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@Horse_ebooks was an extremely small view into the workings of the cosmos, before the Sleepers got their hands on them. The name, Facebook, actually refers to a physical book of detached, flattened human faces in a basement at Harvard University. Coke Zero works as a universal ritual component that will substitute for any fluid in a ritual... for about twenty-three hours.
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Jun 17, 2015 03:25
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| # ? May 7, 2024 18:03 |
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There's a secret eBay for magickal items. You have to decompile your motherboard to be able to access it. Broken clocks are actually rigth three times a day.
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Jun 17, 2015 03:46
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Contrary to popular rumor, Michael Jackson didn't buy the Elephant Man's bones. They bought him.
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Jun 17, 2015 03:59
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You know those lovely kitchen-wizard tattooists and piercers who'll offer to come to your place? Most of them are dickheads, but some of them are dickheads with a plan. For the last decade or so, a modified proxy ritual has been circulating among Epideromancers to charge up via hurting willing targets instead of themselves... a couple of them tried it with fight clubs, but it turned out it was easier to get into the "tattoo party" business. Some of them have done it long enough to get good. No matter how great his portfolio is, don't get work done by anyone who wants to work at your place and get paid by check; you don't want to get needled by someone who'll get mojo if you get sepsis. Don't trust doctors who do house calls, either. I know a guy who says that a Personamancer got hold of the same ritual, tweaked it a little, and now half the makeup and costumes people in Hollywood are charging up at work. Makes me wonder about plastic surgeons, you know? How long before those streams cross and poo poo goes really nuts in LA? You hear all kinds of dumb poo poo about Ross UIbricht these days, but I think it's all bullshit. Sure, the guy was a Merchant and gunning hard to climb the ladder, but that's obvious. What I don't buy is that the Spider or the Swap Meet guys set him up for a fall. He just tried to run before he could walk, that's all. Starting out in illegals and weird poo poo before you've got your legs under you is dumb, dumb, dumb -- why do you think all the best Merchants come out of safe, legal starter jobs? If Ross had started on a used-car lot, he'd probably have been godwalker by 40. loving moron. Speaking of godwalking, what I'm waiting for is the Anonymous showdown. There are dozens of guys on the Internet who have been shooting for the Clergy as some flavor of Anonymous for years now. Most of 'em are gently caress-ups -- some of them don't even know what they're doing -- but a few of them are starting to get serious. If anyone in the Underground got Ross Ulbricht busted, I bet it was one of them, because if a real avatar instead of an upstart gets to the niche first, they're hosed. I'm wondering what happens next: they start eating each other, or they start trying to knock off Dermott Arkane?
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Jun 17, 2015 04:45
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Count Chocula posted:If that's true, than what are they going to do to prevent all the Entropomantic chaos that spawned from Fury Road? Because everyone feels charged up after watching it. And that's because, in a variant of a Max Attax ritual, half the people who watched it picked up a Minor charge. Most people just waste it, but Entropomancer know what they need to do to make it a Sig charge...
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Jun 17, 2015 04:54
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Strange Matter posted:Excellent suggestions, especially the "must play your obsessed game when challenged" part. I think that's fair. It gives them, in terms they would use, an out to play to. This archetype has a really interesting angle on it. I can see it creating "heart of the cards" type yu-gi character or a more cerebral SAW-like villain, depending on circumstance. What is your idea for its driving paradox?
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Jun 17, 2015 06:31
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Count Chocula posted:
ugh, now I want to write up a PUA- school, but... gross.
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Jun 17, 2015 06:32
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There's a homeless guy in New Orleans who'll tell you your fortune if you give him a silver dollar. He's always wrong, though - no, don't laugh. I mean he's always wrong. Whatever he predicts? Guaranteed it will never happen to you!
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Jun 17, 2015 07:30
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Impermanent posted:ugh, now I want to write up a PUA- school, but... gross. Amoromancers from Postmodern Magick might fit the bill, actually; they're a school about making people fall in love with you, then breaking their hearts, and they taboo if they go monogamous for a month or more. It'd be pretty trivial to make up some formula spells that fit the stupid NLP "point to your dick" tricks that PUAs think brainwash people, too.
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Jun 17, 2015 09:32
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Your true name is the first set of initials you entered in an arcade game's high score list. If it wasn't rear end, it's much harder to guess. Nancy's alive but Courtney's dead.
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Jun 17, 2015 10:59
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Lithium-ion batteries are natural magick sinks that convert charges into neutrinos. This is preventing the creation of schools focusing on electronic gadgets from forming and posing a serious threat to the coherence of reality by the sheer number of potential adepts. Impermanent posted:I think that's fair. It gives them, in terms they would use, an out to play to. This archetype has a really interesting angle on it. I can see it creating "heart of the cards" type yu-gi character or a more cerebral SAW-like villain, depending on circumstance. What is your idea for its driving paradox?
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Jun 17, 2015 13:34
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Antivehicular posted:Speaking of godwalking, what I'm waiting for is the Anonymous showdown. There are dozens of guys on the Internet who have been shooting for the Clergy as some flavor of Anonymous for years now. Most of 'em are gently caress-ups -- some of them don't even know what they're doing -- but a few of them are starting to get serious. If anyone in the Underground got Ross Ulbricht busted, I bet it was one of them, because if a real avatar instead of an upstart gets to the niche first, they're hosed. I'm wondering what happens next: they start eating each other, or they start trying to knock off Dermott Arkane? Anonymous is pretty drat UA when you think about it: a bunch of guys obsessed with getting attention and fame, and yet steadfastly deflecting recognition.
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Jun 17, 2015 22:22
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Saint Anger is an actual Saint. He thrives on the rage directed at every crappy album ever created and he's been growing in power exponentially since the 1990's.
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Jun 17, 2015 22:37
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There was once a time when Slenderman was an actual threat...maybe. See, the trick is that there's supposedly this guy who goes around, finds this crazy poo poo and kills them, before his friend uploads them to the internet and turns them into memes. In doing so, supposedly this prevents any actual attempts at revival.
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Jun 18, 2015 01:15
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"Ok ok, fine, you really want to know what happened to my arm?... I sold it. That's right, I sold my left arm to a cult for a few hundred bucks. When you've been sleeping under a bridge and eating trash for months, a left arm is a small price to pay. I mean they did it real professional, too. They put me under during surgery... no pain, no scaring or nothing. And, hell, it's a LOT easier to bum change when you can pass for a war vet." "No, I don't know why they wanted it. I didn't ask questions. All I know is that if it gets out I told the cops, they'll get me and find a use for the rest of my body."
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Jun 18, 2015 02:53
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An excuse to write dumb rumors/fiction for an amazing game? Don't mind if I do!quote:The "Resurrection Men," glorified gravediggers, unleashed the Night Doctors back in the 19th Century when they were digging bodies up to desperate medical students and facilities. The Night Doctors terrorized the U.S. ever since, and the medical industry had been at war with them since its inception. However, lately the wards that kept the Night Doctors mostly sealed in the FDA and healthcare laws have begun to break down with the recent disputes in Congress. Now, every day, more and more hospitals are being run entirely by the Night Doctors, carving up their "patients" and experimenting on them. While politicians turn the symptoms into a talking point, the real problem is foolishly being ignored. quote:You know how it seems like every digital sign you drive past is broken somehow, with patterns of blown out bulbs and random squares of pixels always lit? They're pattern components of a QR code. A few people have tried to assemble this QR code to varying results. Some say it's a message to send to spies, some say it's a 5th dimensional invasion. However, in each case the same line pops up: "n0th1ng 1s s4f3 w1th th3 l0rd d0 n0t tr4nsl4t3". One person who thought they had cracked half of the code was supposed to have been found dead in their house the week after they posted their findings. Strangely enough, there's whispers that they were found with no identifying features on them whatsoever, not even a face. quote:Okay, so listen. Everyone's been talking about how weird as poo poo reality's been lately right? Now, everyone I know who is in the know, know what I'm saying? Everyone I know in the know always goes on about how Cops being aired back in the Writer's Strike was the thing that broke reality and made people think they were action heroes and rock stars and made rock stars and action heroes seem pathetic. You know what I say? That's BS. See, it wasn't reality TV that did it, I mean we had documentaries and anthropological films and poo poo being recorded with video cameras, right? Maybe takes a few souls, but it doesn't break that fragile little reality bubble, not even close. quote:FEAR THE CONSUMER!
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Jun 18, 2015 04:25
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E-mail spam isn't just named after some goofy Monty Python skit about spiced ham. Every time a can of Spam is bought in stores, that's one more dick enlargement ad or shady medical school or Nigerian 419 plea showing up in your junk filter.
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Jun 18, 2015 05:59
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You know all of those ASMR videos? They are actually a pretty decent way to pass minor charges. You gotta be attuned to them correctly, though.
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Jun 18, 2015 10:17
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AlanWhats posted:An excuse to write dumb rumors/fiction for an amazing game? Don't mind if I do!
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Jun 18, 2015 13:12
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If you boil one of those cans of coke that have the names on them and concentrate on a person you know that has a matching name while you drink it, you can hear what they're really saying behind your back.
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Jun 18, 2015 23:29
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This thread is great, but the Montreal Dimensionjob is Brilliant.
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Jun 19, 2015 20:55
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Almost every single person involved in Doctor Who since the reboot is a Videomancer who was obsessed with the show since they were a kid. That's not a rumor, that's a documented fact. So what have they been spending their Major charges on? And why was it the first thing BBC broadcast after the JFK assassination?
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Jun 20, 2015 01:27
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There is no videogame related adept school. There is no videogame-related avatar. There are no videogame-related rituals. Videomancers cannot charge off of videogames or videogame streaming shows, no matter how hard they try. There are no occult video-game artifacts. Why?
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Jun 20, 2015 01:44
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There are actually 28 letters in the English language, but very few know about these other two. All those mega-million selling authors--King, Crichton, Grisham, Dan Brown, Danielle Steel, Evanovich, Stephanie Meyer--make extensive use of the 27th letter. The 28th letter never shows up in books that top the sales lists, but it is in every title that has won the Man Booker prize.
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Jun 20, 2015 03:00
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Why did the Red Sox only win the World Series the year Stephen King was writing about them? Why did 2 of the Bachman Books predict horrible tragedies? Which of King's sons is his proxy? Why did the copy of Thinner I tried to throw out reappear in the same spot? And what's with the 'Stephen King killed John Lennon' van guy in New York? Doesn't he know that Clive Barker pulled the trigger? Two real life Adepts: http://dylanology.org/ Garbologist AJ Weberman digs through Bob Dylan's trash looking for truth. http://www.mreternity.info/ Arthur Stace is Sydney's most famous Urbanomancer. Want to know what a major charge looks like? Try having a piece of grafitti you obsessively scrawled end up in lights on the Sydney Harbor Bridge and the Olympics. Count Chocula fucked around with this message at 03:20 on Jun 20, 2015 |
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Jun 20, 2015 03:15
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There is no Stephen King. That guy on the book jackets? Who goes to in-store appearances, makes cameos in "his" movies, goes on Celebrity Jeopardy? Just an actor. Everything ever published under that name is the transcribed dreams of a housewife from Omaha; her husband started recording her sleep-talking back in '67. She died in 1983, but there's enough tapes for at least another forty novels.
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Jun 20, 2015 03:21
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Ratoslov posted:There is no videogame related adept school. There is no videogame-related avatar. There are no videogame-related rituals. Videomancers cannot charge off of videogames or videogame streaming shows, no matter how hard they try. There are no occult video-game artifacts. Why? Videogames were invented by the Sleepers to channel the obsessive tendencies of would-be Adepts.
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Jun 20, 2015 03:27
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Ever since Burger King Australia was forced to change its name to Hungry Jacks, no Avatar of the True King has been able to spend more than 9 days in the country. There's a Cold War between the Max Attax and the MasterChefs, a cabal of cooking show obsessed videomancers who can share charges by cooking dishes exactly as they see them on TV.
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Jun 21, 2015 04:34
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Every CEO of a Fortune 500 company has tasted human flesh.
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Jun 25, 2015 02:59
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Ratoslov posted:There is no videogame related adept school. There is no videogame-related avatar. There are no videogame-related rituals. Videomancers cannot charge off of videogames or videogame streaming shows, no matter how hard they try. There are no occult video-game artifacts. Why? The group behind the Nintendo Help Hotline controls the flow of charges. If they think you're worthy, you might get a Real cheat code.
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Jun 25, 2015 13:53
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Everything Counts posted:There is no Stephen King. That guy on the book jackets? Who goes to in-store appearances, makes cameos in "his" movies, goes on Celebrity Jeopardy? Just an actor. Everything ever published under that name is the transcribed dreams of a housewife from Omaha; her husband started recording her sleep-talking back in '67. She died in 1983, but there's enough tapes for at least another forty novels.
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Jun 25, 2015 14:03
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Strange Matter posted:I KNEW IT! Mad Fnorder posted:This thread is great, but the Montreal Dimensionjob is Brilliant.  Thanks y'all. I was particularly proud of that one. quote:Caffeine is a drug, and drugs rule over us all like kings. A Starbucks on every corner is an obvious tip, but have you ever looked at the ceilings? Stare at some ceiling tiles for a little bit and you start to see coffee stains... quote:Gladiator 2: Christ Killer wasn't turned down because it was "too far-fetched" or Russell Crowe didn't like it. They were...shall we say encouraged to turn it down by a certain Maximus. It was going to be made and released in 2010, but the dramatic release of Inception and the box office winnings of Avatar took whatever energy was available for their own purposes. All I'm saying is brace yourself for 2020. quote:U.S. Route 491 is no longer the Devil's Highway, the Urbanomancers of Four Corners saw to that. They couldn't get rid of Route 666 though, no matter how hard they tried. So they just offloaded it. Now the Route travels like a snake across America, slithering along the highway system according to the phases of the sun, fully appearing in reality during the solar eclipse.
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Jun 25, 2015 14:47
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Ratoslov posted:There is no videogame related adept school. There is no videogame-related avatar. There are no videogame-related rituals. Videomancers cannot charge off of videogames or videogame streaming shows, no matter how hard they try. There are no occult video-game artifacts. Why? The question is, what form will it take? Will there be Virtuamancer Adepts running the streets, trying to nab high scores over each other? Or is there a host of unconscious Avatars secretly channeling The Player of Games who will soon awaken?
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Jun 25, 2015 22:29
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You know how when you buy coffee, most of the time it's fine to drink straight away but sometimes it's way too hot? Next time this happens to you, watch what the cashier does when you taste it and realise it's too hot to drink. Bring some mints in case they notice that you noticed.
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Jun 26, 2015 00:09
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Tom Clancy was a living seal keeping the Cold War back by symbolically fighting it over and over again. His death is the direct cause of the rise in tensions between East and West.
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Jun 26, 2015 00:21
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...TIL Tom Clancy died. I probably heard when it happened, but it slipped my mind. ...or maybe he did fake his death. The charges that always come after a celebrity's death were funneled by him into a spell to help him hide from those who hunted him in life. A side effect is that other people forgot he'd ever been around at all.
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Jun 26, 2015 02:57
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No man, there never was a "Tom Clancy". You see there is an old fashioned typewriter in an unmarked office in an unmarked sub-basement of the Pentagon that types on its own. Since VE day it's been the job of a blind soldier to continuously feed the machine's voracious appetite for paper. The words it produces tell of a violent future of amazing machines and war. The Joint Chiefs work diligently to ensure America has access to the weapons of war foretold in the pages while preventing the terrible wars they describe. That's not the weird part though. You see all of the pages in the Pentagon are shredded and burned, yet the books still appear on the shelf every quarter or so under the name Tom Clancy.
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Jun 26, 2015 03:13
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There is a spot where five states connect. It moves around. Many of the worst Confederates were actually abolitionists before the war. In 1859, their reflection came to life and swapped places with them, leading to the Civil War. All proofs of this fact have systematically been erased by the Sons of the Confederacy. The Country of Canada does not actually exist: it's a massive scam that grew out of control sixty years ago.
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Jun 26, 2015 04:28
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Nah man, where do you think all those Canadian comedians come from? No way they're all part of a plot to undermine American seriousness. Just never laugh at a flag on the Fourth of July. Or the 5th.
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Jun 26, 2015 04:45
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Strange Matter posted:Ever wonder why Atari buried their E.T. carts in the desert encased in concrete instead of just scrapping them? Doesn't that seem...theatrical? It's because it was part of a ritual. The Sleepers saw the potential of the medium and squashed it, and ever since it's been a magickal wasteland. But of course that company from Ottawa dug them up, so all bets are off ow. You know that compulsion you feel to buy everything whenever Steam goes on another one of their gigantic sales? Why do you think you get it every single time one goes up, even when it involves stupid gimmicks like coal or cards or something? Check the terms of service next time Steam updates. Just more groundwork for the inevitable.
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Jun 26, 2015 05:06
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