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Flowers in the Attic You can love your sister, but you shouldn't love your sister. I enjoy this podcast about terrible books: I Don't Even Own a Television
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Jul 1, 2015 22:17
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It does seem to be a feature of scifi in particular that you'll be happily reading a book and suddenly BAM the author's dick slaps you right in the face. I started to read the Uplift trilogy lately and like three pages in he's drooling over a lady in a bikini bringing him a sandwich and siiiigh.
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Nov 27, 2015 06:09
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My favourite terrible book is The Fall of Lucifer, book one in the Chronicles of Brothers series. I bought it because I'm a sucker for stories about angels (not lovely inspirational poo poo, actual awesome angels) and my God, it's awful. Everything is just so overwritten. They're insanely popular and I honestly don't really understand it. It's hard to pick out passages that convey the full, dragging weight of Wendy Alec's prose but I will try: quote:Lucifer stood, an imperial figure. His monstrous black war chariot, riding on the shafts of thunderbolts, the huge silver wheels sprung with the sharpest war blades, was pulled by eight of his finest dark-winged stallions, their manes intertwined with platinum, caparisoned as for war, glistening black as the night. quote:Lucifer hesitated, mystified. He frowned. "...not the code for angelic DNA."
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Mar 24, 2016 21:30
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Hey it's Good Friday! So I went back into the book, and I found the bit where Satan enters the garden of Eden to tempt the humans to fall. Yeah her theology is pretty wack but I don't mind that in itself. I just mind her writing. I should note that he only turned into a snake to sneak in, he turned back into a hot dude in order to talk to Eve.quote:Eve blinked, her thoughts in disarray. "But Yehovah said that if we eat of its fruit, we shall surely die." I didn't add those ellipses. They were there in the text. Here's a bit of the great flood. Such imagery! In this book she blends magic and high technology to give you angels who use iPads, basically. quote:Michael and his warriors surrounded the ark like a shield as the great waves of muddy water jettisoned high above Earth, hurling up asteroids. The violent floodwaters unleashed their boiling frenzy upon all those on the Earth-- men, women, and the Nephilim desperate to escape its wrath. quote:The angelic host waited on the ocean waves astride their huge stallions, silently watching the ark for signs of life. The great vessel had suffered tremendous external damage. chortled euphorically
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Mar 25, 2016 14:12
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Holy poo poo, that's beautiful. The perfect car crash of imagination and incompetence.
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May 2, 2016 12:54
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I can't remember if I've bitched about this before in this thread but nothing ruins an otherwise-decent scifi book for me more than the author's dick just slapping itself all over the page. It's not even that egregious, it's just something that annoys me to no end. I tried to read the Uplift trilogy and then the first time a woman appears, on like page four or something, the book immediately drools all over the swimsuit she's wearing like, gently caress offffff
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Jul 24, 2016 12:16
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Thank you for posting China Mieville.  I recently tried to read a book I grabbed for 75p at a charity shop, 'Seeds of Earth' by Michael Cobley. I was in the mood for some basic scifi. It's not horrific, it's just - really badly written. The prose is clunky and tin-eared and the dialogue is poor and-- it reminds me of when I tried to read 'The Da Vinci Code'. I know these things are successful because a lot of people don't give a poo poo about prose quality, and I'm not saying they should or anything. It's just kind of sad.
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Jul 28, 2016 11:53
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I like how the sexism comes creeping across in that post. Goodness, the professional women weren't looking very pretty when you talked to them, heaven forfend.
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Jul 28, 2016 12:01
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I read Unwind and the scene where they actually do it to one teenager was very effective and still bothers me and I kind of hate the author for doing that. Because as explained above by other people, the whole thing is stupid as gently caress. I read through Divergent hoping there'd be some kind of twist, like *everyone* is actually told they're divergent so they're all playing this weird cat-and-mouse with each other, but nope. It's as stupid as it looks.
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Oct 20, 2016 23:56
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there wolf posted:Anyone ever read the YA book King wrote for his daughter? If that's The Eyes of the Dragon then for my money it's pretty good. But I like a lot of King books that other posters have said they hate so don't take my word for it. He's a real YMMV author.
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Nov 1, 2016 00:25
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The Patrick Rothfuss thread over in TBB has convinced me that Name of the Wind is basically just Twilight for boys. Twilight is awful but the fact that it's 'for girls' definitely attracted some more vitriol. Oh and The Host is okay but ends with a chick who is repeatedly described as tiny and childlike getting together with a much bigger man and it feels a bit weird.
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Dec 4, 2016 13:04
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My favourite not-there subplot of Twilight is how Carlisle Cullen is a completely crazy person who is trying to force his century-old family into acting like a Regular Human Family. We play family baseball! THAT IS WHAT FAMILIES DO. GO TO SCHOOL. KIDS GO TO SCHOOL. We are a happy family. A HAPPY FAMILY.
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Dec 4, 2016 22:33
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BioEnchanted posted:The book itself isn't really terrible, but there isn't a good book thread outside of the pretty dead book barn, and as a children's book it's saddled with a lot of bad characters, but I just reread Krindlekrax by Philip Ridley, released in 1991 which I haven't read in 17 years. I revisited it because I remembered enjoying it as a kid, and while the first half is a bit lacking due to most of the characters having a lot of bad gimmicks like the teacher who is reduced to tears by the mere mention of Shakespeare, or the main character's mother who when stressed always says "Polly-wolly-doodle-all-the-day" which is annoying as gently caress to read from the start, the main character, Ruskin Splinter, is a stone cold badass. He is a weedy little runt with an almost inaudible voice, but he has the heart of a lion and the balls of a rhinocerous. He is 11.  I know it's not really what the thread is for but it's nice sometimes to see someone enjoying something so much. I enjoyed reading this, thanks friend!
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Mar 11, 2019 00:33
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Here you go, if anyone actually wants to know. Dr Thomas Meade, Spearfish physician and the first to testify, told of examining the child shortly after arrival with Lawrence County officers, Spearfish police and highway patrolmen at the Eddings house the evening of Jan. 25. He told of finding the child in a fenced enclosure under the basement steps, wearing only an undershirt. Dr Meade described Scott David Eddings's appearance as "bewildered, friendly but frightened". On first examination he noted one of his hands were swollen as if circulation had been impaired; that the child walked with a limp, had a small cut on his cheek and a bruised leg. A later and more extensive examination disclosed that the child had multiple bruises on both legs, both old and fresh; an abnormality of the scalp. Dr Meade said perhaps the most evident thing he noticed was the fright and furtive glances that the child made each time someone came down the steps into the basement. Other observations by Dr Meade included... one-half of a large safety pin hung from a hook in the concrete block which the child demonstrated by pricking it into a small wound in his arm; and a screen-type apparatus which the doctor said was apparently used to hold him down. loving monstrous.
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May 25, 2019 15:28
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Strom Cuzewon posted:So, The Addams family? Gomez Addams is the only good billionaire because he will literally just give anyone money if they ask him for it.
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Dec 6, 2019 23:57
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Robert Pattinson read the Edward book and based his performance on it which is why he hates the character so much
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Dec 16, 2019 01:54
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SimonChris posted:This isn't a terrible book as a whole, but I was reminded of this: That second passage is solid evidence for why *men* shouldn't be allowed aboard spaceships to be honest 
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Jan 5, 2020 13:27
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I wrote a picture book about a dragon and a rabbit who were best friends. That's all I remember but I'm sure it was excellent.
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Jan 7, 2020 01:12
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I handed in a New Kids on the Block fanfic when I was 11 or so. Teacher was highly amused but let me get away with it.
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Jan 8, 2020 20:04
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Powerful Two-Hander posted:Well slap my groan I don't think I've ever seen that actually happen before! Good shout, Literally A Bird 
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Jan 14, 2020 20:40
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Screaming Idiot posted:Susan Calvin, a recurring character in Asimov's stories, shows hints of that future growth. She is shown to be stern and competent, but in true Asimov fashion, he always bumbled things with her. In the short story "Liar!", which I otherwise really like, she has an emotional breakdown that, while reasonable for the situation, is also incredibly badly described by Asimov's prose. There are other such events, including one where she becomes particularly (and uncharacteristically) motherly toward a malfunctioning robot who had earlier nearly killed someone, despite her every other appearance ending in her having a dangerous robot destroyed or otherwise decommissioned. There's a good character to be had there if you ignore all of Asimov's musing that she obviously cares so much about robots because she didn't have babies.
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Mar 2, 2020 02:31
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Dabir posted:...that being? Game of Thrones.
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Apr 26, 2020 22:08
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Brawnfire posted:I remember that book going insane for bit characters, like that bishop JV-J stole the candlesticks got this endless and tiresome section which I suppose was meant to expound upon his piety but coming off a musical where his scene is like two minutes during a cool song it seemed interminable. Yeah I love that book but my God he goes on. I see people complain about Dickens or Stephen King being meandering and I'm like, I know a worse guy.
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May 8, 2020 23:32
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RoboRodent posted:I can't tell if this is a joke or not. Nah there's a particular scene where Dany gets terrible diarrhoea as part of other stuff that's going on. It's gross but not much more gross than other things in those books, but it definitely sticks out in people's minds.
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Jul 12, 2020 22:17
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Tommyknockers is the only King book I could never get through. Though I've dropped out of reading his stuff lately, I think the last one I read was Doctor Sleep. He's got a lot better at writing women over the years.
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Nov 27, 2020 00:52
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3D Megadoodoo posted:He put a sex scene in the "detective novels except the last one where it's Aliens from the Internet" trilogy just because ?!?!?!? I didn't say he wasn't a weird writer in some ways, I just think he's better at writing women now. Though are those the Mr Mercedes books you're referring to? I've managed not to read them.
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Nov 27, 2020 01:04
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I am baffled as to how anyone takes away 'Jay Gatsby's behaviour is okay' from that story though. I mean it doesn't work out great for him.
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Jan 17, 2021 17:29
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lord funk posted:If there's one thing high school English class taught me, it's that each novel has one and only one correct interpretation, and you'll get points off if you don't know it. One time in an English class - I was about 13 or 14 I think - we were offered a snippet of a poem that goes: A violet by a mossy stone half-hidden from the eye Fair as a star, when only one is shining in the sky The teacher asked me which image I thought most beautiful and I chose the star, and she immediately asked three or four other people, who all agreed the violet was the prettier image and I was wrong. Apparently I'm still annoyed about that. Also it's Wordsworth I just discovered from google.
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Jan 17, 2021 17:43
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Darkhold posted:I started The Sandman series on Season of Mists and was blown away how it seemed like a fully realized universe with such a deep backstory that was only hinted at. I felt so stupid when I saw it was actually a solid 1/3 of the way into the series. So I went back....and found that it pretty much starts like that as well. I read Sandman according to which volumes showed up in my local library, so I actually started with The Kindly Ones. Honestly it still felt awesome slowly putting together the story as I read more and more of them.
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Jan 24, 2021 15:55
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Sobatchja Morda posted:
China Mieville is hot to a degree that startled me the first time I saw a pic of him. However even if I could, I would not sleep with him, because apparently he's a bastard. I think I could date someone who wrote awful fiction so long as they didn't require me to lie to them about it.
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Apr 1, 2021 03:32
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I paid actual money for the novelisation of Re-Animator and it's actually very good? I mean, for a novelisation.
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Apr 4, 2021 14:12
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Tunicate posted:The back to the future novelization is insane and north's takedown of it is great I ordered this book when I was 13 back when you had to go to actual bookstores and place an order and they imported it from the US for me. At GREAT COST (for baby me).
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Apr 4, 2021 17:37
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packetmantis posted:I can't tell if this is a joke or not. Nah, there is a novelisation of the movie that was an adaptation of some short stories. It adds some character background and a few events that aren't in the movie and generally rounds things out and it is not written horribly. I would not advise anyone else pay money for it but it's honestly not bad.
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Apr 5, 2021 03:26
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Groovelord Neato posted:There's a YouTube channel that goes over the differences between novels and their film adaptations and I always thought it'd be neat to do the same thing for films and their novelizations. Lost in Adaptation! I like that channel. It's fun times. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPtiXdv7RoU8IkrJeNY73qw
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Apr 5, 2021 15:53
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spite house posted:I remember the novelization of "Terminator 2" being surprisingly engaging, and it included the deleted scene with the learning-chip switch, without which the entire third act of the movie makes very little sense. The best thing about the Re-Animator novelisation is that it reveals that West is actually *Canadian*. No wonder he's so invested in reviving the dead, they're all necromancers up there.
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Apr 5, 2021 19:35
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Carnival of Shrews posted:This is a call-out to the original story. Oh that's right, I forgot about that little snippet. I remembered the wartime bit but forgot the Canada connection.
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Apr 5, 2021 23:22
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Jenny Nicholson had a video where she tackled terrible neocon book 'Trigger Warning' that might be worth a watch if you're in that mood.
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Aug 28, 2021 14:44
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DARE I DO
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Aug 28, 2021 14:49
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Brawnfire posted:Which one, I swear fifty books and movies came out "Triggered" or "Trigger Warning" or some poo poo By 'William W Johnstone' who I think might not actually be the author at this point, I forget, I'd have to watch the video again. e: found link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMgMr0JcYJ4
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Aug 28, 2021 16:35
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AngryRobotsInc posted:I will always stan for Ursula K. Le Guin when it comes to sci fi, as examples of some of the first feminist sci fi. Some of it has aged a bit awkwardly, but she didn't stay entrenched in her ideas on sex and gender, and you can see the change in them over time through her writing. Always Coming Home is my favourite book right now. Astonishing. James Tiptree Jr also wrote some impressive stuff though I've never fallen in love with one of her stories exactly. I liked Clarke when I was a kid and just learning about science fiction, particularly his short stories. He's lumped in with Asimov for me in 'short stories good, long stories dull' and 'turned out to be a sexmonster'.
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Sep 3, 2021 11:28
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