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Ocean Book
Sep 27, 2010

:yum: - hi
drat, you sound like an idiot op

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A SWEATY FATBEARD
Oct 6, 2012

:buddy: GAY 4 ORGANS :buddy:
Well the guy from the apt called me up this morning (at 5:30) and gave me 100 euros which is half the rent and said that hes gonna give me the rest in a few days. Even better, tommorrow I'm ostensibly getting some money from my sketchy friend who lives next door. Not sure how much hes gonna fork over but at this point I need every coin to make ends meet.

How do I not burn this money on beer&cigs in the following days? Now that's something to think about.

The source of the stink was my nylon vest which wasn't washed since 2009. Got some puke on that fucker so I guess it's going down!

kedo
Nov 27, 2007

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

How do I not burn this money on beer&cigs in the following days? Now that's something to think about.

Spend it on liquor and weed.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

Well the guy from the apt called me up this morning (at 5:30) and gave me 100 euros which is half the rent and said that hes gonna give me the rest in a few days. Even better, tommorrow I'm ostensibly getting some money from my sketchy friend who lives next door. Not sure how much hes gonna fork over but at this point I need every coin to make ends meet.

How do I not burn this money on beer&cigs in the following days? Now that's something to think about.

The source of the stink was my nylon vest which wasn't washed since 2009. Got some puke on that fucker so I guess it's going down!

post pics of said vest

EMILY BLUNTS
Jan 1, 2005

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

How do I not burn this money on beer&cigs in the following days? Now that's something to think about.

you could give that to the power compnay.

then you only need $200 more!

various cheeses
Jan 24, 2013

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

How do I not burn this money on beer&cigs in the following days? Now that's something to think about.

Try not being a total fuckup I guess would be a good start.

Failing that, speak to your local organized crime goon and see if they'll float you some money in exchange for a yet to be named favor in the future.

Arnold of Soissons
Mar 4, 2011

by XyloJW

kedo posted:

Spend it on liquor and weed.

:agreed:

BoobFarts
Apr 14, 2014

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

How do I not burn this money on beer&cigs in the following days? Now that's something to think about.

Put it in a savings account. So you can't spend it with a card.

Do you have DVDs, electronics, computer parts, other things that you can sell?

Worse case scenario is you not being able to internet for a week or so.You could take a laptop or other device to a mates house and use their wifi. Or just live in a McDonalds (they have free wifi).

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)
I dunno man. go to church

ediment
Aug 2, 2007

Don't chain me down with your manners!
Biperiden is nothing like ambien.

Get your facts straight before you do drugs, human being.

mrhotdogvendor
May 28, 2006
very tired hispanic
Can I paypal you the exact cost of a pack of cigs?

Zogo
Jul 29, 2003

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gH476CxJxfg

EMILY BLUNTS
Jan 1, 2005

buy $50 of hot dogs
and $50 of buns

Pops Ghostly
Dec 20, 2014

by Ralp

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

Fuuuck. I'm broke. Spent the last $4 on a pack of cigs which I burned off a few hours ago. Then my friend brought me more cigs which I'm smoking now but I'm out of beer GODDAMNIT.

What happened is that one of my tenants hasn't paid his rent this month (haven't seen this one coming, really) and I ended up having to live on $200 for the past month, the most of which was wisely invested in beer and smokes. Haven't paid any of the utilities and the power company is getting real antsy about my $300 debt for some reason (I'm only about two months late)

So this is the prologue. I need to tell you more stuff tho.

I thought that hey, maybe I could use the ole "get a job you loser" rationale and I went out and got a loving job.

Was supposed to start working a week ago.

However.

I got high as a kite on biperiden the night before (it's a deliriant, think "Ambien the Unholy") and wrecked my poo poo real good. I consumed a heroic amount of pills, lost my mind and started ingesting every chemical in the apartment I could lay my paws upon. I ate all of my antidepressants but ended up chewing them, and, noticing they taste bad, spit them out the apartment window and onto the downstairs people's laundry.

At one point I accidentally some dish soap. This resulted in violent puking and not much later, a foamy poop volcano.

I passed out in a pool of puke at this point. The puke has soaked into the hardwood floor and now the apartment smells like a filthy litterbox containing cat chunks and rotting watermelon. I mopped the floor this afternoon but the whole place still stinks. I may have puked in a mystery location so in the morning imma get on all fours and search for more puke.

Now, what happened is that I poo poo my pants on the day I was supposed to start working (at a paper mill), and the lady from the factory was not impressed when I told her what happened - it was one of those moronically honest moments when you start talking about puke (and soap) to a random stranger.

I had essentially fired myself right on the spot, without even having to leave my place. This is basement dwelling 2.0.

Now I need to find $300 so I won't be disconnected from the Internet due to a profound lack of electricity. Any ideas (preferrably something that doesn't involve a lot of work, such as leaving my room etc.)

If you are in the Tampa area, we can work something out. Let me know.

KaiserSchnitzel
Feb 23, 2003

Hey baby I think we Havel lot in common
I love the actual advice given in this thread, as if any of it will be taken by Mr. Responsible Euro 2015.

Hey OP if you got 100 Euros and you are getting another 100 Euros in a few days, you'll only need like $86 at today's exchange rate to come up with that $300 you need. Although I am having a little trouble figuring out why you pay your power bill in dollars instead of Euros.

But you live in an apartment and you have a renter living in another apartment that doesn't pay his rent on time. Basically I'm trying to figure out why the gently caress you have an investment property and can't even pay your own power bill. I choose not to question the reasoning behind even wanting to take enough biperiden to make you want to chew up your antidepressants and drink a bottle of soap and then poo poo your pants and lie in a pool of your own vomit the night before you start a job at a loving paper mill of all places. That's squarely within the territory of things that don't need to be explained in order to provide you advice. Now, if you own a 2-flat and the downstairs people are your tenants and you spit your antidepressants onto their laundry AND this happens to be the tenant late on rent owed to you, you're just 100% more unsuited to homeownership because you don't collect enough rent from your tenant to even cover the loving power bill.

Seriously, you have two choices here: FIRST CHOICE, raise the rent on the downstairs unit and get somebody in there that can actually let you keep your drug habits in equilibrium; SECOND CHOICE, sell the house and maybe move to some socialist paradise country that takes care of all of your nonsense problems for you.

Veskit
Mar 2, 2005

I love capitalism!! DM me for the best investing advice!
I thought this asshat was sober.

EMILY BLUNTS
Jan 1, 2005

Veskit posted:

I thought this asshat was sober.

that's what he thought too, and then the phenazepam wore off :v:

Beep Street
Aug 22, 2006

Chemotherapy and marijuana go together like apple pie and Chevrolet.
This goon is stuck deep down the well, like chilean miners depth.

The only advice I can think of is go to London and beg. And use biocarb of soda to help with the vomit smell on the floors.

various cheeses
Jan 24, 2013

maybe you can get a job as a science fair volcano OP

Smash it Smash hit
Dec 30, 2009

prettay, prettay
why don't you sell both your current properties and move into your late grandpa/uncle/whatever's house and resume his hoarding of nat geo?

he seemed just as crazy but atleast he had a plan

Arnold of Soissons
Mar 4, 2011

by XyloJW

Pops Ghostly posted:

If you are in the Tampa area, we can work something out. Let me know.

lmao OP John Pop will happily pimp you out and let you keep 300 of the dollars he earns off your rear end

superv0zz
Jun 24, 2006

Touch it.

Hood Ornament posted:

Suck a couple dicks.

Came here to suggest sucking dicks.

You can do it, OP!

pop fly to McGillicutty
Feb 2, 2004

A peckish little mouse!

Hollismason posted:

You said you didn't want to leave your apartment so I would suggest using Craigslist to say that you are M4M then when they get there explain you will gladly take it up the ole poop volcanofor them to pay your electric bill.

This way you don't have to leave your apartment.

Yep. This is the best answer.

pop fly to McGillicutty
Feb 2, 2004

A peckish little mouse!

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:



How do I not burn this money on beer&cigs in the following days? Now that's something to think about.



By being a responsible human being instead of what you actually are. So basically, you can't.

pop fly to McGillicutty
Feb 2, 2004

A peckish little mouse!

Pops Ghostly posted:

If you are in the Tampa area, we can work something out. Let me know.

I am. What's up? Wait, can we just be friends and play mortal kombat instead of sex?

EMILY BLUNTS
Jan 1, 2005

EMILY BLUNTS posted:

buy $50 of hot dogs
and $50 of buns

I want to revise this to include pickles, but I'm too lazy to redo the math and you're probably neck deep in fresh empties full of cigarette butts

A SWEATY FATBEARD
Oct 6, 2012

:buddy: GAY 4 ORGANS :buddy:

ediment posted:

Biperiden is nothing like ambien.

Get your facts straight before you do drugs, human being.

In sense that smaller amounts produce an intense orgasmic high and if (when) you go overboard it causes you to lose your mind and do strikingly stupid things you'll have no recollection of, then yes, biperiden is strikingly similar to zolpidem.

My old apartment was affectionatelly known as "the crack den" and the new one is located in the "roach tower" but maybe I should call it biperi-den.

KaiserSchnitzel posted:

Now, if you own a 2-flat and the downstairs people are your tenants and you spit your antidepressants onto their laundry AND this happens to be the tenant late on rent owed to you,

The concept of "downstairs" is relatively moot in the place where my flats are located. (posting a 1969 rock music video instead of hurling moldy potatoes out of my window to show you how high up I'm living)
I have nothing with the downstairs people, they're just moderately unfortunate that a lit ciggy-butt flicker moved into a flat above them.

pop fly to McGillicutty
Feb 2, 2004

A peckish little mouse!
Buy an ashtray you loving pig

trickybiscuits
Jan 13, 2008

yospos

KaiserSchnitzel posted:

I choose not to question the reasoning behind even wanting to take enough biperiden to make you want to chew up your antidepressants and drink a bottle of soap and then poo poo your pants and lie in a pool of your own vomit the night before you start a job at a loving paper mill of all places.
I am amused by KaiserSchnitzel's accidental indignation regarding paper mills.

EMILY BLUNTS
Jan 1, 2005

i think it's mostly that a paper mill is full of machines that want to kill you and will do so in a split second

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo
Drug dealers make money a lot I here.

EMILY BLUNTS
Jan 1, 2005

Forget the hot dogs and buns, actually
just do $100 of pickles and eat them all on youtube

Arnold of Soissons
Mar 4, 2011

by XyloJW
Pro Youtube personalities never have trouble keeping the lights on OP

tsa
Feb 3, 2014

ediment posted:

Biperiden is nothing like ambien.

Get your facts straight before you do drugs, human being.

Honestly :lol: if either of them is used to get high, might as well start smoking some nutmeg at that point.

Sigma-X
Jun 17, 2005

EMILY BLUNTS posted:

Forget the hot dogs and buns, actually
just do $100 of pickles and eat them all on youtube

If you eat $100 of pickles on youtube, providing documentation of the pickle cost and video documentation of each pickle being consumed, repeating at least 10 times during the video "I make bad life choices with my money, I am eating my rent money in pickles instead of saving it for rent." I will paypal you or the paypal address of your choosing $150USD.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

Sigma-X posted:

If you eat $100 of pickles on youtube, providing documentation of the pickle cost and video documentation of each pickle being consumed, repeating at least 10 times during the video "I make bad life choices with my money, I am eating my rent money in pickles instead of saving it for rent." I will paypal you or the paypal address of your choosing $150USD.

Problem solved

EMILY BLUNTS
Jan 1, 2005

A gallon-sized jar of whole pickles is something to behold. The jar is the size of a small aquarium. The fat green pickles, floating in swampy juice, look reptilian, their shapes exaggerated by the glass. It weighs 12 pounds, too big to carry with one hand. The gallon jar of pickles is a display of abundance and excess; it is entrancing, and also vaguely unsettling. This is the product that Wal-Mart fell in love with: Vlasic's gallon jar of pickles.

Wal-Mart priced it at $2.97

Arnold of Soissons
Mar 4, 2011

by XyloJW
OP eat 33 gallons of pickles on youtube

Sigma-X
Jun 17, 2005
I'm OK if the OP buys some fancy gourmet pickles that cost $20 each, or if he spreads his consumption over a number of days. The important thing is the bulletproof documentation of the expenditure and the recurring theme of confirming to the viewer that he makes bad life decisions.

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Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

Sigma-X posted:

I'm OK if the OP buys some fancy gourmet pickles that cost $20 each, or if he spreads his consumption over a number of days. The important thing is the bulletproof documentation of the expenditure and the recurring theme of confirming to the viewer that he makes bad life decisions.

Let's let op respond. He can make worse choices here.

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