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Because you seem like a well meaning idiot I'm going to reiterate TALK TO A LAWYER before you do anything. Do not call to talk to the children, do not talk to her at all, do not talk to her family. What the gently caress will you tell them at this point anyways? Obviously they're bring fed a story already and you can't possibly change that in the current circumstances. If you're going to foil this plan, you're going to want evidence of parental alienation which is exactly what she's doing right now. Talking to your children and trying to explain that "mommy has gone crazy and is lying to you about everything" is also parental alienation, and probably what she's awaiting, with a recording device. Do not muddy the waters; in an ideal world they will be interviewed as part of your divorce proceedings with nothing but her fabrications on their lips. I'm sure this is an emotionally difficult time but you need to loving wise up the reality of this, and if you want to stop being played by your ex, think this through with the help of a lawyer.
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Jun 9, 2015 16:55
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r00tn00b posted:Let me be clear here, In no way am I calling my children and telling them mommy is a bad bad person, I talk to y kids to ask them about how their day was, if they are having fun and to tell them good night and that kind of stuff. I am not a vindictive person and I wish no ill will on anyone, and I would never try to make my children dislike their mother. Hey, that is good and reasonable. Just seemed kind of clear that she is not, and that you seem to have made a habit of playing into that.. Talk to a lawyer.
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Jun 9, 2015 17:20
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r00tn00b posted:She has been dealing with self esteem issues. And in a deep depression. I tried to help her but she wouldn't let me. She built up a story in her head that I didn't love her anymore, and that I cheated on her with a Co worker (nothing happened the woman who I had the affair with is an insufferable butch). So she sought another man to make her feel better. She has since sought out help from a professional therapist. And is working on the issues. The reason I think this breakdown happened is that she likes to plan things carefully. And we had planned the move extensively. When I got fired it moved the time table up 2 months and the stress broke her. She's in a fragile state. Hmm.. You're really loving good at making excuses and rationalisations for her; you're not seriously thinking there is anything to salvage from this other than some percentage of your belongings, income and time with the kids?
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Jun 9, 2015 18:52
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r00tn00b posted:. Weeks ago! Gosh. And if you'd had a good dialogue for a long time, then its been over for ages cause the poo poo that has happened DOES NOT HAPPEN TO PEOPLE WITH GOOD DIALOGUE. OP, you are the proverbial goon in the well.
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Jun 9, 2015 19:44
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r00tn00b posted:Trust can be rebuilt with time. This whole episode should be pointing out to you that you don't have a hot loving clue where your wife is at, no ability to understand what she now wants (not you) nor even judge if a chance existed (which it loving doesn't). She doesn't want to be with you. Doesn't want to live with you, certainly doesn't want to sleep with you, doesn't want to even loving talk to you. You going to keep loving around in the well OP? How's that working out so far? I understand that it's got to be incredibly hard to have any perspective on this from your position, with so much of your life invested in her, you kids - your world. She has burnt it down, and loving hates you, and everything about you as a couple. Get a loving grip.
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Jun 13, 2015 18:43
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r00tn00b posted:I know you are being insincere. But sure. He was just there for her in a time of need. Plain as that. Where I couldn't be. Yeah, I'm sure that's what she told you, or what you surmised. Why would that be all there is? Your wife is tired of you, resents you, doesn't want to have anything to do with you. He wasn't just convenient you idiot; people don't uproot their kids and change their lives over "accessible" or "more handy than my husband". I am blown away by the level of self deception, and complete lack of insight you have - so much so its becoming easier and easier to see why she wanted you loving out of her life. Most people would have taken the cheating, the distant behaviour, the endless lies, the manipulation as a clear sign that the relationship is over but no, you keep blithely pushing to get what you want and she has now forced you the gently caress out of her life, presumably because you just aren't getting it. You are going to have to come to terms that she is in love with someone else, and loathes you but I'm pretty sure you'll just keep jamming your head up your rear end, so enjoy! Get a therapist, as well as a lawyer, because otherwise you're going to make some very stupid decisions that you will be legally bound to shortly
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Jun 13, 2015 21:24
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a creepy colon posted:It's weird how all the 'nice' and 'sincere' posters from earlier are now turning against you simply because you choose to try and stay together for the kids. First of all, "staying together for the kids" is universally a terrible idea, particularly when the relationship is so completely over. Being weirdly evasive about the reality of the situation, and rejecting pretty much all advice the OP has made it clear he's really into the whole well experience. I keep hoping the OP will wake the gently caress up instead of just passively dreaming of some alternate reality but I'm pretty sure its going to get really loving real when she destroys him in court.
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Jun 13, 2015 22:55
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r00tn00b posted:I have accepted that reconciliation is not a likely outcome of this and her actions as of late have only driven that home. even at the exchange of the kids she was not seen. It is still something that I want to at least try, I still love her and know that some times people do stupid things. drat dude, even after two weeks of this shitfest you are still delusional as hell. Nothing about what she has done is stupid - it is a careful, planned, deliberate, wholesale rejection of every role you have had in her life. Premeditated absolute rejection. This bears repeating, from page 1.. Blitter posted:This whole episode should be pointing out to you that you don't have a hot loving clue where your wife is at, no ability to understand what she now wants (not you) nor even judge if a chance existed (which it loving doesn't). You might be the E/N doormat champion; 'grats.
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Jun 22, 2015 22:17
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r00tn00b posted:I don't understand why that is creepy It's creepy a gently caress because you are sitting there, fantasizing about having a conversation that will never happen, for a ton of reasons. Most importantly the idea that you still think she gives a flying gently caress what you are feeling, continues to show an insane degree of separation between reality and what is going on in your head. This weird and obsessive way in which you're mentally jerking it to your totally imaginary conversation is seriously hosed up. You should be focussing on things regarding you and dealing with these changes, not hoping for some fairies and unicorn poo poo where there is anything good about caring about her opinion and feelings on this. You will not get an apology; She Does Not Care. You will not get an explanation, or "Hear the words from her mouth"; She Does Not Care. Even if you did get some version of the 'closure' that you think you deserve, you would claw around your delusional version of reality, inventing a reason why you still need more from her. It's a dysfunctional pattern of behaviour that you need to understand and break. She Give Not A gently caress. Does not care. Won't have any conversation because of those reasons; has a legal order mandating it because you're Just Not Getting It. It's actually so weird that it's making it pretty clear that you have some kind of serious fantasy/reality disconnect that doubtless precipitated this whole shitshow of a divorce because you are absolutely, pathetically out of touch with the real world, and in particular, your ex-wife. Talk to your therapist about your obsessive thoughts and ways to deal with them. Get a loving grip already, jesus.
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Jul 2, 2015 16:09
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Nwabudike Morgan posted:drat look at this stone cold motherfucker Hey, go ahead and feel emotions - mourn the loss of what you had, feel angry about the scale of the betrayal, gently caress, feel pity for yourself, sure its a horrible situation. It's important to experience those things to be able to move on. Indulge your impossible visions of reconciliation? Find happiness in hopefulness? Yeah, that's a loving waste of time and the OP has been doing the above for years, with the end result being the miserable situation he is in. Move on, or you will never protect yourself and your kids from your ex and her machinations.
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Jul 2, 2015 22:36
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This is awesome, and I feel like a poo poo for being such an rear end in a top hat in this thread; so glad for you and your kids that you were not another weird goon in the well type failure. So uh, my apologies and congrats!?
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May 20, 2016 22:27
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