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Cursed Lumberjack posted:Before reading any of Sweaty Fatbeard's posts on SA I only had one reference point for Croatia, which was an old music teacher who visited family back there every few months and when he came back he would tell me, "Croatia loving sucks. It is the WORST. Everyone does every drug and everything is poo poo, and everyone is an rear end in a top hat. The government sucks and the people suck and I wish I would never set foot in that country again." But apparently beer comes in 2-liter bottles there, so there's that
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May 19, 2015 13:42
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He hires someone to jump into windshields for him
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Jun 3, 2015 21:33
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Still giggling over the way you worded "cooking the chair" earlier
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Jun 5, 2015 03:50
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Fatbeard survives cancer multiple times, avoids drug related death, and extracts monthly insurance tribute from a thug He is Rasputin
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Jun 26, 2015 00:07
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ceebee posted:Let's be real, he's old, he's got cancer, he's a drug addict. There's a set amount of time that this person will be alive and we will be able to live vicariously through his lifestyle. I hope he reads this and realizes his mortality but I'm sure he already has, so let's just enjoy the stories while it lasts. Whether it's a troll or the real thing. He is literally the posterboy of why you should try to maintain sobriety, especially as a person reaching the edge of their lifetime. He's like that chemist who killed himself via cyanide and took the opportunity to record the taste for the CRC.
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Jul 23, 2015 12:51
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No amount of money will keep him from wanting to bum cigarettes outside of bus shelters. He's like that bum who bought the solid gold house.
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Aug 4, 2015 13:28
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Stop cooking chairs and storing your valuables in the washing machine No wait, don't
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Sep 25, 2015 21:24
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This thread makes me wonder how many of the muttering bums I see on the streets of New York are actually multi-tenant landlords
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Oct 27, 2015 20:17
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You know what you must do
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Nov 1, 2015 01:48
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Whose drool?
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Dec 10, 2015 21:44
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Lured by the bacchanalian promise of the posts in this thread, delegations of goon emigrants with hope in their hearts will head to Zagreb, never to be heard from again by the civilized world. Finally a GBS fact finding mission will arrive at Fatbeard's abandoned, meticulously kept apartment, only to find a single, enigmatic word engraved crudely on the door: CROATION
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Dec 18, 2015 15:45
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Maybe ASF could open a jesus-themed hot dog stand
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Dec 27, 2015 18:40
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That doesn't sound like the Fatbeard I know.
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Jan 5, 2016 01:29
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quote:...And I don't know why this chair is over here. I bet I do
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Feb 8, 2016 04:53
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"Dumpster" has just edged out "family reunion" at the top of the list of places I wouldn't want to have to tell my friends I'd met my significant other
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May 10, 2016 01:36
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We all know what that means: that it has been a problem in the past.
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Jul 13, 2016 05:11
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I'm glad to hear this, ASF. We'd all rather laugh with you than at you.
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Aug 15, 2016 12:18
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A/T: Ask me about my slow and painful journey of learning that the Jews don't actually steal my blood while I sleep
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Aug 16, 2016 17:47
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Hammond was trying to get sent to San Francisco to do a segment.
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Dec 27, 2016 23:16
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WTF, wrong thread
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Dec 27, 2016 23:16
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Thoughts include: where the hell do shoes come from in Croatia that they look that good after 16 years. Running shoes/trainers that I'm used to buying for $150 are completely shredded and the soles are worn straight through after like two years
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Jan 5, 2017 22:19
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:I heard that drying clothes on lines /w clothespins is not legal in some parts of America. Is this true or have I been trolled again? I don't think "illegal" is the right word, but communities with neighborhood associations will definitely make your life hell if you sully your neighbors' view of identical spanish-tile-roofed houses and manicured lawns with your clothes flapping in the breeze.
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Jan 6, 2017 05:07
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Efexeye posted:i had a job once hand-writing bibles from home for $8 a page No no, it's Harry Potter you do this with http://www.419eater.com/html/cyril_ifey.htm
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Jan 6, 2017 23:21
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"Itch" instead of "scratch" is like one of those things kids on the schoolyard say, and almost universally grow out of. Or so I like to believe.
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Feb 7, 2017 14:36
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Or at least someone who spent his schoolyard years fuming about how incorrect everyone else was being, and didn't mellow out until way too late in life 
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Feb 8, 2017 14:06
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Enjoy your P-P-P-Pills
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Feb 17, 2017 20:26
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:I understand this much, but where do I even meet women? I've never really been "in the game" so to speak, so I'm totally lost on this one! Find one that is out foraging and follow it back to the hive
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Aug 14, 2017 21:04
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Shouldn't have flushed the beard
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Aug 15, 2017 20:23
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redreader posted:Get rid of the sideburns!!!! 
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Aug 15, 2017 20:47
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And don't feel bad for screwing that up, 80% of native speakers don't understand the difference either 
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Aug 20, 2017 17:13
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Gotta be honest I'm surprised that battery sizes are so standardized
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Feb 3, 2018 01:37
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Looks pretty nice actually. Cool parquet floor
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Feb 4, 2018 05:23
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Let’s split
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Sep 19, 2018 01:56
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So is it haunted or what? What’s the catch?
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Sep 19, 2018 14:10
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Dick Bastardly posted:The lack of things to do seems like a business opportunity to me. Needs a customer base though, and apparently the country is populated entirely by ghosts
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Sep 19, 2018 16:52
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What I'm picturing is desperate criminals and mentally ill convicts in Croatia just busting power moves and doing flips and cartwheels to while the day away
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Sep 28, 2018 14:13
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He carved CROATIAN into a tree before he went inside
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Oct 2, 2018 12:35
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spankmeister posted:*fewer So this is English tourism, sort of like dental tourism
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Mar 15, 2019 20:45
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:I feel really embarrassed now. I honestly thought that "my nigga" is a friendly term, and goons somehow know that I never mean any harm in my posts. So I guess, thank you guys for pointing this out before I used the term in real life. I wrote the n-word fully in order to demonstrate just how racist Nazi Gramps really is. It can be, but only in VERY specific circumstances (generally you kinda better be black yourself before you even think about going down the rest of the appropriateness flowchart). This context is probably a lot more obvious to Americans. And as said ^^, it's not like we're great at it ourselves.
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Mar 18, 2019 13:07
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Those Croatoans, always disappearing into the forest without a trace
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Mar 20, 2019 15:41
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