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>find a ton of porn streaming sites and leave comments congratulating the male performer after a job well done
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May 6, 2015 12:18
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open curtains to see if horrible sunlight still exists
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May 6, 2015 12:23
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> post on the Somethingawful dot com Forums
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May 6, 2015 12:32
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> do the peanut butter jelly dance
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May 6, 2015 17:06
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> eat breakfast
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May 7, 2015 01:37
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>find supplies to clean up your disgusting poo poo mess
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May 7, 2015 01:53
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>Jump in the laundry pile and make clothes angels, completely disregarding the couch-corpse
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May 7, 2015 02:27
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TheLemonOfIchabod posted:>call mom
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May 7, 2015 02:34
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SaltyJesus posted:> post on the Somethingawful dot com Forums Dr Cheeto posted:>investigate hilarious thread Hogge Wild posted:> check our username  You sit down at your computer and examine the hilarious thread you were about to post. You laugh out loud at the masterstroke of comedy you have crafted. You also smile at your username "Cuckminster Fuller" because it references an hilarious and popular meme and is also the name of a scientist whose name you heard on The Big Bang Theory (a show you hate; you only watch so you can post mean things about it). A misanthrope posted:>check out Facebook to see what that BITCH who put you in the friendzone is doing  On a whim, you decide to visit the facebook page of Emily Cutemeyer, your longtime crush. She is easily your model of the ideal woman and also a total bitch for ignoring all the favors you've done for her over the years and choosing to date a jerk when she has a nice guy like you in front of her. But you've got her number this time. She recently posted that she was looking for a rare Amiibo figurine that you happen to posses, so you mustered all your cunning and was able to convince her to come by and pick it up from your place. That's when you'll finally make your move...
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May 7, 2015 02:57
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>Clean up as best you can, and light a candle to set a romantic mood.
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May 7, 2015 02:59
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Retail Slave posted:>Clean up as best you can, and light a candle to set a romantic mood. especially behind the couch
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May 7, 2015 03:02
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> Say it's in your room and then when she gets there, ask her if she wants a backrub first, keep her from leaving at all costs
Ruggan fucked around with this message at 03:04 on May 7, 2015 |
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May 7, 2015 03:02
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dont forget to employ the DENNIS system D- Demonstrate Value E- Engage Physically N- Nurture Dependence N- Neglect Emotionally I- Inspire Hope S- Separate Entirely
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May 7, 2015 03:05
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Ruggan posted:dont forget to employ the DENNIS system This plus prep a fentanyl chloroform cocktail as a backup
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May 7, 2015 03:08
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>floss (teeth/put on jewelry)
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May 7, 2015 03:10
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Ruggan posted:> Say it's in your room and then when she gets there, ask her if she wants a backrub first, keep her from leaving at all costs are you loving kidding me, with all the socks full of semen and the poo poo, she'll be overwhelmed by the stench > lug your printer over to her house
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May 7, 2015 08:34
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Leave your room, go out on street and steal the nearest car. You'll need a disposable getaway car for the robbery
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May 7, 2015 08:38
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>rob the belongings of the body behind the couch, dead or alive.
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May 7, 2015 08:45
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Applewhite posted:
>Confront her with your disapproval of her current boyfriend. Begin with "Can we talk? I think you owe me that much."
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May 7, 2015 08:47
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Applewhite posted:
5
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May 7, 2015 08:52
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EngineerSean posted:open curtains to see if horrible sunlight still exists Retail Slave posted:>Clean up as best you can, and light a candle to set a romantic mood.  Opening the curtains lets horrible natural light into the room, or at least what little filters down into the alley outside your apartment. It's enough to reveal the mess and some other details that were hidden by the darkness. You don't have any scented candles because they aggravate your athsma, but you start gathering up armloads of trash in a vain attempt to make your goon nest somewhat presentable.
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May 8, 2015 01:04
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>Don't look behind the couch at the bleeding corpse, there's no time > Ask the forums for romantic advice
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May 8, 2015 01:07
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> Use the pizza box and caramel macchiato cups to fashion yourself a sweet set of Samurai armor. Continue ignoring bleeding corpse behind couch.
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May 8, 2015 01:12
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> spend some time organizing the cords under your desk i mean come on
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May 8, 2015 01:14
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>Change into new shorts, use the rest of the pile of clothes to form a makeshift rug to cover up the poo poo stains. Cover the feet of the body with the soiled shorts, then cover that with the pizza box.
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May 8, 2015 01:24
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We're making him get poo poo everywhere 
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May 8, 2015 01:29
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Set the Bitcoin rig to "Low" to get that purr right, even if it is costing you money 
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May 8, 2015 01:30
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Then quickly friend user "Professor Shark" on SA and we can crack this case together
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May 8, 2015 01:30
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>Jack off onto the Rare Amiibo
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May 8, 2015 01:39
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Applewhite posted:
Is that a fleshlight by the door? We should jack off before the pretty lady shows up so were not nervous.
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May 8, 2015 01:45
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>check that bleeding corpse to make sure it's dead
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May 8, 2015 01:55
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CaptainSarcastic posted:> Use the pizza box and caramel macchiato cups to fashion yourself a sweet set of Samurai armor. Continue ignoring bleeding corpse behind couch. Blurry Gray Thing posted:>Don't look behind the couch at the bleeding corpse, there's no time  It takes you a while, but you are able to fashion an historically accurate set of samurai armor out of a discarded pizza box and several used caramel macchiato cups, thus simultaneously solving your mess problem and ensuring you're dressed to impress Emily when she arrives. While you wait, you decide to check GBS for romantic advice. There's no need to post a new thread, however, as you posted one earlier. You check to see if there are any new comments... 
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May 8, 2015 02:32
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>Post another "hilarious" caramel macchiato thread
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May 8, 2015 02:36
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DoctorStrangelove posted:>Post another "hilarious" caramel macchiato thread   You post your latest masterpiece. Applewhite fucked around with this message at 02:47 on May 8, 2015 |
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May 8, 2015 02:44
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Fashion cape from blinds
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May 8, 2015 02:53
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>go get some wine to get her drunk, then open it and drink 2/3 of it immediately
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May 8, 2015 03:08
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>accidentally grab the wrong cup and drink half of a 2-week old caramel macchiato. Get violently ill again.
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May 8, 2015 03:21
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>Use grain alcohol to dissolve the Phenazepam powder you got from your TCC buddy. You were always good at science and stuff, so you should be able to make sure it's not too strong.
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May 8, 2015 04:07
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> pull out your stubble manually instead of shaving
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May 8, 2015 04:20
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| # ? May 3, 2024 01:48 |
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Investigate the god drat body please
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May 8, 2015 04:23
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