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that the whole time this was a metaphor for the economy. You just came up with that yourself? Or maybe do you know something you aren't telling us...? |
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Jul 23, 2015 01:13
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[Staring at the prisoner but you can tell I see him as a human and try my best to treat him as such.] You're a poo poo man. A crap evil dude. You probably killed this lady [taps her photo] She's dead. We're sure of that this time. She's dead and you probably did it. You're going to jail for the maximum sentence I hope!
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Jul 23, 2015 01:15
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Watson: Good lord Sherlock Holmes! It seems the murderer made the call from inside the interrogation room. Sherlock: If only the interrogator was a killer. I could tell by the way she walked and her smallish purse that wasn't quite a handbag that she could never kill. The case would be so simple, if only I weren't so smart.
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Jul 23, 2015 01:17
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The prisoner's real dilemma is how to give me that cute little valentines card I just know he's been concealing all day.
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Jul 23, 2015 01:18
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[Smashing my hand down on the thin steel table] Look man! GIve me something to work with! I know you used those forums every day for months on end!
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Jul 23, 2015 01:20
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Uhh, I mean, do you use these forums, as has been alleged against you? I've never heard of them before in my life, let alone used them.
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Jul 23, 2015 01:21
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[To the mirror] Turn off the tape and the cameras. This is off the record. [To the prisoner, getting my face all up close to his. He can smell my coffee breath and he's visibly uncomfortable] So... What did you rate the Fluffie Duckie Newbie Av Shoppe... If it was a five... Well maybe we can work something out.
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Jul 23, 2015 01:23
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Look motherfucker we don't play games here. This is the minor leagues, but it's still a league. I'm gonna get you the full six hours if it kills me.
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Jul 23, 2015 01:27
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Sometimes I have a weird dream where I'm actually the one being interrogated. [Smash cut dream sequence] Did you do it? Did you eat Shawna's tuna sandwich from the work fridge? Her name wasn't on it but you knew it was hers. Did you eat the sandwich? Did you?
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Jul 23, 2015 01:30
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[Walking around the prisoner like a shark] You might wonder why I've dressed like this today. Well Mike's son is having a party later and I owe'd him a favor.
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Jul 23, 2015 01:33
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Oh? You say you we're just being BYOB? Weeds actually a felony and it isn't even BYOB anymore anyway. You're going away for sure.
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Jul 23, 2015 01:36
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[Kicking over the chair] NO. THAT CAN'T BE TRUE. SOUP? FOR BREAKFAST??
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Jul 23, 2015 01:56
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bacalou posted:[shakes head as bad cop partner walks into the interrogation room] watch it johnson... he can't teleport, but for all we know, he could still telestarboard Lmfao
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Jul 23, 2015 02:04
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[Badass robo-suit bank robber magnetized to wall] Here's the deal Francois... That suit it worth more than every bank you've hit put together. What's the real motive? [Francois's mask slowly opens, revealing another mask - the Guy Fawkes mask] Ok someone take that off him. Then run him through facial recognition. We have him dead to rights without worrying about motive.
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Jul 23, 2015 02:06
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[Sighing after interrogating supervillains all day] The next time one of these jokers says they did it because they wanted to see the world burn I'm putting icy-hot in their standard prison issue underwear.
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Jul 23, 2015 02:08
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[Ignorant cop who accidentally arrested jesus] You're gonna be in jail to the end of days bud. [Jesus sadly nods]
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Jul 23, 2015 02:15
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How about I ask you question you don't have some well planned answer for for a change, hmm? Can God, in his omnipotence, make a rock so big he can't lift it?
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Jul 23, 2015 02:20
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Lol
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Jul 23, 2015 03:12
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Lol
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Jul 23, 2015 03:56
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joke_explainer posted:Alright buddy you asked for it. Bringing in my guest interrogator, Jeffrey. He's obsessed with hashtag gamergate. Have fun. [Sternly] Look Son, I know your Dad may have been killed by this madman... But there's lines you don't cross. Weird twitter is a better match for this perp anyway.
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Jul 23, 2015 03:58
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@Inter-o-gator posted:Confess lest [Sudden dubstep takes over the room] I crank up this dance party! Dancing so bad it'll make you confess. Watch these moves. [Trips, falls.]
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Jul 23, 2015 04:00
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joke_explainer posted:U guilty? who cares man. Got new RV w/ chem toilet and rdy for adventure. #safewayparkinglot #urcomingwithme [Carting large blue drum from the evidence locker] Just dusting for prints chief. #EpicJobQuits
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Jul 23, 2015 04:06
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[Sexually deviant prisoner leans back in his chair, a small smile crosses his face] Hey... Sup Lieutenant.
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Jul 24, 2015 01:21
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Lmao
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Jul 24, 2015 01:43
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Bow...Bow chika.
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Jul 24, 2015 01:43
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Ferris Bueller's Day In [Subtitle] San Quentin.
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Jul 24, 2015 01:47
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bog pixie posted:(second interrogator comes up) ah, there is a clown though. as i was saying earlier....ppgffff....ahem. there's a definite clown back there.
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Jul 24, 2015 12:51
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| # ¿ May 19, 2024 16:30 |
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joke_explainer posted:i thought the inversion of expectations that its kid rock interrogating him (who is notorious for his intolerably bad music) would have been funny, but I was wrong. i'm sorry. drat. I laughed actually.
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Jul 24, 2015 22:13
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