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A SWEATY FATBEARD
Oct 6, 2012

:buddy: GAY 4 ORGANS :buddy:
Update: My new friend didn't screw me over! Tobacco is very much here, I'm gonna split up these fishy looking bags into smaller baggies, seal them and stuff the freezer with them. I'm more worried about my tobacco losing moisture than the thing catching mold (I was once stuck with a pound of moldy tobacco... smoking the fucker was not very pleasant.) The apartment now smells like nice fresh tobacco, and the stuff I got is really good, I dare say better than factory cigs.



And for the naysayers who don't believe I have cancer, here are some MRI pictures from the penultimate scan:



Yesterday I got the results from the latest MRI scan, and the news are really reassuring: No new mets, the highlited lymph node hasn't grown at all; it's either dormant or dead altogether. FFS I am cured. :toot:

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Einsteins Kegels
Dec 25, 2005

by R. Guyovich
lol

Yolo Swaggins Esq
Jan 29, 2015

oOoOoh 👀 a dapper little mouse🎩 🐀🕺🏻🕺🏻 a dAppER MoUSe🧐🐀 🚶🏿‍♂️🚶🏿‍♂️it’s a 🎩DAPPER mouse 👀✔️🐀🥾🏃🏽‍♂️🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻🏃🏽‍♂️🐀💥
You should celebrate by doing more drugs and frying up some furniture.

bloodsacrifice
Apr 21, 2015

by Ralp
Remind me if I get cancer to poison my body with mind loving hallucinogenics and chainsmoking.

Jeek
Feb 15, 2012

Yolo Swaggins Esq posted:

You should celebrate by doing more drugs and frying up some furniture.
That's not nearly enough. Look at what the OP said:

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

In fact I have a script for joose

The obvious way to celebrate is to get joosed, buy a grand piano or three then burn everything up. :getin:

A SWEATY FATBEARD
Oct 6, 2012

:buddy: GAY 4 ORGANS :buddy:
An update!

The kid paid his rent, he still hadn't gotten his first paycheck yet, the money I got was borrowed and it was issued in Swiss francs for some reason. Nevermind, the money I got covered ALL of my bills and I was even left with something like $80. Since I'm a pretty frugal dude, this money will last me a LONG time - I have stockpiles of food in my apartment and this $80 will go towards pizza and beer.

The kid gave me a baggy of beans because he knows I'm a bean freak. And I even got a hug for being patient and not going Hitler on his rear end.

I celebrated the occasion with a little bit of Biperiden (oh yeah, I'm at it again). This time nothing dramatic happened - I didn't OD but I apparently did some sleepwalking around the flat, and I remember giving a lecture on building methods and concrete to some mysterious entity which would disappear behind my back mid-sentence. I remember speaking in English to my space visitor, and when he'd disappear, I would look around the apartment for him, only to realize that there wasn't anyone in the apartment in the first place and that I'm talking to myself like an idiot. Then I'd retire to bed to sleep it off because I was actually aware that I'm high as gently caress only to get up 15 minutes later and repeat the whole escapade.

That was the good news. The bad news is that I might get sued over the "crack den" apartment I sold two years ago to a guy named Nicholas. A few days ago he accused ME of tampering with the electricity meter - the seal on the fusebox has been tampered with and he accused me of stealing electricity. He also told me that I have to pay him 5000€ or I'm gonna get sued. This number was quite obviously pulled out of his rear end so I got high and went to the police to report what was a textbook example of extortion. The inspector told me that Nicholas is completely full of poo poo and that I owe him nothing - ESPECIALLY since two years have passed since I left the Crackden and anyone, and I mean anyone could have tampered with the meter during my absence. Besides, if your intent is to steal electricity, tampering with the seal on the meter is absolutely the last thing you need to do.
When I told him that I got the cops involved, Nicholas had a sudden change of heart and he said that "we'll work out something".

Nicholas has absolutely nothing on me. The most probable explanation is that the construction workers Nicholas hired accidentally damaged the seal. This sounds a lot like the telephone incident in the apartment I bought in 2009 - there was a working landline phone in the apartment and some of the workers apparently called one of those "fortune telling" hotlines and racked up a $450 bill. I couldn't prove who was responsible for the damage so I had no other option but to pay this bill to the phone company. gently caress.

Not everything is bad though. As far as the apartments I own are concerned, Nicholas and I are about to strike a deal about lifetime financial support - he'll be paying me $150 every month and I'll leave him my Roach tower studio when I finally kick the bucket. $150 is a LOT of money in Croatia. Hell, if this deal goes through, I'll have $600 at my disposal every month, and that is a lot more than what I was earning back in the warehouse. I think this is a smart thing to do, especially when you consider my health situation - the cancer is dormant at the moment but the bloodwork revealed that my liver is shot to pieces - years upon years of booze and drugs have taken their toll. Besides, being the richest corpse at the graveyard is retarded - what would the headstone say; Here lies Fatbeard, he died with $150,000 on his hands?

Jeza
Feb 13, 2011

The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.
Nicholas is going to kill you fatbeard

Suspicious Lump
Mar 11, 2004

Jeza posted:

Nicholas is going to kill you fatbeard
....dude he is totally going to kill you.

Hey last time you posted some pictures of war bunkers around your place. Any more cool pics? Even if it's of your current surroundings I'd love to see Crotia from your point of via. Next time can you go out and take a few pics during your daily routine.

Veskit
Mar 2, 2005

I love capitalism!! DM me for the best investing advice!

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

I celebrated the occasion with a little bit of Biperiden (oh yeah, I'm at it again).

What would you rate it now?

Chicken Butt
Oct 27, 2010

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

so I got high and went to the police

Your decision-making process continues to mystify me

... but in an entertaining, Hunter S Thompsonesque way, from a safe distance.

Seriously, though, get off the drugs, alcohol, and cigs. You are never going to be the richest guy in the graveyard, but you can at least avoid going there for a while longer if you stop ingesting every mind-altering substance you can get your hands on.

Phthisis
Apr 16, 2007

"Maybe some dolphins have sex for pleasure."

Jeza posted:

Nicholas is going to kill you fatbeard

is there any reason why he might NOT kill you?

Chicken Butt
Oct 27, 2010
Nicholas doesn't need to kill the OP; betting on his untimely demise is such a sure thing that it barely even counts as gambling.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

Phthisis posted:

is there any reason why he might NOT kill you?

to continue paying a lifelong bill, duh.

Sigma-X
Jun 17, 2005

Phthisis posted:

is there any reason why he might NOT kill you?

plot twist: Fatbeard is Nicholas' Biperden hookup

Centripetal Horse
Nov 22, 2009

Fuck money, get GBS

This could have bought you a half a tank of gas, lmfao -
Love, gromdul

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

$150 is a LOT of money in Croatia.

How much is "a lot," and does that count as a lot in Zagreb, or only in smaller towns? Can you live a fairly baller city lifestyle on $3-4k/month?

Bulgogi Hoagie
Jun 1, 2012

We

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

That is six weeks of heavy chain smoking for $18 - a bargain. A regular pack of cigs costs $3 and when I'm in the right mood, I can polish off two packs a day.
At this time, until I get this tobacco, I have no option but to bum on the bus station. I pretend to be waiting for the bus and "incidentally" kindly ask people if they could spare a cig until the bus comes. If your pro-bum shtick is nice enough, there is an 80% chance that you'll get your cig for free.

I mean the faster God embraces you in his kingdom the better man

Cursed Lumberjack
Nov 14, 2006
A rather unfortunate logger indeed.
Could you go over why this business partner who is in the process of maybe suing/maybe extorting you seemed like the best guy to make this deal with?

Also if you regularly make such bad decisions that 'smoking moldy tobacco' is just a passing side-mention, I'm not shocked at all if you actually have cancer, then again with your history I don't see why we should believe those MRI scans are yours. Which sounds more plausible to the average goon who has passing familiarity with you:

-Fatbeard got cancer and attends medical appointments that have some diagnostic or remedial effect on his disease

OR

-Fatbeard got super high on six research chemicals one night and woke up with a binder full of MRI scans in his refrigerator

I think even you know that the second one sounds more reasonable when placed in the pastiche of your life and past experiences, so just posting a picture of the scans isn't convincing at all.

fuck off Batman
Oct 14, 2013

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah!


Centripetal Horse posted:

How much is "a lot," and does that count as a lot in Zagreb, or only in smaller towns? Can you live a fairly baller city lifestyle on $3-4k/month?

$150 isn't really a lot of money, you need at least $700 per month to even think on living on your own. Average wage is ~$1000, and $3-4k per month puts you in a rich as gently caress category.

Bobbie Wickham
Apr 13, 2008

by Smythe

Cursed Lumberjack posted:

Also if you regularly make such bad decisions that 'smoking moldy tobacco' is just a passing side-mention, I'm not shocked at all if you actually have cancer, then again with your history I don't see why we should believe those MRI scans are yours. Which sounds more plausible to the average goon who has passing familiarity with you:

-Fatbeard got cancer and attends medical appointments that have some diagnostic or remedial effect on his disease

OR

-Fatbeard got super high on six research chemicals one night and woke up with a binder full of MRI scans in his refrigerator

I think even you know that the second one sounds more reasonable when placed in the pastiche of your life and past experiences, so just posting a picture of the scans isn't convincing at all.

This is both hilarious and a valid point.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

Yesterday I got the results from the latest MRI scan, and the news are really reassuring: No new mets, the highlited lymph node hasn't grown at all; it's either dormant or dead altogether. FFS I am cured. :toot:

Congratulations AWF! :toot:

Now please get your poo poo together. :ohdear:

Booblord Zagats
Oct 30, 2011


Pork Pro
Challenge Hulk Hogan with a rap album and just use the sales of said album to pay your power bill

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

📈📊🍪😋



Fatbeard survives cancer multiple times, avoids drug related death, and extracts monthly insurance tribute from a thug

He is Rasputin

A SWEATY FATBEARD
Oct 6, 2012

:buddy: GAY 4 ORGANS :buddy:

Suspicious Lump posted:

....dude he is totally going to kill you.

...yeah that's what I thought too. Earlier today I told him that the deal is off because "my cancer is doing seriously well and I am pretty much cured"; I basically told him to get stuffed... the nice way.
Another thing, before Nicholas's construction workers wrecked the meter, he paid about $1000 to the power company - those bills were only an estimation on the future power consumption that never eventuated since the apartment has been empty ever since - there was no power consumption and Nicholas wanted that money back. Yesterday I got the return payment from the power company and I passed this money to Nicholas's friend today. I told him what Nicholas has been doing to me and the poor guy was visibly distressed, at one point he even thought I was taping the conversation as a part of a secret police sting operation. He had no clue what was going on and now I actually feel bad for the guy for making him hear this.

Cursed Lumberjack posted:

then again with your history I don't see why we should believe those MRI scans are yours.

Here's a deal buddy, if my cancer starts growing again and if it spreads to kidneys/remaining nut, after surgery I'll personally ask the docs to hand me over my wrecked kidney - then I'm gonna pickle it and mail it to you. Deal?

Disco Infiva posted:

$150 isn't really a lot of money

Yeah, but I'm already used to living in poverty. If you're a careful shopper and if you're cooking for yourself at home, you'd be surprised at how far you can stretch your $150 out.

Dick Trauma posted:

Now please get your poo poo together. :ohdear:

I'll start by quitting booze and cigs... tomorrow. I already smoked all of that tobacco I took a picture of! (I gave a quarter of it to my friend but yeah, what's too much is definitely too much.)

Some goons were convinced that 2L bottles of beer were gross. I agree! That doesn't mean that beer from 2L bottles is warm by default - there are two ways you can drink it cold: First, if you're a slow drinker and you notice that your beer is getting warm, you can do the unthinkable and put it back into the fridge. Second, you can pour yourself a nice big mug of beer and then put the bottle back into the fridge until you need it. It's called beer planning!
Personally I drink my beer warm because I like the taste. Been drinking it that way since 2009 when I was working in the warehouse and we were drinking written off, defective beers (and there's quite a story behind that.)

Suspicious Lump posted:

Hey last time you posted some pictures of war bunkers around your place. Any more cool pics? Even if it's of your current surroundings I'd love to see Crotia from your point of via. Next time can you go out and take a few pics during your daily routine.

Can do. What exactly would you like to see? I can make videos with narration in Engrish.
I have a pretty decent camera and I like to take pictures of architecture and urban decay in Zagreb, urbex stuff mostly. Anyone interested in this?

Since there is no major crisis going on in my life right now, I don't mind this thread turning into a general purpose A/T chitchat thread about life in ex-Yugoslav countries.

fuck off Batman
Oct 14, 2013

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah!


Do it.

Also, that warm beer thing was a joke, but it was funny seeing goons taking it seriously.

DJ Fuckboy Supreme
Feb 10, 2011

And when you stare long into the abyss, you become aggressively, terminally chill

Disco Infiva posted:

Do it.

Also, that warm beer thing was a joke, but it was funny seeing goons taking it seriously.

Lots of beers recommend you drink them at room temperature

Warm is just loving nasty

Viva Miriya
Jan 9, 2007

You deserve everything that happens to you in this life.

EMILY BLUNTS
Jan 1, 2005

Teketeketeketeke
Mar 11, 2007


I'd be very interested in seeing just about anything. The bunkers were cool, but just anything about day to day reality would be good.

opus111
Jul 6, 2014

lol thats a SHITLOAD of baccy in 20 days.

H.H
Oct 24, 2006

August is the Cruelest Month

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

Since there is no major crisis going on in my life right now

hmmmmmm

oreinmancer
Jun 25, 2010

by Lowtax
From this thread, Croatia sounds perfect.

A SWEATY FATBEARD
Oct 6, 2012

:buddy: GAY 4 ORGANS :buddy:
Here are some pics I snapped today. I went out to find me a ciggy and decided to bring my camera along because goons seem to have a boner for bomb shelters.


I don't think you can really appreciate how massive this airlock is - you could easily drop a tiny car through it, and the entrance is probably accessible from what looks to me like a large underground parking facility - hell I ain't going down, it's a good place to get robbed. The whole meadow is fake, it's hollowed out entirely, and the surrounding buildings are strategically placed to take the worst of the bomb shock wave, protecting the vulnerable entrance and the airlocks.




Estates completed during the 1960s generally don't have fancy shelters, but when the Cold War started picking up again during the 1970s, all newly built estates came with at least some form of fortification. Josip Broz Tito thought that, considering the seriously bad track record the Balkans have with ethnic wars, that it's not outlandish to think that these places could see war again and that it may even be nuclear. Another good idea by Tito was how he never equipped Yugoslav Air Force with large carpet-bombing aircraft which could be used to bomb enemy cities - though I reckon that this was probably done not to upset eastern-bloc Hungary, it came as a real blessing during the Yugoslav wars since this absence of bombers kept Zagreb and a lot of other places out of harm's way for the most part.


Another airlock, it's located nearby but I don't think the two facilities are connected. I love the mushroom domes, this is obviously a fallout shelter (large battery-powered motors pull air through the mushroom intakes and run it through a filter to provide fresh air for the bunker.)

God I love the 1970s. Lots of concrete and crazy planning:


Yes, this is a mind-boggling viaduct over the parking lot. 1970s brutalism mandated that lots of concrete should be used in one way or another, and I can only come up with a conclusion that this monstrosity was built "for the hell of it."

***

I am reluctant to call these buildings "commieblocks" or "the projects". Both of those terms are used in a perjorative sense to denote "quick and dirty" fixes for housing shortages. In Yugoslavia, new estates were built as a part of the drive for urbanisation and construction wasn't nasty and rushed as it was common in eastern bloc countries.
I am not going to go on a long tirade about the wonders of Yugoblocks because I'm tired and hungry - suffice is to say that our modern buildings wouldn't look out of place in, say, Japan. It's true that we've had a fair share of architectural misses, but the majority of the buildings erected after 1964 in Zagreb were really, really good.

opus111
Jul 6, 2014

i enjoyed your post + pictures.

Kro-Bar
Jul 24, 2004
USPOL May
Crotaia seems like a real fun place to hang out and have fun. Keep up the good work, op! :cool:

A SWEATY FATBEARD
Oct 6, 2012

:buddy: GAY 4 ORGANS :buddy:
I'm not in a particularly festive mood today. The mailman woke up me this morning and brought me a notice of foreclosure - at first I thought that it's just another one of those bullshit foreclosures over the utilities in the Crackden apartment I sold to Nicholas, but no: it was a loving $110 bill for two months' of heating in the Large Apartment with Dad the Tenant property I sold a year ago (from the penultimate saga) - and this one is for real.
It's not hard to think why I missed the payment, considering the sheer amount of mess I was dealing with in those days. I will be able to finance this, it's just that I'll have to spend yet another month munching on stockpiles of dry cardboard-y food I have stored in the apartment. Serving in the Army teaches you to eat really gross stuff and like it even if you can't really tell what you're eating in the first place. And that's a Good Thing (tm).

I mean, after all this I feel like I ran a marathon only to step on a rusty tack at the finish line. :negative:

Suspicious Lump
Mar 11, 2004
Ahh man, sorry that sucks :(. I enjoyed your pictures. Can you get some pics of street life/shops, like a bakery.

Sigma-X
Jun 17, 2005
How the gently caress are they foreclosing on a property you sold?

That's not how property transfers work. Did you not actually sell the property?

Colonel J
Jan 3, 2008

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

Been drinking it that way since 2009 when I was working in the warehouse and we were drinking written off, defective beers (and there's quite a story behind that.)


Screw the bunkers, I want to hear that story

Sigma-X
Jun 17, 2005
Tell more stories and post more pictures.

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DismemberedLemon
Jun 20, 2015
I feel like instead of buying tons of tobacco you should save some money for when you get random bills like this.

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