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To me, it sounds like she wanted out but she wanted to be in a secure situation before she did. Now she has her family as a support system and you're financially unable to really fight her on anything. There may not have been a critical 'OMG' moment for her, but she simply saw her opportunity and took it. Go talk to a lawyer when you can, OP.
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Jun 9, 2015 19:45
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r00tn00b posted:There was no charge filed and no court date that I am aware of. Did they give you any paperwork with the order to stay away? If not, then there really isn't any protective order, I think.
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Jun 10, 2015 18:46
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My parents stayed together for my sisters and I. It was loving hell for two decades. For God's sake, don't ever try to stick it out for your children.
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Jun 14, 2015 02:10
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r00tn00b posted:not works for, owns, he owns the law firm. Stupid things are saying something a little callous or forgetting an anniversary. She moved you out to Oregon, refused to let you stay with her, accused you of threatening her, got an order of protection and is dangling your children over your head while moving on with the guy she flew out to gently caress. STOP DOWNPLAYING HER ACTIONS. She's diligently working to gently caress you over. The marriage is so far beyond done, they need a new word for it.
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Jun 22, 2015 12:18
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She's not thinking about what's best for her children, but neither is OP by wanting to work things out with her. She has no regard for anyone outside of her own wants. The kids deserve better than that. It's normal to miss your spouse and feel a little lost, but he should still try not to obsess over it.
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Jul 3, 2015 12:28
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If she's that neglectful then I'd hope for the sake of your kids you'd not attempt to reconcile with her. They deserve better.
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Jul 4, 2015 13:09
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January posted:Documenting his children's apparent neglect is one of the wisest things OP has done so far. He can't just take them away, but he can prepare for the future when he can try to get full custody. Agreed. I'm a STAHM at the moment so that we don't have to use up money on childcare, and I contribute by caring/raising our son, cooking, keeping up the house, etc. Wtf does she need childcare for if she doesn't work?
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Jul 4, 2015 17:20
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I think he's being stupid in wanting to reconcile with a woman who betrayed him in every sense of the word and has apparently been neglecting their children. I think it's normal to miss the way things had been and to miss her. She was his wife, and it's expected. But clinging to "maybe things will be different/get better!" is stupid. For the sake of his kids he needs to accept that his marriage is over and work on doing what he can to provide them a better life than she is. Documenting is all he CAN do right now, unless they show signs of obvious abuse (looking really malnourished or beaten). Diaper rash and bug bites won't get the children removed from her care.
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Jul 4, 2015 19:17
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InvisibleMonkey posted:Just pointing out the insanity of these posts. Actually, that's pretty close to how a narcissistic spouse behaves and the behavior OP describes fits it pretty well. My friend was engaged to a guy who left his narcissistic wife and she behaved the same way with the kids (very little interest in actually taking care of them, claimed he abandoned the family when he filed for divorce, shacked up and married some other guy within weeks of the divorce being finalized, etc). Therapy for him and eventually the kids isn't a bad thing. I wouldn't be surprised if she and her family are talking badly about OP and trying to ruin their opinion of him.
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Jul 6, 2015 13:31
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The woman you married is gone, if she ever existed. Time to step up and be the parent your children need. Part of being that kick-rear end dad is by never allowing that woman into your life in the role of a spouse ever again.
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Jul 7, 2015 01:23
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I feel so awful for your kids. That kind of instability can be so damaging. I'm really relieved you have them, though. Keep up with the lawyering. The best thing that woman can do is gently caress off permanently.
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Aug 16, 2015 02:34
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She has to have some sort of mental issue. I can't imagine a parent just up and abandoning their children for no reason. And possibly abusing an animal. Regardless, you're doing everything right. My heart absolutely breaks for those kids, though. 
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Aug 16, 2015 21:31
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For the sake of the kids I hope she stays away permanently. However, she may not have necessarily broken your ability to trust people. Her parents took her side and participated in nearly stripping you of your ability to see your children. You have every reason to be distrustful. And I think you may be in survival-mode, too. This means being unsure of anything. Give it time.
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Aug 17, 2015 11:40
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r00tn00b posted:The request to grant custody to me was dismissed, as the kids haven't been living with me for long enough. So As it stands she can come back and take them back at any time. and that is scary. I am working on fixing this but it will take take. In the mean time I just hope she continues to be childish and stays the gently caress away from me and my kids. I can't understand that. She abandoned them. How can she still have custody? And with her parents' supporting you?
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Aug 22, 2015 03:03
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r00tn00b posted:Got our court date today. They aren't hearing the case till next year. That seems like a long time its about 6 months from now. God drat, that's awful. Can you at least get the kids into some kind of counseling til then?
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Aug 29, 2015 13:02
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r00tn00b posted:Leg injuries. They don't know how. Holy gently caress, this broke my heart. I can't imagine pulling the poo poo she's pulled as a parent. I can't fathom it. You're doing all the right things and I have no advice to offer, but I'm just so sorry you and the kids have to to through this.
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Sep 7, 2015 18:36
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