Croatio: A Land of Contrasts

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Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

See, this is the reason I'm ALWAYS unarmed, even when it's clearly against my interests, like when I'm walking the bad parts of the town at night which is pretty much all the time. If I were armed, I just KNOW I would've done something that would've landed me in prison one way or another. There was this dude who offered me an immaculate M-70 (it's a Serbian folding-stock AK) for 2000 Croatian Kunas ($315) and I turned him down even though I had the money for the gun - I just knew that if I actually bought it, sooner or later I would've used the drat thing - either on myself or on random pedestrians, doesn't matter really. That guy is doin' time right now for serious drug related charges, so don't ask.

Nice stories about bikes and ditches but this is bullshit, sorry. :shobon:

Zagreb doesn't really have bad neighborhoods, especially not the kind where you'd need a gun. You'd have to cross several international borders to find such a neighborhood. Nobody in Croatia carries guns or buys guns or needs guns unless they are actual bank robbing criminals. Or rarely in countryside to shoot at the sky at weddings.

So this is some kind of "I'm a bad mothafucka" posturing. Entertaining thread otherwise.

# ¿ Aug 11, 2017 00:14

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# ¿ May 2, 2024 23:44

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

You are right. To nitpick, I didn't say that nobody here has guns. I said that nobody carries them, buys them or needs them.

Thankfully they are stashed away for the most part.

My issue isn't with ASF being offered to buy a gun, it's with the "Today was a good day" part of his story (phoneposting, otherwise I'd link the Ice Cube video).

edit: I was responding to Titan, but Salty and Gervasius are right too.

Doctor Malaver fucked around with this message at 16:31 on Aug 11, 2017

# ¿ Aug 11, 2017 16:11

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

Ehh I had huge beer goggles on at the time, Vesna was in fact a skanky druggie who was looking for a meth hookup, intending to pay in secks for the drugs which makes her a run of the mill hooker. Funny thing, she's now badgering Mr. Weed for drugs but he doesn't want to have anything with her because he has some standards while Vesna has every STD known to man, and Mr. Weed doesn't need that in his life.

By the way, tomorrow is the fourth anniversary of the surgery which saved my life, when they took out one of my balls because of cancer. Man, how time flies! And how well I recovered - racked up 57 kilometers on the bike today.

Is Vesna's nickname Proljece?

# ¿ Aug 16, 2017 01:38

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

I have no idea - I was so drunk at the time that about the only thing I memorized about her is that she had dyed her hair blonde - and I more than likely wouldn't have recognized her if I saw her on the street today. The sentiment is probably mutual.

That's not her then.

BTW not sure what you mean by 'meth'. There was no crystal meth in Croatia last I checked. Maybe speed? It's amphetamine, not methamphetamine (which is meth).

# ¿ Aug 18, 2017 00:40

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

If the tax office decides that the reported price was too low they'll calculate the market price and what would be the tax for it and demand that the buyer pays the tax difference. Which is still much cheaper for the buyer than paying the market price for the house. You sure showed him! PM me if you got any other real estate that you want to sell under price.

# ¿ Aug 31, 2017 10:59

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

There is a negligible number of protestants in Croatia, less than half percent by 2011 census. I think there were more pre-WW2 because there were more Germans then. My great-grandparents converted in a sense from Catholicism to Protestantism because great-grandmother's parents didn't like her fiance and were convinced that their marriage will end in a divorce. Since that's easier in protestant church, they allowed the marriage under the condition that the young couple does it as protestants.

As for the meat, maybe chevapi? It's very common food here but not really served at weddings since it's cheap and the onion makes you smell.

# ¿ Oct 4, 2017 19:31

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

I'd expect all Croatian and ex-Yu goons following this thread to know what CPS is, despite not learning it in school and not having lived in the US. Like we know what FEMA, NRA, IRS, DMV or OSHA are. We learn through movies, news, SA threads...

# ¿ Dec 11, 2017 00:36

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

Did you sleep for three days straight or something? It takes time for beans to go from freshly made to spoiled.

# ¿ Feb 3, 2018 03:53

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

Old Binsby posted:

I really miss having an apartment all to myself, even if it�s real tiny. �240 is fairly affordable, is that about the average for a small flat in zagreb?

I ask �250 for a flat similar to his (not as new but has a balcony). The prices are bound to go up though because for reasons unfathomable to us from Zagreb, the city started attracting tourists so a lot of flat owners switched from long term rent to Air Bnb. I could probably find tenants for �300.

# ¿ Feb 4, 2018 18:58

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

Congratulations on looking like a 1992 Serb reservist / paramilitary

Old Binsby posted:

happy for you. I completely understand your cheerful mood, it's a good feeling coming home tired from physical labor instead of stupid bullshittery. but do i read correctly that you work 13 out of every 14 days??

Presumably he doesn't work Sundays so it's 11 out of 14 days.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2018 01:07

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

Oh, if you intend to buy real estate in Croatia, you must be a permanent resident and you have to have Croatian citizenship which is rather difficult to get, but possible.

EU citizens can buy real estate just like Croatians. As for non-EU citizens, it depends on the country.

Also, 400.000 in a year is an order of magnitude too many. Emmigration from Croatia is catastrophic but it's closer to 50.000 in a year.

# ¿ Sep 19, 2018 13:13

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

Croatia has both Mediterranean and continental climate so you can grow basically anything, depending on which specific location you'd pick. I once even saw a news segment about a successful business growing tropical fruit in a glass house.

# ¿ Sep 19, 2018 14:00

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

Data Graham posted:

So is it haunted or what? What’s the catch?

That's a tough question, but the short answer would be War. Not only for direct destruction and loss of life but for creating a corrupt and incompetent political system that lives off nationalism. Decades after the war we still feel indirect consequences.

# ¿ Sep 19, 2018 23:30

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

Slavonia is cheap, high quality boose and poverty.

# ¿ Sep 25, 2018 10:37

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

Atlas Hugged posted:

Go on.

I also speak Chinese!

A massive construction project (a bridge to Peljesac peninsula) is starting in Dalmatia and a Chinese company won it so interpreters for Chinese are in demand. You could start there and later move to Slavonia and teach English and Chinese. You'd make local news right away.

# ¿ Sep 25, 2018 18:52

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

Dr.Caligari posted:

woops. forgot you can't edit here. anyway, this reminded me of this thread

This would surprisingly be correct with Slovenia instead of Bosnia.

# ¿ Oct 10, 2018 17:37

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:

His point (I think) is that this is not A Sweaty Fatbeard�s first or only thread, and this one starting with a foaming poop volcano does not prove that everything in his threads has always been foaming poop volcanoes.

We used to get thousands of words from A Sweaty Fatbeard where the only drugs he ingested were things like, �leftover beer found on the roadside,� and non-heroic doses of, like, weed. The major drug episodes were more like spice. Now, they�re the entire thread. No more lengthy discussion of brutalist architecture and leftover bomb shelters.

Like, if you don�t think �is now waking up in state mental hospitals for forced detox� is indicative of a downward trend, I guess we�re working from differing frames of reference.

The junkie episodes were always part of these threads, but they co-existed with other things. Now, they�re like 90% of everything he writes. It�s distressing, because I like his threads, and I don�t like watching people commit slow-motion suicide.

Yeah, the thread slowly became creepy.

lolol guys I'm trying to OD
(few days of silence)
whoops! heh, not yet ) I'll take a double dose next weekend
(silence again)
...

# ¿ Oct 19, 2018 11:37

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:

Hm. Interesting. Maybe I should say, �Which I�m guessing I don�t want to get [at any place I can afford] in Croatia.�

If I thought I could both go to Croatia, and get my spine fixed, I�d be down for it. It seems like a great opportunity to go somewhere I�ve never been, and fail to learn a new language.

From a week back, but I came upon this info today. Croatia is the most successful country in the world for organ transplants per capita. Liver first in the world, heart second in the world... :cryinglukamodric:

# ¿ Nov 5, 2018 01:08

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

https://www.total-croatia-news.com/politics/22591-croatia-among-leaders-in-organ-transplantation

The source may be biased (Croatian health officials) but googling "transplantation statistics croatia" produces a bunch of sciency pages that seem to support it.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2018 08:12

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

Old Binsby posted:

been meaning to ask, do Croats pull the same trick, except they go even farther east/south to like Moldavia or FYROM (the cheaplands of lore)?

For some things, yes. I passed through a border town in Bosnia full of dental clinic signs and billboards -- presumably for Croatians. Also people travel to Turkey and Serbia for hair transplants.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2018 19:32

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

spankmeister posted:

same old stereotypes. I thought there might be some interesting ones.

Dutch, huh? So are you in that pedophile party?

# ¿ Mar 17, 2019 22:40

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:

�I know you�re [religious, ethnic, or national group], but come on,� does not look great on a probation about casual racism. That�s all.

With the added bonus of misspelling the national group.

# ¿ Mar 20, 2019 11:12

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

Bobbie Wickham posted:

Lol, did I really?

Yeah, it's Croatian, not Croation. I've seen that a few times online and it's puzzling since that's not a suffix for any nation (no Italions, Americons, Bosnions...).

# ¿ Mar 20, 2019 15:15

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:

I remember you writing about how there are no jobs

There are now plenty of jobs, the bigger problem is that there are no more people.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2019 11:08

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

It's pretty good if you need regular stuff and live in Zagreb. If you're for instance in Split and need an MR, you'll wait more than a year.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2019 20:47

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

Is that Kreator

# ¿ Apr 20, 2019 00:08

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

the medication I'm taking is trashing my brain

Yeah, the problem is probably the prescribed medication, in prescribed doses.

BTW if you wanted to, you could get a non-driving job. It seems like in Zagreb one in three businesses has a 'help wanted' sign - bars, bakeries, exchange offices, stores, fast food chains...

# ¿ Apr 29, 2019 00:57

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

And how long do you think I could work such a job without lunging at somebody with a butchers knife? 23 minutes?

The point is that there is plenty of work available. Not everything is customer facing. There's farm work. Construction and trades. There are people teaching Chinese kids English over the internet. I mean, if you don't want to work or you believe you are too disabled for any kind of paid work, OK. But don't frame it like "I'm a driver who can't drive therefore :tootzzz:

# ¿ Apr 29, 2019 09:11

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

ASF, I counted 20-odd people supporting you on this page alone. Most of them want goofy videos and photos about Yu-era Zagreb. What if you made a Patreon or GoFundMe? With your income and expenses so low, your budget would feel even a few :10bux:

. The thread gets great content, you pay utilities, win-win. just don't spend it on drugs

# ¿ Aug 19, 2019 23:43

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# ¿ May 2, 2024 23:44

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

So, what was that incident? Is anyone still making Awfulpedia entries?

# ¿ Sep 7, 2019 09:01

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