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I'm kind of amazed that goons here and the TCC thread seem to think ASF's English is incredibly good. I guess we have a lot more ESL goons than I realized.
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Jul 16, 2015 04:03
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Cursed Lumberjack posted:I'm kind of amazed that goons here and the TCC thread seem to think ASF's English is incredibly good. I guess we have a lot more ESL goons than I realized.
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Jul 16, 2015 04:14
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Cursed Lumberjack posted:I'm kind of amazed that goons here and the TCC thread seem to think ASF's English is incredibly good. I guess we have a lot more ESL goons than I realized. To be honest, it is pretty good as he learned it without formal teaching. szary posted:Hey fellow Eastern bloc buddy, we got the same kind of mammoth apartment buildings in my country, except uglier: I live in Canada. I would be happy if half the emails that I receive were as clear as ASF is.
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Jul 16, 2015 04:16
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Tin Hat posted:I'm a native English speaker and went to school for linguistics, and he seems to write just fine to me. mcbagpipes posted:To be honest, it is pretty good as he learned it without formal teaching. Yeah I'm not saying it isn't passable for an ESL I'm just saying the people saying its ABSOLUTELY ASTOUNDING must be pretty bad at it or maybe they are just trolling.
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Jul 16, 2015 04:21
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Cursed Lumberjack posted:Yeah I'm not saying it isn't passable for an ESL I'm just saying the people saying its ABSOLUTELY ASTOUNDING must be pretty bad at it or maybe they are just trolling.
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Jul 16, 2015 04:25
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Cursed Lumberjack posted:I'm kind of amazed that goons here and the TCC thread seem to think ASF's English is incredibly good. I guess we have a lot more ESL goons than I realized. What? His English is of incredible quality. Stop being an unpleasant prick jsut because you don't like how he lives his life.
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Jul 16, 2015 11:06
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His English is fluent and his use of idiom sets him apart from most non-native speakers, perhaps because he didn't learn in formalised setting.
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Jul 16, 2015 11:14
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Cursed Lumberjack posted:Yeah I'm not saying it isn't passable for an ESL I'm just saying the people saying its ABSOLUTELY ASTOUNDING must be pretty bad at it or maybe they are just trolling. If I had to choose between you and him as to who was a native speaker of English, from text alone, I'd choose Fatbeard. Unironically. You can't even use commas correctly, bro. Getting out-grammared and vocabbed by a garbage eating slumlord Croatian trainwreck. HOW DOES IT FEEL?
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Jul 16, 2015 11:41
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:It turned out that there was a massive reserve of fresh potable water hidden below the surface, and the city council correctly saw that fresh water is too important for the city to risk it getting shat up by human activity. All construction plans were abandoned, the vast areas of untamed land were put under protection and the only thing that was built there was a water pumping station. This may explain why your bottled water is so horrible:  Dude. Dude. 3.7 grams of minerals per liter. Let's break it down:
 )I greatly enjoyed your sodas though:  I liked your food too, but you got nothin' on Slovenia: 
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Jul 16, 2015 12:14
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Hey OP post more pictures, take pictures everywhere you go and write what you see even if it's boring as if this thread was your personal blog. Thanks.
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Jul 16, 2015 12:34
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hackbunny posted:I liked your food too, but you got nothin' on Slovenia: I'm pretty sure World Wars were started for less  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUTTtUu9xlE
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Jul 16, 2015 12:40
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hackbunny posted:I liked your food too, but you got nothin' on Slovenia: I'm half Slovenian. I lived in a place with the highest concentration of Slovenians in the United States. I love to play bocce/balinanje. Almost every funeral, wedding, and major family function I've been to in the last thirty years was packed with Slovenians. I have never seen a single one of them smoke a pig in an outhouse. Truly, we have lost our way. Between Recher Hall and the SNPJ farm, I've gotten plenty of good potica, pierogies, polenta, and chicken dumpling soup, but no whole pigs. Why does Croatia seem to be so crippled? Some of the stuff Fatbeard says makes Croatia sound like a mildly dystopian future-city. Slovenia has less than half Croatia's population, but only a 25% smaller GDP. Croatia has 60% higher unemployment than Slovenia, and 50% more of its population living below the poverty line. Slovenia has more than twice the exports of Croatia dollar-wise. Their histories are pretty intertwined. What has Slovenia been doing differently? I am enjoying this thread. Cursed Lumberjack posted:I'm kind of amazed that goons here and the TCC thread seem to think ASF's English is incredibly good. I guess we have a lot more ESL goons than I realized. People think his English is exceptionally good because his English is exceptionally good. That thing you said, right up there ^^, that was stupid.
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Jul 16, 2015 13:50
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hackbunny posted:This may explain why Croatian bottled water is so horrible: I agree with this. However Croatian tap water is so good that nobody - and I mean NOBODY buys bottled water. The only exception is mineral water, heaviliy carbonated, which is mixed along with riesling wine for a concoction called "gemisht".
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Jul 16, 2015 14:23
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GAY 4 ORGANS
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Centripetal Horse posted:Why does Croatia seem to be so crippled? Some of the stuff Fatbeard says makes Croatia sound like a mildly dystopian future-city. Slovenia has less than half Croatia's population, but only a 25% smaller GDP. Croatia has 60% higher unemployment than Slovenia, and 50% more of its population living below the poverty line. Slovenia has more than twice the exports of Croatia dollar-wise. Their histories are pretty intertwined. What has Slovenia been doing differently?
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Jul 16, 2015 14:41
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Centripetal Horse posted:I'm half Slovenian. I lived in a place with the highest concentration of Slovenians in the United States. I love to play bocce/balinanje. Almost every funeral, wedding, and major family function I've been to in the last thirty years was packed with Slovenians. I have never seen a single one of them smoke a pig in an outhouse. Truly, we have lost our way. They occasionally do whole pig roasts out at Pristava.
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Jul 16, 2015 14:56
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Centripetal Horse posted:Between Recher Hall and the SNPJ farm, I've gotten plenty of good potica, pierogies, polenta, and chicken dumpling soup, but no whole pigs. There are restaurants cooking whole pigs in roadside spit-roast ovens all the way along the E61. They're clearly tourist traps for all the Italians bypassing your toll roads on the way to Croatia, because the prospect of paying a two week pass just for passing through Slovenia twice brings the inner miser out of every Italian. We skipped on the way to Croatia because we already had lunch, but on the way back we let the siren song of roast pork lure us
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Jul 16, 2015 17:19
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The_Franz posted:They occasionally do whole pig roasts out at Pristava. Out near Geneva? I did not know that. Somehow, I missed all the pig roasts, I guess. hackbunny posted:There are restaurants cooking whole pigs in roadside spit-roast ovens all the way along the E61. They're clearly tourist traps for all the Italians bypassing your toll roads on the way to Croatia, because the prospect of paying a two week pass just for passing through Slovenia twice brings the inner miser out of every Italian. We skipped on the way to Croatia because we already had lunch, but on the way back we let the siren song of roast pork lure us This sounds both funny and delicious. I envision a wood shack every couple of miles, with lookouts posted to raise the alarm when they see a Fiat. Was the pig good? How much did it cost?
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Jul 16, 2015 17:39
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opus111 posted:What? Are you kidding me dude I love how he lives his life, he is the second most capable Croatian I know and by far the most entertaining.
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Jul 20, 2015 04:00
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Gmaz posted:Since both countries had lovely corrupted governments after the breakup of Yugoslavia, I guess you can blame it on the war and culture. Might as well skip that step and blame it on the breakup of Yugoslavia.
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Jul 20, 2015 04:29
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Man, what you really need to do is very politely ask your friends and family for some loans, rig your place full of cameras streaming directly to the internet, invest in freaky lights and three quarters of the drugs, alcohol, and tobacco in Croatia, and then let the sweet internet money roll in. What do you use for papers for your tobacco? Bible pages can be surprisingly nice. I'm amazed that my Vet disability puts me into apparently baller status over there, laughing at being stereotypical and imagining what it would of been like there back in the sorta brutalist days- $40 and a bottle of government booze maybe? Kidding, but I'm sure it would of sucked. To put it nicely. Really enjoy your posting style, and go raid some damned bunkers! (Please?)
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Jul 20, 2015 06:04
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Here's an epilogue to this thread. My best friend borrowed me some money and I paid my debts in full, and I'll gradually return the money to him over the following few months. What's most important is that I stopped hemoraging money - and I also quit drinking. I'm celebrating the occasion with a little bit of tramadol.  If anyone is interested, we can keep this thread alive with chitchatting. 
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Jul 22, 2015 02:39
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You decided to abuse painkillers now? gently caress it, I refuse to believe this person is real.
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Jul 22, 2015 03:14
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Non Serviam posted:You decided to abuse painkillers now? You really honestly think he wasn't already?
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Jul 22, 2015 03:18
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drat dude you've got some pretty eloquent writing on your hands for somebody who's in a constant state of drug induced psychosis. You should write a book about your life, I would buy it, read it, and agree with your tombstone of "This corpse had a lot of money."
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Jul 22, 2015 05:35
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This is definitely too good to be real, I really hope it is. These stories are pure insanity, but I can't stop reading.
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Jul 22, 2015 05:36
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If he is real, and that's a big if, then this thread is probably worse for him. We keep celebrating his crazy poo poo; it's like reinforcing your dog's trait of making GBS threads on your bed.
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Jul 22, 2015 05:43
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Non Serviam posted:If he is real, and that's a big if, then this thread is probably worse for him. We keep celebrating his crazy poo poo; it's like reinforcing your dog's trait of making GBS threads on your bed. Let's be real, he's old, he's got cancer, he's a drug addict. There's a set amount of time that this person will be alive and we will be able to live vicariously through his lifestyle. I hope he reads this and realizes his mortality but I'm sure he already has, so let's just enjoy the stories while it lasts. Whether it's a troll or the real thing. He is literally the posterboy of why you should try to maintain sobriety, especially as a person reaching the edge of their lifetime.
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Jul 22, 2015 06:03
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From the other threads he is definitely croatian and lived in some totalk shitholes. Fatbeard what happened to your uncles hoarder house.
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Jul 23, 2015 00:16
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Please never stop posting. I love your threads.
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Jul 23, 2015 07:50
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Non Serviam posted:If he is real, and that's a big if, then this thread is probably worse for him. We keep celebrating his crazy poo poo; it's like reinforcing your dog's trait of making GBS threads on your bed. OP seriously just keep posting your life in croatia blog updates.
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Jul 23, 2015 09:15
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ceebee posted:Let's be real, he's old, he's got cancer, he's a drug addict. There's a set amount of time that this person will be alive and we will be able to live vicariously through his lifestyle. I hope he reads this and realizes his mortality but I'm sure he already has, so let's just enjoy the stories while it lasts. Whether it's a troll or the real thing. He is literally the posterboy of why you should try to maintain sobriety, especially as a person reaching the edge of their lifetime. He's like that chemist who killed himself via cyanide and took the opportunity to record the taste for the CRC.
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Jul 23, 2015 12:51
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Sorry for the posting hiatus. This was the second time I nearly set the Roach Tower afire while under the influence. I was cooking a pot of soup... and nodded away on tramadol. THREE HOURS LATER, I woke up to an apartment full of smoke, the contents of the pot were reduced to a smoldering brown goo. I cut the gas supply and picked up the pot and the bottom just sorta fell off - fortunately back on the stove and not on the vinyl floor. It's a pity, really, the pot used to be a really nice piece of stainless steel cookware with a copper heat spreader welded to the bottom. I can't afford a new pot at the moment, good thing I have a motley selection of semi-junk cookware the penultimate owner of the apartment was too lazy to toss so I sorta inherited them when I bought the apartment. Well they were in the cabinet and I just went "welp I've eaten from worse." The oldest item of cookware I own that I know the manufacture date of is a cast iron pot from 1953, one handle fell off in 1962 due to a spotty welding job but the other one is still clinging tight to the pot and enamel is surprisingly good still. It's my favorite pot to cook the "I opened a can and have no idea what this poo poo is supposed to be" kind of meal. I also got a wad of tobacco from my neighbor. I really like the dude, he's totally nuts but in a good way: picture him as a young, wiry Lenin with a trademark stoner gaze and dreadlocks (yes he has a Lenin goatee. I have no idea why.) The other reason I've been away is that I've been sleeping for 27+ hours straight, which is not at all uncommon when you do opiates (careful readers will note that I've been doin subs and H waaaaay before I even knew what deliriants were.) The problem with this was that my neck got stuck in a weird and a painful "oof" position and I've been unable to carry the weight of my head on the shoulders. Sitting was a no-no because I couldn't turn my head around and sitting for more than five minutes would make my eyes water, so I'd just retire to bed again in hopes that my neck would stop giving me a hard time eventually. Today I'm feeling rather well, I even went out though I smell like a wet dog... but that's a completely different issue. My camera pouch is nowhere to be found, and I strongly suspect that I threw it out the window since the leather was falling apart since 2013. The camera is fine - I did not toss it out the window with the pouch. Doesn't matter how high I am, I always try to keep a modicum of common sense - though, as we've seen many times over, it's hardly a bulletproof rule. I'll try to take more pics the following day provided the weather is nice enough. The last few days were either sunny and hot as gently caress, or it was raining sideways while being hot as gently caress. As far as finances are concerned, after paying off the heating debt, I hastily invested the remaining money into food, knowing that if I keep paper bills kicking around, that I'll burn them off on booze in a couple of days - and then what? I now have around $1 which isn't enough to buy a single 2L bottle of beer (and that's a good thing actually), but I can buy a loaf of bread for example. I don't need anything else really - in about fifteen days imma see some serious cash and then I'm gonna get absolutely wrecked. People tend to poke fun at me for eating trash - well some of it is safe to eat, some of it can be very questionable. A coworker of mine, called Mario, swiped a full carton of yogurt that was close to the expiration date. Such merchandise is really common if the warehouse doesn't pump the stuff out fast enough. What Mario didn't know, however, is that the yogurt in question wasn't kept in a cooler and he took it home, thinking it was okay to eat. Mario, his wife and their three children were later hospitalized for food poisoning. And he thought I was nuts for using a garden rake to fish out a couple of (peelable) onions out of the wheelie bin.
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Jul 25, 2015 19:17
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Jul 25, 2015 19:26
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Saros posted:Fatbeard what happened to your uncles hoarder house. Oh yes, forgot about this: nothing is happening ATM. We're trying to organize some sort of cleanup workforce but it's hard since the family is mostly in Germany and we're all strapped for cash. As far as the house is concerned, who knows if it's still in one piece - though I have to admit if some pyro went in there with a molotov cocktail he'd be doing us a favor.
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Jul 25, 2015 19:52
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Hey Sweaty, when are you gonna translate Nightmare Stage to English? I think goons need to know who your role models are.
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Jul 25, 2015 20:34
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That show is untranslatable.
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Jul 25, 2015 20:57
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Disco Infiva posted:Hey Sweaty, when are you gonna translate Nightmare Stage to English? I think goons need to know who your role models are. I might do it one of these days, I was thinking of doing it for a really long time now but I ended up with a conclusion that I'd have to go completely out of my way to explain to the goons why something is funny, the context of the show and such. A lot of humor is derived from yugo-banter which woudln't translate well into English. The premise of the show is simple: round up the town stoners, drunks, retards and crazies and put them on live TV stream, and film anything that happens in the studio. Everybody gets drunk, including the host, and the crew rambles incoherently about stuff. The "stuff" can be anything, really, the show is made completely ad-hoc. In SA-specific terms, it's what would happen if someone got Ulillillia drunk and had him post in FYAD, and the "FYAD" is on live TV. The show has its own meta-memes which I would have to painstakingly explain to the goons (which would take away the humor of it.) I was supposed to appear on Nightmare Stage in 2002, but I declined. 
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Jul 25, 2015 21:03
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Check this out, I am not translating it. The context: a horny, retarded 33 year old virgin is told he's finally gonna score with the ladies if he goes full monty in the disco. Which, unfortunately, he does. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUr1zdDJlIc
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Jul 25, 2015 21:08
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:Check this out, I am not translating it. The context: a horny, retarded 33 year old virgin is told he's finally gonna score with the ladies if he goes full monty in the disco. Which, unfortunately, he does. That video is highly nws by the way
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Jul 25, 2015 21:34
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stringball posted:That video is highly nws by the way The dude in the club drops his underwear and rocks with his cock out, forgot to include that in my post 
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Jul 25, 2015 21:35
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