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 DRUMROLL  Welcome everyone to the 2015/16 Scottish Professional Football League thread. Woo. Last season BisonDollah made the thread and said quote:We spent ages trying to come up with loads of innovative ideas to implement but decided to just go with a name-change and a slightly altered last season's OP experience (original words by duckmaster). I have just realised this was a pun. Right first things first, we ACTUALLY HAVE A SPONSOR! Ladbrokes have decided they've got too much money swilling around and have thrown £4million at us! That's the entire setup though, not just our league, so presumably they just want the rights to exciting first division ("Ladbrokes Championship") games like Hibs vs QOS. Still, at least we're not the Scottish Professional Football League Sponsored By Nobody anymore. Anyway, here are some defining moments of the last year of Scottish football:  Celtics goal scorer of the season  The points failure at Motherwell  Professional athlete Scott Brown  Some Rangers fans on their way to the first Old Firm game in three years Now on with the football! If you're a bit mad and you want to get into Scottish football, and you should because it's definitely the best football, you can check out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=?user?splofficial The SPFLs official youtube channel! Featuring surprisingly well made videos of highlights, goals of the month, interviews etc, it's definitely far too good for this league. Expect it to be doing the English Championships videos by Christmas before a loan spell at League 2 and then coming back to Kilmarnock with its tail between its legs in three years. http://spfl.co.uk/ The official SPFL site. Pretty sure it was made with WordPress, although that's fine because you can't trust our idiots with PHP. Only football clubs. https://twitter.com/spfl The official SPFL twitter, which is a bit too modern for us. Like safe standing and songs which don't refer to religious events four hundred years ago. Of course you're already one step ahead of everyone else who wants to get into Scottish Football because you've found your way to arguably the best thread on the internet! Or you're already into it and you just like the idea of a thread that goes idle for two weeks before erupting into pointless bickering and some slightly offensive jibes about Coohoolin and Young Boys. As has become tradition, let's look at the teams: Aberdeen  Who? Aberdeen are the greatest team ever, have won as many European trophies as everyone else combined two and will be winning lots of trophies again this year. Well, one. We're hopefully getting rid of Goodwillie, the rapist I didn't want, two years after I said I didn't want him. FUN FACT Aberdeen FC invented the turnstile! The first fan to use it said "There's £20, two please" and the guy said "defenders or midfielders?" Celtic  Who? Probably some sort of money laundering operation, Celtic have been a shining beacon of hope for inpoverished school children in Glasgow/Dundee/Ireland for decades. FUN FACT Celtic once beat Rangers 7-1 in a Scottish Cup final which is a British record for a domestic cup final and quite the gently caress up for the Masonic Lodges Referees Club. Heart of Midlothian  Who? Heart of Midlothian play in Edinburgh, which apparently is the heart of Midlothian. Literally the middle of Midlothian. The middle of middle Lothian. FUN FACT Hearts are owned by the Foundation of Hearts. Rumours that the Foundation of Tynecastle is owned by Tesco remain disputed. Dundee United  Who? The Second Most Famous Team In Dundee, their nickname is the "Jutes" which refers to a brief period in the 1800s when they controlled the global hemp trade, a major natural resource at the time. Another nickname is the "Arabs" because they used to put sand on their pitch to dry it out. This team is ISIS. FUN FACT There are 80 steps between Dundee Utds stadium and Dundees stadium, although if you get caught counting them you'll probably lose your disability benefits. Hamilton  Who? This is Russ's team and Russ is a good poster and Hamilton are a pretty harmless team so there's not much bad to say about them. Except that they're shite, obviously. FUN FACT  Inverness Caledonian Thistle  Who? Famous for a monster. FUN FACT That famous headline was actually done years before by the Liverpool Echo when a player called Ian Callaghan almost single handedly destroyed Queens Park Rangers, leading to SUPER CALLEY GOES BALLISTIC QPR ATROCIOUS. That's all you had and I took it away from you, hahahaha. Kilmarnock  Who? Kilmarnock FC were founded by a group of cricketers - a slow, pointless game - who originally played rugby - a game involving random bouts of violence. Quickly, they combined the two. FUN FACT SQUIRRELS ON THE CREST! Motherwell  Who? Motherwells most succesful period was in the early 1930s, after the world had been ravaged by the First World War and the Spanish Flu. This was just before the Great Depression and the rise of National Socialism, which was surely just a coincidence. FUN FACT Something about steel? Christ, I don't know. Partick Thistle  Who? Glasgows second best team, after Greenock Morton. FUN FACT They actually play in Maryhill, not Partick, which is next door. It's like Chelsea playing in Fulham except the army don't send their medics to Fulham to get experience treating bullet wounds. Ross County  Who? A tiny little club from north of Inverness. Should be insignificant. Suprisingly good. FUN FACT 1992 cult classic movie 'The Thing' was shot on location in Ross County. St Johnstone  Who? They're from Perth. Hardly anyone knows that for some reason. Even their website is called https://www.perthstjohnstonefc.co.uk which is quite lol. FUN FACT They're from Perth, a quite harmless city. Harmless meaning boring. Dundee  Who? I was hoping to end this on a high but I'm ending with Dundee. FUN FACT Their stadium is owned by a guy on the Dundee Utd board  Well, that's that. Since we're all probably just the same posters as usual let's begin the bickering! duckmaster fucked around with this message at 14:27 on Jul 9, 2015 |
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Jul 8, 2015 17:47
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Russ posted:Was ready to post a really funny comment about how this season would be my last opportunity to post in these threads for a few years but then I noticed it's now an SPFL thread which covers all four of the top leagues so trap sprung bitches I'll keep posting about poo poo no one cares about forever. This is the SPFL Ladbrokes Premiership thread, you'll be looking for the SPFL Ladbrokes Championship thread next year Professor Nerdocopter
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Jul 8, 2015 22:41
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something something biting the hand that feeds you something something that's all i've got
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Jul 9, 2015 14:19
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Provided we finish the job we're playing FC Kairat in Almaty, Kazahstan. 100 miles from China and further east than Mumbai. Madness.
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Jul 18, 2015 15:50
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Coohoolin posted:Aberdeen paid £200k for a chartered flight to Kazakhstan. The reward money for this round is £160k. Plus 12k+ tickets for the home leg at approx £25 each nets £300k so I'd say it's worth it? And they sold tickets to fans corn he plans to offset it a bit didn't they??
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Jul 30, 2015 11:56
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Coohoolin posted:That's good and all but we could still do with some regionalization in the early stages. We were seeded in the first round then not seeded in the second round. But because we beat the seed in that round we are now seeded for this one, which is why we've got a relatively weak opponent. If this was regionalised we almost certainly wouldn't have been seeded and today could be playing someone else. There's some big guns in this round: FC Copenhagen, West Ham, Athletic Bilbao, Borussia Dortmund, Bordeaux, Standard Liege, Legia Warsaw, Sampdoria, Southampton. I wouldn't be particularly surprised to see any of them in the group stages and would rather not be playing them today, especially since we'll probably be playing one of them in the next round as well. It's luck of the draw and we drew the short straw but in terms of actually getting through the round this is the best chance possible. Besides, did the club need a 100 seat charter plane? You need a squad of 18, manager, couple of coaches, physio, doctor, kitman? Plus a few more hangers on, so about 30? I'm positive you could fly from Aberdeen to Almaty and back for £1k each with a commercial airliner. It's like those diddy Irish/Welsh teams who enter the 1st round of Champions League qualifiers, I guarantee they fly with RyanAir.
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Jul 30, 2015 15:40
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Well I've clearly jinxed it 
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Jul 30, 2015 16:37
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Celtic need all the clever, quick thinking players they can get to ensure they don't drop points against Kilmarnock.
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Aug 14, 2015 18:09
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Blue Star Error posted:Good to see Big Carlton Morris leading his Hamiltons to glory against those Dundee United twats lol you must be new here, we don't actually talk about football matches
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Aug 15, 2015 20:25
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https://www.facebook.com/stjohnstonefootballclub/posts/957301990959449?fref=nf I love how by calling it "a football" rather than "the ball" they haven't actually confirmed this happened at a football match.
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Aug 22, 2015 21:19
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biglads posted:Before the match I asked some friends what they thought would happen. Both Big Tam and Big Dougie thought that Malmo would win through whilst Wee Davie was hopeful for the Celts. Of course, we can see now that the Big Jocks Knew all along. I have been getting so much mileage out of this joke, thanks for that
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Aug 28, 2015 16:47
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Gigi Galli posted:I read that Rangers are the only team to win every pro division in Scotland. Pretty cool. Dumbarton Top flight in 1891/2. Second flight in 1910/11 and 1971/2. Third flight in 1991/2. Fourth flight in 2008/9. Well done for equaling their record today though
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Apr 6, 2016 04:04
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Your Boy Fancy posted:This seems like such a non-issue but I'm coming at it as an American, we rush fields and courts in college on the regular and it's kind of awesome and nobody gets hurt quote:After the San Francisco Giants defeated the Kansas City Royals in the 2014 World Series, Giants fans set fires, vandalized buses and police cars, shattered windows of businesses, scrawled graffiti, and threw bottles at police. Two people were shot, one person was stabbed, and a police officer was badly hurt from fireworks exploding. 40 arrests were made quote:Two people were shot This was over a baseball game that they won.
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May 25, 2016 00:29
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BisonDollah posted:Can't wait for this season, so many interesting questions. Can this years epic Scottish fitba battles inspire a 16 pager like last season? Will Alex Neil do okay in the English Premiership with Norwich? When will we be able to stand at games and be bored and wet? Will Ronny Deila ever stop signing Dundee United players & then sending selfies with them asleep on his lap to a suicidal Jackie McNamara? Will Hibs ever stop being poo poo? Just want to point out that this thread, like last seasons, was also a 16 pager.
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Jun 10, 2016 01:07
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