Baloogan posted:

Panty Saluter posted:

quote:

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan . One of the courses had a professor who was a vowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, “God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I’ll give you exactly 15 minutes.” The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.

Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, “Here I am God. I’m still waiting.” It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and lifted up his arm to strike him.

At that moment the professor was transformed into a 7-foot grizzly, wreathed in a halo of holy fire. The bear spoke: "Blasphemer thou art, thou thinkst to take the place of God? Those who deny me face eternal fire, but you who knows my work and yet commits the sin of Satan I curse a hundred times over!" The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently picking at his boils. Then Richard Dawkins burst into the room, wielding a copy of The Selfish Gene and crying "Leave that boy alone, you pathetic atavism!" As the holy bear whirled around, terrible light flashing in its eyes, Dawkins shed his mortal form, raised each of his seven horned heads, and hissed. "It'ssss me you want!". And then the Lord and the Antichrist joined in the final battle.

The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence.

Barometer posted:

http://theslot.jezebel.com/melania-trump-definitely-loves-her-husband-and-is-very-1791531766

throw to first drat IT posted:

I'm a bit confused, why is ISIS there?

Push El Burrito posted:

Whoa wait a second, THAT'S where Trey Gowdy got his start?

TheBigAristotle posted:

Classy

owl_pellet posted:

Yeah he was so excited to kill a black guy for a second that he forgot how his gun worked

Looking at city flags the one for Buffalo NY owns:

pillsburysoldier posted:

TheBigAristotle posted:

Source

throw to first drat IT posted:

Rugoberta Munchu posted:

Oldie but goodie.

https://twitter.com/GrabHerBrain/status/788895832288350208

Glazier posted:

I can't believe Goons are just now learning about Courtesy Badges/Cards. I had one when my father worked for the BoP, saved me from getting caught in a lot of traps on I-10 from Florida to Texas.

Rugoberta Munchu posted:

https://twitter.com/DJCPI/status/955454023599083523