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Instead of singing the national anthem at the start of the match, make all the players recite Marxist theory.
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Jul 5, 2015 13:53
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Replace the whole sport with this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCe2-QrCeOs
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Jul 5, 2015 14:00
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Make all players play inside those giant inflatable balls that bounce into each other
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Jul 5, 2015 14:10
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chuggo is BACK posted:two goals and out first and in
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Jul 5, 2015 14:15
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the keeper should be able to pick up back passes but if he does it he has to take a tab of acid
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Jul 5, 2015 14:39
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Give retroactive yellow cards for simulation based on video evidence after the fact and retroactively give players red cards if they get two in a match. Then make the teams replay the game from when the first player would have been sent off, with other players leaving the match when their time comes.
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Jul 5, 2015 14:43
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make the best looking players kiss haha just kidding it would be funny
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Jul 5, 2015 14:44
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chuggo is BACK posted:make the best looking players kiss haha just kidding it would be funny Hahah yes this would be hilarious but completely inappropriate for the sporting arena but just for the sake of this thought experiment, how long would they be made to kiss for and how do you enforce tongue action
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Jul 5, 2015 15:19
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Kwagga posted:Hahah yes this would be hilarious but completely inappropriate for the sporting arena but just for the sake of this thought experiment, how long would they be made to kiss for and how do you enforce tongue action mouth-line technology
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Jul 5, 2015 15:23
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Twat le Piss posted:definitely yes, random oscillating goalposts; whoop where is it Whoop there it is
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Jul 5, 2015 16:10
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Goals start every match twice as big as they are now and every time a goal is scored they get smaller.
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Jul 5, 2015 16:12
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1. Every player has to have a beer in hand. 2. You can legally play the ball with your beer hand, but you must drink from the beer afterwards. 3. If your team is scored on, finish your beer and get another one. 4. If you drop your beer, you need to pick it up and take a drink before you may play the ball. 5. One handed throw ins are allowed (because you have to hold your beer). 6. Borderline calls are decides by a chug-off, each player may select a designated chugger. 7. Each team gets one player who may use a dodge/kickball to throw at players and attempt to knock the beer from their hands. This player is called the Frimponger, because if you don't stay dench, well, you'll get Frimponged. 8. All matches end on PKs and each taker needs to chug a beer and do a few spins first.
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Jul 5, 2015 16:33
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Enforce all teams to have at least 3 women in them and a woman must score otherwise both teams lose 5 points. Also, all matches must be played under the ocean and the winning team's town is allowed to raid the other the losing team's town like they did a thousand years ago when football was invented.
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Jul 5, 2015 16:40
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Ok no more monkey cheese ideas please all
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Jul 5, 2015 16:42
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I would like my beloved Middlesbrough fc to play in the premier league
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Jul 5, 2015 16:46
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vyelkin posted:I'm all for improving the game if there's a reasonable suggestion, but giving a penalty for the other team not having a shot on target every few minutes is a really, really bad idea. Since penalties are a virtually guaranteed goal, this would likely lead to at least some teams parking eleven men behind the ball, defending like their lives depended on it, and giving the ball back to the other team if they somehow won it, just because if they can block every shot for five minutes they get a free goal. Mourinho would win every game 10-0 with 0% possession. Why bother attacking when if you defend long enough you get handed a golden scoring opportunity? Well after they scored the penalty, they would have the shot clock running against them. Teams will realise it'll make sense to counter-attack whenever the other team has the clock ticking against them. As for parking eleven men behind the ball, maybe also make it a rule that a defender touching the ball in his own 6-yard box counts as a shot on goal for te other team.
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Jul 5, 2015 16:54
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mackintosh posted:death penalty for scoreless draws How about a 2-0 forfeit for fielding an ineligible player? 
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Jul 5, 2015 17:00
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Bape Culture posted:I would like my beloved Middlesbrough fc to play in the premier league African AIDS cum posted:Ok no more monkey cheese ideas please all
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Jul 5, 2015 17:06
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A European Premier League with relegation to the national leagues.
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Jul 5, 2015 17:12
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I'd like to see tighter rules for what national team you can play for to stop cunts like Diego Costa
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Jul 5, 2015 17:42
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Real and Barca to be forced to share a tv deal with the clubs they pretend to be competing against in their domestic "league".
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Jul 5, 2015 17:42
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make blatter president forever
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Jul 5, 2015 17:51
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play the benny hill theme whenever a barcelona player falls down and starts rolling on the floor
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Jul 5, 2015 17:53
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advanced statsman posted:make blatter president forever this
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Jul 5, 2015 17:55
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Blue Star Error posted:I'd like to see tighter rules for what national team you can play for to stop cunts like Diego Costa Generally I agree but Costa joined the Spain team who got humiliated at the world cup
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Jul 5, 2015 18:02
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Jose posted:Generally I agree but Costa joined the Spain team who got humiliated at the world cup Thank god that saved him from being in the Brazil team that got humiliated at the World Cup.
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Jul 5, 2015 18:04
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Shrapnig posted:Thank god that saved him from being in the Brazil team that got humiliated at the World Cup. i too would rather get knocked out in the group stage after being humiliated rather than the semi final
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Jul 5, 2015 18:14
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Blue Star Error posted:I'd like to see tighter rules for what national team you can play for to stop cunts like Diego Costa It used to be that if you represented a country at any level you had to stick with it. At the very least I think you shouldn't represent a country in an age bracket you've already represented another country at.
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Jul 5, 2015 18:21
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If you don't speak your native language with the accent of that country you shouldn't be allowed to play for them Owen Hargreaves should have been forced to single handedly drag Canada to relevance from defensive midfield Monday Bandele fucked around with this message at 18:26 on Jul 5, 2015 |
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Jul 5, 2015 18:24
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Monday Bandele posted:If you don't speak your native language with the accent of that country you shouldn't be allowed to play for them RIP Cassano and Carragher.
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Jul 5, 2015 18:26
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Gigi Galli posted:RIP Cassano and Carragher. Lol
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Jul 5, 2015 18:39
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Monday Bandele posted:If you don't speak your native language with the accent of that country you shouldn't be allowed to play for them Mick McCarthy...
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Jul 5, 2015 19:05
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Cascarino, Lawrinson, Houghton, Townsend, Aldridge, Dunne... E: More to the point, how many of the Ireland team speak their native language?
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Jul 5, 2015 19:13
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Benny Harvey posted:Cascarino, Lawrinson, Houghton, Townsend, Aldridge, Dunne... Their native language is English. So none of them properly
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Jul 5, 2015 19:15
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Blue Star Error posted:Their native language is English. So none of them properly Most of the Englnd team would be hosed too.
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Jul 5, 2015 19:16
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Allow throw-ins to be kick-ins. Can't score directly but you can float it in. Reckon we'll see more goal action this way, and also pressures players to keep the ball in. If they really wanted to see more goals a la lovely American sports they could just make the goal bigger. I defo think we should make keepers do more though.
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Jul 5, 2015 22:39
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pestilence violence blood purity
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Jul 5, 2015 22:49
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Vegetable posted:Allow throw-ins to be kick-ins. Can't score directly but you can float it in. Reckon we'll see more goal action this way, and also pressures players to keep the ball in. This is legitimately something I would like to see but only because Liverpool (and tbf most teams) are utterly poo poo at throw ins.
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Jul 5, 2015 22:58
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Monday Bandele posted:If you don't speak your native language with the accent of that country you shouldn't be allowed to play for them Actually he would have help from Jonathan de Guzman and Asmir Begovic so
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Jul 5, 2015 23:34
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Vegetable posted:Allow throw-ins to be kick-ins. Can't score directly but you can float it in. Reckon we'll see more goal action this way, and also pressures players to keep the ball in. Thus actually sounds really cool.
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Jul 5, 2015 23:43
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