lizardman posted:

Weird analogy: say that for most of your life you told everyone in your life that you were Irish (actual Irish people reading, insert another nationality). You put on a fake Irish accent 24/7, you did stereotypical Irish things, dyed your hair and put on makeup to look more Irish, dated Irish folks (regardless if you were attracted to them or had any affection) just to keep up appearances, listened to music that came from Ireland regardless if you liked it, you went out drinking at pubs all the time even though it wasn't something you enjoyed doing because you thought it would make you seem more Irish.

Finally, one day you realize 'what the hell am I doing?' and you're finally dead-tired of pretending, and the whole thing was just so stupid and you can't believe you did it. Thing is, you have no one to turn to because nobody actually knows you. You're not even sure you know who you are yourself. Your entire life revolved around supposedly being Irish. You want to make honest friendships but you have no idea how to be honest.