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Also, keep in mind that if this new guy dumps her, she may come running back to you. You'd have to resist the urge to get back together, which it sounds like will be a huge temptation for you. Maintaining the wife+kids family was so important to you even in the face of her blatant infidelity and seriously terrible treatment of you.
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Jun 13, 2015 12:33
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Thanatosian posted:That being said, on the practical side of things, I strongly suggest going on her Facebook and preserving it. Go to the "Timeline" view, go year by year, makes sure you're viewing "all" and not just "highlights" ("highlights" is the default), and go to each entry and click "show all comments." Use Chrome's print to PDF to preserve it, do a PDF for each year. Do it now before it occurs to her to scrub it. She must be feeling untouchable if she posted all that stuff to her Facebook, making it painfully obvious that she already had another relationship going on while she was setting up the OP to be left out in the cold. OP, use her hubris to her advantage while you still can!
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Jun 18, 2015 13:00
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Thanatosian posted:Here's the thing: this is something he wants to do even if there's zero evidence of adultery on her Facebook page. She's already shown that she's willing to lie to all and sundry about a myriad of things, so you want as much documentary evidence as possible in case she starts lying about other things down the line. People who use Facebook a lot tend not to be too careful about what they post, and it makes it much easier to catch them in a lie, especially if they're making up lies now about something that happened months or years ago. True. He should probably do screen caps of her entire account history. For one thing, there's the date range when he supposedly put her in the hospital. It could be evidence she was OK/elsewhere at the time (in addition to there being no hospital records). For being so manipulative it certainly doesn't sound like she has much discretion, probably because she's so sure she'll get away with everything. Kind of like the villain who describes his entire master plot before he's about to kill the hero, but then the hero gets saved because the villain was wasting time gloating. Yeah. I just compared the OP's wife to a movie cliche.
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Jun 20, 2015 00:46
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r00tn00b posted:It is still something that I want to at least try, I still love her and know that some times people do stupid things. What she did to you is not a "stupid thing"... it's an "evil thing"! You have been - emotionally manipulated - led to move to another city under false pretenses - cheated on - lied about to the police and still you think it was just a stupid mistake on her part? Wake up! Don't be the person that goes back to the abuser and ends up with more black eyes and broken bones (metaphorically speaking, in your case). Many battered spouses feel that they have nowhere else to go, but you're in the opposite situation! Your abuser is actively trying to get rid of you and you want to go back! smh...
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Jun 22, 2015 23:00
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Centripetal Horse posted:It's like Don Quixote hosed Euripides on a pile of Shakespearean tragedies This would make an awesome tagline for the movie of the OP's life. OP is apparently seeking therapy. Hopefully, his therapist will help him to discover self-worth (and possibly sanity) so he doesn't follow through on his delusions.
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Jun 23, 2015 12:59
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Documenting his children's apparent neglect is one of the wisest things OP has done so far. He can't just take them away, but he can prepare for the future when he can try to get full custody. What is up with you putting the kids in child care so she could stay at home and neither work nor take care of the children? The whole point of being a stay-at-home mother is because you want to take care of the children. And then you leaving work to take care of them when they were sick or had appointments? That is so bizarre. Is she a trophy wife? Someone who is "way out of your league" physically? I can't help but be curious what it is about your wife that is so great that she could get away with not contributing equally to the household by any stretch of the imagination, and you were willing to reconcile with her after everything else she did. This lady is starting to remind me more and more of #6 from the anonymous E/N thread.
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Jul 4, 2015 16:04
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You're doing the right thing continuing to take steps, as best as you can, to ensure that your kids' lives won't be this way permanently. So, don't be discouraged. You have the potential to help them even if it can't happen overnight. Surely your children understand that you care about them very much. Keep up the fight.
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Jul 5, 2015 22:01
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adrenaline_junket posted:If you're still paying her cell bill (which you should stop doing), request a copy of the bill for the time that "she was in OR looking for homes". You mentioned that you were messaging pics of the kids daily. Find out if her phone was in OR or TX. There are probably legal reasons why OP can't stop paying the phone bill, but requesting the records is a very good idea.
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Jul 17, 2015 15:15
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OP - what an awesome turnaround regarding your ex leaving the kids with you! This is probably one of the best things that could have happened. I hope your ex stays away long enough, or whatever she needs to do, so you can get full permanent custody of the children. Lucky for those kids, they have a dad who loves them and didn't give up on them even when their mom was pushing him away. The legal system can be pretty weird. Laws like the one that's preventing you from getting temporary custody may be in place so people can't do something like drop the kids off to be babysat by grandma for a few days, and now when they return from vacation, suddenly grandma has gone to court and gotten temporary custody. Of course that isn't your case at all, but there may not be the leeway to make exceptions based on the individual, even if they're a parent. IANAL, and please continue seeking legal help and documenting everything because your ex sounds unstable.
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Aug 22, 2015 12:13
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