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You've always been annoyed that Hitler lived out his later years in luxury in Argentina, so you buy a used time machine off of Craigslist. It only has enough power for two trips to a few possible times, so you are limited when you can go to. The earliest point in Hitler's life you can reach is 1945, so you go back and kill him, making it look like a suicide. When you return, you find everything you knew was destroyed in an nuclear war. It seems that somehow killing Hitler caused John F. Kennedy to be elected instead of Richard Nixon. Towards the end of his second term, Kennedy, who had gone completely insane, launched atomic weapons at the U.K. Back to the time machine. The farthest back the time machine can get to now is November 22, 1963. You leave the time machine's cloaking device on the entire time you are there, parked an a grassy knoll where you shot from. When you return to 2015, you find that the nuclear war has been prevented, but everything is different. There's a lot more poverty in the United States. The 20 hour work week was never passed. No universal health care, either. What happened? The downfall started with the election of Ronald Reagan. Wait, what? Ronald Reagan? The actor that had his face ripped off by a chimpanzee while filming a movie back in 1951? How did killing Hitler prevent a chimp attack? You have one last chance to fix things. Your time machine has just enough power to send a telepathic message back to March 1981. It's a common form of communication in 2268, where the time travelers selling the used time machine were from, but most people not used to it would just think it's a weird thought that popped in their head. You find the perfect crazy person for the job, the guy that kidnapped and killed Jodie Foster back in 1983. You send the message: "Jodie Foster will love you forever if you kill Ronald Reagan." Well, that didn't work. And now the NRA has gone crazy. Just great. Things would have been much better had you let Hitler live.
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Jun 15, 2015 21:34
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| # ¿ May 9, 2024 15:09 |
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