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Cursed Lumberjack
Nov 14, 2006
A rather unfortunate logger indeed.
It's weird I hadn't really considered that one of my old high school friends is literally an American version of sweaty fatbeard. Its the same kind of self-deprecating, "Haha yeah my druggy brain is just so feeble lol, can't resist re-upping my doses and taking strange research chemicals, ah well, that's just how it is!" where it seems like the mindset needed to get help for themselves is just so far out in the distance it might as well be unreachable.

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Prawned
Oct 25, 2010

I don't live in America, but drinking beer at any temperature other than Ice Cold TM is a crime against humanity.

Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011

All new" Rings of Fire"

Prawned posted:

I don't live in America, but drinking beer at any temperature other than Ice Cold TM is a crime against humanity.

Thank you

bloodsacrifice
Apr 21, 2015

by Ralp

Cursed Lumberjack posted:

Do not tell Americans that a large part of the world doesn't drink beer cold.

It could cause serious psychological damage.

well yea they're all peasants and ex serfs

teleolurian
Jan 6, 2015

Americans invented selling ice to people, we have a business to protect

Chicken Butt
Oct 27, 2010

Lichy posted:

I live in Russia and I don't do half the stupid poo poo this Croatian crybaby does jesus

Even if you're only doing slightly less than half of what the OP is doing, you should still check yourself into rehab immediately.

Bulgogi Hoagie
Jun 1, 2012

We

Chicken Butt posted:

Even if you're only doing slightly less than half of what the OP is doing, you should still check yourself into rehab immediately.

that would be good advice if I were an American poor; yet I am rich

Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011

All new" Rings of Fire"
Are we talking eastern European rich ie you don't live in a cave? Just trying to get some perspective here

Yolo Swaggins Esq
Jan 29, 2015

oOoOoh 👀 a dapper little mouse🎩 🐀🕺🏻🕺🏻 a dAppER MoUSe🧐🐀 🚶🏿‍♂️🚶🏿‍♂️it’s a 🎩DAPPER mouse 👀✔️🐀🥾🏃🏽‍♂️🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻🏃🏽‍♂️🐀💥

Captain Yossarian posted:

Are we talking eastern European rich ie you don't live in a cave? Just trying to get some perspective here

I'm imagining Russian rich being something like being able to drink vodka with an only half chance of blinding you and owning multiple sweatpants/hoodie combos.

bloodsacrifice
Apr 21, 2015

by Ralp

Lichy posted:

that would be good advice if I were an American poor; yet I am rich

Does this mean you have your beets delivered?

Chicken Butt
Oct 27, 2010

bloodsacrifice posted:

Does this mean you have your beets delivered?

He has an HD dashcam.

Apprentice Dick
Dec 1, 2009

Yolo Swaggins Esq posted:

I'm imagining Russian rich being something like being able to drink vodka with an only half chance of blinding you and [b]owning multiple sweatpants/hoodie combos.[\b]

He will have you know that they are the finest Adidas combos, no knockoffs here.

A SWEATY FATBEARD
Oct 6, 2012

:buddy: GAY 4 ORGANS :buddy:
I have some updates.

1) I still haven't got any money from the tenant. Nor the tax return yet. Not everything is bad though; the tenant found a much better job in an upscale café bar and he's starting a week from now. From now on, his salary will be paid on time, but he won't see any money before July when he'll get his first paycheck. Till then, we'll have to make do with what little money we're getting from friends and family. Neither he nor I are used to living on borrowed money. It's extremely embarrassing to us.
The other tenant is working for the same company (it's a chain of cafes) and he told me that his salary was never late. Hurray I guess?

2) I have a new neighbor in the Roach Tower, and he's a stoner hippie. A few days ago he invited me over to his apartment for some rakia and he even sang me a song, accompanied by acoustic guitar. He seriously thought that I'd complain about the noise - the Roach tower is built pretty darn well and I honestly wouldn't have known about his music if he hadn't played in front of me.
I gave him some money for 1KG of tobacco, because rolling your own cigs is a Thing in Croatia - it's much cheaper than bank-busting factory made cigs and I need to pinch every penny at this point.

3) I told my psychiatrist about the little "problem" I'm having with booze, and she grew indignant on me and said that I should be paying for cancer treatment out of my own pocket. Since my posts inevitably get reposted in the GBS TCC megathread, now is the good time to mention the old Stigma about drugs. My shrink doesn't even know about my drug usage and I may or may not have used the "booze" as an euphemism for mindfucking drugs. Anyways, she recommended rehab and I agreed. I haven't had a drink for over a week and I'm jonesing to high hell.

With the poo poo luck I'm having lately, I'll probably get my tax returns couple of weeks from now... when it won't matter much anymore. Also this month I'll be getting my regular onco checkup. Had a MRI scan last week and I'm getting results tomorrow... I'm sorta antsy about this.

Sigma-X
Jun 17, 2005
You shouldn't be hiding your usage of mind altering substances from the person who proscribes you other mind altering substances that can have negative effects when mixed with mind altering substances.

but again, I must encourage you to do more drugs and post the stories.

vyst
Aug 25, 2009



Chicken Butt posted:

He has an HD dashcam.

Louis Vuitton track suit

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

📈📊🍪😋



He hires someone to jump into windshields for him

Tolkien minority
Feb 14, 2012


i very much doubt anyone in this thread is cooler or gooder than fatbeard

akulanization
Dec 21, 2013

Profondo Rosso posted:

i very much doubt anyone is cooler or gooder than fatbeard

oTHi
Feb 28, 2011

This post is brought to you by Molten Boron.
Nobody doesn't like Molten Boron!.
Lipstick Apathy
How much is 1kg of tobacco? That seems like an incredibly poor choice of purchase for someone having to borrow money from family/friends.

A SWEATY FATBEARD
Oct 6, 2012

:buddy: GAY 4 ORGANS :buddy:

oTHi posted:

How much is 1kg of tobacco? That seems like an incredibly poor choice of purchase for someone having to borrow money from family/friends.

That is six weeks of heavy chain smoking for $18 - a bargain. A regular pack of cigs costs $3 and when I'm in the right mood, I can polish off two packs a day.
At this time, until I get this tobacco, I have no option but to bum on the bus station. I pretend to be waiting for the bus and "incidentally" kindly ask people if they could spare a cig until the bus comes. If your pro-bum shtick is nice enough, there is an 80% chance that you'll get your cig for free.

Suspicious Lump
Mar 11, 2004

oTHi posted:

How much is 1kg of tobacco? That seems like an incredibly poor choice of purchase for someone having to borrow money from family/friends.
Nah its good with money, now he can smoke instead of eat.

Sigma-X
Jun 17, 2005
do more hard drugs and cook more furniture please

akulanization
Dec 21, 2013

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

That is six weeks of heavy chain smoking for $18 - a bargain. A regular pack of cigs costs $3 and when I'm in the right mood, I can polish off two packs a day.
At this time, until I get this tobacco, I have no option but to bum on the bus station. I pretend to be waiting for the bus and "incidentally" kindly ask people if they could spare a cig until the bus comes. If your pro-bum shtick is nice enough, there is an 80% chance that you'll get your cig for free.

u have it figured out. i think u should reward yourself with some deliriant.

Jeza
Feb 13, 2011

The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.
how u a croat lerned english?

fuck off Batman
Oct 14, 2013

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah!


Profondo Rosso posted:

i very much doubt anyone in this thread is cooler or gooder than fatbeard

bloodsacrifice
Apr 21, 2015

by Ralp

Profondo Rosso posted:

i very much doubt anyone in this thread is cooler or gooder than fatbeard

I have to admit that he puts more effort into whatever it is that he does than I ever have at anything

Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011

All new" Rings of Fire"

bloodsacrifice posted:

I have to admit that he puts more effort into whatever it is that he does than I ever have at anything

Same. Like I am much more successful and make more money etc, but I freely admit I'm not nearly as interesting and God drat does he love drugs and getting drugs and being committed to living in squalor.

Cursed Lumberjack
Nov 14, 2006
A rather unfortunate logger indeed.

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

I gave him some money for 1KG of tobacco, because rolling your own cigs is a Thing in Croatia - it's much cheaper than bank-busting factory made cigs and I need to pinch every penny at this point.

There are a lot of funny things about fatbeards posts but probably my favorite is the one, both baffling and amusing in that he seems to think other countries couldn't conceive of this phenomenon.

Just a heads up though, over 2 pounds of tobacco is an absurd amount to buy at once and unless you have great vacuum sealing and moisture control, 90% of it will be hosed within a couple weeks. I hope you got a good deal on it, because you'll be able to use a tenth of it before it goes off. Then again, somehow I doubt you are a discerning smoker though, so no problems there.

Cursed Lumberjack
Nov 14, 2006
A rather unfortunate logger indeed.
Oh one good thing about having 2 pounds of tobacco taking up space in your apartment is that it is an excellent way to kill roaches. Unfortunately, it means you will probably need to pick dead roaches out of your tobacco before rolling your cigarettes.

Jeza
Feb 13, 2011

The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

Cursed Lumberjack posted:

Oh one good thing about having 2 pounds of tobacco taking up space in your apartment is that it is an excellent way to kill roaches. Unfortunately, it means you will probably need to pick dead roaches out of your tobacco before rolling your cigarettes.

There's good eatin' on those roaches.

teleolurian
Jan 6, 2015

Cursed Lumberjack posted:

Oh one good thing about having 2 pounds of tobacco taking up space in your apartment is that it is an excellent way to kill roaches. Unfortunately, it means you will probably need to pick dead roaches out of your tobacco before rolling your cigarettes.

Smoke roachy cigarettes to cook the delicious roach meat that you can then eat

Just keep whispering "crunchy shrimp cocktail" to yourself

Chicken Butt
Oct 27, 2010

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

That is six weeks of heavy chain smoking for $18 - a bargain. A regular pack of cigs costs $3 and when I'm in the right mood, I can polish off two packs a day.

Didn't you almost die of cancer ... or am I thinking of someone else?

Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011

All new" Rings of Fire"

Chicken Butt posted:

Didn't you almost die of cancer ... or am I thinking of someone else?

No it was him

akulanization
Dec 21, 2013

Chicken Butt posted:

Didn't you almost die of cancer ... or am I thinking of someone else?

uhhh i dont know if u no how cancer works, but op beat it and thus is now immune. its like chickenpox.

false flag post-op
May 13, 2009

Enjoy Every Sandvich
Wow! Yet again your faith in humanity and your tenant allows someone to not pay you. I'm not going to go through and re-quote every time this has happened before, but at this point you are a schmuck and I would be glad to be your tenant. I mean, things worked out before but gently caress, stop updating us with who is taking advantage of you because it is painful to hear you talk about "well, he will pay me wenever, meanwhile my own power will be shut off and I'm gonna get hosed UP"

Grow a loving spine, because you are your own worst enemy and DON'T EVEN START WITH HOW BAD IT IS THERE because you are going to die poor, hungry, and codependant. Possibly also high as hell which is the least of your worries.

A SWEATY FATBEARD
Oct 6, 2012

:buddy: GAY 4 ORGANS :buddy:

Warren Zevon posted:

Wow! Yet again your faith in humanity and your tenant allows someone to not pay you.

Well, the kid is only a month late with his rent. I'm not gonna go Hitler on his rear end over $200.
He's been at my place for about eight months now and he has a pretty solid track record - this is in fact the first time he's been decidedly late with rent - and it's outta his hands anyway since he didn't get paid for his work at the cafe.

I am not going to allow this to spiral out of control like I did with Dad the dad tenant from over a year ago.

By the way, I'm using drugs but all of those are prescribed to me - it could be said that I'm using my scripts creatively. In fact I have a script for joose but I'm not using it since loving around with benzos can be pretty dangerous, especially since I can't be trusted around pills.

akulanization
Dec 21, 2013

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

By the way, I'm using drugs but all of those are prescribed to me - it could be said that I'm using my scripts creatively. In fact I have a script for joose but I'm not using it since loving around with benzos can be pretty dangerous, especially since I can't be trusted around pills.

this is the best plan, please buy a flammable chair or two, tia!

Sigma-X
Jun 17, 2005

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

Well, the kid is only a month late with his rent. I'm not gonna go Hitler on his rear end over $200.
He's been at my place for about eight months now and he has a pretty solid track record - this is in fact the first time he's been decidedly late with rent - and it's outta his hands anyway since he didn't get paid for his work at the cafe.

I am not going to allow this to spiral out of control like I did with Dad the dad tenant from over a year ago.

By the way, I'm using drugs but all of those are prescribed to me - it could be said that I'm using my scripts creatively. In fact I have a script for joose but I'm not using it since loving around with benzos can be pretty dangerous, especially since I can't be trusted around pills.

cook more furniture

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

📈📊🍪😋



Still giggling over the way you worded "cooking the chair" earlier

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Parts Kit
Jun 9, 2006

durr
i have a hole in my head
durr

Data Graham posted:

Still giggling over the way you worded "cooking the chair" earlier
Next he needs to saute a settee.

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