Let's Play the Grailquest series! (If this kills you, go to 14.)

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Let's Play the Grailquest series! (If this kills you, go to 14.)

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paradoxGentleman: Dec 10, 2013; wheres the jester, I could do with some pointless nonsense right about now

As someone who once lived in a farm, we probably know how rowdy animals can get. Let's help the poor guy

# ? Feb 29, 2016 14:27

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# ? May 3, 2024 13:28

Explosions: Apr 20, 2015

Let's do this thing. Cowboy up.

# ? Feb 29, 2016 19:34

Russ L: Feb 26, 2011

Animal husbandry! This book is really getting going now.

# ? Feb 29, 2016 22:00

Mikl: Nov 8, 2009; Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

Section 100 posted:

It's fortunate you have a bit of experience in farming as the adopted child of Freeman John and Goodwife Mary otherwise you'd be trampled by these stupid cows. Nonetheless, you persevere and between yourself and the cow-herd, the herd is eventually back together again.

'Oi be thankful to 'ee, young traveller,' exclaims the cow-herd gratefully, wiping his brow with a bit of straw. 'Them beasts be roight tricky to handle. Oi bain't got no mutt nor woife nor kin to give a helpin' hand. Happen ee moight loike to stay a while and work for Oi? A groat a year be the goin' rate, wi' a bed in the byre and all the mangleworzels ee can eat on Thursdays.'

Even a portable translator wouldn't make much of that lot, but you concentrate hard and conclude this rural entrepreneur is offering you a job.

'Thank you, no,' you refuse politely. 'I fear I already have a job as a professional adventurer.'

'Oh ahr,' nods the yokel sagely, fumbling in the pocket of his smock. 'Then take ee this here Right o' Passage token from the Official Peasant Rebellion Organization Committee of which Oi be shop steward. It moight be of use to ee sommat sometoime.' With which he hands you a small copper disc with a crude 'X' scratched on to one side.

'Thank you,' you reply, pocketing the token and wondering if he might have escaped from a funny farm. Then, as an afterthought you ask, 'I don't suppose you might know where the entrance to the Fairy Kingdom is hereabouts ?'

'Oh ahr the Kingdom of Horror,' he replies, smiling broadly, 'you be needin' the Goiant's Dance, you be. Take ee the road backaways till ee finds the hanged man, then turn ee south west and mind yourself.'

Which makes as much sense as anything he's said, although the instructions seem to be clear enough. If you want to follow them, go to the fork where you can ~~search the corpse at 10 or~~ go south west at 70. ( Or north at 4 if you want to be awkward.) Alternatively, you can ignore the cow-herd and look for the cattle track to continue south at 140.

That's quite the accent the guy's got there.

For the sake of completion, let's check out where this trail leads before handing the token to the mob.

Section 140 posted:

Bum move, Pip: the ground is so chumed up her that you don't have a pup's chance of finding the track.

Unless you want to get lost in the wilderness better go back to the fork where you can ~~search the corpse at 10,~~ go south west at 70, or north at 4.

Nowhere interesting. So let's go back to south-west, show the token, and proceed to 111.

Section 111 posted:

You follow the road as before until your eagle eye catches sight of a signpost off the road across the broad surrounding plain. The signpost (bumed into wood with a red hot poker by the looks of it (and rather neatly done as well) says

TRZMGH WZMXV

If you feel like following this mysterious signpost, go to 128. If you want to stick to the road, go to 150.

Which way?

Pip's Stat Block posted:

LOCATION: Further south from crossroads (cattle trail)
LIFE POINTS: 19 / 28+1
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 2
INVENTORY: EJ (hits on a 4, +5 damage), breastplate (-2 damage), healing potion (6 doses, restores a double dice roll of LIFE POINTS), small golden disc, scap of parchment, bunch of yarrow, bolt through neck instructions, right of passage token
STATUS EFFECTS: Bolt through neck (automatically kills enemies who roll a 12 against us unless they have surprise)
TREASURE: none

# ? Feb 29, 2016 23:04

Max Peck: Oct 12, 2013; You know you're having a bad day when a Cylon ambush would improve it.

Hey, we've seen that text before.

Mikl posted:

Section 10 posted:
ZMXRVMG OLIV HVVP GSV TRZMGH WZMXV TLOW WRHX ZXGREZGVH

(bolding mine)

Explosions posted:

It's an A->Z, B->Y type cryptogram:

ANCIENT LORE

SEEK THE GIANTS DANCE

GOLD DISC ACTIVATES

So, uh, let's hvvp it I guess. 128.

# ? Feb 29, 2016 23:12

FredMSloniker: Jan 2, 2008; Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

Mikl posted:

Which way?

Using the same cryptokey as the last one gives 'GIANTS DANCE', so let's follow the sign.

# ? Feb 29, 2016 23:12

Mikl: Nov 8, 2009; Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

Correct answer! Do you know what time it is now, goons?

Section 128 posted:

This looks really interesting. You've reached a massive ring of Standing Stones: monoliths, megaliths, trilithons - the whole bag! This must be what they call the Giant's Dance locally, although you have some faint memory that the Romans (when they were in Avalon) called it Apollo's Temple and in a later age - the one you've come from thanks to Merlin's Net Spell - this is the ancient construction known as Stonehenge. Now you know where you are! Salisbury Plain! But how can this be the entrance to the Fairy Kingdom or the Kingdom of Horror, as some people seem to be calling it?

You'd better do a little exploration and see if you can find out. There is a neat map of the Giant's Dance on page 221 with various places numbered. Use it to decide where you are going next.

Oh yes, it's time for some free-form exploring using a map! We haven't had one of these for a while now, haven't we?

Here's the map:

Which spot should we check out first?

Pip's Stat Block posted:

LOCATION: Further south from crossroads (cattle trail)
LIFE POINTS: 19 / 28+1
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 2
INVENTORY: EJ (hits on a 4, +5 damage), breastplate (-2 damage), healing potion (6 doses, restores a double dice roll of LIFE POINTS), small golden disc, scap of parchment, bunch of yarrow, bolt through neck instructions, right of passage token
STATUS EFFECTS: Bolt through neck (automatically kills enemies who roll a 12 against us unless they have surprise)
TREASURE: none

# ? Feb 29, 2016 23:23

Carbon dioxide: Oct 9, 2012

Uh, I've been there a few years ago. You could get an audio guide, which had a neat description of each numbered spot. I suppose they don't have audio guides in Merlin's time?

# ? Feb 29, 2016 23:51

FredMSloniker: Jan 2, 2008; Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

Carbon dioxide posted:

Uh, I've been there a few years ago. You could get an audio guide, which had a neat description of each numbered spot.

Huh! So the numbers aren't just arbitrary positions? Neat.

Anyway, how about we spiral in from the outside? I'm voting 5, 16, 26, 15, 56, and 72, in that order. However, I'm also voting that if we get the opportunity to back out, take it; if possible, I want an overview of the possibilities before committing more fully to any of them. (Mainly because I don't want to go to the next part of the book having missed some cool goodie.)

# ? Mar 1, 2016 00:00

Jazzimus Prime: May 16, 2002; The Brothers Autobot

FredMSloniker posted:

Anyway, how about we spiral in from the outside? I'm voting 5, 16, 26, 15, 56, and 72, in that order. However, I'm also voting that if we get the opportunity to back out, take it; if possible, I want an overview of the possibilities before committing more fully to any of them. (Mainly because I don't want to go to the next part of the book having missed some cool goodie.)

What he said.

# ? Mar 1, 2016 07:32

Mikl: Nov 8, 2009; Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

Alright, spiral in we shall. Let's start with Section 5.

Section 5 posted:

There's something behind this stone!

Swiftly you draw EJ and zip around to confront the horror that awaits you. Equally swiftly you slide EJ back into his scabbard and remove your hat. 'I do beg your pardon,' you say politely. 'I'm afraid I thought you were a monster.'

'Do I look like a monster?' asks the slim girl in the white linen robe leaning on the stone.

'Not exactly,' you say. 'That is, not at all. I'm just a bit nervous.'

'I am Camilla,' says the girl, smiling. 'I sometimes come here to feel the stones.'

'To fee... ' You stop yourself just in time. Looking closer at Camilla's eyes, you realise she is blind. 'Oh yes, I see.'

'May I feel your face?' she asks. 'You sound nice.'

'Yes, of course.' You stand there, a little embarrassed by this unexpected development, as Camilla runs her fingers lightly over your face.

'Excuse me,' she says after a moment, 'but do you have a bolt through your neck?'

If you still have that stupid bolt, turn to 52. If you have somehow managed to remove it, go to 31.

Why yes, yes we do. Is something the matter?

Section 52 posted:

You nod, then remember and say, 'Yes.'

'I thought so,' says Camilla. 'Would you like me to take it out? I'm quite good at that sort of thing.'

'I was told it couldn't be taken out without my head falling off.'

'Stuff and nonsense!' says Camilla. 'I can remove it quite safely.'

It's up to you, Pip. If you want the bolt removed, go to 68. If not, you can always decline politely and go to 31.

Do we want to remove the bolt? (Keep in mind it has a really neat side effect, detailed below in the "STATUS EFFECTS" section.)

Pip's Stat Block posted:

LOCATION: Further south from crossroads (cattle trail)
LIFE POINTS: 19 / 28+1
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 2
INVENTORY: EJ (hits on a 4, +5 damage), breastplate (-2 damage), healing potion (6 doses, restores a double dice roll of LIFE POINTS), small golden disc, scap of parchment, bunch of yarrow, bolt through neck instructions, right of passage token
STATUS EFFECTS: Bolt through neck (automatically kills enemies who roll a 12 against us unless they have surprise)
TREASURE: none

# ? Mar 1, 2016 13:55

Explosions: Apr 20, 2015

Protect your neck. 31.

# ? Mar 1, 2016 16:41

Added Space: Jul 13, 2012; Free Markets
Free People

Curse you Hayard-Gunnes!

I don't neck on the first date.

# ? Mar 1, 2016 17:05

Omobono: Feb 19, 2013; That's it! No more hiding in tomato crates! It's time to show that idiota Germany how a real nation fights!

For pasta~! CHARGE!

Show how hilariously 68 kills us (I'm assuming), then let's keep our autokill at 31.

# ? Mar 1, 2016 17:48

Carbon dioxide: Oct 9, 2012

FredMSloniker posted:

Huh! So the numbers aren't just arbitrary positions? Neat.

Anyway, how about we spiral in from the outside? I'm voting 5, 16, 26, 15, 56, and 72, in that order. However, I'm also voting that if we get the opportunity to back out, take it; if possible, I want an overview of the possibilities before committing more fully to any of them. (Mainly because I don't want to go to the next part of the book having missed some cool goodie.)

Heh. That was not quite what I meant. No, in reality they set out a fenced-off tourist route around and through the structure, with numbered signs that are in order. Every time you see a sign you can press the corresponding button on the audio player and you'll hear an explanation that has to do with that specific location on the route.

The numbers in the book don't have to do anything with that, as far as I know.

One thing I do remember is that the folks who built the thing used stones that aren't available anywhere closer than Northern Wales. So they dragged those heavy things a far distance. One possible reason was that these stones always feel warm to the touch compared to other rocks, no matter the weather. Ancient people might've thought this was magic. To show this, they had placed a local stone next to one of the Stonehenge stones and you could touch them. The audio guide made it sound like this was some kind of unexplained phenomenon - actual magic?

Of course, the explanation is simple: those rocks have lower heat conductivity. Just like metal feels colder than wood at the same temperature, because metal conducts the heat away from your hand faster. I'm sorry if I destroyed anyone imagination.

# ? Mar 1, 2016 19:38

inflatablefish: Oct 24, 2010

I think we should keep the bolt, because of its useful little combat perk that's almost certain to never come up on the dice.

(I also predict that the book will give us about 3 opportunities to have it removed, and if we don't take one of them then the end boss will insta-kill us.)

# ? Mar 1, 2016 20:50

Mikl: Nov 8, 2009; Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

Section 31 posted:

'Well, the least said about that now the better,' remarks Camilla mysteriously. 'I suppose you're looking for the entrance to the Fairy Kingdom?'

'How on earth did you know that?' you ask in amazement.

'Merlin told me. He sent me here to help you.'

Can you beat that? The old fool wasn't as disorganised as he seemed. 'Do you know where the entrance is?' you say.

'Oh, yes,' says Camilla brightly. 'It's at one of the mounds: the one due south of here. But you'll need to start the Giant's Dance first. I suppose you do have the little golden disc?'

Well, do you? If the answer is yes, go to 90. If not, better move on to 61.

At least we risked getting the plague for something.

Section 90 posted:

'I'm so relieved,' says Camilla. 'But you will also need this . . . ' She takes from a fold of her robe a sprig of cherry blossom. (Isn't this a pretty part of your adventure? Don't worry, it won't last long.) 'You must offer the blossom to the Guardian of the Gateway.'

'Where do I find the Gateway?' you ask, ever sharp.

'At 56.' Camilla replies, smiling. 'The Guardian will instruct you what to do next.'

Well, that's good to know. What say you, goons? Should we head directly to 56 and talk to the Guardian, or finish our tour of Stonehenge first?

Pip's Stat Block posted:

LOCATION: Giants' Dance
LIFE POINTS: 19 / 28+1
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 2
INVENTORY: EJ (hits on a 4, +5 damage), breastplate (-2 damage), healing potion (6 doses, restores a double dice roll of LIFE POINTS), small golden disc, scap of parchment, bunch of yarrow, bolt through neck instructions, right of passage token, sprig of cherry blossom
STATUS EFFECTS: Bolt through neck (automatically kills enemies who roll a 12 against us unless they have surprise)
TREASURE: none

# ? Mar 1, 2016 21:02

SOLarian: Oct 29, 2012; Pillbug

Let's follow the old RPG-logic of doing everything but the main quest for as long as possible.

# ? Mar 1, 2016 21:32

Jazzimus Prime: May 16, 2002; The Brothers Autobot

SOLarian posted:

Let's follow the old RPG-logic of doing everything but the main quest for as long as possible.

Agreed. And this means that after exploring Stonehenge but before entering the Kingdom of Horror, we go back to visit those peasants and show them our Right of Passage Token to get whatever we can get from there.

# ? Mar 2, 2016 08:55

Comstar: Apr 20, 2007; Are you happy now?

Jazzimus Prime posted:

Agreed. And this means that after exploring Stonehenge but before entering the Kingdom of Horror, we go back to visit those peasants and show them our Right of Passage Token to get whatever we can get from there.

I vote for that too.

# ? Mar 2, 2016 12:24

Mikl: Nov 8, 2009; Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

We've already shown our token to the mob, it's how we got to the Giants' Dance. The direction we haven't explored yet is north, past the three bandits.

Let's keep moving on our Stonehenge tour, next stop is 16.

Section 16 **B (each) posted:

If you've been wondering why this was called the Slaughter Stone on your plan, you can stop wondering now. Leaning on the megalith, grinning evilly, is a black-robed figure carrying a razor sharp sickle. Beside him are two further figures, also in black (but with rather attractive maroon edging) and also carrying sickles. Something tells you they are not about to harvest corn.

Something is right: these are three of the dreaded Black Druids who sometimes use the Henge as a sacrificial site. The problem seems to be that they had no-one to sacrifice... until you came along.

The Druids are bribable, if you have the wherewithal (and if you don't have the cash to bribe all three, you can always try bribing the ones you can afford to bribe). If you want to try this and succeed, you may return to your Plan and try another destination. (The same goes for three Friendly Reactions.) Should you elect to fight, however, you should know each Black Druid has 20 LIFE POINTS, hits on 5 and slices off +3 damage with those sickles. If the Druids sacrifice you, go to 14. If you slaughter all three, go to 8.

For those just joining us this book, a brief explaination of how Bribing works. Each section where you're able to bribe someone is marked with a number of asterisks, and that indicates the number of Gold Pieces the enemies will accept as a bribe: * = 100, ** = 500, *** = 1000, **** = 10000. In this case, we've got two asterisks, so it will take 500 Gold Pieces (each) to bribe the Druids; to do so we give them the money and then roll two dice: if we score 2-7 the bribe is refused and we still have to fight, if we score 8 or above the bribe is accepted.

Too bad we don't have any money on us right now, huh?

Let's try for Friendly Reactions instead.

Druid 1's roll: 2. Our rolls: 3 + 2 + 1 = 6, no.
Druid 2's roll: 5. Our rolls: 5 + 4 + 2 = 11, no.
Druid 3's roll: 5. Our rolls: 4 + 3 + 5 = 12, nope.

Ah well. Roll initiative, then.

Pip's initiative roll: 1 + 4 = 5
Druid 1's initiative roll: 4 + 2 = 6
Druid 2's initiative roll: 3 + 4 = 7
Druid 3's initiative roll: 5 + 5 = 10

Druid 3 attacks! 6 + 1 = 7, Pip is hit for 2 + 3 - 2 = 3 LIFE POINTS and is down to 16.
Druid 2 attacks! 6 + 6 = 12, and :siren:

the sickle strikes Pip's neck bolt, sending a charge of electricity through Druid 2's heart and killing him instantly! :siren:

Druid 1 attacks! 6 + 6 = 12, and :siren:

Druid 1 is thunderstruck too! :siren:

Pip attacks! 4 + 3 = 7, Druid 3 is hit for 3 + 5 = 8 LIFE POINTS and is down to 12.

Druid 3 attacks! 2 + 6 = 8, Pip is hit for 3 + 3 - 2 = 4 LIFE POINTS and is down to 12.
Pip attacks! 5 + 2 = 7, Druid 3 is hit for 3 + 5 = 8 LIFE POINTS, is down to 4 and is knocked out.

That was some lucky (unlucky?) rolling on the Druids' part right there. Let's see what goodies we'll find at 8.

Section 8 posted:

That was extremely well done, Pip - the world is definitely a better place without them. Don't forget to search the bodies, since you will find on each of them a full flask of Healing Potion: that's three flasks altogether.

Now back to your plan and pick a safer destination.

you don't mind if I drink a couple doses of potion, right?

Potion roll: 6 + 3 = 9, we're at 21 LIFE POINTS.
Potion roll: 2 + 4 = 6, and we're at 27. Good enough for now.

Onwards! Next stop is 26.

Section 26 posted:

There's probably a very good reason why this mound is marked on the Plan, but it's certainly not very obvious. You search about for ages without finding anything more interesting than a straightforward mound of earth, then return to your plan to try another destination (muttering grimly to yourself).

Ah well. On to 15 then.

Section 15 posted:

There's probably a very good reason why this mound is marked on the Plan, but it's certainly not very obvious. You search about for ages without finding anything more interesting than a straightforward mound of earth, then return to your plan to try another destination (muttering grimly to yourself).

You shittin' me, book? :argh:

As we know after talking to Camilla, 56 is the way onwards, and through the mystical power of looking at the map and reading ahead I know we'll have to pass 56 to get to 72. So what shall we do? Should we go directly onwards, or go back and explore the only direction we haven't been to (north past the bandits)?

Pip's Stat Block posted:

LOCATION: Giants' Dance
LIFE POINTS: 27 / 28+1
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 2
INVENTORY: EJ (hits on a 4, +5 damage), breastplate (-2 damage), healing potion ( 16 doses, restores a double dice roll of LIFE POINTS), small golden disc, scap of parchment, bunch of yarrow, bolt through neck instructions, right of passage token, sprig of cherry blossom
STATUS EFFECTS: Bolt through neck (automatically kills enemies who roll a 12 against us unless they have surprise)
TREASURE: none

# ? Mar 7, 2016 09:15

FredMSloniker: Jan 2, 2008; Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

Has there even been an opportunity to acquire gold yet? I don't think there has. Unless it's at the bit we haven't seen yet, of course.

# ? Mar 7, 2016 09:35

Comstar: Apr 20, 2007; Are you happy now?

Finish those bandits before headed to the next disk.

# ? Mar 7, 2016 09:39

theamazingchris: Feb 1, 2016; : D

I'm not one for union-busting. Ignore the bandits and head onwards.

# ? Mar 7, 2016 17:31

Carbon dioxide: Oct 9, 2012

Destroy those bandits.

# ? Mar 7, 2016 17:44

inflatablefish: Oct 24, 2010

Let's go back to Merlin's place a couple of times and see if we can equip ourselves for the fight.

# ? Mar 7, 2016 19:03

Mikl: Nov 8, 2009; Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

Headed north again! As a refresher, this is what awaits us:

Section 41 posted:

The road eventually leaves the plain and enters a valley which narrows quite quickly into a high walled gorge. The road, previously so straight, now begins to twist and turn, and it, too, narrows.

You turn a corner and almost walk into three burly men with short swords moving in the opposite direction. Their leader, a villainous-looking individual whose face hasn't seen the touch of a razor for at least a week, looks you up and down, then turns to grin at his companions.

'Wot 'ave we 'ere, lads?' he asks. 'A young traveller, is it? And one wiv a fine sword to boot, wot any one of us might be proud to own, eh?'

'I warn you, sirrah, keep your hands off Excalibur Junior!' you exclaim proudly, recognizing these vagabonds for the brigands they are.

"Ere that, lads,' grins the leader. 'This one thinks to give us trouble!'

At which point all three begin to giggle.

Only one way to get past these louts, Pip, and that's to teach them a severe lesson: like death. If you elect to fight, each Brigand has 15 LIFE POINTS, hits on 5 or better and does +2 damage with the short sword. You will have to slaughter all three of them before you can continue north at 79. All three belong to the Brigand's Union and are consequently immune to a Friendly Reaction, even if magically induced. Fooling them in any way will not work either, by reason of their experience: even if you were to feign death, they will not let you pass. In short, the only way north is to kill them. But there is nothing to stop you running back south, of course, since you're faster than they are and will easily escape. If you do so, you will eventually reach the fork in the road where you can go south at 37, south west at 70 or examine the hanging corpse at 10.

Only one way through! :rolldice:

Pip's initiative roll: 6 + 3 = 9
Brigand 1's initiative roll: 4 + 1 = 5
Brigand 2's initiative roll: 1 + 6 = 7
Brigand 3's initiative roll: 2 + 1 = 3

Pip attacks! 4 + 3 = 7, Brigand 1 is hit for 3 + 5 = 8 LIFE POINTS and is down to 7.
Brigand 2 attacks! 1 + 2 = 3, a swing and a miss.
Brigand 1 attacks! 1 + 5 = 6, Pip is hit for 1 + 2 - 2 = 1 LIFE POINT and is down to 26.
Brigand 3 attacks! 6 + 1 = 7, Pip is hit for 2 + 2 - 2 = 2 LIFE POINTS and is down to 24.

Pip attacks! 6 + 6 = 12, Brigand 1 is hit for 8 + 5 = 13 LIFE POINTS and is no more.
Brigand 2 attacks! 3 + 3 = 6, Pip is hit for 1 + 2 - 2 = 1 LIFE POINT and is down to 25.
Brigand 3 attacks! 5 + 5 = 10, Pip is hit for 5 + 2 - 2 = 5 LIFE POINTS and is down to 20.

Pip attacks! 5 + 5 = 10, Brigand 2 is hit for 6 + 5 = 11 LIFE POINTS, is down to 4 and is knocked out.
Brigand 3 attacks! 6 + 2 = 8, Pip is hit for 3 + 2 - 2 = 3 LIFE POINTS and is down to 17.

Pip attacks! 3 + 5 = 8, Brigand 3 is hit for 4 + 5 = 9 LIFE POINTS and is down to 6.
Brigand 3 attacks! 3 + 3 = 6, Pip is hit for 1 + 2 - 2 = 1 LIFE POINT and is down to 16.

Pip attacks! 4 + 1 = 5, Brigand 3 is hit for 1 + 5 = 6 LIFE POINTS and the fight is over.

And our reward for defeating these dudes is...

Section 79 posted:

Some fight, Pip! And quite worthwhile too, since each of the three brigands was carrying 500 gold pieces which have now become your property.

That's the good news. The bad news is that just around the next comer, the road has been completely blocked by a recent rockfall, so your only option is to return south to the fork.

And there you may continue south at 37, go south west at 70 or search the hanging corpse at 10.

Money! Quite a fair bit too :signings:

Now we've explored everything there is to see, except for the final two Sections at Stonehenge. First comes 57.

Section 57 posted:

You are approaching a vast trilithon Gateway - and a bit of action, by the look of it. A shimmering mist fills the space between the granite uprights and within it stands a towering figure, arms crossed over his massive chest, a club as big as a tree trunk in his right hand, frowning like thunder and generally making you feel as if you'd just climbed up a beanstalk.

'Where is my cherry blossom?' asks the figure in a voice that reverberates across the plain.

Not just a giant, but a giant nutter. Still, you may be carrying a bit of cherry blossom, in which case give it to him quick and zip on to 132. If you fancy trying to pass the Giant without the blossom, you'll have a bit of a scrap on your hands. He has 499 LIFE POINTS (and count yourself lucky it wasn't more), strikes on 3 or better and does +15 damage with his club. Magic might beat him, if you have any, but even the most potent death spell will only render him briefly unconscious. If you want to risk it, have a go. Should he kill you, go to 14. Should you succeed in rendering him unconscious or otherwise magically incapacitated, turn very carefully to 144. Your final (and probably most sensible) option is to go back to your Plan and pick another destination.

Aren't you glad we visited Camilla's side of the henge first?

Section 132 posted:

'Thank you,' says the Giant. 'I adore cherry blossom. Take this and pass through the Gateway.'

'This' turns out to be a scroll on which is written:

DSVM (ZMW RU!) BLF YVHG GSV NLMHGVI,
KOZXV TLOWVM WRHX LM ZOGZI ZMW
HGZMW YZXP ZMW TL GL ULIGB GSIW!

Keep the scroll carefully and step through the Gateway, which transports you directly to 72.

Alright, final section! Maybe we'll find Excalibur right next to the entrance to the Kingdom and we'll be able to get this over with quickly!

Section 72 posted:

The great stones of the henge loom all around you. Before you is a flat granite slab laid out to form a massive altar. And on the altar...

You don't really want to know what's on the altar, do you Pip? You can always go back to your Plan and try another destination. Or slip back to Merlin's House for more supplies. Or something. But if you insist on facing the appalling white faced and long fanged creature even now rising up from that altar, turn to 120.

Well, what shall we do? This looks like it could be bad, better to go in well prepared.

Pip's Stat Block posted:

LOCATION: Giants' Dance
LIFE POINTS: 16 / 28+1
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 4
INVENTORY: EJ (hits on a 4, +5 damage), breastplate (-2 damage), healing potion (16 doses, restores a double dice roll of LIFE POINTS), small golden disc, scap of parchment, bunch of yarrow, bolt through neck instructions, right of passage token, ~~sprig of cherry blossom~~, Coded scroll
STATUS EFFECTS: Bolt through neck (automatically kills enemies who roll a 12 against us unless they have surprise)
TREASURE: 1500 Gold Pieces

# ? Mar 7, 2016 19:58

Explosions: Apr 20, 2015

Small typo: The last W in the cryptogram is almost certainly meant to be two Vs:

WHEN (AND IF!) YOU BEST THE MONSTER,
PLACE GOLDEN DISC ON ALTAR AND
STAND BACK AND GO TO FORTY THREE!

Which, I guess means we fight?

# ? Mar 7, 2016 20:35

Carbon dioxide: Oct 9, 2012

Sounds to me it's time to prepare our poetic creativity again.

# ? Mar 7, 2016 20:44

inflatablefish: Oct 24, 2010

Appalling? White face? Long fangs? I get the sneaking suspicion that we've just been Halloweened.
So let's turn to 120 and greet our old fiend.

# ? Mar 7, 2016 20:46

Mikl: Nov 8, 2009; Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

Explosions posted:

Small typo: The last W in the cryptogram is almost certainly meant to be two Vs:

WHEN (AND IF!) YOU BEST THE MONSTER,
PLACE GOLDEN DISC ON ALTAR AND
STAND BACK AND GO TO FORTY THREE!

Which, I guess means we fight?

I've double checked and it's most definitely a W. Then again, the cryptogram only makes sense if it's two Vs instead, so :iiam:

(Maybe a mistake in the OCR of my e-copy of the book? I don't have the actual physical book handy to check it.)

Anyways, let's see what 120 has in store for us!

Section 120 B (Special) posted:

'Greetings, Visitor to this place
How glad I am to see your face -'

Oh, no, it can't be!

'For 1 am lonely on this stone
Which tends to freeze one's backside to the bone.'

Oh yes, it is!

'And while that has made me
Short-tempered as you can see
I will accept your visit is well meant
Provided you have the proper equipment.'

Only one creature on earth could mouth verse quite as bad as that - the incredible Poetic Fiend, whose name is a living legend among adventurers the length and breadth of Avalon!

'And know exactly what to do,' (the Fiend continues)
'Otherwise you'll be in a stew!'

Summoning all your wits you quickly extemporize your reply:

'Oh, mighty Poet,
I do know it.
As to equipment.
It will serve
To take me just as far as I deserve!'

'Well said!' exclaims the Fiend. He approaches you with hand outstretched. 'But I'll still have to assure myself you have everything you need: a small, special gold coin and the coded instructions on how to use it.'

If you have the coin and instructions turn to 6. If not, you are in deep trouble since (a) you are going to have to go back and look for them and (b) the Fiend will require a Bribe of 500 gold pieces in addition when you return here.

(Trying to fight your way through to 6 is useless, incidentally, since the Fiend will simply rhyme you to death. Friendly reactions won't work either - the Fiend is friendly enough, but still won't let you through.)

To search for your missing bits and bobs, your best bet is to go right back to the fork in the road from whence you may follow the Roman road north, by going to 4, take the southern fork at 37, the southwestern fork at 70, pick some of the yarrow at 18, or examine the smelly corpse at 10.

Actually, we do have both the coin and the instructions. Assuming the small golden disc is the coin, which Camilla seemed to think it is. So let's go to 6.

Section 6 posted:

'Yes,' murmurs the Fiend, 'this all seems to be in order. Now, simply follow the instructions on your scroll - and the best of luck!'

You heard the Fiend. Follow the instructions . . . if you've managed to decode them.

Thanks to our good friend Explosions, we know that the answer lies at Section 43!

Section 43 posted:

That's torn it! As soon as you follow the instructions, the great stones around you begin to glow!

At once a rumbling noise begins beneath your feet, for all the world like an earthquake or a team of giants dancing.

'What's going on here?' you ask the Poetic Fiend in sudden alarm.

'Sorry,' he says, 'just remembered a previous appointment!' And disappears without so much as a farewell ode.

The ground begins to rise and fall beneath your feet like an angry sea. The glow becomes brighter and brighter until you are half blinded. A great voice echoes through the air:

'Reverse the numbers of the mounds to find that which you seek. But beware. The wrong mound means... DEATH!'

The great voice dies away. The ground slowly reverts back to solidity. The bright glow dims, then disappears.

Leaving you to solve the Mystery of the Message of the Voice if you are going to get very much further.

Pip's Stat Block posted:

LOCATION: Giants' Dance
LIFE POINTS: 16 / 28+1
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 5
INVENTORY: EJ (hits on a 4, +5 damage), breastplate (-2 damage), healing potion (16 doses, restores a double dice roll of LIFE POINTS), small golden disc, scap of parchment, bunch of yarrow, bolt through neck instructions, right of passage token, Coded scroll
STATUS EFFECTS: Bolt through neck (automatically kills enemies who roll a 12 against us unless they have surprise)
TREASURE: 1500 Gold Pieces

# ? Mar 7, 2016 23:29

inflatablefish: Oct 24, 2010

I'm mildly disappointed that the Fiend didn't require us to come up with some sort of rhyme.
Like every other time.
In any case, it would seem that inverting the numbers of those sections of Stonehenge in which we didn't find anything is the next thing to do.
So let's invert section 26 and head to sixty-two.

# ? Mar 8, 2016 00:11

Mikl: Nov 8, 2009; Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

Section 62 posted:

Looks as though you've solved the mystery, Pip - this is definitely one of the mounds. At first glance it looks just like an ordinary mound. But as you circle round it, you find set into one side a heavy, brass-bound wooden door.

Cautiously you try the handle and discover that it opens easily, revealing a flight of worn stone steps descending into darkness.

But will you take them? The voice warned that the wrong mound led to death. The choice is yours, of course. Go down the steps to 95. Or look for the other mound and see what happens there.

I'll spare you the effort of checking the other mound at 51 and tell you that it's exactly the same as this one, only with two differences:

1. It doesn't have an illustration of the door;
2. The steps down lead to 105 instead of 95.

One is clearly the way forward, but which one?

Pip's Stat Block posted:

LOCATION: Giants' Dance
LIFE POINTS: 16 / 28+1
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 6
INVENTORY: EJ (hits on a 4, +5 damage), breastplate (-2 damage), healing potion (16 doses, restores a double dice roll of LIFE POINTS), small golden disc, scap of parchment, bunch of yarrow, bolt through neck instructions, right of passage token, Coded scroll
STATUS EFFECTS: Bolt through neck (automatically kills enemies who roll a 12 against us unless they have surprise)
TREASURE: 1500 Gold Pieces

# ? Mar 8, 2016 23:46

inflatablefish: Oct 24, 2010

Okay, let's work this out logically:

The only difference between the sections is that one of them has a picture.
A picture is worth a thousand words.
A thousand words is enough to make a reasonable-length essay.
Taken phonetically, the word "essay" gives us the letters S A.
SA is a common abbreviation for the city of San Antonio.
San Antonio is named after Saint Anthony of Padua.
Saint Anthony of Padua is the patron saint of lost people.
We are lost. (I personally have been lost since about Book 3.)

Therefore: the entry with the picture must be the one we need to take. It's the only possible conclusion.

Onward to 95!

# ? Mar 9, 2016 00:39

theamazingchris: Feb 1, 2016; : D

inflatablefish posted:

Okay, let's work this out logically:

The only difference between the sections is that one of them has a picture.
A picture is worth a thousand words.
A thousand words is enough to make a reasonable-length essay.
Taken phonetically, the word "essay" gives us the letters S A.
SA is a common abbreviation for the city of San Antonio.
San Antonio is named after Saint Anthony of Padua.
Saint Anthony of Padua is the patron saint of lost people.
We are lost. (I personally have been lost since about Book 3.)

Therefore: the entry with the picture must be the one we need to take. It's the only possible conclusion.

Onward to 95!

Unassailable logic. I agree. 95!

# ? Mar 9, 2016 01:32

Glazius: Jul 22, 2007; Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.; Clapping Larry

inflatablefish posted:

Okay, let's work this out logically:

The only difference between the sections is that one of them has a picture.
A picture is worth a thousand words.
A thousand words is enough to make a reasonable-length essay.
Taken phonetically, the word "essay" gives us the letters S A.
SA is a common abbreviation for the city of San Antonio.
San Antonio is named after Saint Anthony of Padua.
Saint Anthony of Padua is the patron saint of lost people.
We are lost. (I personally have been lost since about Book 3.)

Therefore: the entry with the picture must be the one we need to take. It's the only possible conclusion.

Onward to 95!

Contrariwise, the wrong mound means "death". Now, if we reverse the letters in "death" like they were a cipher message, we get "wvzgs", which adds up to 93.

You'd think this is a red herring, but recall that the cipher itself had a trailing W instead of two trailing v's, meaning it was off by one, twice. And 93 + 2 = 95.

Thus, clearly 95 is the wrong mound and we must proceed instead to 105.

# ? Mar 10, 2016 01:16

Mikl: Nov 8, 2009; Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

Section 95 posted:

The steps lead downwards into a 20' x 20' stone lined chamber, with no discernible exit. On the wall opposite the stairs, someone has scrawled a message.

Will you approach the wall to read the message? If so, go to 156. If not, you may still return to your Plan and pick another destination.

Pip's Stat Block posted:

LOCATION: Underneath Giants' Dance
LIFE POINTS: 16 / 28+1
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 6
INVENTORY: EJ (hits on a 4, +5 damage), breastplate (-2 damage), healing potion (16 doses, restores a double dice roll of LIFE POINTS), small golden disc, scap of parchment, bunch of yarrow, bolt through neck instructions, right of passage token, Coded scroll
STATUS EFFECTS: Bolt through neck (automatically kills enemies who roll a 12 against us unless they have surprise)
TREASURE: 1500 Gold Pieces

# ? Mar 11, 2016 20:40

Russ L: Feb 26, 2011

Read it! Pip is a studious adventurer, who loves reading.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 20:44

FredMSloniker: Jan 2, 2008; Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

Sure, let's read it. It might have a useful clue! Like I prepared Explosive Runes this morning.

# ? Mar 12, 2016 06:37

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# ? May 3, 2024 13:28

Mikl: Nov 8, 2009; Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

Section 156 posted:

As you step on to the floor of the chamber a sudden grinding noise erupts behind you. You swing round, just in time to see the stairs withdrawing upwards, sealing the room completely and leaving you trapped.

With an oath too obscene and terrible to record here (except in code as follows: LS YOLD!) you turn back to the wall and the scrawled message. It reads:

'Mortal, you have chosen unwisely. Only your wits can save you now. The number you must know is 3. The message is:

ZJDG TFVXIT MPTF XE KPKT.'

If your wits can't save you, wait patiently. You will eventually starve to death, at which time you may safely go to 14.

Even if you can't manage to decode the message there's still hope. Think. There is a way to get the key to the cypher. It's been mentioned before.

Now, what shall we do?

Pip's Stat Block posted:

LOCATION: Underneath Giants' Dance
LIFE POINTS: 16 / 28+1
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 6
INVENTORY: EJ (hits on a 4, +5 damage), breastplate (-2 damage), healing potion (16 doses, restores a double dice roll of LIFE POINTS), small golden disc, scap of parchment, bunch of yarrow, bolt through neck instructions, right of passage token, Coded scroll
STATUS EFFECTS: Bolt through neck (automatically kills enemies who roll a 12 against us unless they have surprise)
TREASURE: 1500 Gold Pieces

# ? Mar 12, 2016 11:36

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Let's Play the Grailquest series! (If this kills you, go to 14.)

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