- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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quote: She had told her family that I beat here and put her in the hospital, which is not true at all, and they hate me. They called the cops on me and had them place an order to prevent me from calling texting or visiting my wife or my kids.
So your wife's family called the cops, they told them you beat her, and a judge in a court issued a restraining order? With no evidence what so ever? What happened man.
e: also, she essentially tricked you into delivering the children to her after she setup shop in Portland. gently caress why would you want this woman.
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Jun 9, 2015 17:17
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Apr 30, 2024 19:55
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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She has been dealing with self esteem issues. And in a deep depression. I tried to help her but she wouldn't let me. She built up a story in her head that I didn't love her anymore, and that I cheated on her with a Co worker (nothing happened the woman who I had the affair with is an insufferable butch). So she sought another man to make her feel better. She has since sought out help from a professional therapist. And is working on the issues. The reason I think this breakdown happened is that she likes to plan things carefully. And we had planned the move extensively. When I got fired it moved the time table up 2 months and the stress broke her. She's in a fragile state.
back the gently caress up here son
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Jun 9, 2015 18:49
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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The argument was on the phone and about money. When I went to see the kids her step father met me in the driveway and the cops were right there.
So you've had one argument with your wife about money (presumably your lack thereof) and that was enough for the police to file some no contact order? gently caress, I'm screwed if that's the case. I don't buy it, sorry OP.
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Jun 9, 2015 19:28
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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Yes hotel the whole time.
I called her to work on a plan to get through till I could get a pay check. When she refused to really talk about it and work on it I was frustrated. After we got off the phone because she didn't want to be yelled at, I didn't think I had raised my voice but that's not really the point, she text-ed me and told me not to threaten her. I was confused because I hadn't.
Apparently the box cutter I had in my pocket was me threatening her with a knife. I never touched it and I put it in my car before we went out, it was only on my person for maybe 2 min in her presence.
What was your plan you wanted to discuss? Why are you carrying a box cutter?
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Jun 9, 2015 21:02
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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This is like pulling teeth.
Did you set the box cutter on the table? How did she see it?
Clearly she was done with you and you asking for money from her parents was ill timed to say the least.
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Jun 9, 2015 21:34
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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Ok that's better.
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Jun 9, 2015 21:39
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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None of the details or bullshit people are asking about really matter. Even if your story is completely one-sided, 90% made-up, if your wife took your kids and left you homeless, you need to get a lawyer. Period. Full-stop.
Stop messing around and start talking to lawyers now. And make sure you tell them the truth.
Without a job too
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Jun 9, 2015 23:21
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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How good was the sex?
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Jun 9, 2015 23:22
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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She hosed another guy out of state, said so, then went out of state again. Called the cops and took his children while he was penniless. I think you misrepresent the story. And there was a butcher blade. And a begging for in laws to support him. And
That was some fine drat pussy.
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Jun 10, 2015 02:15
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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So this no contact order thing has been in the back of my head for a day. Something just doesn't add up. A policeman can't issue the order, not according to the official Oregon Judicial Courts page:
quote:
No Contact Orders:
A “no contact order” is an order in a criminal case that tells the defendant not to contact the victim. A judge can order no contact anytime during a criminal case or a no contact order may be required if the defendant is released from jail before trial and sentencing. A no contact order can also be a probation requirement. If the defendant violates the no contact order, he or she may be re-arrested and jailed. A no contact order is different from a “restraining order” like a Family Abuse Prevention Act order or stalking protective order. If you have questions about no contact orders you can call the Victim Assistance Program in your county.
http://courts.oregon.gov/OJD/OSCA/cpsd/courtimprovement/familylaw/pages/domesticviolence.aspx
What charges were filed? When is/was your court date?
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Jun 10, 2015 17:22
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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Ignore all advice in this thread other than the get a lawyer advice and then do what the lawyer says.
I'm a lawyer.
No I got no paper work or written order.
You got no no contact order
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Jun 10, 2015 19:22
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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Ok, recap here again: So up until the Sunday phone call you all had been looking for apartments together and planning on moving in together. Before that she had been acting a bit weird, such as suggesting you stay in a hotel and expressing concern over the boxcutter. You ask to borrow money from mom, leading to an argument. You go by her house to find the police who tell you not to contact your wife. Nothing since then? It's been 3 days.
He's gotten a job, so that will help with the $800 child support payments.
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Jun 10, 2015 19:29
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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Why aren't you shutting up and just talking to a lawyer? What do you hope to gain here?
Hey man, your not his dad. Or is this a no contact order.
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Jun 10, 2015 21:10
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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You've asked this guy easily a dozen questions, I'm real curious where you're trying to go with this. Do you have a point at all? Are you trying to figure anything out?
Tbf he's been very elusive on many points. And that's not True to the E in E/n.
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Jun 10, 2015 21:17
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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I don't think the dude is bullshitting and if anything he's clarified the actual circumstances much much better since answering questions.
Exactly. I don't know what thread that guy is reading.
I did call him on the no contact, as it was pretty serious and germane. Sorry for trying, sideline non-interested posters.
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Jun 10, 2015 21:39
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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So on a lighter note, what's your new job? And congrats.
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Jun 10, 2015 21:55
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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Edited for autocorrect issues
Couldn't be there? Wut
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Jun 13, 2015 20:35
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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I know you are being insincere. But sure. He was just there for her in a time of need. Plain as that. Where I couldn't be.
Why?
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Jun 13, 2015 21:19
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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I would never stay together for the kids. She would have to want to be with me and have therapy. Hell I need therapy. Is not going to be all happy fun time right away. Reconciliation might chine a year from now it might chine 10 years from now
Post an update in 10 years
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Jun 14, 2015 03:01
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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I know she might never be the same again. She might never be the woman who I fell in love with. But I want to hold onto that hope for a while.
You'll forever be haunted by the ghost of Chad Thundercock.
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Jun 15, 2015 17:28
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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Thread title is misleading, as op was "abandoned " lol long before he moved cities.
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Jun 22, 2015 22:25
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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Hey OP I thought about you today.
quote:He still loves his wife, though he's mad at her, Mitchell said. But support her? "As of right now, I don't know what to think," he said.
On the bright side, your wife hasn't tried to kill you yet!
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Jun 23, 2015 16:48
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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Why are you paying for her cell phone and other poo poo?
So he can track who she's calling?
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Jul 2, 2015 18:56
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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If he's having trouble making rent, etc. how is he going to handle child support?
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Jul 2, 2015 20:49
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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It's probably not her idea, it's her parents driving all this as she passively sits there (probably still pining for the OP). If only he could talk to her away from her parents this would all get sorted out.
Lol
Anyways she's going for the kids, and child support. P obv
How many kids is it? "Just" two? That's like nominally 1000/month.
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Jul 3, 2015 20:54
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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The woman you fell in love with never existed. the woman you fell in love with was a consciously created mask, tailored specifically to appeal to you once she identified you as a person she could gain control of. I know how very very much reading this hurts, and how much pain is going to be involved when you start to come to grips with this, but it is the truth. The whirlwind romance, the intense and constant sex in the early days, the intimate way she just "got" you was all just a lie to lure you into her control. It was never real. Nothing about here is real, and nothing about her has ever been real. She is a predator and you have been her prey since the first time she batted her eyes at you.
This situation is completely unfair and you are going to spend a bunch of time doubting your grip on reality as you work through this. Truth is though, she has spent years purposefully confusing your grip on reality, and the sooner you start working through that, the better for your kids.
the abusive neglect of your children is nothing new and a part of knows it, no matter how deeply in denial you are.
As harsh as that talk is sweetie, I really do care. Please, please, get a counselor/therapist asap.
This sweetie poo poo is v creepy
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Jul 7, 2015 01:51
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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I'm a self aware schizophrenic raised in a doomsday cult. So yeah, I'm a little batty. But I also know exactly what I am talking about in this situation. I have an unusual insight into the particulars of the OP's situation
I seldom pop into E/N but I've had a number of very popular threads in D&D over the years about my experiences with homelessness/ schizophrenia/being educated in a cult school. It may be an odd specialty but I know crazy people and abusers all too well, and that is why I posted what I did. OP needs to get real about his situation for his kids sake.
This explains a lot. Ty
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Jul 7, 2015 02:02
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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I deeply regret that I have drawn so much attention to myself in this thread. If there were not children involved I would not have spoken up. That is to say, if I had read the OP's posts and it was just him in the situation, I would have wished him well and hoped for the best on his recovery. But in this specific situation there are children involved, and I believe these children are in a very dangerous situation. That is why I have spoken up.
Let me clarify a few things that are mistaken in the wall of text dissecting me. My Diagnosis is "Bi-Polar Type II(2) Schizoaffective disorder".
Bipolar Type II is a real condition.
Schizoaffective is a real disorder, with two subttypes, Depressive and Bipolar.
I have literally never heard anyone try and argue that a person with Schizoaffective disorder is not schizophrenic. Additionally, my diagnosis is correctly stated as "Bipolar Type II Schizoaffective" which is a real diagnosis. I have Schizoaffective disorder (which is on the schizophrenic spectrum), my subtype of Schizoaffective is Bipolar, and my Bipolar is type II. I also correctly stated that I am a diagnosed schizophrenic because I do in fact have a formal diagnosis, and Schizoaffective is a form of Schizophrenia.
Next point. Yes, it is true I have recently come to a revelation about my Mother, but this is not my first rodeo with a full blown Narcissist. I was raised in a very hardcore fundamentalist cult and spent my 20's around a variety of proto cults. I have encountered Narcissists a number of times and understand them quite well, unfortunately. Realizing that my Mother was a Narcissist was painful, but this is not the first time I have worked through such a revelation. (It is just the most painful because she is my Mother) I understand what you are saying, especially considering the timing. But I am not in this case projecting my own issues.
Again, I would never speak up publicly in such a manner if there were not children involved in the situation. As much as this statement will sound like a deluded lie, I did not desire to attract attention to myself here. I appreciate how my statements appear, I really do. But to me there are three children involved in a very dangerous situation- a generational cycle of abuse that the OP may be able to get his children away from, but in order to do that he really does need to appreciate what he is dealing with.
The reason for my certainty is a bit hard to explain, and will probably sound deluded, I understand that. That said, this is the truth of why I am so certain. It really is too much to ask considering its length, but if you click on the OP of the thread I linked you would find very detailed descriptions of how the schizophrenic portions of my mind work. Specifically, how my pattern recognition functions. Included in that thread as well is a very detailed framework describing the behaviors of a variety of extremists that was designed by using the unusual pattern recognition I possess. I state all that gobbedelygook to state this next. I have unusually good pattern recognition as a result of how my mind works, and I am recognizing some very distinct patterns here in the OP. Not in the specifics per-se (although those are very important), but in how the OP constructs his writing. (How the OP constructs his thoughts) It would take an extremely long explanation, but the patterns of thought the OP is engaging in are highly consistent with a victim of Narcissistic abuse going through the rejection phase. Again, it would take an absurdly long explanation of how I am recognizing this, so instead I'll try and demonstrate.
(For the record, as much as this is going to sound like a lie, I do not want to do this. But in the specifics of this case there is not time for the OP to go through the normal years long process of piecing this all together, not while the fate of his children is in jeopardy. In my opinion the OP needs to get his children away from her because otherwise those children face the full brunt of her abuse without the OP around to blunt its effects.)
OP, here is what I am think I am recognizing as the situation here. If I am wrong, just post and say so and I will issue a full apology and gently caress off to never be heard from in this thread again.
If I had to guess though OP, here is roughly your situation. You met your wife and had an unusually fast romance, you swept each other off your feet. You two totally clicked, the romance progressed quickly. there was likely a phase of intense sexual attraction between you two and it would have seemed as if she just could not get enough. You would have felt like she just "got" you in a deep and profound way, and you fell madly in love. Then at some point her mask started to slip every so often and she slowly introduced you to her real self, or what you call "her crazy". She would switch between raging and crying at times with seeming little provocation, issuing forth rage and abusive statements that stunned you. Afterwards she would be very vulnerable and you would comfort her and things would smooth over. You would feel like her knight in shining armor, and you would feel like you were a strong man in a relationship with a beautiful but troubled soul. It would feel sort of ennobling at first, when you bore the pain of her private tantrums.
Over time though her freakouts would increase in frequency and the beautiful soul you loved would sip away. You would feel guilty over this and likely blamed yourself, you likely felt as though it was in some way your fault, and that you were just not trying hard enough or doing the right thing to help your troubled soulmate become the wonderful person you love so much. In public things were always fine and she was always that doting wonderful amazing woman you were so lucky to marry, but in private you saw less and less of that woman and more and more of her emotional episodes. There have probably been periods where that wonderful woman came back, around the time when your first child was born, and then perhaps for a long period thereafter.
For the past few years though things have been almost exclusively bad, and you have barely seen that wonderful woman in private. In public at times sure, but not really anymore in private. You have been soaking up the brunt of her emotional outbursts and doing your best to hide them from your children for some time now. It is also very likely that one of your children, likely the most sensitive one, seems to be singled out for special harassment from her. At this point, she has lost interest in you, (Either she has a target with more incomes or you have gotten too rebellious to be as easily controlled as you once were) and no longer desires to even exploit you for room and board, so she is leaving. She almost certainly has someone lined up to take your place.
At this point you have become the scapegoat. She has spread a massive whisper campaign against you to everyone she knows. You probably still have no idea what she has accused you of, but she likely accused you of it while having a tearful meltdown in front of sympathetic ears. Going forwards every action you take or do not take will be criticized. She will find every subtle way to slight you and attack you that she can think of. The reason you do not understand why things went from seemingly okay to her dumping your rear end in a hotel in only a couple days with not apparent trigger is because there was no trigger for it. This was a plan, and she merely acted the part she needed to play to keep you off your balance until she was ready to strike.
She wants to enjoy watching you writhe and suffer as she drags the divorce out and makes it as painful as possible. Her only real interest in the children is as a status symbol/a toll to hurt you with. If she got full custody of them she would abandon them the first chance she got, possibly even just up and dumping them on you one day. While they were in her custody though, without you around to bear the brunt of her "crazy"...., well I think you can imagine how that should not be permitted to happen if at all possible.
Again OP, if you say I am wrong on this and have no idea what I am talking about I will apologize and gently caress off forever. Hell, I'll stay out of E/N for 1 year 
One final thing before I go though, here is some decent advice. You need to arrange with your lawyer to "keep book" on your wife. What I mean is every single interaction you have with her or with your children, you write a detailed description of the moment it is done. No matter how inconsequential it is, just keep an honest, accurate, detailed, time-stamped account of every interaction you have with her. When your children visit you, document not only any signs of abuse, but also write up a description of what the visit entailed. If you went and got ice cream during the visit for example, mention that. If you saw a movie, mention that and the name of the movie. Try not to editorialize, you want to keep your descriptions to just the events as they played out. Once a week you need to gather up all these written accounts and take them to your layer. (Handwritten will be okay, but typing them up would be three times better) Have him witness you sign them, then leave them in your lawyers care. Ask your lawyer to keep a detailed logbook of the time and date of every weekly deposit you make.
Also, if you see something during a visit and learn of something that makes you concerned for your children's safety, contact your lawyer about that, explain the situation, and ask his advice. Do whatever he says. Ask your lawyer to make a note of the conversation mentioning its time, date, and contents. You should also write down the details of your contact with the lawyer, both of these written accounts go into the file right next to each other. (Reason being, when you eventually present this file to a judge he will be looking for ways to determine your authenticity in your written accounts. A side by side comparison over an incident will give the judge a good basis for comparison, as well as making you look like a very diligent and engaged Father for seeking out *AND ESPECIALLY FOLLOWING* Legal advice for such a sensitive situation.) Tell no one about keeping book on her, keep it just between your lawyer and yourself.
When you and your wife go before the judge you will hear a story like you have never heard before. Real events will be skewed or their order reinterpreted, in some cases events will be constructed whole cloth. Her story will be very well thought out and detailed, however, if she is not expecting you to have a detailed written account of every little thing for the past few months, then her story will not stand to detailed scrutiny. It will be easy for your lawyer to pounce and unravel her lies. Eventually some conflicting dates will be discovered in her accounting of things, some conflict between her story and the dates in which key events actually occurred. Because your lawyer has been keeping a detailed time-stamped log of every written account you have given him, the argument will switch from your word versus hers to her words versus your lawyer's, and your lawyer will win that fight hands down.
Jesus that's a true D&D crazy wall o txt. Tldr version?.
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Jul 7, 2015 21:01
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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Anything else to add?
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Jul 8, 2015 03:23
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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They are super excited to be with me, and we are having a good time, this is a lot of poo poo though, I have to figure out school and stuff and they start in a couple weeks....
Good job staying strong. But what she do to the dogge
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Aug 16, 2015 03:00
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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Take this to somewhere not my thread.
Seriously you fucktards.
So what's the next step op?
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Aug 26, 2015 02:58
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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Leg injuries. They don't know how.
The only real development is we now know she is in ohio for sure. That only makes me feel a little better.
I just wish she would talk to the kids. They are beyond upset about this and seeing the pain in them is breaking my heart. They are in therapy but that can only do so much. If there was a small part of me that wanted to work things out with her. It is now dead.
A quote from my oldest son
"I miss mommy. How can she not miss us. Does she not love us anymore. How could she not miss me. "
My youngest son cannot vocalize his feelings. He just looks sad sometimes. I asked him what was wrong one time when he was just sitting on the couch and he just hugged me and started crying.
I had a small meltdown myself after a really hard day and couldn't stop crying for an hour over how much pain they are in because she is so much of a child she can't be a decent parent and talk to her kids.
I want this nightmare to be over for the sale if my children.
Jesus dude. Sorry.
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Sep 2, 2015 17:14
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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Just dropped off the paperwork at the lawyers for the custody hearing next week. I am stressed more than ever right now so nervous she is going to show up this weekend and take my kids. 5 days.
Did they serve papers directly?
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Nov 13, 2015 02:04
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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Divorce is so messy
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Feb 10, 2016 04:09
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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I know it's a long time between updates but, I just got work that my ex has agreed to settle out of court and has pretty much agreed to what I asked for, so gently caress YEAH!
Just the final agreement to work out, and the signatures but this looks to be it.
How much did this cost?
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May 14, 2016 00:30
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 30, 2024 19:55
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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Was there any mental evaluation or ruling done on this woman? Like I don't know the definition of fit, but she doesn't seem so.
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May 20, 2016 21:39
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Jun 9, 2015 17:17
. Oh, I'd stop stalking her Facebook too. Nothing good will come of that
