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*attempts to interview some salmon, but they are all heading up the river to spawn*
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Mar 9, 2015 17:35
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*pulls damp microphone from pocket* Reporter: We now go to Bear, on the West Bank. Bear, can you tell us more about the situation? Bear: *splashes paw in water*
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Mar 9, 2015 17:37
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And here's our social media trends on the issue: *hardcore gay porn briefly flashes on the screen before the intern manages to get into the appropriate #bear tag*
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Mar 9, 2015 17:39
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Mar 9, 2015 17:39
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Mar 9, 2015 17:41
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The Riverside High Otters lost 12-9 against the Streamwood Turtles. In weather, expect low temperatures and high speeds today due to melting snowpack. We turn now to a frog for more. Frog: *hops under bush*
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Mar 9, 2015 17:41
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Mar 9, 2015 17:43
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"and now h ere to comment on the race riots is will.i.am, who i believe has a new photography book coming out? mister i.am, is this correct?"
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Mar 9, 2015 17:45
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Up next: Hypothermia! Why has it claimed so many of our reporters, and what can you do to prevent it? We interview a duck about insulating layers of fat and downy feathers.
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Mar 9, 2015 17:46
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We now go to one of our favorite segments, Both Banks of the Issue with Bear and Salmoooooh god, oh god no, Bear, what did you do, oh noooooooooo why did we select such a contentious topic for today's discussion, turn off the cameras, it's a bloodbath, it's a goddamn massac [signal cuts out]
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Mar 9, 2015 17:49
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All right, it's time for traffic with Robin Bluejay. Well, Steve, we've got some real backup near the old beaver dam. A log has fallen in the water and we're rerouting people around it but things are a mess, minnows jumping out of the water all over the place. Please stay safe out there, everyone.
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Mar 9, 2015 17:54
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Reporter: Tom, we're unsure exactly WHAT prompted this Brow... sorry, 'urban' bear to go on a rampage. Witnesses at the scene say he was recently seen consuming 'honey', a recreational drug popularized in bear culture. The question we're all asking here is, where are the bear community leaders to decry this senseless violence? *images of a growling bear, bear with head in honeypot lazily relaxing*
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Mar 9, 2015 17:57
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Joining us tonight we have Virgil Hottenkopf from the Virginia chapter of the All Bears Must loving Hang Association. Now, Virgil, you've been in the headlines a lot lately for your, frankly, controversial take on the issue. Are you willing to stand by your comments that bears are, quote "satan's f-words"
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Mar 9, 2015 18:03
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Where is the eagle right now? What you don't know about the eagle's location could kill you! Up next!
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Mar 9, 2015 18:08
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Breaking news from our Potomac office: the suspect in the mauling has been identified as 'Grumbles the bear', a former Park Ranger who was terminated in 2008 after he allegedly filed a false report about a fellow Ranger.
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Mar 9, 2015 18:13
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We now go to senior fish correspondent Dr. Bubbles for more. Dr. Bubbles: *opens mouth* *closes mouth* *opens mouth*
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Mar 9, 2015 19:09
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Interesting points, Dr. Bubbles. But Mr. River Turtle, a self-described 'deforestation denier' and author of the upcoming book 'A Case for Change: Why Conservation is The Greatest Lie The Woodchuck Ever Told Us", has something else to add. Mr. Turtle? *blinks*
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Mar 9, 2015 19:30
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Wait Wait. Tom, I'm hearing reports that noted Trans-Species Activist Platypus is making zis way to the scene of today's fracas, adding to an already tense situation. We go now to a shaky vine taken by a tree-squirrel who stole some dude's GoPro. We warn you, the footage is raw and graphic.
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Mar 9, 2015 19:35
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Robin, I just got word that the Blue Bird Report over at Fox will be going on hiatus pending Blue's suspension. He has yet to apologize for his controversial tweets, so we'll let you know when we find out more.
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Mar 9, 2015 19:48
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Dire reports form the Left Bank where dozens of otters cannot reach water since beavers built a new 3-foot tall oak dam "for protection" says our reporter.
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Mar 9, 2015 19:58
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They were no angels.
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Mar 9, 2015 20:12
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Streamwide Public Radio is brought to you by the Herman Minnow Wateron Chair, now available in Pebble, Rock, and Twig.
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Mar 9, 2015 20:16
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzOvc4XuFNc https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIcHounLZhY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGhGHxw0mSo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEimM7VkWTs
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Mar 9, 2015 20:19
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The Mainstream Media posted:Hackers have reportedly been creating Internet content that purports to be products of "mainstream" media, but which is in fact artificially produced. The content — photographs and commentary, along with suggestions about how members of the media operate — have been appearing on a popular fringe web "forum" site. Web forums are a form of chat room that are increasingly being abandoned for more modern social media like Twitter, Facebook, and My Space. Evidence of the activity allegedly began to surface earlier today (9 Mar 2015).
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Mar 9, 2015 20:34
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Voices were heard today as far as the other pond, not the one with the algae, the one with the frogs, as the stream today discovered the internet. "The internet? No sir, my grandfather died in a net."
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Mar 9, 2015 23:00
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I don't think I understand this thread
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Mar 9, 2015 23:03
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emfive posted:I don't think I understand this thread
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Mar 9, 2015 23:19
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[slowly]Main stream. Main stream. Main stream. [laughing at own joke] Mainstream, haha.
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Mar 9, 2015 23:21
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Minor crisis today as migrating geese stopping over on the small island just north of the old pipe were heard to refer to the "lamestream media". On further investigation, they were found to be referring to a stream 500 miles south.
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Mar 9, 2015 23:22
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emfive posted:I don't think I understand this thread Streams, fish, water, a bubbling froth of stream of consciousness word salad topically related to water-bodies and anthropomorphized animals, etc, etc
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Mar 9, 2015 23:25
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The eagle alert level has been raised to Log. Stream residents are being asked to hide under the log.
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Mar 9, 2015 23:26
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zeroprime posted:Streams, fish, water, a bubbling froth of stream of consciousness word salad topically related to water-bodies and anthropomorphized animals, etc, etc
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Mar 9, 2015 23:26
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I just figured it out so I'm going to treat myself to some ice cream. God bless you all.
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Mar 9, 2015 23:28
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emfive posted:I just figured it out so I'm going to treat myself to some ice cream.
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Mar 9, 2015 23:29
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FactsAreUseless posted:I liked your post even if it was off theme. It was a good post, and a good pic.
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Mar 9, 2015 23:30
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Come back from a barrage of Apple commercials to talk about the new Apple Watch. Then spend 90 seconds gushing over how thin your phone is compared to the one you owned 3 years ago. Back to Apple commercials.
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Mar 9, 2015 23:35
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20-minute segment commemorating the time somebody threw an apple into the stream, and the apple had a worm in it.
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Mar 9, 2015 23:37
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FactsAreUseless posted:20-minute segment commemorating the time somebody threw an apple into the stream, and the apple had a worm in it. Narrated by David Earthenburrow, brother of deceased Richard.
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Mar 9, 2015 23:39
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Live from the men's toilet down at Aaron's Extravaganza and Live Show. About to get to the source of the main stream.
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Mar 9, 2015 23:40
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Yes, but how will this affect America?
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Mar 9, 2015 23:40
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