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What gun are you going to use in this Call of Duty?
The good one that everyone else uses
Another, different gun
View Results
 
  • Locked thread
Stux
Nov 17, 2006

they should just cancel this embarrassment of a game now and rerelease mw2 for ps4 instead

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Supersonic Shine
Oct 13, 2012
Sad that the thread titles aren't Cards Against Humanity refs.

A Big Black Op.

A Bigger, Blacker Op.

The Biggest, Blackest Op.

fit em all up in there
Oct 10, 2006

Violencia

I should prob wait a month to see if any goons will still be playing this on PS4.

Stux
Nov 17, 2006

Dirt Taco Scuba posted:

I should prob wait a month to see if any goons will still be playing this on PS4.

what else would they be playing it on

JetpackJeezus
Jul 27, 2011

Heaven Can Wait

Stux posted:

what else would they be playing it on

WiiU, obviously!

Mister Facetious
Apr 21, 2007

I think I died and woke up in L.A.,
I don't know how I wound up in this place...

:canada:

Supersonic Shine posted:

Sad that the thread titles aren't Cards Against Humanity refs.

A Big Black Op.

A Bigger, Blacker Op.

The Biggest, Blackest Op.

It's because those cards always win, while CoD hasn't had a winner in years. :haw:

beaner69
Sep 12, 2009

Dirt Taco Scuba posted:

I should prob wait a month to see if any goons will still be playing this on PS4.

The ps4 goons that told me to get it on ps4 had stopped playing by december.

Nighthand posted:

I just figured I'd post the best deal I'd seen. I'm the moron that shelled out for the AW branded bone at full price

Same

Stux posted:

advanced warfare is the best entry since modern warfare 2 and black ops is the lovely arm of the series, ghosts notwithstanding


Stux posted:

they introduces scorestreaks, ignored the amazing support/specialist additions, replaced cool earned emblems with a dumb editor and also are bad. they exist to take the bad parts of the warfare series, add in a bunch of poo poo and have that then leak into the good and correct mw/aw lineage. at least they had the good graces this time to include the Good and Innovative jetpacks from AW, which is the game I will keep playing when blops3 is out, just as I had stuck with mw3 until AWs release

Sorry about your broken brain bro.

Nighthand
Nov 4, 2009

what horror the gas

Stux posted:

youre looking at a mirror

Any of you bros know a good burn ward in Michigan? I'm pretty sure I need one now.

Mister Facetious
Apr 21, 2007

I think I died and woke up in L.A.,
I don't know how I wound up in this place...

:canada:
Just drop the body off on the Windsor side of the river. Canada'll patch him up for free before sending him on his way. :eng101:

FadedReality
Sep 5, 2007

Okurrrr?
Hi. I got so amped as gently caress from the Black Ops 3 reveal that I immediately went and bought BLOPS 2 for the PC for $20, my first COD since BLOPS 1. Since I got it I have played it 5 hours, Hardline for 10, and BF4 for 20.

While I was there I also preordered BLOPS3 for PC because I am a retarded. Thanks for having me, COD thread!

e: This was not a fakepost :pcgaming: :getin: :pcgaming:



For real, though, it plays like it always has. I really do like that I can respawn instantly, get a killcam to complain at about my bullshit death, and the chaos that the matches have always felt like. It kind of makes me want to go back and play more COD4 just to get 32+ people in a server. Some of the maps can feel kinda empty with just 12.

FadedReality fucked around with this message at 06:49 on Apr 30, 2015

bloodsacrifice
Apr 21, 2015

by Ralp

FadedReality posted:

Hi. I got so amped as gently caress from the Black Ops 3 reveal that I immediately went and bought BLOPS 2 for the PC for $20, my first COD since BLOPS 1. Since I got it I have played it 5 hours, Hardline for 10, and BF4 for 20.

While I was there I also preordered BLOPS3 for PC because I am a retarded. Thanks for having me, COD thread!

I went to the store and bought another copy of BLOPS 2 just for practice for the big day.

Mister Facetious
Apr 21, 2007

I think I died and woke up in L.A.,
I don't know how I wound up in this place...

:canada:

FadedReality posted:

Hi. I got so amped as gently caress from the Black Ops 3 reveal that I immediately went and bought BLOPS 2 for the PC for $20, my first COD since BLOPS 1. Since I got it I have played it 5 hours, Hardline for 10, and BF4 for 20.

While I was there I also preordered BLOPS3 for PC because I am a retarded. Thanks for having me, COD thread!

e: This was not a fakepost :pcgaming: :getin: :pcgaming:



For real, though, it plays like it always has. I really do like that I can respawn instantly, get a killcam to complain at about my bullshit death, and the chaos that the matches have always felt like. It kind of makes me want to go back and play more COD4 just to get 32+ people in a server. Some of the maps can feel kinda empty with just 12.

lol at not pre-ordering digital via Steam grampa. :corsair:

That said, talk to Lazyfire for PC goon crew hook up.

FadedReality
Sep 5, 2007

Okurrrr?

Mister Macys posted:

lol at not pre-ordering digital via Steam grampa. :corsair:

That said, talk to Lazyfire for PC goon crew hook up.

I told myself if the beta comes and it's poo poo I'll at least be able to back out and buy myself some lunch with my preorder money all lies

Blue Raider
Sep 2, 2006

god damnit where is my world at war 2

bloodsacrifice
Apr 21, 2015

by Ralp

Blue Raider posted:

god damnit where is my world at war 2

The trend is hyper mobility which is a great mechanic but doesnt make sense for WW2.

But gently caress it alt reality Nazi exoskeletons popshotting with the k98 all day

Supersonic Shine
Oct 13, 2012

bloodsacrifice posted:

The trend is hyper mobility which is a great mechanic but doesnt make sense for WW2.

But gently caress it alt reality Nazi exoskeletons popshotting with the k98 all day
Next COD bad guys should be National Bolshevists. Communism and Fascism all wrapped up in one dumb, paradoxical package.

Mister Facetious
Apr 21, 2007

I think I died and woke up in L.A.,
I don't know how I wound up in this place...

:canada:
Basque separatists, so they have an excuse to do a set piece with that solar powerplant Spain has.

beaner69
Sep 12, 2009
Next cod bad guys should spawn on one side of the map and good guys should spawn on the other side of the map. And then go kill each other around the middle.

Nighthand
Nov 4, 2009

what horror the gas

Day 0 patch that changes the enemies to americans just to troll everyone.

Bumper Stickup
Jan 7, 2012

Mmm... Offshore Toast!


Grimey Drawer

Nighthand posted:

Day 0 patch that changes the enemies to americans just to troll everyone.

Do you have any idea just how fast I'd download that? I'd be all over that.

Stux
Nov 17, 2006

Nighthand posted:

Day 0 patch that changes the enemies to americans just to troll everyone.

america was already the bad guys in ghosts though

Nighthand
Nov 4, 2009

what horror the gas

I skipped ghosts due to being poor at the time.

Stux
Nov 17, 2006

Nighthand posted:

I skipped ghosts due to being poor at the time.

america nukes the Middle East to the point where it's unusable as land and starts making eyes at South Americas oil and create a huge super weapon. south america defends itself using awful weapon, America oorah America.... space!!! Space. America. Aemeicia

Mister Facetious
Apr 21, 2007

I think I died and woke up in L.A.,
I don't know how I wound up in this place...

:canada:
enh, throw in a cloned Mecha-Guevara or his secret cyborg granddaughter, and I'd play it.

No wait. The game can be the logical extension of the militarization of The Drug War™; with a cloned Ronald Reagan, versus the last bastion of coca plantations in the Western Hemisphere.
And a Cheney-like 80 year old lich Oliver North. The Forces of Freedom will fight the unwashed browns led by-proxy from Canada by King Marc Emery. :350:

America will finally have its revenge for losing the War of 1812.

Mister Facetious fucked around with this message at 02:23 on May 1, 2015

Stux
Nov 17, 2006

Mister Macys posted:

enh, throw in a cloned Mecha-Guevara or his secret cyborg granddaughter, and I'd play it.

No wait. The game can be the logical extension of the militarization of The Drug War™; with a cloned Ronald Reagan, versus the last bastion of coca plantations in the Western Hemisphere.
And a Cheney-like 80 year old lich Oliver North. The Forces of Freedom will fight the unwashed browns led by-proxy from Canada by King Marc Emery. :350:

America will finally have its revenge for losing the War of 1812.

actually they were led by venezuela

Mister Facetious
Apr 21, 2007

I think I died and woke up in L.A.,
I don't know how I wound up in this place...

:canada:
Don't ruin my dream of a game based on the movie Canadian Bacon. :qq:

limited
Dec 10, 2005
Limited Sanity

Stux posted:

they should just cancel this embarrassment of a game now and rerelease mw2 for ps4 instead
No joke, I would rebuy MW3 if they remastered it for PS4. The campaign is just like playing a Michael Bay movie. No idea what the gently caress is going on, but EXPLOSIONS everywhere.

Hopefully Treyarch will continue to follow their usual formula of taking the other studio's game, and making GBS threads on it from a great height with the improvements they make.

Absorbs Smaller Goons
Mar 16, 2006

Stubear St. Pierre posted:

"Wow," you all say to yourselves as you gently soar back to Earth in your exo-suit, teeth still grinding from the action packed orgiastic riot of carnage that was Call of Duty: Root Beer. "That was loving full of epic win," you mutter to yourself in your gravelly Batman gamer voice. It's been like 5 months. You've jumped hard. You've broken poo poo in real life with how hard you were jumping. You chuckled at that joke I made about the bicuriator even though it didn't really land. You became an MLG pro with all that MLG competition. You've won loving medals in clan wars that were the only thing you've cared about for literally minutes on end last December or whenever they started working before you quit. Your Twitch stream is all full of subscribers and money and chicks flashing their tits at you and poo poo. There's a plaque on your wall that just says "What an epic loving almost half a year." Next to the other 8 of them.

But you hunger for more. Sure, the series began with a bang, with COD4, and has matured into a barely recognizable behemoth of deep gameplay, dedicated servers, and numbers, the numbers, so many mother loving numbers it would make Bill Nye poo poo a trillion digit prime. So where does the series go next? What unexpected twist awaits us? Time and time again we've clutched our fedoras (actually mine is a trilby) as we were swept away by an action packed pack of action that we played for what seemed like hours for an entire week. It's spawned like six clans, numerous Google spreadsheets, a Steam group that surprisingly few people have bothered to leave in the past two years, and over 80% of the threads posted in Games in the past 10 years. It's the most popular game on PC, ever.

And now it's time for me to briefly set aside my new subscription to HBO GO, stop bitching about my commute and software development to people who don't care, and open up a new tab in my browser while trying to ignore the thumbnail of a jacked black dude sucking his own dick that's been on the front page of xnxx.com for the past like 8 days. Now I bring you nerds this year's installment, of the Call of the Duty:



Press X to bark, motherfuckers.

We begin this year, as always, with three questions:

Q: DUUAAHHH DUURRH I BUY CALL OF DUTY?
A: You're going to do it anyway, or someone is going to buy it for you like last year and I'm gonna feel bad for not playing it

Q: Something else?
A: Let's just take a look at the facts:

Facts so hard that the Earth's mantle shatters beneath them


Game modes so new, they will tear your rear end in a top hat inside out, rotate it 90 degrees and stick it back in so you will poo poo sideways


Servers so dedicated, they make Franciscan monks look like the noob shitlords they are


Some pork I made last year, god I love this pic


MLG Pro goons absolutely crushing that pussy


And as unbelievable as it may sound, all of that is just random poo poo I had in my My Pictures folder. There's loving more.

The cold, hard facts
The reality is that this installment promises to be not only the most tactical installment yet, but also the most epic. Preliminary data confirms this, and by cross-indexing with price, we see that this is the most Epicness per dollar available to the American or European or, heh, Australian consumer in recent memory:



Call of Duty: Whatever promises to once again turn the gaming community on its head, thereby possibly turning it upright, but it just doesn't give a poo poo anymore after having been turned on its head so frequently and brutally by the breathtaking innovation seen by the now 5 or 6 separate development studios struggling desperately to slap a new set of menus on the same slop of poo poo game from 2008 without their brutalized and ashamed bastardization of the Quake 3 engine completely disintegrating into a pile of tactical feces. The entire concept of Guns In A Video Game Wherein You Hold Aforementioned Guns In Front Of You At Sort Of An Angle has been shaken up to the point of insanity, like a tasteless shaken baby joke that I'm immediately regretting but not enough to hit the backspace key. In between violent seizures of tactical carnage and fast-paced lobby simulation, you will experience a subdural hematoma of explosive action as you fire a gun that isn't anything like an M4A1 and curse the noob shitlords who stand in opposition as they use another gun that's like an AK47 only not, because clearly both that gun and their connection is superior.

New for this edition is a map that was inspired by another map that sucked then also, as well as team-based matches to the death. A killstreak that is sort of fun but not worth getting 17 kills for, but does last long enough for you to remember the Chopper Gunner from Modern Warfare 2. Team deathmatch. A level where something happens, or sometimes doesn't, but basically always does. Tiny pieces of paper poo poo floating through the air everywhere on every map, because war is hell. Rubble. Match-based team deathplay. The color brown. Possibly some undergrowth, and a corner where you can camp. Sixty dollars you could have spent on a tank of gas, and had some money left over, because we are living in an incredible time. The world around you, seemingly gray and dull, as a husk of your former self huddles over your Xbox One and is brought momentarily back to life in a flash of nostalgia as the number "100" pops up on your screen and you remember a simpler time, when people you liked actually played this dumb poo poo, whose voices are now but a ghostly echo reverberating through your nearly empty mind with words of switching to GTA V or Titanfall that remain now as ever nothing more than an ethereal gust of hope that will never come to be. A single-player portion of a multi-billion dollar franchise where you actually play as a German Shepherd and press X to bark. More team deathmatch. No UAVs, as they're simply too powerful.

And blackness.

That's right. In addition to being the most tactical, one will find that these ops are also 50% blacker than previous Ops encountered by the MLG pro community:


There is, of course, much, much more to come. I plan to update this thread with the factual fervor with which I updated the A&W thread--meaning once, but with a lot of words. But alas, I'm exhausted, and I need to post this before some loving nerd who takes this retarded poo poo seriously posts a thread and I have to wait around until October for it to be totally abandoned and Wazzit to tell me to post another.

So with that, let's all cozy up in our leopard print slankets, throw some pillows around until the bedroom is a mess of feathers and giggles and semen, and suit the gently caress up for Call of Duty

Black Cops (Three)

An amazing OP for a terrible game.

If only they put as much effort into the game as you did into the OP.

Admiral Bosch
Apr 19, 2007
Who is Admiral Aken Bosch, and what is that old scoundrel up to?
^^ seriously. I haven't played/owned a call of duty game since either MW2 or Blops 1, whichever came out after the other, and that was the funniest thing I've read on the forums in months.

Mister Facetious
Apr 21, 2007

I think I died and woke up in L.A.,
I don't know how I wound up in this place...

:canada:
The OP accurately represents the apathy and cynicism of the majority of longtime CoD goons.

Mill Village
Jul 27, 2007

David Vonderhaar has been dropping some tidbits about this game on his twitter. He is emphasizing that the multiplayer is in Pre-Pre-Alpha, so these things are subject to change (especially the perks).

-Ghost will again only hide you from UAVs while you are moving.
-A Scorestreak like the VSAT is returning. He emphasized the like part, so its probably another version of the Advanced UAV from MW3.
-Wall-running is on set lines and you cannot change your elevation.
-Scorestreaks cannot be assigned by class. He says it encourages risk/reward.
-Melee attacks are a 2 hit kill unless you equip the Knife.
-There will be fall damage
-Flak Jacket is back and it currently works like it did in BLOPS 2.
-No toughness
-Scavenger is back (no details beyond that)
-C4 cannot be detonated until they land.
-:siren:You can see your feet.:siren:

Gothmog1065
May 14, 2009
I might be one of the few who actually preferred Blops over the MW series. I am excited for this game and actual real zombies not that knockoff poo poo I never played.

beaner69
Sep 12, 2009

Mill Village posted:

David Vonderhaar has been dropping some tidbits about this game on his twitter. He is emphasizing that the multiplayer is in Pre-Pre-Alpha, so these things are subject to change (especially the perks).

-Ghost will again only hide you from UAVs while you are moving.
-A Scorestreak like the VSAT is returning. He emphasized the like part, so its probably another version of the Advanced UAV from MW3.
-Wall-running is on set lines and you cannot change your elevation.
-Scorestreaks cannot be assigned by class. He says it encourages risk/reward.
-Melee attacks are a 2 hit kill unless you equip the Knife.
-There will be fall damage
-Flak Jacket is back and it currently works like it did in BLOPS 2.
-No toughness
-Scavenger is back (no details beyond that)
-C4 cannot be detonated until they land.
-:siren:You can see your feet.:siren:

Vsat is perfect as is, 2 hit melee is pretty awesome and I thank kamisama for that, streaks per class should be in, c4 changes are stupid as poo poo.

BrokenKnees
Aug 28, 2008

Ow.
I'll take the making GBS threads on C4 if it means we can get an honest attempt to stop quickscoping.

CaptainJuan
Oct 15, 2008

Thick. Juicy. Tender.

Imagine cutting into a Barry White Song.

"Mill Village" posted:

-C4 cannot be detonated until they land.

Nooooooooooo

Mister Facetious
Apr 21, 2007

I think I died and woke up in L.A.,
I don't know how I wound up in this place...

:canada:

Mill Village posted:

David Vonderhaar has been dropping some tidbits about this game on his twitter. He is emphasizing that the multiplayer is in Pre-Pre-Alpha, so these things are subject to change (especially the perks).

-Melee attacks are a 2 hit kill unless you equip the Knife.


:vince:

Nighthand
Nov 4, 2009

what horror the gas

Melee change cool, C4 change bleh, wallrun is going to be a dumb gimmick anyways.

Seeing your own feet is only cool if you have a boot stomp like in AW. Or one of the characters has transforming gun feet they can use while hovering. Either is acceptable.

Javes
May 6, 2012

ASK ME ABOUT APPEARING OFFLINE SO I DON'T HAVE TO TELL FRIENDS THEY'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR MY VIDEO GAME TEAM.
C4 change is good, there was no other reason to use any other equipment. 2 hit melee is amazing. No toughness is good (crutch perks are dumb). Now if only goons would play a CoD for more than a month :(

Bettyspagh3tt1
Jan 24, 2009
It's not our fault the last two were horrible. poo poo I played ghosts for at least 3 months even though it sucked. A lot of us played BO2 straight into ghosts.

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Stux
Nov 17, 2006

Mill Village posted:

David Vonderhaar has been dropping some tidbits about this game on his twitter. He is emphasizing that the multiplayer is in Pre-Pre-Alpha, so these things are subject to change (especially the perks).

-Ghost will again only hide you from UAVs while you are moving.
-A Scorestreak like the VSAT is returning. He emphasized the like part, so its probably another version of the Advanced UAV from MW3.
-Wall-running is on set lines and you cannot change your elevation.
-Scorestreaks cannot be assigned by class. He says it encourages risk/reward.
-Melee attacks are a 2 hit kill unless you equip the Knife.
-There will be fall damage
-Flak Jacket is back and it currently works like it did in BLOPS 2.
-No toughness
-Scavenger is back (no details beyond that)
-C4 cannot be detonated until they land.
-:siren:You can see your feet.:siren:

these are all terrible. 2 hit melee? jesus christ :cripes:

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