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FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

School my jabroni rear end on high bar vs low bar squat

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FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

How do I foam roll my traps

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

Looks like you put your head under it



But for real that is pretty impressive

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

Get better shoes

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

Cobra Commander posted:

There's a fit women thread???


jm20 posted:

this, post link



creep on, bros

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3715427

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

Is something happening this week? All of these bros showed up at my gym, the kind who wear tank tops with deep arm holes so you can see their side boob. This one guy has arms that are bigger than my legs, but then my arms are also bigger than his legs.

The 3:00 hour used to be all mine, a free gym to myself. Now its bro central. Huge change out of nowhere.

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

my bulk is going well, up to making GBS threads 3x a day

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

Do you think the other guys know I lift? Do you think they think I'm big?

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

gently caress everyone who supersets across multiple pieces of equipment

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

I enjoy dying. The swole angel of death.

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cC2QLorSKss

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

ElGroucho posted:

How do I disguise my horrible wobbly legs 2 days after leg day? People are starting to suspect that I may not actually be a polio victim

Why are you limiting yourself to only a single leg day

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

you should probably switch it around from deadlift and squat on the same day to squat and deadlift on the same day.

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

Strenuous Manflurry posted:

I'm curious - does everyone here follow a lifting plan, and if so, what one? Anyone else develop their own plan?

Here is my stupid plan that I made up based on factless assumptions I created


Day 1 - Chest/Tricep
10 minute warmup on elliptical, break a sweat
Bench Press (or DB press, or some kind of other major compound lift if you cant get to the bench because some bro in a graphic tank is still doing the 300 workout)
Incline DB Press (or Incline Bench whatever is free, I haven;t got time to work in)
Fly Machine or DB Flies
Overhead barbell tricep extension or skull crushers
Tricep rope pushdown
Optional I'm feeling good option - Dumbbell pullover
Dips til you quits

Day 2 - All of the back
10 minute warmup on elliptical, break a sweat
Deadlift (or if your shins are bleeding from last week's bad form, bent over row and leg press or front squat)
Seated cable row
Lat pulldown
Isolateral plate loaded row
Barbell curls
Alternating DB curls

Day 3 - Shoulders/tricep
10 minute warmup on elliptical, break a sweat
Overhead barbell press
Arnold DB press
Lateral DB raises
Front plate raises
Optional i'm feeling good option - shoulder press machine
Tricep rope pushdown
Dips

Day 4 - gently caress
Back squat (warm up here as well)
Barbell step up
Cable crunch
Straight leg vertical leg raises
DB lunge
Optional I can still feel my back option - hyperextensions
Preacher curls forever

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

Strenuous Manflurry posted:

Factless assumptions are what this thread is all about. Do you feel like you're hitting tris/bis enough with this plan? I make them their own day, but I go 5 days.


I probably never hit them at max power because I start off with heavy compound lifts and work my way down. I don't know if they're burnt out from being an accessory, but probably because I'm like "yeah, 30 lbs pushdown, hwahaahh"

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

Sweet bro, do quarter leg presses with 16 plates, no one else wants to lift

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

thats cool that youre both lactose intolerant and buy lovely protein

just consume raw eggs like a man

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

why would you ever use anything less than a 45 lb plate

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

just did two lines of pre-workout

can't tell if it's blood or fruit punch running down my nose

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

Phase One - Dirty Bulk - Complete
8 weeks
Gained 9 lbs
All lifts restored to historical maxes, though now I can do them all at the same time

Phase Two - Rest (passive bulk)
Going away for work and the holidays for two weeks, will do little to nothing, but try to generally stay loose

Phase Three - Clean(er) Bulk
To begin in January, substitute good carbs for bad carbs

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

Strenuous Manflurry posted:

No no no preworkout is good just buy the particulars and make your own.

I got free ON pre-workout on a black Friday sale with 5 lbs of protein for $45


Free is good

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

Good. You can start by sweeping the floor. 

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

notZaar posted:

When you can double clean 310 lbs like that, you can pretty much do whatever you want.

Can't buy skinny jeans

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

Two weeks of no lifting, tendonitis still exists. Just going to live with this until I can get some NFL quality HGH.

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

bruised my throat doing front squats am i doing this right

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

Scale just said 222. Uhhhhh, time to start eating clean.



edit- took a piss and took my clothes off, got it down to 220. thank god.

FogHelmut fucked around with this message at 23:46 on Dec 30, 2015

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

Terrifying vascularity

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

lol if you cant swallow a literal handful of pills all at once

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

Some weirdo european guy hit on my wife at the gym while she was deadlifting. Please recommend some alpha ways to respond.

Some ideas -
- gather all of the 45's in the whole gym and hoard them at the leg press
- build a tower out of the box jump boxes and sit atop it in a gargoyle position
- offer this guy a spot on bench while standing with my balls in his face
- spot my wife on squat, getting all up in there with my hands on her boobs, looking around and scowling at everyone

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

tbh she said the guy was twink as hell, so the fact that she was deadlifting more than his bodyweight is alpha enough imo

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pS80W2ULWn8

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

El Duderino posted:

How you get your dick game on that man's level, kegels?

cock pushup

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fJkcsOkRb0

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzLo0ywfazA

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

Pesmerga posted:

Day one of a two week doctor imposed break from weights. This sucks. Should I eat below maintenance to turn it into a two week cut, or is that a bad idea if I'm not lifting.

Not sure how I'll manage not lifting for two weeks :negative:

keep the protein up and cut calories elsewhere

my bulk was getting too intense, I dropped 10 lbs in the last 3 weeks just going back to eating like a normal person.

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

Gaz2k21 posted:

I wish I had that ability I've been eating at 1500 calories a day for 2 weeks and haven't dropped a pound, this losing weight poo poo is hard

It's not really an ability its like being huge is really hard, your body rejects it, eating is half the battle.

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

Scoop of protein, scoop of psyllium husk. Rinse, repeat.

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FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

Been bitching at my wife because she's been paying for a trainer. She just did an rear end to grass squat with perfect form and no weight to push her in to the correct posture. Whatever bitch, tell me when you do 3 plates. Look at my superior hip flexibility!

*tries to do 3rd world squat*
*falls on rear end*
*is the bitch*

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