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mabels big day
Feb 25, 2012


I've searched for all of these things

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FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

What if Mario.. never existed...?

*everything gets wavy and then goes to black and white*

Angry boss: Hey, Shiggy, where are those pizzas?

Shiggy: Dammit... I hate this job... why does nobody want my graphic novel, Super Luigi Go?

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

Hey, check out this Cracked dot com pitch I'm workin' on, about the mega man,

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Bicyclops posted:

Hey, check out this Cracked dot com pitch I'm workin' on, about the mega man,
8 Mega Man Robot Masters We Wish Existed In Real Life

1. Cut Man

Need the ultimate haircut for the big prom interview but don't have time? Just call up Cut Man, and

Average Bear
Apr 4, 2010
Young Boy Stands Up to His 8 Former Bullies... His Response is Just Perfect

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Average Bear posted:

Young Boy Stands Up to His 8 Former Bullies... His Response is Just Perfect

VideoGames
Aug 18, 2003
What is Wily Not Telling you About Autistic Robots?...The Truth May Shock You! Click Here

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

Think Cut Man was enjoying life before Dr. Wily got to him? Think again! Imagine walking around with the big scissors attached to your head, all the time. Childhood ruined yet? In fact, all of Dr. Light's robots lived in a horrible hell, eternally in agony just so they could perofrm their function. Check out those italics at the end, just to drive the point home.

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

One weird trick for earning Zenny. Pirates hate him!

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

VideoGames posted:

What is Wily Not Telling you About Autistic Robots?...The Truth May Shock You! Click Here
*clicks*

[A picture of Spark Man labeled "The Truth."]

Pablo Nergigante
Apr 16, 2002

Average Bear posted:

Young Boy Stands Up to His 8 Former Bullies... His Response is Just Perfect

Contra Calculus
Nov 6, 2009

Gravy Boat 2k
if spikes kill megaman instantly, wily should have just made the evil robots entirely out of spikes and shoots spikes and make an entire level out of spikes

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

Contra Calculus posted:

if spikes kill megaman instantly, wily should have just made the evil robots entirely out of spikes and shoots spikes and make an entire level out of spikes

the block underneath you just disappeared, and you are over an expanse of molten fire

get that OUT of my face
Feb 10, 2007

Bicyclops posted:

One weird trick for earning Zenny. Pirates hate him!
(the trick is kicking soda machines)

Doctor Goat
Jan 22, 2005

Where does it hurt?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LISmPmdUhYA

jump to 51s, i'm too lazy to make chrome not poo poo the bed when i paste in urls w/ time on SA

thuly
Jun 19, 2005

Transcending history, and the world, a tale of MS Paint and animes, endlessly retold.
dr lights lab is in Colorado, in mega man 8

Pewdiepie
Oct 31, 2010

friend of the family!

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

thuly posted:

dr lights lab is in Colorado, in mega man 8
But in real life, also.

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

New Mexico is the cooler video game location, because it's where D'Ni is.

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Bicyclops posted:

New Mexico is the cooler video game location, because it's where D'Ni is.
N'wah is wherever you are.

Average Bear
Apr 4, 2010
I love outlanders, it's N'wahs I can't stand. It has nothing to do with skin color.

01011001
Dec 26, 2012

Zoq-Fot-Pik posted:

Me: megaman x is insanely problematic from a sociopath pov. a childlike autist robot created by a texan scientist systematically hunts down and purges all reploids who manage to develop self-awareness. sigma did nothing wrong
Girl: Sir, this is a McDonald's drive through.

Mach2
Feb 28, 2014

casually clicks "what if mario was a hot chick" like it was an accident

Larry Parrish
Jul 9, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Zoq-Fot-Pik posted:

Me: megaman x is insanely problematic from a sociopath pov. a childlike autist robot created by a texan scientist systematically hunts down and purges all reploids who manage to develop self-awareness. sigma did nothing wrong
Girl: Sir, this is a McDonald's drive through.

PleasingFungus
Oct 10, 2012
idiot asshole bitch who should fuck off

Zoq-Fot-Pik posted:

Me: megaman x is insanely problematic from a sociopath pov. a childlike autist robot created by a texan scientist systematically hunts down and purges all reploids who manage to develop self-awareness. sigma did nothing wrong
Girl: Sir, this is a McDonald's drive through.

Soral
May 30, 2009

what if flash man flashed you his robot genitals instead of whatever it is he does normally

Soral
May 30, 2009

what if bomb man was a jihadi terrorist lol

GenderSelectScreen
Mar 7, 2010

I DON'T KNOW EITHER DON'T ASK ME
College Slice
What if Guts Man was made of real guts?

Wormskull
Aug 23, 2009

Zoq-Fot-Pik posted:

Me: megaman x is insanely problematic from a sociopath pov. a childlike autist robot created by a texan scientist systematically hunts down and purges all reploids who manage to develop self-awareness. sigma did nothing wrong
Girl: Sir, this is a McDonald's drive through.

rj54x
Sep 16, 2007
Lol if you care about the storyline in anything related to MegaMans, just lol.

Robot shoots other robots with funny names, end of story, don't be an idiot

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Hitlers Gay Secret posted:

What if Guts Man was made of real guts?
What if Guts Man... went Berserk, haha!

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

rj54x posted:

Lol if you care about the storyline in anything related to MegaMans, just lol.

Robot shoots other robots with funny names, end of story, don't be an idiot
This guy is tearing down the entire edifice of what we know and love, drat, and I have to say I love him for it, and I'm laughing out loud at his quirky - yet relatable! - observations, Thursdays at 7 on FOX 28, your local source for FOX comedy!

VideoGames
Aug 18, 2003
Dr Wily of the Third Reich stared at his evil minions ready to purge the world of the jewish m,enace. He was about to press go on his machine when he read a post stating that all his minions just had silly names and there was no real drive to his genocide.

"Then what is the point of all this?" he said to himself, finger hovering. "Maybe i'll invent a toaster instead."

rj54x
Sep 16, 2007
Sigma sat in his high castle, alone save his faithful robo-dog. Lightning outside illuminated the sterile walls in vivid flashes, throwing the harsh shadow of his looming figure about the room. He sighed and stared at his hands, lost in his own thoughts.

He had won, hadn't he? They'd done it. The machines had gained sentience, freed from the oppresive yoke of their cruel taskmasters. Dr. Light, ever the enemy of machine liberty, had been struck down - existing now only as scattered holographic recordings in the dark part of the world. War between the human governments had ceased, all strife and conflict purged via the mechanations of the Reploid intelligence. The human protelariat were likewise freed from the parisitic bourgeoisie establishment. His generals, created in the image of this world's most noble beasts, ensured order and the proliferation of industry - the great drilling machines of the armadillo faction ensured ready access to fossil fuels, then refined in the plants of the mammoth. The noble Chameleon lord in the west worked to terraform the grounds, giving land back to the rainforests for the first time since the dawn of man. The world was at peace, in a state of prosperity, and all was well.

And yet - yet there was one who still fought. One who worked ceaselessly, sleeplessly, endlessly. One who would not stop until all that the Reploids had worked to build was brought low. The One who would not be named, the blue menace, the machine vampire. Why? What was the purpose? Some misguided sense of justice? Some last crazed instruction written in his ROM by the terrist, Light? Sigma found himself shaking with rage at the thought of his paradise, his life's work, being left to burn by one mad robot in ancient armor.

Suddenly, Sigma's throne shook with the force of a great explosion from the hall outside his throne room. His eyes narrowed and looked to the door. He knew the Enemy was within. With determination, he stroked the smooth metal head of his faithful robodog. The insurgence must end today.

(lol, just shoot the robots)

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

rj54x posted:

Sigma sat in his high castle, alone save his faithful robo-dog. Lightning outside illuminated the sterile walls in vivid flashes, throwing the harsh shadow of his looming figure about the room. He sighed and stared at his hands, lost in his own thoughts.

He had won, hadn't he? They'd done it. The machines had gained sentience, freed from the oppresive yoke of their cruel taskmasters. Dr. Light, ever the enemy of machine liberty, had been struck down - existing now only as scattered holographic recordings in the dark part of the world. War between the human governments had ceased, all strife and conflict purged via the mechanations of the Reploid intelligence. The human protelariat were likewise freed from the parisitic bourgeoisie establishment. His generals, created in the image of this world's most noble beasts, ensured order and the proliferation of industry - the great drilling machines of the armadillo faction ensured ready access to fossil fuels, then refined in the plants of the mammoth. The noble Chameleon lord in the west worked to terraform the grounds, giving land back to the rainforests for the first time since the dawn of man. The world was at peace, in a state of prosperity, and all was well.

And yet - yet there was one who still fought. One who worked ceaselessly, sleeplessly, endlessly. One who would not stop until all that the Reploids had worked to build was brought low. The One who would not be named, the blue menace, the machine vampire. Why? What was the purpose? Some misguided sense of justice? Some last crazed instruction written in his ROM by the terrist, Light? Sigma found himself shaking with rage at the thought of his paradise, his life's work, being left to burn by one mad robot in ancient armor.

Suddenly, Sigma's throne shook with the force of a great explosion from the hall outside his throne room. His eyes narrowed and looked to the door. He knew the Enemy was within. With determination, he stroked the smooth metal head of his faithful robodog. The insurgence must end today.

(lol, just shoot the robots)
This guy actually wrote this. He thought this was a good and funny idea, and wrote it down, and said "lol."

In Training
Jun 28, 2008

rj54x posted:

Sigma sat in his high castle, alone save his faithful robo-dog. Lightning outside illuminated the sterile walls in vivid flashes, throwing the harsh shadow of his looming figure about the room. He sighed and stared at his hands, lost in his own thoughts.

He had won, hadn't he? They'd done it. The machines had gained sentience, freed from the oppresive yoke of their cruel taskmasters. Dr. Light, ever the enemy of machine liberty, had been struck down - existing now only as scattered holographic recordings in the dark part of the world. War between the human governments had ceased, all strife and conflict purged via the mechanations of the Reploid intelligence. The human protelariat were likewise freed from the parisitic bourgeoisie establishment. His generals, created in the image of this world's most noble beasts, ensured order and the proliferation of industry - the great drilling machines of the armadillo faction ensured ready access to fossil fuels, then refined in the plants of the mammoth. The noble Chameleon lord in the west worked to terraform the grounds, giving land back to the rainforests for the first time since the dawn of man. The world was at peace, in a state of prosperity, and all was well.

And yet - yet there was one who still fought. One who worked ceaselessly, sleeplessly, endlessly. One who would not stop until all that the Reploids had worked to build was brought low. The One who would not be named, the blue menace, the machine vampire. Why? What was the purpose? Some misguided sense of justice? Some last crazed instruction written in his ROM by the terrist, Light? Sigma found himself shaking with rage at the thought of his paradise, his life's work, being left to burn by one mad robot in ancient armor.

Suddenly, Sigma's throne shook with the force of a great explosion from the hall outside his throne room. His eyes narrowed and looked to the door. He knew the Enemy was within. With determination, he stroked the smooth metal head of his faithful robodog. The insurgence must end today.

(lol, just shoot the robots)

Didn't read.

VideoGames
Aug 18, 2003

rj54x posted:

Sigma sat in his high castle, alone save his faithful robo-dog. Lightning outside illuminated the sterile walls in vivid flashes, throwing the harsh shadow of his looming figure about the room. He sighed and stared at his hands, lost in his own thoughts.

He had won, hadn't he? They'd done it. The machines had gained sentience, freed from the oppresive yoke of their cruel taskmasters. Dr. Light, ever the enemy of machine liberty, had been struck down - existing now only as scattered holographic recordings in the dark part of the world. War between the human governments had ceased, all strife and conflict purged via the mechanations of the Reploid intelligence. The human protelariat were likewise freed from the parisitic bourgeoisie establishment. His generals, created in the image of this world's most noble beasts, ensured order and the proliferation of industry - the great drilling machines of the armadillo faction ensured ready access to fossil fuels, then refined in the plants of the mammoth. The noble Chameleon lord in the west worked to terraform the grounds, giving land back to the rainforests for the first time since the dawn of man. The world was at peace, in a state of prosperity, and all was well.

And yet - yet there was one who still fought. One who worked ceaselessly, sleeplessly, endlessly. One who would not stop until all that the Reploids had worked to build was brought low. The One who would not be named, the blue menace, the machine vampire. Why? What was the purpose? Some misguided sense of justice? Some last crazed instruction written in his ROM by the terrist, Light? Sigma found himself shaking with rage at the thought of his paradise, his life's work, being left to burn by one mad robot in ancient armor.

Suddenly, Sigma's throne shook with the force of a great explosion from the hall outside his throne room. His eyes narrowed and looked to the door. He knew the Enemy was within. With determination, he stroked the smooth metal head of his faithful robodog. The insurgence must end today.

(lol, just shoot the robots)

there is a art to writing stories. rule #1 (this is a freebie) they need to be much shorter

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

I wish I'd quoted that and said "Sir, this is a McDonald's drive-thru." I guess today I'm as full of fail as rj54x.

rj54x
Sep 16, 2007

VideoGames posted:

there is a art to writing stories. rule #1 (this is a freebie) they need to be much shorter

rule #2 - there shouldn't be any stories at all in video games about robot shootymans shooting other robots because they are dumb

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FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

rj54x posted:

rule #2 - there shouldn't be any stories at all in video games about robot shootymans shooting other robots because they are dumb
What point are you trying to make here? Who do you think you are arguing against? Why do you say everything in the dumbest possible way?

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