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Okay, one more and then I'm done. At least until I make a thread for the rest of the deck. Fifty Farts has a new favorite as of 20:08 on Oct 25, 2023 |
# ? Oct 21, 2023 03:19 |
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# ? May 3, 2024 19:10 |
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PYF terrible book: see also MUSICAL FRUIT
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# ? Oct 21, 2023 03:44 |
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Captain Hygiene posted:PYF terrible book: see also MUSICAL FRUIT As much as I appreciate your enthusiasm for the subject, I think the thread title should be related to actual books, not joke playing cards. edit: I nominate "PYF Terrible Book: All about merkins" from Unkempt's post about Maledicta a few pages back. edit 2: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=1&threadid=4045326&pagenumber=1&perpage=40#post535411355 I made a thread to post more cards in to end the fart-digression in this one Fifty Farts has a new favorite as of 04:48 on Oct 21, 2023 |
# ? Oct 21, 2023 03:48 |
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Xlorp posted:What a language; 50 words for snow. And over here we have... 50 words for fart you dont tho. you have a million words that describe things, but when they describe a fart its still just "fart". a big fart, a thunderous fart. ill give you "shart" but still. meanwhile we over here have at least 3 specific words that only mean fart, and theyre on a graduated schale.
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# ? Oct 21, 2023 04:50 |
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here, actual words that mean a fart and nothing else (except by comparison "du'en fis i en hornlygte" = "you aint poo poo", i dont count those): - fjært (a very small fart, cognate to the english, rarely used by anyone under 60) - fis (a rather small fart, no sound except perhaps "pfffft") - prut (this fart has a sound, but it doesnt necessarily stink up the room) - skid (now we're talking, this is a great fart) - brandskid (im not counting this one, its just adding burn- to the previous, self-explanatory) also, 3d megadoodoo taught me the finnish a while ago: pier / prööt / pask Carthag Tuek has a new favorite as of 05:21 on Oct 21, 2023 |
# ? Oct 21, 2023 05:19 |
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Carthag Tuek posted:you dont tho. you have a million words that describe things, but when they describe a fart its still just "fart". a big fart, a thunderous fart. ill give you "shart" but still. It's not 50 words, that's true. It's 50 pictures. Scenarios. Stories. Each worth 1000 words.
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# ? Oct 21, 2023 05:20 |
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Xlorp posted:It's not 50 words, that's true. It's 50 pictures. Scenarios. Stories. Each worth 1000 words. now were talkin!
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# ? Oct 21, 2023 05:22 |
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Xlorp posted:It's not 50 words, that's true. It's 50 pictures. Scenarios. Stories. Each worth 1000 words. 50 Sharts of Brown
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# ? Oct 21, 2023 08:02 |
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Captain Hygiene posted:So I went back on my previous Dan Simmons post and dived back in for one more when I saw that he'd written another historical novel, The Abominable. It actually mostly manages to sidestep the specific gripes with him I complained about earlier, but I really need to talk about it somewhere because what it does instead is go to some real places. I just terrible book'd myself again on accident. I was going through my book list and decided to reread this one for some mountain climbing adventures - big mistake, I had completely forgotten everything related to those late story spoilers. I just got there this morning, and I'm angry all over again. It's one of the times I've turned the hardest on a book that I was generally enjoying, it's so unnecessary and stupid. The book would be so much better if they completely ditched all of that plotline and stuck to the mountaineering parts. Well, rant over. I look forward to having this same complaint in another couple years when I've once again forgotten everything related to that later stuff.
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# ? Oct 22, 2023 17:04 |
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Captain Hygiene wakes on a new morning and ventures to the water closet to live up to his name. He begins to undress but suddenly, a dark smear catches his eye. Divesting himself of his shirt he sees a tattoo on his stomach. "Don't read Dan Simmons" Bending to see it better he spots another. "Specifically, The Abominable " What is this? Where did this come from? He has no memory of the process. A third tattoo - just a series of tick marks. How did they get here? How did he get here? Frantically twisting to search for clues he spots one more. "You probably should have just put a post it on the cover. That would have been easier." He would get to the bottom of this, and he knew just where to start. He had some reading to do.
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# ? Nov 10, 2023 00:55 |
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HelleSpud posted:Captain Hygiene wakes on a new morning and ventures to the water closet to live up to his name. lmao
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# ? Nov 10, 2023 02:06 |
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Captain Hygiene posted:I just terrible book'd myself again on accident. Lmao I did pick up this book because hey, The Terror is cool and fun and I like mountaineering stories and when it revealed there aren't any loving yetis just dudes in costumes!!! I gave up and returned it to the library. Then after the fact I realized goons consider it Simmon's worst book.
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# ? Nov 10, 2023 02:19 |
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HelleSpud posted:"Don't read Dan Simmons" But you can also tell I'm already in trouble because I went and got another Dan Simmons book I'd never heard of, The Fifth Heart. It's actually pretty fun, but it kind of belongs in this thread because it's the most pastiche-y pastiche I've ever read, being the adventures of Henry James and Sherlock Holmes alongside any number of historical figures.
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# ? Nov 10, 2023 02:42 |
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I've never read anything by Dan Simmons but everything I've heard about him makes his books sound like something to avoid. I did see the TV adaptation of The Terror, which was great, but I can't imagine the book is nearly as good, given the things the series changed for the better (Franklin's portrayal, Lady Silence marrying Crozier instead of merely having an unspoken kind-of feelings for Goodsir, Hankey not being a murderer who stole someone's identity).
Vincent Van Goatse has a new favorite as of 02:52 on Nov 10, 2023 |
# ? Nov 10, 2023 02:49 |
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The Terror as a novel is actually solid enough at its core, if it could be trimmed down by about 1/3 and have its very iffy portrayal of the arctic natives removed (Lady Silence in particular) I'd give it a pretty strong recommendation.
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# ? Nov 10, 2023 02:57 |
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Suleman posted:Speaking of Dan Simmons, how about Flashback? quote:The Japanese are all honor-bound ninja robots, the mexicans are all la raza -fanatics, the muslims inhuman zealots in the best traditions of Hollywood. And all the black addicts literally have N----r as a middle name.
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# ? Nov 10, 2023 06:10 |
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lol no loving way. Is he a chud or just boomer-brained?
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# ? Nov 10, 2023 06:46 |
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Oldstench posted:lol no loving way. Is he a chud or just boomer-brained? after 9/11 he turned the racism knob 1000% up. i remember he posted a short story to his blog where he gets visited by his future self who warns if we don't kill all the muslims the west will fall.
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# ? Nov 10, 2023 06:51 |
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Hyperion is .y favourite book, and it really makes me quite sad that Dan Simmons vanished without a trace on September 10th, 2001, leaving no other books behind.
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# ? Nov 10, 2023 07:06 |
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I started saying what the gently caress at "Then came last year's Black Hills, a less satisfying story that posited an American Indian's mystical union with the soul of General George Custer." And it just got worse.
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# ? Nov 10, 2023 08:04 |
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That last bit reads like a fyad joke
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# ? Nov 10, 2023 08:32 |
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America's infrastructure crumbling could only happen under a foreign occupying regime
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# ? Nov 10, 2023 08:53 |
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quote:Meanwhile, Nick has been hired by a Catholic, multibillionaire Japanese overlord to solve the six-year-old murder of his son, a case Nick had failed to crack when he was on the police force. Why call on him again? It's a mystery and a growing source of great fishiness. Getting to the bottom of it involves quantities of flashback, some high-tech virtual-reality spectacles, an enormous, impassive Japanese warrior dude, a few ninjas, two futuristic armored personnel carriers, and one 2015 Chevy Camaro with gun slits for windows and a "raging 6.2-liter l99 V-8 engine" (delivering "603 horsepower and 518-pound-feet of torque"). If anything can plow through polemics, this baby can, and indeed, the battles and chases that interrupt their didactic flow provide the book's only entertainment. In the end, the novel's real mystery remains: How could the witty and potent imagination that produced The Terror and Drood wither to such smug and censorious dullness? So, a Neal Stephenson collaboration?
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# ? Nov 10, 2023 09:45 |
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nonathlon posted:So, a Neal Stephenson collaboration? Can't be, it's only 600 pages.
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# ? Nov 10, 2023 10:03 |
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The Japanese taking over America with their superior economy is some 80s vintage racist paranoia, it feels out of place alongside rants about Obama. Didn't Simmons get the memo that it's the Chinese who are the Asians we're scared of now?
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# ? Nov 10, 2023 12:10 |
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Ghost Leviathan posted:America's infrastructure crumbling could only happen under a foreign occupying regime Good news: Our current regime is a bunch of multinational corporations who use bank havens in the Caribbean!
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# ? Nov 10, 2023 12:29 |
big dyke energy posted:Lmao I did pick up this book because hey, The Terror is cool and fun and I like mountaineering stories and when it revealed there aren't any loving yetis just dudes in costumes!!! I gave up and returned it to the library. Then after the fact I realized goons consider it Simmon's worst book. It's been.a while, but I recall at the end that there's a point where they think it's the dudes in suits, but later they found they were already gone, so there's an ambiguous "maybe yetis are real!" kind of ending. And while not good, I wouldn't call it his worst.
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# ? Nov 10, 2023 14:22 |
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Solumin posted:I started saying what the gently caress at "Then came last year's Black Hills, a less satisfying story that posited an American Indian's mystical union with the soul of General George Custer." And it just got worse. I tried reading that book but it was terrible and didn't do anything interesting with the premise. You'd think there would be some interesting interaction between the two but instead Custer is just a stream of conscious ramble.
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# ? Nov 10, 2023 14:51 |
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So while taking a shower, a wholly different strain of terrible came roaring back in my memories. There was this yearly collection of stories, several of which I read (the collections), called "The Year's Best Fantasy and Horror" or something like that. And one year, in amongst the more traditional fantasy and horror stories, was someone swinging a crowbar into my mental teeth. I am not going to give the story's title, I don't want to bring more attention to it. But basically, it's a zombie story. Seems like a traditional story, save for one detail: the main female character is constantly noted to be incredibly beautiful and desirable. Anyway, it's a small town, society is slowly collapsing, and too many of the locals are not taking the whole zombie thing seriously enough (there's one scene where they're basically doing their equivalent of Zombieland's Zombie Kill of the Week, by hanging a zombie using piano wire). Anyway, the main female's love interest gets killed by those yokels who clearly want to do THINGS to the female main character, then the love interest comes back as a zombie and brutally kills them all. I bet some of you are guessing at what happens next that hurt my brain so bad, but oh no, it's worse. The love interest zombie gets rekilled, I forget how, and it turns out that while the whole 'saving main character from gang rape' was happening, it seems like a zombie biting rapid snowball effect happened and the whole town has become zombies and they invade where the female main character is. What follows is two pages of zombie rape, male AND female (because EVERYONE wanted the female main character) and the female main sees that basically the whole town is behind the first ones to run a train on her. So she manages to grab a gun and hopes there is one bullet. There is, she assumingly shoots herself and dies, THE END. In retrospect, that was probably my first exposure to a writer shoving their REALLY hosed UP sexual fantasies into their work. It might have made more sense to appear in one of those collections of sexually based horror (Hot Blood, were they called?), instead of suddenly exploding out of a more general collection like a drat land mine. Some people talk about how they forget how bad something is and re-read it. I know that'll never happen to ME. (Why did the shower do this? Because it didn't heat up properly, and I went "Gah, COLD!" and that prompted the boil to burst, so to speak). (Though maybe there was an editor on the book that liked occasional 'OH MY loving GOD' stories, because I THINK that in a later collection is where I first read Chuck Palahnuik's 'Guts'. Which also has stuck with me, but at least not in a 'I regret reading this and wish I could wipe it from my memory' sense).
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# ? Dec 3, 2023 08:42 |
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Was looking up Lionel Fanthorpe stuff for the pseudonym thread so have this excerpt I found from his 'March of the Robots'.quote:BIG and round, like a great silver full moon it came out of the sky. First as
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# ? Dec 13, 2023 13:17 |
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I saw Fanthorpe talk once. He seemed to completely understand where his place in the world was and what his writing was like, and had a sense of humour about it. And that writing up above? I've certainly read a lot worse. It's like 50s pulp SF, written quickly for money and with few ambitions.
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# ? Dec 13, 2023 14:26 |
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Fanthorpe was purestrain paid by the word and perfectly happy about it. May we all get to live so well.
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# ? Dec 13, 2023 14:33 |
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Oh yeah, I love that stuff. Not sure I could read a whole book though. It's also eerily reminiscent of Garrh Marenghi. Just needs more blood, and a bit of sick.
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# ? Dec 13, 2023 15:16 |
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I can't help but read that as spoken by a baptist preacher.
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# ? Dec 13, 2023 17:51 |
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Ghost Leviathan posted:I can't help but read that as spoken by a baptist preacher. I really want to hear that as the weird sampled audio for a Godspeed You! Black Emperor track
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# ? Dec 13, 2023 17:59 |
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Ghost Leviathan posted:I can't help but read that as spoken by a baptist preacher. I can easily imagine listening that ranted tinnily from a distant AM station at 3am as I drive through backwoods Louisiana.
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# ? Dec 13, 2023 18:33 |
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Ghost Leviathan posted:I can't help but read that as spoken by a baptist preacher. I'm imagining Mojo Jojo.
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# ? Dec 13, 2023 19:03 |
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nonathlon posted:I saw Fanthorpe talk once. He seemed to completely understand where his place in the world was and what his writing was like, and had a sense of humour about it. And that writing up above? I've certainly read a lot worse. It's like 50s pulp SF, written quickly for money and with few ambitions. It's wild because there are some authentically good images in there, and it would probably work very well if it was just edited to remove the redundancies, so I can totally buy that it was written by someone self-aware but paid by the word and working fast.
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# ? Dec 13, 2023 22:12 |
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Can’t remember where I got this but it’s pretty great
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# ? Dec 27, 2023 19:48 |
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# ? May 3, 2024 19:10 |
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I sincerely hope there is a chapter on cheese.
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# ? Dec 27, 2023 20:52 |