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Greetings and salutations, thrill seekers. My name is DrPain, and I will be your host through the foreseeable future. For those of you not familliar with how I got to this point, I invite you to read up on my automotive service career antics in volume one. Tomorrow marks my first day out of the frying pan and into the fire. To bring you all up to speed, when last I was actively posting, the headache of owning an independent family shop and dealing with my curmudgeonly father in law led me to sell the business and go corporate. I kicked around in sales at a Mazda dealership in town attempting to get my foot in the door at their service department, but they suck and it didn't happen. I literally beat down the doors of ever other dealer service department until I could speak with a decision maker, only to be told hundreds of times "Hey, you sound great and we'll keep your resume on file but we are not actively hiring", which I always took as a very polite "WHO LET THIS GUY IN HERE? gently caress OFF." Feeling defeated, I gave into my natural instincts to get back into sales, but not of the automotive variety. For the last month I have found employment on the Las Vegas Stripe selling fine art. It's gay as gently caress. "Yes sir, this piece really brings an air of calm to any room upon which it graces the walls hitherto. Simply gaze upon the silhouette of the treeline in the late summer sunset and be captivated. $6,000 framed and shipped please." When in my head I'm going "WHO THE gently caress SPENDS SIX GRAND ON A loving PHOTOGRAPH YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKER GO BUY LIKE 2 OR 3 CARS OFF CRAIGSLIST AND JUICE THOSE BAD MOTHER FUCKERS UP". But I digress. Alas, my cynicism got the better of me, and a Toyota store in town did indeed keep my resume on file as promised. They called me a week ago and told me a position had just opened up. The service writer position is mine to have.The car gods have heard my years of regular maintenance prayers and have rewarded me ten fold. I feel like building a shrine to our patron saint of horsepower, Carol Shelby, complete with those candles from the hispanic section of VONS, and a pile of broken parts. Let all men bear witness to the power of purr. Anyway, puns and half drunk celebratory rambling aside, I plan to make this thread the 2nd volume of my repository for all the hosed up poo poo I see. Buckle your goddamn seat belts. 
DrPain fucked around with this message at 00:12 on Mar 10, 2015 |
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Mar 10, 2015 00:04
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Boaz MacPhereson posted:Just don't post anything that might get you fired The thought had crossed my mind. In all reality this will probably be the new DrPain thread now with 95% less fun due to corporate oversight and self preservation.  I can still post about meat, though. Check out my celebratory steaks, y'all. 
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Mar 10, 2015 01:49
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Updates... yeah. I suppose you could say that my excitement for the new position was premature, and I probably shouldn't have posted this thread. I'll never be able to capture the same magical tone of my previous thread, for a few reasons. The biggest among them being that I was posting as a way of fondly remembering the daily grind at my plucky little shop. At the dealership, I'd rather forget what goes on, and the last goddamn thing I ever want to do is burn in the memories of the poo poo I deal with by posting about it. There's a pretty steep learning curve when it comes to Dealership Life™ and I'm still getting adjusted, but I have a working knowledge of it enough to pass the sniff test from management. Basically it comes down to, document everything, cover your rear end, and kiss everyone else's. I was already pretty great at the first two, and I am still learning the finer points of the latter. Gone are the days when I could fire a customer, because GOD FORBID their BAD SERVICE  EXPERIENCE be what motivates them to BUY THEIR NEXT TOYOTA SOMEWHERE ELSE. These people aren't looking for skilled labor, they're looking for somebody to make the MAINTENANCE REQUIRED light go away a few times before the TFI light (aka Trade that Fucker In light/check engine light) eventually comes on for an evap leak at 40k. The whole name of the game in service is customer retention. Keep them coming back to THIS dealership, and talking to OUR salespeople while they wait for their prepaid services (which the finance department rolls into your loan and makes interest on). It's quite amazing to witness. Dealership customers are morons. I knew this already, but experiencing it first hand has been surreal. I made more money in April than I did in any of the final few months of keeping the shop afloat. I consider that to be a good start, the potential is there for way more. Customers come in for scheduled services and I lay on some smarmy bullshit to get them to buy a brake flush, or top engine decarb, or whatever, or all of the above. Hot button selling points for us are either MPGs, safety, or longevity, and we have ways to sell each service any of those ways. This is usually done without ever opening the hood and nobody ever calls us out on it. I feel bad sometimes when I get somebody to sign for $500 of upsells then the 27 point inspection turns up a mechanical failure like a water pump or brakes, but it's rare that they can't afford that too. In my defense, the customer absolutely gets every service they pay for, but whether or not it was absolutely necessary as opposed to "recommenced by time/mileage" is never part of the discussion. I have become that which I hated, and it kind of owns.  Last Wednesday I wrote up 32 cars in a single day, and holy gently caress I can't remember what for. It's all a blur. Document everything, because I sure as hell won't remember. At the end of the day, I'm happier working for THE MAN than being THE MAN. Also they have decent benefits like health insurance, which is important now that my wife is pregnant. Oh yeah, I'm gonna be a dad!  Anyway. It's been real AI, I will always fondly remember the days of regaling you with bad photography of my dumpy work, but those days have come to an end. DrPain fucked around with this message at 04:24 on May 28, 2015 |
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May 28, 2015 04:02
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14 INCH SLIT posted:congrats on selling your soul I could rationalize and argue that if I don't take their money on behalf of the machine then someone else will, but yeah, I totally sold out. I haven't done much with the ranger or smoker lately, but I did manage to get Turbo to sit still for half a second.  I'm planning an all day brisket smoker sesh for father's day, pics will be had.
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May 28, 2015 14:36
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