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BlindSite posted:One thing I am curious of though, I've been guilty myself and I've heard people who're pretty accepting of all genders, races, sexualities etc of occasionally jokingly calling someone a "fag" or saying "that's gay" in place of "that's lame". I guess the whole south park episode on the issue kind of sums that one up in terms of not realising its insensitive but it's not meant in a hateful way to anyone gay (yes before SJW jump on me here, I know that doesn't make it ok). Is that something that gives you the shits or offends you or does it not bother you? Like the other poster said there is no consensus. For me its not hugely offensive but more vaguely off-putting. If someone says it a lot I do notice but I won't be crying myself to sleep at night over it. I think as a general rule maybe it's better to just avoid saying it? I don't know. That said, my mates keep thinking they need to apologise to me any time "fag" is mentioned but I guess I don't see it as a big enough problem that it warrants an apology from them. I have more a problem if its someone I don't know. Scudworth posted:I can only offer you an anecdotal example: This is my plan, except with my family!
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May 12, 2015 10:00
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Scudworth posted:You keep using words like "fraud" and "imposter". You have a serious complex going on here and again- you know it. I think you're trying to help here but there are a few things that aren't quite true. It is true that reasonable people will see the situation for what it is and not make judgements that the OP is worried about but you're wrong about how people in general could react. Perhaps you're lucky that you're surrounded by smart, rational people but unfortunately a lot of us aren't. In my experience "People" don't understand there is a spectrum. Sometimes it seems straight people barely understand the concept of what it means if someone is "gay", it's routinely conflated with what music you should like, where you should go, how you should act etc. You're giving people way too much credit here. Also, I'm a gay person and I didn't try straight relationships in my youth. My only advice to you, as someone who shares some of what you're feeling, is that you're the only person here that knows your situation is you. You're in the best position to make the call on coming out or not. The right answer isn't always obvious or the easiest. MonoAus fucked around with this message at 02:10 on May 13, 2015 |
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May 13, 2015 02:07
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Cunts.
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May 14, 2015 06:06
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FreudianSlippers posted:They all already know you're gay. When you come out the main response is going to be "We've known for years.". This isn't necessarily true. When I told my mates I was gay the response was "we had no idea - we feel really embarassed for all the insensitive things we've said about homos now". RacistGuidingLight posted:I couldn't talk to my dad for five years and it doesn't necessarily get better, cuz Pixar's Cartoon Candy and Smile factory doesn't have a job lined up and waiting for every homo. What?
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May 15, 2015 05:05
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I can't speak for the OP but I would say that your situation does sound similar to me, before I came out to my friends Rather than faking anything with them I would just not explain what I was thinking or feeling to the point where I distanced myself completely. I'd mentally weigh up anything that I said to see if it would logically lead back to them discovering my horrible secret. Second guessing everything that you say becomes extremely tiresome and one day I guess I just decided it was too hard to keep it up. It worked out great in the end but I still remember the most awkward feeling when I blurted it out one night. To explain a bit about coming out to family; You're always worried about what people's reactions might be. It's often easier to feel safe with the status quo rather than gamble on how you might be treated or seen after you come out. Also if you came out to friends or an acquaintance and they had a bad reaction it isn't as life shattering as if the same thing happened with a parent, they can't be replaced as easily.
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May 22, 2015 08:28
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