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GunChicka posted:How old were your kids? we dint have kids then.
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Jun 10, 2015 21:05
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GunChicka posted:What led to your wife getting back in touch with her family, then deciding to move home? She wanted to see her half sisters who she hadn't talked to in over 12 years. She got in touch on FB and then we talked about moving closer. Good jobs for me, and Family, more than we had in Ohio.
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Jun 10, 2015 21:10
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Wizard of Smart posted:You did a bad job. This made me laugh. thank you Wizard of Smart
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Jun 10, 2015 21:12
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GunChicka posted:When was the other time you met her parents and did you get a sense of their opinion on you? It seems like you are the guy who ran off with their daughter, from their perspective perhaps. The only time I ever met her mother was when our first child was born, she was here for a day, her mother is not who she wants to see though, they don't have any real relationship she gave up parental rights to my wife when she was 2. Voluntarily to get out of child support payments to her father. longer story. Her father and I were on good terms, He though I was a good influence on his daughter. But he is no longer with us. I had never met her step-father until Saturday.
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Jun 10, 2015 21:15
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Darth123123 posted:Tbf he's been very elusive on many points. And that's not True to the E in E/n. I'm not trying to be elusive, I have been under a lot of stress and now that I have a stable job and place to live, I will try to be more thoughtful in my responses.
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Jun 10, 2015 21:20
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MY PALE GOTH SKIN posted:Seriously can't imagine what it's like to be married at 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, around 25 I can maaaaybe imagine it. Kids are 7 and 3 we had our first shortly after marriage we talked about kids and decided kids early. I wouldn't change that decisions there was nothing to take out on each other. that phrase in bold is used to politely say, he dead.
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Jun 10, 2015 21:41
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r00tn00b posted:Kids are 7 and 3 we had our first shortly after marriage we are 26 and 29, forgot to answer that.
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Jun 10, 2015 21:43
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GunChicka posted:You previously said that she was uninterested in figuring things out, but was in finding apartments and such. Do you think she was just disengaging or did she have some other plans you disagreed with (you mentioned the money already). You said you both decided to move back to Portland, but I get a feeling it might have been her pushing for it more? Were there ever arguments over that? No I was behind it 100%, We didn't have family in Ohio for us to hang out with, and it was a stress point. I love the state of Oregon and I knew I could find a good job out here. There was never an argument on moving here. She was interested in working things out and we were, there were details that I didn't agree with but I conceded because I would rather things work out than cause an argument over a small detail. Like I said things were rocky, she wanted me to live on my own for a while before she moved back in fully with me, that was something I was not fully okay with.
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Jun 10, 2015 21:48
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GunChicka posted:Ok, hell, maybe this could have been a detail to share earlier? But hey what do I know. Look things have been crazy and I have a terrible thought train as it is. Im settled now and I can think. you guys are lucky i don't break off mid sentence about how awesome lunch was. I am enjoying it so far, I have a nice place to live walking distance to work and all sorts of shops and restaurants and decent rent.
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Jun 10, 2015 21:55
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Darth123123 posted:So on a lighter note, what's your new job? And congrats. I work at the Nike GNOC
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Jun 10, 2015 21:56
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Well goons you win. I was servered with papers of protection. Citing the knife. She embellished the story. And then right after being servered she posted her new relationship with the guy from tx on her fb. I was played. Plain and simple.
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Jun 13, 2015 07:15
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The court has already set provisions in the protection order. I skat have my parental time as at by this.
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Jun 13, 2015 07:52
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r00tn00b posted:The court has already set provisions in the protection order. I already have my parental time as at by this. I get them every other weekend. To be more accurate. I have already filled the paper work to contest that. And to have to protection order dismissed.
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Jun 13, 2015 07:54
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Secks Cauldron posted:Lawyer up, OP. And consider therapy in the near future. You deserve a relationship with someone who won't cheat on you or take your money and the way to get there is by growing your self-esteem. I know it seems like I have no self esteem But my self worth is high. I know who o am and what I'm worth. I didn't fall for this trick because I didn't think I was worth anything. I fell for this because I want more than anything to have my family the way it was. And to raise my kids with their mother. I appreciate the thought and the support. But self esteem is not my issue. I'm awesome. I have a kick a job. I have a nice place in a good part of town and so far I have raised two awesome kids who I now live solely for.
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Jun 13, 2015 08:01
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Stoca Zola posted:If I'm remembering right, she left you with the kids and went on ahead? Hardly the actions of someone who thinks you're dangerous. Lawyer up she isn't as clever as she thinks and this isn't airtight in her favour. Yes the plan was for the kids to live with me for the summer. And then move then out. What actualy happened was they were with me for about 5 weeks. I sent pictures of then to her constantly and made sure they talked to her at least once a day. I'm ask about my family being a family.
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Jun 13, 2015 08:04
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My phones auto correct is atrocious
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Jun 13, 2015 08:04
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Bill Pullman posted:Also document/screen cap everything. Everything is documented. Conversations recorded (with her knowledge). I'm not super dumb in just naive. I wanted things to work out. Knowing they weren't. I had a suspicion the entire time. Even called her out on it. I still bought into us working things out.
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Jun 13, 2015 08:52
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MY PALE GOTH SKIN posted:I know the phrase. If I mentioned the "he is" instead of "he's" and thought the phrase itself was weird, I would have mentioned it too. I wasn't talking about the phrase. I meant the sentence as a whole. Granted, I'm more used to 'has passed on,' but that's probably a regional thing. Yes I know. As of right now I have the kids every other weekend. And the court denied her any funds that I have to pay. I will be holding out hope that this works out because I do want my family together. She isn't who she normally is right now. Maybe this is the new her maybe it's not. I will be fighting this as best I can. I dint have the resources she does. A near limitless supply of cash for one. And acres to a whole law firm of her step father's lawyers at no cost to her.
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Jun 13, 2015 09:10
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Error 404 posted:1. Lawyer up. Yes I know. Everyone else has said this. I will. I'm going to get some sleep. I'll post more tomorrow.
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Jun 13, 2015 09:31
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Bill Pullman posted:Don't hold out too much hope though. Could you ever trust her again? Trust can be rebuilt with time. I know it's slim. But if there is a chance.l I'll take it.
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Jun 13, 2015 17:28
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Darth123123 posted:Sorry to be right op. I wasn't staking her. Just a friend sent me a screen cap of it. I didn't ask for it or ask him to check on her.
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Jun 13, 2015 19:05
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. Oh, I'd stop stalking her Facebook too. Nothing good will come of that
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a creepy colon posted:Like, who is this joker anyway? He is me. Literally in every way he is me. He has the same job. Interests hobbies. He is a clone of me. He even has the same name of my twin brother. He is a cheap knockoff of me. She literally replaced me for me. He just happened to be there for her when u couldn't.
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Jun 13, 2015 19:33
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r00tn00b posted:He is me. Literally in every way he is me. He has the same job. Interests and hobbies. He is a clone of me. He even has the same name as my twin brother. He is a cheap knockoff of me. She literally replaced me for me. He just happened to be there for her when i couldn't. Edited for autocorrect issues
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Jun 13, 2015 19:34
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a creepy colon posted:Ok, now we are getting somewhere. If this dude is your doppleganger then he CAN be defeated. Think, what would a Texas version of you be thinking next? What is his next move? And what did he do exactly to seduce your wife?! I know you are being insincere. But sure. He was just there for her in a time of need. Plain as that. Where I couldn't be.
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Jun 13, 2015 21:03
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Clocks posted:Yeeeeah, please don't think you can get back together with her (or even should) just for the kids. It is not worth it and it's going to create an incredibly bad environment for them to grow up in. I would never stay together for the kids. She would have to want to be with me and have therapy. Hell I need therapy. Is not going to be all happy fun time right away. Reconciliation might chine a year from now it might chine 10 years from now
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Jun 14, 2015 02:25
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something clever posted:It's chime. Is English your first language? Not being rude, but I think it would explain a little bit of the communication disconnect you seem to have with the thread. It's my phone it corrected come to chime and I didn't notice. Thanks for pointing it out.
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Jun 14, 2015 04:15
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Omg guys. I spoke with a lawyer. With all the information in the protection order and the history of her leaving me with the kids and all that. There is no way for her to take my rights as a parent and 50% custody is the most likely outcome. He also thinks we can get the order dissolved so she can't hold that over my head any more. This lifts a great weight off my chest. I still will hope for reconciliation. But at least now I know I will likely get my kids.
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Jun 14, 2015 17:22
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Error 404 posted:This is good, congrats. I'm aware of that. I really and truly am. But that won't stop me from keeping just a little hope that I can get my family back.
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Jun 14, 2015 17:46
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Travis343 posted:I would say you need to get used to the idea that your family is now "my kids and their mother who I am on amicable terms with" and find some happiness in that scenario because "my kids and their mother, my loving wife" is almost certainly over if, be honest with yourself, it ever really existed in the first place We had a lot of good years together. Lots of happy memories. This last 6 months had been the poo poo part. I know it's not likely. But I just want to be happy. And right now happy is me. My kids and my wife as a family. The thought of that is what keeps me going. You might think I'm pathetic and by all means you cab think that. But you don't know the whole history and all the emotions of the last 8 years of my life. You know of this turmoil and is immediate effects. If we cannot be together I will accept that eventually when I'm ready to. I can't force it. I'll see a therapist and hang out with my kids. I'll do my best.
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Jun 14, 2015 19:34
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Travis343 posted:I dont think youre pathetic. That was out of line, sorry, I had no right to imply your marriage wasn't happy and loving. You are right. I don't know either but I want to try. I don't want it to damage the kids and I'd want to go slow. Right now I'm worrying about getting my kids with me more than 4 days a month. After that I'll worry about trying to talk to her. Legaly.
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Jun 14, 2015 20:14
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Just had a phone call with my kids. It was nice. They are having lots of fun and looking forward to staying with me. So far I've used the excuse of work for their questions in why they just can't come over now. When my youngest son had then phone taken from him because he was told he was done talking it devastated me. He just threw a tantrum and cried and screamed and yelled because he wasn't done and he dosn't understand this at all and he is used to seeing me every day. There isn't a point to this post im just posting to talk about the moment. It made me into a crying baby because he loves me and misses me so much. Even while posting about it in emotional.
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Jun 14, 2015 22:25
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Bill Pullman posted:Sorry dude, that sounds awful. Hang in there, stay strong and get through this. Thank you. I have a really unhealthy addiction to talking to her, even now, when something cool happens or i read something funny i go to message her about it, i catch myself every time and stop. I just want things the way they were.
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Jun 15, 2015 06:39
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Fidelity isn't illegal. I would only think the judge's person opinion on that would matter
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Jun 15, 2015 17:09
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Liquid Communism posted:It's rough, but you've got to realize that the 'her' you're imaging doesn't match the person she's chosen to be anymore. That may be a permanent thing. I know she might never be the same again. She might never be the woman who I fell in love with. But I want to hold onto that hope for a while.
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Jun 15, 2015 17:25
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Error 404 posted:Like I said before, that's all well and good, but don't do it at the expense of what you need to do now. Bring this poo poo to your lawyer, let him work to your advantage. I am we have a meeting Thursday. I will do what I need to to get my kids. I'll fit to my death for them.
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Jun 15, 2015 18:03
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Stoca Zola posted:I was having a read here http://courts.oregon.gov/OJD/OSCA/cpsd/courtimprovement/familylaw/pages/fl_divorce.aspx to see if there was any reason why she might have lured you to Oregon before trying to break it off with you. You apparently have no-fault divorces there, although there seems to be a six months waiting period from when you move into the state to when they'll let you divorce. It doesn't look to me like there is any sneaky law there that can screw you over, it all looks pretty reasonable actually and is an interesting read in easy to understand language. It's been hard reading this thread, its really obvious how much this has hurt you and how much it's still hurting. People have been telling you to lawyer up, and you have which is great, but I'm worried what's going to happen to you if you're left alone to stew on this with no one to talk to or help you emotionally process whats happening. I hope you've got friends you can lean on or maybe see if you have access to a therapist through work to help you in the short term? I don't think you're wrong to remember the good times because it will be important when you're with your kids, they'll pick up on how you are and it will have a lasting effect on them. A therapist could probably help coach you on how to make this as easy on your kids as possible, too. I have reached out to a few places for assistance with therapy. I'm waiting to hear back.
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Jun 15, 2015 18:20
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Bill Pullman posted:Good deal. Make sure to follow up. This helped me a lot early on. Therapy starts tomorrow. I look forward to this a lot.
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Jun 16, 2015 04:14
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kicktd posted:How long have you lived in Oregon? Unless you have lived there for 6+ months then the divorce can not go through, but you can get a legal separation and then go back for the divorce after 6 months. A week. So we have some time before divorce
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Jun 16, 2015 19:44
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Liquid Communism posted:Might be more relevant how long she has been there. just a few weeks, we are still 5 months or so from the actual divorce.
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Jun 17, 2015 04:40
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Geoj posted:I would hazard a guess the reason she dragged him out to Oregon to break things off are 1) step dad is an attorney and has offered not only his services, but the services of the law firm he works for pro bono and 2) there's a good chance that if her step father is a former DA he may still have connections in the justice system and likely can pull strings on his stepdaughter's behalf. not works for, owns, he owns the law firm. I have not posted in a while as I was spending the last few days with my kids. It was fun we had a blast and I can't wait to see them again. I spoke to an attorney and while the legal custody of my children is not an issue, they are doubtful of the protection order being dissolved on my request as Oregon state would require me to prove proof that she is not telling the truth. It is hard to prove a negative and my lawyer feels the best route is to cut communication and focus on getting legal custody of the kids and more time with them rather than risk losing that battle and having further restrictions put against me (if we fight and lose it I cannot purchase guns or ammo for the rest of my life). So that's what we are doing, preparing a legal case to work on a custody arrangement where I can see my kids more often. As my wife doesn't have a place of her own or a job I have a pretty good case to be the custodial parent. I have accepted that reconciliation is not a likely outcome of this and her actions as of late have only driven that home. even at the exchange of the kids she was not seen. It is still something that I want to at least try, I still love her and know that some times people do stupid things.
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Jun 22, 2015 05:18
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