time) and it's still showing half an hour ETA.

Here's a video of someone going to Hutton Orbital.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyBcRfCGQEg

If you watch all the way to the end, you'll see that he went there to finish a basic hauling mission that paid 1,100 credits, that's loving nothing. He probably spent more than that on fuel getting there. Any star nearish Alpha Centauri can generate missions like that.

Right now, Frontier have a Community Goal going where you go to Frost Dock in the Njambalba system, buy Personal Gifts (up to ~20 at once per player) and then take them to Clauss Port in the Santa Muerte system to sell them. If people ship enough of these things, newish players will be awarded a free Eagle (not a very valuable ship, but a step up from the Sidewinder you start with in pretty much every way). There's about 15 hyperspace jumps to get from one to the other, and just to really rub it in, Frost Dock is 30,000 light-seconds from the arrival point. Not exactly Hutton but still takes a good 5 or 10 minutes.

So far, people have shipped 63,000 tons of the stuff since it was assigned on the 22nd, which isn't bad considering how annoying it is, but, well...



I think Frontier set their expectations a bit high.

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

snergle posted:

Steam recommended this game to me and it sort of peaked my interest but I ignored it. Is the video a good example of game play?

Firstly, 'piqued'.

Secondly, not really. There is a good example of a delivery mission in there but it's got an hour of flying in a straight line in the middle because, again, Hutton Orbital SUCKS.

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

I mean it's not exactly Desert Bus, you don't have to make constant course corrections, so yes you could go have a sandwich or twenty while you're waiting, but you do have to manually guide yourself in at the end.

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

Bomrek posted:

Wasn't there a certain level of drunkenness you had to achieve at the pub in the early game too? Having too many pints made you the life of the party and too busy to notice the Earth was about to blow up.

You have to drink three pints, but that's actually fair cause a) it's in the books and b) Ford starts encouraging you to leave once you've had three.

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

they should have killed this thread instead of the griefing thread

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

I swear a good half of DS2's mechanics were "Hey remember Dark Souls 1? Well gently caress you specifically!"

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

Yeah that's a pretty good summary of DS2.

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

You should yeah. I got a Logitech F310 and it's worked like a dream for years.

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

You get a club, that's how.

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

The alternative is you suggest people play a technically inferior version of the game or buy it twice. Or don't play it at all, that's what I go with.

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

Maybe that was where they dumped all the dragons they killed, but they were too immortal to stop.

Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

In most instances of a boss like that you have to kill every bit of it, your description suggests that just killing the head or dealing enough damage overall would be enough. Is there anything like that?

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Dabir
Nov 10, 2012

Like realistically it'd fool nobody, they're only covering one side and often you approach from an uncovered side. Literally only works because of the forced perspective.

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