- Florida Betty
- Sep 24, 2004
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Another book that I read because it was recommended, and a award-winning classic: Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean M. Auel.
I admit, I did not finish the book. I dropped it after the underage heroine is repeatedly raped, complete with detailed descriptions and then she finds out she's pregnant, so the rape was all worthwhile, because now she's filled with joy and of course because rape is about power, and her joy has lifted her above fear, her rapist no longer wants to rape her.
I do not understand the chain of decisions that led to that book being published, let alone winning awards. Also, it goes on bizarre meanders into detailed identification of local flora and fauna. I mean, it's nice that the author did her research, and I DO love natural history, but I don't need to know about every single wildflower.
And you didn't even read the sequels. I'll summarize for you: Ayla goes off into the world on her own and invents everything now known to modern man (taming horses and inventing effective weapons and whatnot), and then finds a very attractive man who had never had pleasurable sex before because his penis was too gigantic for most women, but fortunately Ayla's apparently massive vagina was able to contain it. Naturally they are a perfect fit for each other. Then they wander around the world having lots of sex, which, if I recall correctly, involves a lot of licking each other's nipples in counter clockwise circles.
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Jul 6, 2015 10:40
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May 3, 2024 12:16
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- Florida Betty
- Sep 24, 2004
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I went through an alt-hist phase at one point, which is basically one giant goldmine of terrible books. The standout for me was Conquistador, about a guy coming back from WWII (or maybe Korea?) who discovers a portal into an alternate Earth. In the alternate Earth continuity Alexander the Great didn't party himself to death, allowing him to conquer and consolidate vast swathes of central Asia into a stable empire that persisted after his death, creating a Eurasian fusion culture that subsumed nascent European civilization. This prevented the Industrial Revolution from happening because industrialization was such a freak accident of whiteness coincidence that it never would have happened without Europe's unique, one-in-a-million combination of pure white racial traits circumstances and Alexander had diluted Europe's creative potential by mingling with lesser peoples proud and noble cultures that nonetheless just don't have what it takes to industrialize, ever, so they just spend 2300 years drinking tea and bowing and doing all kinds of weird mysterious foreigner things instead of inventing guns or mechanized power or crossing the oceans like proper civilized people. Of course, the Western Hemisphere of the other Earth is entirely pristine and untouched because none of the native American populations had made any technological progress whatsoever in the 500 years since Colombus failed to show up, either.
So it's basically a world inhabited entirely by idiot savages, letting the retired GI bring in his war buddies and recruit/kidnap some colonists to set up a racially pure idyllic agrarian feudal society on the other side, selling exotic animals and resources on regular Earth in order to fund their ventures. Of course they can't sully their pure white hands by menial labor, but don't want to bring across any racial undesirables, so they solve the labor gap by hiring natives for menial labor--at the low, low cost of voluntary sterilization, since whiteness cultural harmony must be maintained. Unfortunately, meddling government agents stumble across the Earth side of the operation and wind up shanghaied on the other side, just in time to help foil a coup by the founder's "atsa spicy-a meatball-a" mafioso accomplice. As a result of their service several minority characters are rewarded with civil rights, and everybody lives happily ever after!!
Ah, an S.M. Stirling. Now there's an author whose every book belongs in this thread. I tried to read Dies the Fire once. That's the one where electricity and all modern technology magically stop working, so all the Ren Faire nerds who like playing with swords take over the world.
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Jul 8, 2015 19:47
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Jul 6, 2015 10:40
