Pasta Sauce - A miracle worker requested - The Something Awful Forums

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Dang It Bhabhi!: May 27, 2004; ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

Hell Yeah posted:

nice livejournal

In December of 2010 I finished up an accelerated college program to obtain a Technical Certificate in Welding. I amazed my friends and family by not only finally going to college, but by completing it, and doing it with a 3.2 GPA. I have the skills necessary to start a real career instead of just looking for jobs.

3.2 gpa

hell yeah!!!!!!

# ? Jun 27, 2015 07:59

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# ? May 7, 2024 23:37

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Kasan posted:

SCA. Not that fru-fru hurr durr I'm an elf bullshit. (Or Vampire if MET is still a thing).

Edit: Blacksmithing is my primary hobby, SCA second. Steam games are probably a distant 6th behind some other crafting hobbies like wood working and building miniature cannons to scare the neighbors kids off my lawn.

Pasta was editable and the sauce wasn't horrible but definitely not great. Today is pay day so the week long single meal days are done and it's back to my usual fare as soon as the farmers market opens here in a minute.

SCA is for real dudes, not that fake rear end elf bullshit. Now excuse me, I have to go law down the fur-law. Tumbles the Stairdragon won't follow our official rules for fur-fun and I need to sort it out.

OP is almost certainly on some kind of watch list.

# ? Jun 27, 2015 16:25

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

whoflungpoop posted:

we shouldn't poo poo on OP for being a terrible cook, financial planner, or sweaty dingus in nerfbat armor

turns out there's far worse things for OP to be

Yeah but can he cook?

# ? Jun 27, 2015 16:29

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Hold on, I just threw up in my mouth

:nms:

http://en.wikifur.com/wiki/Banrai#Controversy :nms:

quote:

It is a running joke that Banrai is 'violent', due to rumors started by people that have personal issues with her. Banrai claims many who have actually met her will vouch for her kind, caring nature, but that she enjoys 'playing up' that she is 'so violent', often requesting that artwork done for her include this theme. Other themes that run through work of Banrai include music, dancing, and internet memes.

Banrai also has an affinity for tentacles and vore, but generally in the non-sexual way.

Oh, and there's no way the OP isn't getting cucked

quote:

On Saturday she participated in the fursuit parade while wearing her Oontz fursuit, however she did not stay around for the after-parade photo op. That evening after a large dinner party with several other furs, including Evol, Exodite, Anjel Kitty and Crowe Basalt, Banrai attended Anjel Kitty's room party, and had a great time with everyone there. She had a chance to get acquainted with Growly and several other furs, and made several new friends. After a fun romp of drunken debauchery, Banrai went down to the dance with most of the other party attendees, several of whom were in fursuit. After becoming separated from them in the crowd, she hung out with Rikkanis in the convention space until Chyra had his incident with the outside stairs, at which point everyone was ushered out of the conspace. Upon returning to her room Banrai and Rikkanis realized they were locked out and had to wait for Kasan to bring them a key. Banrai made Rikkanis stay in their room that night due to the fact that he had to walk back to his hotel and it was very late, and she didn't want him to get mugged.

WHO THE gently caress IS WRITING ALL THIS poo poo?

# ? Jun 27, 2015 16:31

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Thank God the OP was on hand to save this man's life

quote:

Tumbles the Stairdragon is the name given by certain members of the furry fandom to a furry[who?] who tried to commit suicide at Furry Weekend Atlanta 2007 after being ejected from an furry convention room party.
Incident

In February 18, 2007, at 01:00 AM, the furry in question was ejected from a LOLFurries room party at FWA for harassing other members and being heavily inebriated:

Tumbles the Stairdragon
[He] kept pestering people to smoke pot with him, and any time we went to take a walk he would just follow us trying to get us to take us with him until finally we found a clever way to ditch him and Jen told him not to come back to our party. --Anjel Kitty

Tumbles the Stairdragon

After being ejected from numerous parties,[citation needed] the person in question moved to the outdoor area behind the convention space, mumbling and apparently angry, with nobody approaching him.[citation needed]

At first, he reportedly tried to slit his throat with the broken lens from a pair of sunglasses.[citation needed] He threw himself down the cement stairs adjacent to the hotel's smoking area, getting stuck in the railings halfway down. Several people were present, including 40oz Hyena and Icono of LOLFurries, to witness the actual event.

At this time, the con-attendees were moved inside, and he was not moved for fear of a head/neck injury. An ambulance and the police were called, and convention areas were shut down[citation needed] until the situation was dealt with and the police conferred with the witnesses of the event. He initially resisted arrest, but was quickly subdued due to his state.[clarify][citation needed]
Aftermath

Word spread rapidly online, and within days the character/meme Tumbles the Stairdragon was born.

A dragon was chosen to depict him, despite the furry's husky fursona,[citation needed] partly due to the stereotype that dragons are more prone to mental instability,[clarify] and partly because he had been described as a scalie.[who?] Several illustrations of the character were created.[1][2]

2 reportedly quipped that it would have been funnier if he had done it on the escalators,[2] while Nothingkat chided the fandom for their callous response.}}

The following year people[who?] were surprised that the same person attended the con again. Most of the surprise was over the rumor that he had been banned from FWA, the Sheraton, or both.[citation needed] In an effort to try to make amends, he approached several furries he'd met in '07, and apologized for his behavior the previous year, stating that:

Tumbles the Stairdragon
I lose control when I drink too much, and I'm sorry for the way I acted and the things I said. I made an rear end of myself before and this year I'm not drinking at all.[citation needed]

Tumbles the Stairdragon

and that all he wanted was "to put the whole business behind him".

# ? Jun 27, 2015 16:33

Dang It Bhabhi!: May 27, 2004; ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

this is peak pasta sauce

# ? Jun 27, 2015 16:54

Coohoolin: Aug 5, 2012; Oor Coohoolie.

this thread is amazing, who the gently caress uses something as hosed up as their furry name for their SA handle?

# ? Jun 27, 2015 16:59

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

quote:

due largely in part to poor budgeting from my wife and I's hobbies

quote:

due largely in part to poor budgeting from my wife and I's hobbies

quote:

due largely in part to poor budgeting from my wife and I's hobbies

quote:

due largely in part to poor budgeting from my wife and I's hobbies

quote:

Banrai worked as a freelance artist in the furry and fantasy community, specializing in draconic artwork. She also lightly delved into fursuit construction and craft work involving furry characters. She was usually open for commissions for any type of artwork.

In 2005 Banrai was declared disabled due to issues with chronic pain and several herniated disks in her lower back, and as such has been unable to work a steady public job. As such, she now rarely takes commissions for artwork due to the extended period of time it can take her to finish projects.

http://www.furaffinity.net/commissions/banrai/ :nms:

OP how are you not living off lobster and cavier 24/7? Don't tons of people want your wife's colored pencil drawings of animals loving each other?

# ? Jun 27, 2015 17:05

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

Coohoolin posted:

this thread is amazing, who the gently caress uses something as hosed up as their furry name for their SA handle?

I figured it was just a coincidence, because that seemed way too perfect. But then I googled him and nope:

quote:

Full Name: Kasan Ryuukin
Artist Type: Crafter
Registered since: March 11th, 2006 10:20
Current mood: apathetic
Artist Profile:
Holy poo poo i haven't updated this is years. Shows how often I actually remember to log-in for something other than viewing stuff I get linked. I'm a blacksmith, a SCAdian, a cook and a few other things. I don't know if I still consider myself a furry. The fandom has changed a lot in the last 25 years and I don't really think I like the direction it has gone. Far too much "look at me" and "waaaaaa I'm being persecuted because I like making GBS threads dick nipples and necrovoreacoprophagia porn, waaaaaaa'. I still appreciate the artwork, but less and less am I appreciating the attitude of the artists.

Been in the fandom since the late 80's (hooray for Usenet access on DARPANet, long live alt.fan.albedo).

# ? Jun 27, 2015 17:06

Hogge Wild: Aug 21, 2012; by FactsAreUseless; Pillbug

l o l

# ? Jun 27, 2015 17:10

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

"Huh, what will get people interested in paying me to draw for them....I know, a furry dog on all fours with a prominent erection!"

:nms:

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/16142631/ :nms:

quote:

CrimnosPNG.png
Image: CrimnosPNG.png 1000x732 81128 bytes 2010.07.12

For a long time I've had SAI and just not used it. Finally I realized that I could do digital art a lot quicker/easier than real media because of my back trouble so I sat down and figured it out.\r\n\r\nANYWAY. Crimnos, my sexy dragon character.\r\n\r\nAvailable in print from Inkbunny: http://inkbunny.net/submissionview.php?id=12889&filenum=0
Tags: crimnos dragon anthro male red white penis cock erect pinup

# ? Jun 27, 2015 17:11

Hell Yeah: Dec 25, 2012

can't view those without an account there.

# ? Jun 27, 2015 17:14

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Hell Yeah posted:

can't view those without an account there.

only took like 2 minutes, I had to know how far this went.

looks like I could've just clicked one of the millions of other free sites she posts to. whoops.

http://us.vclart.net/vcl/Artists/Banrai/Sketches/index02.html

That's the one.

pentyne fucked around with this message at 17:19 on Jun 27, 2015

# ? Jun 27, 2015 17:15

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

OP, do you wear a fursuit AND the armor to SCA events? You should be careful of heat exhaustion

# ? Jun 27, 2015 17:22

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

http://ferrumetlucem.tumblr.com/

quote:

My name is Jason Brooks. I�m a middle aged, non-traditional student pursuing education in a variety of trade related fields and pursuing blacksmithing as a personal hobby. I have a variety of interests, including the Society for Creative Anachronism which has spurned a desire to work more with hand crafts and other period forms of construction. I�m an avid gamer and play nearly all forms of games (except sports games, which I don�t really enjoy since I don�t enjoy sports) as well as board games, card games and table top miniatures/pen and paper games. I play World of Warcraft regularly and raid with a guild on US-Maelstrom. I enjoy cooking, and am an accomplished chef at home (I dabbled with it professionally, but burned out after 12 years and decided never again with food service.) I volunteer at a wolfdog rescue (despite being very allergic to canines) and love cats.

Oh, and both the OP and his wife are "disabled"

quote:

I was legally declared disabled and I'm waiting on the mountain of paperwork that generates before my insurace cards come. (and the associate large sack of money, but priorities here. Health back on track so I can live to spend that money) There will be some blanket repayments going out to people who've loaned us money and we may or may not have repaid them, as well as local money matters.

# ? Jun 27, 2015 17:26

Hell Yeah: Dec 25, 2012

hahaha he was a professional cook for 12 years

# ? Jun 27, 2015 17:28

bikesonyx: Oct 9, 2014

mindphlux posted:

Alright alright, I think I have a good handle on your situation.

Based on your ingredient list and stated goal, I think it will be a little difficult to pull off, but we can totally do this ; we got this thing man!

Here is my proposed recipe.

turn on : 1.5 cup food processor

stare at : whirling blades

drink : Marsala, Dry Sherry, Golden Sherry, Sherry, Dark Horse Cab, Biltmore Estate White Zin, 1 other white wine that I don't recall off the top of my head.
Sam Adams Winter Ale & Cold Snap, A about a cup of Ten Fidy Imperial Stout that I think went stale, Dragon's Milk Whiskey Stout, Wild Blue Blueberry Lager
Some Whiskey, Raspberry Vodka, Moonshine (the real stuff, somewhere around 175 proof), other various Liqours you shouldn't put in a pasta sauce.

contemplate : how lovely your life is and why your wife is definitely going to leave you and how loving poor you are

Its true

# ? Jun 27, 2015 17:30

a bay: Oct 14, 2014; by Lowtax

pentyne posted:

only took like 2 minutes, I had to know how far this went.

looks like I could've just clicked one of the millions of other free sites she posts to. whoops.

http://us.vclart.net/vcl/Artists/Banrai/Sketches/index02.html

That's the one.

Hey guys check out this insanely gross and crewpy stuff on this website that I just had to register an account to see. And look at this other one from an other site.

# ? Jun 27, 2015 17:36

Coohoolin: Aug 5, 2012; Oor Coohoolie.

quote:

My name is Jason Brooks. I�m a middle aged, non-traditional student pursuing education in a variety of trade related fields and pursuing blacksmithing as a personal hobby. I have a variety of interests, including the Society for Creative Anachronism which has spurned a desire to work more with hand crafts and other period forms of construction. I�m an avid gamer and play nearly all forms of games (except sports games, which I don�t really enjoy since I don�t enjoy sports) as well as board games, card games and table top miniatures/pen and paper games. I play World of Warcraft regularly and raid with a guild on US-Maelstrom. I enjoy cooking, and am an accomplished chef at home (I dabbled with it professionally, but burned out after 12 years and decided never again with food service.) I volunteer at a wolfdog rescue (despite being very allergic to canines) and love cats.

# ? Jun 27, 2015 17:37

Enfield: May 30, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

do you have tumbles the stairdragon in your house
i am dejected

# ? Jun 27, 2015 17:37

lollontee: Nov 4, 2014; Can't post for 10 years!

whoflungpoop posted:

we shouldn't poo poo on OP for being a terrible cook, financial planner, or sweaty dingus in nerfbat armor

turns out there's far worse things for OP to be

holy....

# ? Jun 27, 2015 17:54

Hell Yeah: Dec 25, 2012

there's a man's rear end farting on the other end of that ducting. i just know it

# ? Jun 27, 2015 17:59

lollontee: Nov 4, 2014; Can't post for 10 years!

this is the most amazing pasta sauce ever created. thank you whoflungpoop

# ? Jun 27, 2015 18:16

wyntyr: Mar 27, 2006

Enfield posted:

do you have tumbles the stairdragon in your house
i am dejected

# ? Jun 27, 2015 18:38

Business Gorillas: Mar 11, 2009

pentyne posted:

Here's an example of what the OP proudly talks about cooking for hundreds of SCA dudes and about how great of a chef he is.

Only scale up so it fits his massive 50 gallon pot and serve the lukewarm mess to a bunch of sweaty nerds in chainmail.

you stupid motherfucker

# ? Jun 27, 2015 19:20

Business Gorillas: Mar 11, 2009

will you even have any ground beef left after boiling it for 3-5 hours? i imagine it'll dissolve by that point. i mean at least use stew meat you stupid son of a bitch

# ? Jun 27, 2015 19:21

Business Gorillas: Mar 11, 2009

op im seriousposting for once when i say i'm gonna kick your rear end so hard your fur's gonna fall out of your fursuit

# ? Jun 27, 2015 19:22

Enfield: May 30, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

Business Gorillas posted:

will you even have any ground beef left after boiling it for 3-5 hours? i imagine it'll dissolve by that point. i mean at least use stew meat you stupid son of a bitch

lol i mussed that

# ? Jun 27, 2015 19:33

HoAssHo: Mar 10, 2005

He's cooking on high in the crock pot. That's not the same as boiling on the stove for for 3-5 hours.

Still a poo poo recipe.

# ? Jun 27, 2015 20:18

let it mellow: Jun 1, 2000; Dinosaur Gum

holy poo poo this thread did a thing

:laffo:

# ? Jun 27, 2015 20:19

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Edit: Crisis has passed, pasta was made, and a new month looms. Stick around for the hobby shaming on page 2.

# ? Jun 27, 2015 20:21

hemale in pain: Jun 5, 2010

I used to do SCA and I feel ashamed

# ? Jun 27, 2015 20:27

lollontee: Nov 4, 2014; Can't post for 10 years!

hemale in pain posted:

I used to do SCA and I feel ashamed

Good

# ? Jun 27, 2015 20:43

Prawned: Oct 25, 2010

Amazing.

# ? Jun 27, 2015 21:28

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

i met a dude who sca'd. he got 10 years probation for braining somebody. somebody jumped his bro and he went down to break it up, the other guy ran so he belted a cinderblock hammer throw style. hit the guy in the head and put him in a coma.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdaM5Mv-TTo

# ? Jun 27, 2015 21:32

Ramsus: Sep 14, 2002; by Hand Knit

Hell Yeah posted:

there's a man's rear end farting on the other end of that ducting. i just know it

# ? Jun 28, 2015 00:56

let it mellow: Jun 1, 2000; Dinosaur Gum

whoflungpoop posted:

as adept at art as anything else it seems, for this jack of no trades

still

at this goddamn thread

# ? Jun 28, 2015 01:02

lollontee: Nov 4, 2014; Can't post for 10 years!

SniperWoreConverse posted:

i met a dude who sca'd. he got 10 years probation for braining somebody. somebody jumped his bro and he went down to break it up, the other guy ran so he belted a cinderblock hammer throw style. hit the guy in the head and put him in a coma.

# ? Jun 28, 2015 01:11

Ramsus: Sep 14, 2002; by Hand Knit

Probably shouldn't be eating pasta if you're already obese you pathetic piece of human garbage fairy tale land disability living bitch boy human being

# ? Jun 28, 2015 01:48

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# ? May 7, 2024 23:37

whoflungpoop: Sep 9, 2004; With you and the constellations

pentyne posted:

http://www.furaffinity.net/commissions/banrai/

OP how are you not living off lobster and cavier 24/7? Don't tons of people want your wife's colored pencil drawings of animals loving each other?

quote:

As a dragon, she stands just at 5'10. She is heavyset, weighing around 280lbs

Banrai also has an affinity for vore

i like how her meticulously crafted fantasy alter-ego is still a 300lb beast with bad skin who loves to chow down

thanks ~Salmiakki~

whoflungpoop fucked around with this message at 02:23 on Jun 28, 2015

# ? Jun 28, 2015 02:20

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