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Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Cursed Lumberjack posted:

Before reading any of Sweaty Fatbeard's posts on SA I only had one reference point for Croatia, which was an old music teacher who visited family back there every few months and when he came back he would tell me, "Croatia loving sucks. It is the WORST. Everyone does every drug and everything is poo poo, and everyone is an rear end in a top hat. The government sucks and the people suck and I wish I would never set foot in that country again."

I guess he wasn't really exaggerating, Sweaty Fatbeard must fit right in.

But apparently beer comes in 2-liter bottles there, so there's that

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Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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He hires someone to jump into windshields for him

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Still giggling over the way you worded "cooking the chair" earlier

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Fatbeard survives cancer multiple times, avoids drug related death, and extracts monthly insurance tribute from a thug

He is Rasputin

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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ceebee posted:

Let's be real, he's old, he's got cancer, he's a drug addict. There's a set amount of time that this person will be alive and we will be able to live vicariously through his lifestyle. I hope he reads this and realizes his mortality but I'm sure he already has, so let's just enjoy the stories while it lasts. Whether it's a troll or the real thing. He is literally the posterboy of why you should try to maintain sobriety, especially as a person reaching the edge of their lifetime.

He's like that chemist who killed himself via cyanide and took the opportunity to record the taste for the CRC.

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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No amount of money will keep him from wanting to bum cigarettes outside of bus shelters.

He's like that bum who bought the solid gold house.

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Stop cooking chairs and storing your valuables in the washing machine


No wait, don't

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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This thread makes me wonder how many of the muttering bums I see on the streets of New York are actually multi-tenant landlords

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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You know what you must do

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Whose drool?

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Lured by the bacchanalian promise of the posts in this thread, delegations of goon emigrants with hope in their hearts will head to Zagreb, never to be heard from again by the civilized world. Finally a GBS fact finding mission will arrive at Fatbeard's abandoned, meticulously kept apartment, only to find a single, enigmatic word engraved crudely on the door: CROATION

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Maybe ASF could open a jesus-themed hot dog stand

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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That doesn't sound like the Fatbeard I know.

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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quote:

...And I don't know why this chair is over here.

I bet I do

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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"Dumpster" has just edged out "family reunion" at the top of the list of places I wouldn't want to have to tell my friends I'd met my significant other

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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We all know what that means: that it has been a problem in the past.

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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I'm glad to hear this, ASF.

We'd all rather laugh with you than at you.

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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A/T: Ask me about my slow and painful journey of learning that the Jews don't actually steal my blood while I sleep

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Hammond was trying to get sent to San Francisco to do a segment.

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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WTF, wrong thread

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Thoughts include: where the hell do shoes come from in Croatia that they look that good after 16 years.

Running shoes/trainers that I'm used to buying for $150 are completely shredded and the soles are worn straight through after like two years

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

I heard that drying clothes on lines /w clothespins is not legal in some parts of America. Is this true or have I been trolled again?

I don't think "illegal" is the right word, but communities with neighborhood associations will definitely make your life hell if you sully your neighbors' view of identical spanish-tile-roofed houses and manicured lawns with your clothes flapping in the breeze.

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Efexeye posted:

i had a job once hand-writing bibles from home for $8 a page

you can work even with a bad gut

No no, it's Harry Potter you do this with

http://www.419eater.com/html/cyril_ifey.htm

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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"Itch" instead of "scratch" is like one of those things kids on the schoolyard say, and almost universally grow out of. Or so I like to believe.

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Or at least someone who spent his schoolyard years fuming about how incorrect everyone else was being, and didn't mellow out until way too late in life :v:

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Enjoy your P-P-P-Pills

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

I understand this much, but where do I even meet women? I've never really been "in the game" so to speak, so I'm totally lost on this one! :)

Find one that is out foraging and follow it back to the hive

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Shouldn't have flushed the beard

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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redreader posted:

Get rid of the sideburns!!!!

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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And don't feel bad for screwing that up, 80% of native speakers don't understand the difference either :engleft:

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Gotta be honest I'm surprised that battery sizes are so standardized

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Looks pretty nice actually.

Cool parquet floor

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Let’s split

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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So is it haunted or what? What’s the catch?

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Dick Bastardly posted:

The lack of things to do seems like a business opportunity to me.

Needs a customer base though, and apparently the country is populated entirely by ghosts

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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What I'm picturing is desperate criminals and mentally ill convicts in Croatia just busting power moves and doing flips and cartwheels to while the day away

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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He carved CROATIAN into a tree before he went inside

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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So this is English tourism, sort of like dental tourism

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

I feel really embarrassed now. I honestly thought that "my nigga" is a friendly term, and goons somehow know that I never mean any harm in my posts. So I guess, thank you guys for pointing this out before I used the term in real life. I wrote the n-word fully in order to demonstrate just how racist Nazi Gramps really is.

It can be, but only in VERY specific circumstances (generally you kinda better be black yourself before you even think about going down the rest of the appropriateness flowchart).

This context is probably a lot more obvious to Americans. And as said ^^, it's not like we're great at it ourselves.

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Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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Those Croatoans, always disappearing into the forest without a trace

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