how do I destroy a TV?

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Who Dat

I need to make it look like an accident so I can get a new TV because my wife won't let me get a new one until our old one breaks.

# ? May 28, 2015 20:21

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# ? May 8, 2024 00:02

alnilam

open up the case and snip a single wire in there so it just won't work anmore

_{ty manifisto}

# ? May 28, 2015 20:23

alnilam

while it is still working, sell it on craiglist and leave the money on the tv table where it usedf to be and when she gets home tell her a thief took it but the thief felt bad and left payment for it

_{ty manifisto}

# ? May 28, 2015 20:24

alnilam

learn to have better communication and mutual respect in your relationship to the point that you don't feel like you have to deceive her

_{ty manifisto}

# ? May 28, 2015 20:24

Who Dat

alnilam posted:

learn to have better communication and mutual respect in your relationship to the point that you don't feel like you have to deceive her

but I do I say "honey I think we should get a new tv this one sucks and crushes blacks so I can't enjoy any of our movies with great visuals" and she asks "well I don't notice it"

she's being difficult.

# ? May 28, 2015 20:27

cuntman.net

alnilam posted:

while it is still working, sell it on craiglist and leave the money on the tv table where it usedf to be and when she gets home tell her a thief took it but the thief felt bad and left payment for it

# ? May 28, 2015 20:28

nonazis: The ants. They're everywhere, man. Big fuckers.

an ice pick. unless it's a crt, in which case don't do anything to it because it'll literally explode or start a fire or electrocute you

# ? May 28, 2015 20:30

FartGhost

if a relative or friend is about to leave for a long time you can ask them to destroy the tv for you, then you can tell your wife they did it in a fit of rage and that you're not talking to them for a long while

# ? May 28, 2015 20:33

alnilam

if it's a CRT you can mod it and turn it into a simple oscilloscope, or use the high-voltage DC transformer inside to do cool science projects like power a biefeld-brown effect lifter, she can't be mad because you are doing Science and learning cool things to better yourself

_{ty manifisto}

# ? May 28, 2015 20:33

Who Dat

drat these are all pretty good I might have to make a poll to see which one the populace likes the most :allears:

# ? May 28, 2015 20:34

alnilam

are we going for stealth or wow-factor here

_{ty manifisto}

# ? May 28, 2015 20:36

alnilam

it's dumb to disable a mostly good tv just to get another one sooner when someone out there could be using it, go for the craigslist/thief one

_{ty manifisto}

# ? May 28, 2015 20:37

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

Make jokes about it's mother.

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# ? May 28, 2015 20:40

morning wood

[scribbles text of OP in "reasons not to get married" notebook]

# ? May 28, 2015 20:41

alnilam

drilldo squirt posted:

Make jokes about it's mother.

television sets are machines, they don't hate mothers or emotions or central nervous systems and they ca'nt understand human speech, i don't see how this would work

_{ty manifisto}

# ? May 28, 2015 20:42

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

Yeah they do, don't be racist alnilam.

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# ? May 28, 2015 20:44

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

Put your computer near it and don't use the TV. Loudly exclaim how wonderful it is compared to a TV, how it can do everything it can, but better, and wonder aloud why you even need a TV. Nature will take it from there

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# ? May 28, 2015 21:08

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

Whenever you have company make snide remarks about the tv like it's not in the room and then act dismissive when confronted.

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# ? May 28, 2015 21:10

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

Leave tv catalogs around and make passive aggressive remarks about it in the margins.

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# ? May 28, 2015 21:11

alnilam

very carefully

# ? May 28, 2015 21:11

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

Disguise it as a young black man and call the police, tell them it's stealing itself.

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# ? May 28, 2015 21:12

i am he

let the free market decide

# ? May 28, 2015 21:13

blinking beacon nose: birthday frog comes bearing gifts and special birthday wishes

do you have any pets? just fuckin throw the thing on the floor and scatter pet hair all around it......

# ? May 28, 2015 21:14

blinking beacon nose: birthday frog comes bearing gifts and special birthday wishes

or scatter her hair around it?

# ? May 28, 2015 21:14

Cyber Dog

its a perfectly good tv

# ? May 28, 2015 21:19

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

You should break the tv op, destroy it, put your fist through it and kick it.

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# ? May 28, 2015 21:20

blinking beacon nose: birthday frog comes bearing gifts and special birthday wishes

give it to me

# ? May 28, 2015 21:21

FartGhost

balance it on your head, when your wife walks in go m'lady and tilt it slightly so it falls off. that way its also kind of her fault

# ? May 28, 2015 21:24

i am he

FartGhost posted:

balance it on your head, when your wife walks in go m'lady and tilt it slightly so it falls off. that way its also kind of her fault

lol

# ? May 28, 2015 21:25

Who Dat

FartGhost posted:

balance it on your head, when your wife walks in go m'lady and tilt it slightly so it falls off. that way its also kind of her fault

this is wonderful because it makes her responsible, what a great way to turn the tables.

# ? May 28, 2015 21:26

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

light it on fire

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? May 28, 2015 21:30

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

who destroyed what is kind of an abstract concept anyway

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# ? May 28, 2015 21:31

Cyber Dog

"if we take the tv apart piece by piece, at what point does it stop being a tv?"

# ? May 28, 2015 21:35

tao of lmao

i am he posted:

let the free market decide

let the invisible hand push it off your tv stand

# ? May 28, 2015 21:37

bacalou

"hey honey, I sold the tv because it was coming between us and I can't let that happen. would you like to look newer models we can enjoy together?"

# ? May 28, 2015 21:39

verily carefree

Buy it a forums account and it will eventually destroy itself

# ? May 28, 2015 22:42

Yobgoblin: by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

put the tv on a small slant so it slowly slides until it falls. film it too.

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# ? May 28, 2015 22:46

joke_explainer

stuff the tube full of garlic, bury it during a full moon. only way to make sure it won't come back.

# ? May 28, 2015 22:57

Wertjoe

Start slowly filling it with lunch meat. Eventually it will start to stink and you can say "hey, honey, what's that smell? Oh! That's odd! Its coming from the TV!? Better get rid of it."

# ? May 28, 2015 23:16

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# ? May 8, 2024 00:02

GEExCEE

alnilam posted:

while it is still working, sell it on craiglist and leave the money on the tv table where it usedf to be and when she gets home tell her a thief took it but the thief felt bad and left payment for it

# ? May 28, 2015 23:39

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