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Oct 10, 2012

:siren:I CANNOT EJACULATE WITHOUT SEEING NATIVE AMERICANS BRUTALISED!:siren:

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can we arrest half the IOC next please

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Oct 10, 2012

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So it's more like "we like our corruption more than your corruption :smuggo:"

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Oct 10, 2012

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and be quicker than the people i'm mentioning in my list, obviously

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Oct 10, 2012

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Bip Roberts posted:

Right, they received bribes and dispensed sub-market-rate contracts. This is a straight-up diversion of money from FIFA's coffers to the pockets of the board members.

Yeah but if I ran a business or became an executive, my only goal would be to make disgusting amounts of money myself, because otherwise I wouldn't put up with the chore of running a business or being an executive.

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Oct 10, 2012

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Sepp Blatter explains himself: "If the smear campaign against me doesn't stop, I'll just give the next world cup to ISIS"

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Oct 10, 2012

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mdemone posted:

Constant Omari (a member of FIFA's executive committee) has just revealed that Germany bought the rights to host the 2006 World Cup. There is always more and it is always better.

Deutschland, ein Bestechungsmärchen :allears:

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Oct 10, 2012

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Radish posted:

As someone that only pays attention to soccer every 2 years at world cups, I thought that was just how it worked and was apparently legal.

If you gotta do capitalism, do it right :retrogames:

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Oct 10, 2012

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is the sepp blatter propaganda movie available online?

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Oct 10, 2012

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Grey Fox posted:

Worth noting this received applause. He also pledged to fix "things."

Nobody ever accused FIFA executives of being overly humble or aware of reality.

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Oct 10, 2012

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Peel posted:

tbh I kinda hope Blatter wins so we can go for the grand prize of arresting the sitting head of FIFA rather than letting them declare fresh start by ditching him.

:unsmigghh:

sepp baltar is going down, and the tears will be glorious

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Oct 10, 2012

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And having the largest foreign policy triumph in decades be about loving football executives (and not, say, eliminating world hunger or lucking into backing the right guys in the middle east) is pathetic.

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Oct 10, 2012

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The tree of liberty corporate compliance must be watered with the blood of tyrants executives.

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Oct 10, 2012

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PerpetualSelf posted:

People in the World Care more about football than world hunger

:agreed: humans are assholes

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Oct 10, 2012

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Lid posted:

Oh great now it involves the Russian mob.

Because of course it does. Also no wonder Putin is throwing a fit, this is delicious :unsmigghh:

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Oct 10, 2012

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VideoTapir posted:

Bernie Ecclestone.

Ich finde dieses kapitalistische System gut :retrogames:

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Oct 10, 2012

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Charlie Mopps posted:

The president of the French football association, Noël Le Graët, said in a reaction to Blatter's resignation that 'Blatter is to blame for nothing'. :lol:

And Jérôme Champagne called Blatter a martyr for sacrificing himself for the greater good. :lol:

It's a shame that "he totally threw himself on the sword despite his innocence" wouldn't be covered even by RICO charges in this case :v:

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Oct 10, 2012

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A Winner is Jew posted:

Corruption and bribery are felonies so yes they can be charged and arrested if Blatter has dirt on them accepting payments and they will absolutely serve time for that poo poo.

Money is speech, I and hear very well.

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Oct 10, 2012

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Why does America have ginormous college stadiums (and even high school stadiums :psyduck:) in the first place? Germany the rest of the world is obsessed with real football but a college pitch here is at most a lawn with white lines, some lights, and a haphazardly constructed seating area.

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Oct 10, 2012

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etalian posted:

probably because big projects provides more kickback fun for all involved parties.

FIFA/IOC also loves making countries grovel, we need a special lane so our officials won't have to be stuck in traffic or use mass transit like everyone else.

Burn Fifa to the ground :v:

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Oct 10, 2012

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SNAKES N CAKES posted:

It takes a particularly lazy mind to translate "il y a quelques semaines" as "there are few weeks". All the warning signs were there.

Yes. That is some bad knowledge of French :psyduck:

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Oct 10, 2012

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Slaan posted:

Jerome is a French name, and he is the sender, so I think it was bad knowledge of English rather than French? Or it could be both?


Attachments: "About WinZip Compressed Attachments.txt"

Who doesn't know how to open a .zip file by 2007?

Fifa executives are people who would agree the internet is a series of tubes.

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Oct 10, 2012

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ntan1 posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bB7CBxfRUaw

The epic music probably is the best part of this.

:captainpop:

I love how Jack Warner, noted rich person in a position of responsibility, thinks that freedom of speech means freedom from criticism like a redditor.

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Oct 10, 2012

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Some extra :munch: fallout on the side:

DFB (German football association) ex-president Theo Zwanziger called Qatar the cancer that is killing futbol a few years ago. Qatar finally gets around to categorically denying that it's cancer (but not the other thing :v:), and sues. Zwanziger hires the most expensive lawyer in sight, a former politician who has wrangled money out of the Deutsche Bank :smugdog:

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Oct 10, 2012

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Criminal mismanagement and/or misappropriation :unsmigghh:

On the other hand, this could have all been avoided by explicitly declaring that FIFA's primary purpose is making rich old guys richer as they get older, with the help of a futbol tournament organising public relations arm :v:

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Oct 10, 2012

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Expecting a youtube statement about the clear conspiracy wherein America wants to get back at superior futbol nations.

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Oct 10, 2012

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Don't flatter the Blatter.

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Oct 10, 2012

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Quick, everyone act surprised!

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Oct 10, 2012

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Badger of Basra posted:

e: the fifth guy is Tokyo Sexwale

Give this man the job, because the only thing that could possibly make the FIFA clusterfuck even more beautiful is hearing a news anchor say the words "according to a statement by FIFA president Sex Whale."

If I were a football executive, my voting strategy at this point would be to maximise hilarity above everything else.

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Oct 10, 2012

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More like "found" an "old note" I bet.

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Oct 10, 2012

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We shall live in a state of permanent FIFA prosecution.

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Oct 10, 2012

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Spangly A posted:

FIFA disagrees with him on this and the weird thing is, I think he genuinely believes his word is more important than the entire organisation.

He's not active president. He holds an honorary position and isn't capable of exerting authority. Also it's FIFA, literally all they do is pick the world cup, bribe each other, and pay the tax skim off their massive cash reserves to Switzerland.
Blatter probably got used to FIFAs main purpose being turning millionaires into multimillionaires that he forgot about the never publicly admitting it part.

quote:

Tokyo Sexwale, a man mysteriously rich from gold and diamonds after being locked up alongside Mandela in Robben Island, is the favourite.
Name recognition bonus best bonus.

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Oct 10, 2012

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Kurtofan posted:

Sadly I think it's pronounced "sekwalay"

Doesn't mean you can't mispronounce it :sun:

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