Auspol August - A Colossal Fuckup - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Auspol August - A Colossal Fuckup

Synthbuttrange: May 6, 2007

quote:

Dutton plays down fresh doubts on Cambodia deal

Peter Dutton says comments Cambodia does not want to settle any more refugees are from a low-level official, and he expects the deal to be honoured.

FUKKEN LOW LEVEL NOOBS RUINING THINGS

# ? Aug 31, 2015 05:24

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# ? May 10, 2024 14:21

fiery_valkyrie: Mar 26, 2003; I'm proud of you, Bender. Sure, you lost. You lost bad. But the important thing is I beat up someone who hurt my feelings in high school.

SynthOrange posted:

FUKKEN LOW LEVEL NOOBS RUINING THINGS

It's like at my company, whenever something goes wrong it wasn't the fault of the manager or the assistant manager, it is always "the casual did it".

# ? Aug 31, 2015 05:26

Goffer: Apr 4, 2007; "..."

"We now have a written copy of the decision. It is 67 pages long." - Guardian Live blog about Heydon

That's a lot of writing to dismiss some fairly simple allegations

# ? Aug 31, 2015 05:29

Cartoon: Jun 20, 2008; poop

The Dutton saga in Cambodia is becoming comedy gold.

http://www.smh.com.au/world/plan-to-resettle-refugees-in-cambodia-collapses-20150830-gjavdv.html

quote:

Australia's $55 million operation to resettle hundreds of refugees from the tiny Pacific island of Nauru to Cambodia appears to have collapsed in a diplomatic embarrassment for the Abbott Government.
A senior Cambodian official says the impoverished nation has no plans to receive any more than four refugees who arrived in Phnom Penh in June, and indicated it did not want any.
"We don't have any plans to import more refugees from Nauru to Cambodia," Interior Ministry spokesman Khieu Sopheak told the Cambodia Daily.

The rest of the article is worth a read too.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 05:33

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008; Can't post for 3 hours!

There is no reason to think
that the fair-minded observer might apprehend that my intention in agreeing to
give the address was to raise funds or assist in raising funds or gathering support
for the Liberal Party. Accordingly, there is no rational basis to conclude that
a fair-minded observer might apprehend any predisposition on my part against
the Labor Party.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 05:35

Cartoon: Jun 20, 2008; poop

Better yet:

quote:

From Dyson Heyson, "there is evidence that I have no computer" & "I am incapable of sending or receiving emails" #turc

# ? Aug 31, 2015 05:36

Nam Taf: Jun 25, 2005; I am Fat Man, hear me roar!

Cartoon posted:

Better yet:

How the gently caress can you be so incompetent?

# ? Aug 31, 2015 05:37

tithin: Nov 14, 2003; [Grandmaster Tactician]

Nam Taf posted:

How the gently caress can you be so incompetent?

"I'm a lawyer, not a .. computer user. This modern world is too difficult for me to deal with"

# ? Aug 31, 2015 05:42

Halo14: Sep 11, 2001

# ? Aug 31, 2015 05:43

Tokamak: Dec 22, 2004

oTHi posted:

How on earth can the government justify selecting the tender which is significantly more expensive? Isn't that literally the whole point of the tendering process? Not only is Transfield unspeakably awful, everything about the process is corrupt, apparently.

No, because the tendering process isn't purely about saving money. The government says 'we want these outcomes', and it it up to private enterprise to come up with a proposal that best meets the outcomes. If the government dictates how to solve a problem, then there is no room for a business to come up with an 'innovative' solution that is even better then what the government is requesting.

The best solution isn't necessarily the cheapest. However if there are a bunch of equally good solutions, then money could be the determining factor. In this case I'd imagine that Transfield meets one of their outcomes better then the rest and that the government is willing to pay a premium for it. For example, if Transfield had a better plan for maintaining operational security.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 05:45

hooman: Oct 11, 2007; This guy seems legit.; Fun Shoe

We will not spare a single dime on our refugee torture program during this budget emergency. gently caress those dole bludgers though.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 05:47

tithin: Nov 14, 2003; [Grandmaster Tactician]

Tokamak posted:

No, because the tendering process isn't purely about saving money. The government says 'we want these outcomes', and it it up to private enterprise to come up with a proposal that best meets the outcomes. If the government dictates how to solve a problem, then there is no room for a business to come up with an 'innovative' solution that is even better then what the government is requesting.

The best solution isn't necessarily the cheapest. However if there are a bunch of equally good solutions, then money could be the determining factor. In this case I'd imagine that Transfield meets one of their outcomes better then the rest and that the government is willing to pay a premium for it. For example, if Transfield had a better plan for maintaining operational security.

"in order to meet our war crimes quota, we're proposing getting rid of any charities and murdering anyone critical to our enterprise, and by extension, your enterprise. "

# ? Aug 31, 2015 05:47

hooman: Oct 11, 2007; This guy seems legit.; Fun Shoe

tithin posted:

"in order to meet our war crimes quota, we're proposing getting rid of any charities and murdering anyone critical to our enterprise, and by extension, your enterprise. "

Look sometimes you have to break a few crimes against humanity to make an omelette.

EDIT: A bad offshore torture contractor is a bit like a bad father or a bad boss.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 05:51

Solemn Sloth: Jul 11, 2015; Baby you can shout at me,
But you can't need my eyes.

Dutton's excuse for operation border farce: Yes, my office got the e-mail, but no-one read them.

Heydon's excuse for not reading an e-mail: I don't even have a computer

no wonder the Libs don't think of the NBN as a priority.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 06:08

Lascivious Sloth: Apr 26, 2008; by sebmojo

hehehe "The media adviser for immigration minister Peter Dutton replied �thanks for letting me know� the second time his office was sent a press release from Australian Border Force that appeared to threaten random visa checks and forced the cancellation of a Victorian police operation at the weekend."

# ? Aug 31, 2015 06:12

Solemn Sloth: Jul 11, 2015; Baby you can shout at me,
But you can't need my eyes.

Lascivious Sloth posted:

hehehe "The media adviser for immigration minister Peter Dutton replied �thanks for letting me know� the second time his office was sent a press release from Australian Border Force that appeared to threaten random visa checks and forced the cancellation of a Victorian police operation at the weekend."

hahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhah :allears:

# ? Aug 31, 2015 06:12

open24hours: Jan 7, 2001

They're more committed to the NBN than Labor, that's why they're spending so much more money on it.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 06:13

Solemn Sloth: Jul 11, 2015; Baby you can shout at me,
But you can't need my eyes.

A towering intellect posted:

Without even having to read the reasons ... I would be very confident that his espousal of the appropriate legal principles and his application of those principles to the facts of this case will be a very strong one

# ? Aug 31, 2015 06:16

Negligent: Aug 20, 2013; Its just lovely here this time of year.

I don't have a computer, that's what my PA is for.

Heydon is hard person to defend.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 06:22

Goffer: Apr 4, 2007; "..."

Negligent posted:

I don't have a computer, that's what my PA is for.

Heydon is hard person to defend.

what the gently caress did he write the 67 pages of response on? Did he just dictate it all?

# ? Aug 31, 2015 06:26

open24hours: Jan 7, 2001

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VgwxKW0J6I

# ? Aug 31, 2015 06:27

GoldStandardConure: Jun 11, 2010; I have to kill fast
and mayflies too slow; Pillbug

Goffer posted:

what the gently caress did he write the 67 pages of response on? Did he just dictate it all?

Typewriter?

# ? Aug 31, 2015 06:38

SMILLENNIALSMILLEN: Jun 26, 2009

QUACKTASTIC posted:

Australia's treatment of asylum seekers was bound to lead to something like Border Force
Richard Flanagan

It was news to me, as I suspect it was to many Australians on Friday, that there had been created in our country a paramilitary force that seemed not answerable to the legal limits and public expectations of our police and military forces, but only, and directly, to politicians – those same politicians who of late seem to have little respect for the rule of law, the truth, or the necessary independence of the judiciary.

Known as the Australian Border Force, this goon squad – formerly public servants, lately militarised at considerable taxpayer expense, given guns, the power to detain people, vaguely fascistic uniforms and a mandate that seems to not recognise the laws of their own country – were, we now told, mounting a large operation on Melbourne CBD streets, “speaking with any individual we cross paths with”.

As is so often the case with the Abbott government, this comic event felt like Vladimir Putin meets Rob Sitch’s Utopia; something sinister undone by a reliable stupidity, perhaps our last national virtue. The hallmark bullying swagger of this government’s was matched in this instance by a grovelling backdown as the illegality of the proposed actions become clear and public condemnation overwhelming, and the arse-saving swung into full gear.

Peter Dutton, the minister responsible, seemed, understandably, not to want to take any responsibility, until his office finally came out and said they had been sent the press release announcing the operation two days prior to the operation – but no one had read it. Really? Oh no, it later emerged; they saw it twice, and once at a high, but not ministerial level. Really?

No denial was made though about knowledge of the operation, which is only to be expected given Border Force’s commander reports directly to the minister. The former independent MP Tony Windsor wondered if the minister might not have been gazumped by the prime minister with his craziest captain’s call to date, at which point Captain Ahab himself staggered out on to the sinking bridge of his government to deny all knowledge of the event.

The prime minister blamed it on bad wording and went on to criticise anyone criticising decent public servants doing their job. Which begged other questions: if it was just bad wording why then cancel the otherwise blameless Operation Fortitude? And what if bad wording spoke the truth of a worse culture in Border Force that now saw intimidation as one of its core duties?

Roman Quaedvlieg, the darkly uniformed head of the goon squad, blamed the now apparently lowly Don Smith, (who, as many pointed out, didn’t sound so lowly as commander of Victorian and Tasmanian operations of the Australian Border Force) drafter of the original media statement announcing the operation.

But what was really going on here?

Quaedvlieg proved more enlightening in a recent interview in Lloyd’s List Australia, where he made it clear that Border Force’s “policy role is definitely led by the Department [of Immigration and Border Protection] … The most effective model ensures policy and operations work together with regular feedback and evaluation cycles so that our solutions, whether policy or operational, are holistic, practical and achieve agreed outcomes.” (My emphasis.)

“As ABF commissioner,” Dutton declared just two months ago announcing Quaedvlieg’s appointment, “Mr Quaedvlieg will work closely with the secretary of the department; ensuring that the operational and policy aspects of Australia’s border protection are joined at the highest levels.”

Which raises further questions: what was meant to be the “agreed outcome” of this operation? And who agreed to it “at the highest levels”? As a major public operation, what did Dutton know? And are we to believe that this very public action – the first publicised action by Border Force – was not authorised by Tony Abbott’s cabinet, even if they did not know of its particular details, as part of its ever more desperate attempts to create an election over national security?

Certainly Windsor, a man with no small experience of the ways of national politics, believes so, seeing it as part of the Abbott government’s “agenda to create fear”. It’s “a very sad agenda … to frighten people,” he said. “I have no doubt that some of these people in Tony Abbott’s government hope that something goes wrong domestically. They can taunt a Muslim into doing something so that they can say that we’re the only one who can protect you.”

In this, the Orwellian Border Force seems well primed to do the dirty work. On Australia Day, Mike Pezzullo, head of the immigration and border protection department – striking the necessary tone of the commander of the Night’s Watch of the Seven Kingdoms waiting for the white walkers to come over the wall and eat us all – told those public servants who hoped for a position in the soon-to-be-created Border Force that they “must man the ramparts and protect our borders”.

“Operational workers at the agencies hoping to be picked for the nation’s new border protection team,” reported the Canberra Times on 29 January 2015, “must first prove themselves in boot-camp style tests of strength and stamina including push-ups, squats and shuttle-runs.”

It is an iron law of bastardry that to humiliate others you must first be humiliated yourself. In this spirit, Border Force was an equal opportunity enforcer with “female border officials in the over-55 age group expected to perform four push-ups and six repetition squats as well as undergoing heart rate tests after mounting 22 steps in 60 seconds”.

Those who survived such idiocy to make it in the goon squad then had to work to a mission statement that reads like something out of a Philip K Dick sci-fi dystopia—except that Philip K Dick never gave such offence to the English language as this:

We consider the border not to be a purely physical barrier separating nation states, but a complex continuum stretching offshore and onshore, including the overseas, maritime, physical border and domestic dimensions of the border.

Treating the border as a continuum allows an integrated, layered approach to provide border management in depth – working ahead of and behind the border, as well as at the border, to manage threats and take advantage of opportunities.”

In Border Force world there is no space for reds under our bed, because the refugees are already there, while sleeping on top as well.

“By applying an intelligence-led model and working with our partner agencies across the border continuum,” this Matrix-induced drivel goes on, “we deliver effective border control over who and what has the right to enter or exit, and under what conditions.”

Other than the weird licence such words give to find and punish evil, well, anywhere – hot spots of global people smuggling such as Flinders Lane, my pub, your cafe – the last two clauses, eerily echo John Howard’s infamous 2001 speech in which he declared: “But we will decide who comes to this country and the circumstances in which they come.”

Only now, it seems they seem to want to decide a whole lot more about us all.

Some critics had the temerity to suggest that the proposed Melbourne operation might lead to racial profiling. Of course racial profiling would have had to have occurred, but that was only the beginning of things with a goon squad so politicised and militarised, tasked with answering to an enemy within, of imaginary borders that must be patrolled in the major streets of our cities now.

It is a truth wearily demonstrated by history that acts of tyranny condoned against some will finally become a tyranny visited on all. And in our acceptance of the antidemocratic, frequently illegal, often inhumane and occasionally criminal practices perpetuated against asylum seekers that have seen fellow human beings variously beaten, raped, molested, humiliated and murdered at Australian taxpayers’ expense, we have cleared a road for our own governments to begin treating us similarly.

And were that to happen, and if innocent victims were to use the courts to seek to protect their freedoms against the excesses of Border Force, would the attorney general – the purported custodian of the rule of law – then accuse them of “lawfare”?

If the public broadcaster sought to question such actions that infringe on our liberties would they be attacked as anti-Australian?

Would it be demanded of journalists that instead of digging to uncover crimes they join Team Australia?

And who is Team Australia anyway? Coal companies, thugs, rapists, goons and News Corp propagandists? To which list I almost forgot to add that epitome of Team Australia achievement, Prince Philip.

Much as the prime minister wishes to distance himself from Friday’s fiasco, he cannot. It is he who created the climate of division, promoted the hysteria and cultivated the hate; who sanctioned the offshore crimes and the lies and legal ruses to hide them; who passed the laws that protected the guilty and punished the innocent and sanctioned the creation of a state paramiltary force to enforce it all. As he said on the day of the inauguration of Border Force: “God bless you, God bless your work.”

The deeply antidemocratic excesses of the Abbott government should disturb any thinking Liberal party supporter. The left for 40 years had to live down the follies of Trotskyites and Maoists in the early 1970s. But their antidemocratic acts never reached beyond student and union politics. The ultra-left never came close to being a federal government.

Paradoxically, those who battled the ultra-left in the 1970s on student campuses and took on much of their authoritarian ardour – the far right – now run Australia. For some time it has been evident that the Abbott government has been the worst in our history – the most inept and the most incompetent.

But with such actions as Friday’s aborted exercise in police state intimidation, the Abbott government also begins to look in its desperation to cling to power the most dangerous. Perhaps knowingly, perhaps not, they are summoning into existence forces with powers they do not understand and no democracy should allow. These excesses will be a very long time being forgotten.

The Liberal party can look forward to decades of living such ignominy down. For the highest purpose of a democratic government is to bring a society together and hold it together, not to divide it with fears, with rumours of wars, with acts of belligerence against other and then against its own. It is not to instil fear on our streets with a paramilitary force run by politicians.

The forces that for two centuries held nations together are now in eclipse, and new ideas that make a murderous cult in the Middle East more attractive to young Australians than their own society can only be battled by finding new ways of bringing us together, not further dividing us and weakening our sense of ourselves as a society.

A political party needs reminding that they are only that, that it’s our Australia, not theirs, and certainly not their goons. And it’s time we took it back.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/aug/31/australias-treatment-of-asylum-seekers-was-bound-to-lead-to-something-like-border-force

This is a very good piece.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 06:40

Birb Katter: Sep 18, 2010; BOATS STOPPED
CARBON TAX AXED
TURNBULL AS PM
LIBERALS WILL BE RE-ELECTED IN A LANDSLIDE

open24hours posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VgwxKW0J6I

Nailed it.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 06:44

Cartoon: Jun 20, 2008; poop

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-08-31/pm-should-sack-ministers-who-leak-against-hockey-sinodinos-says/6737158

quote:

Joe Hockey 'has confidence of Cabinet' says Prime Minister Tony Abbott by political reporters Jane Norman and James Glenday Updated about an hour ago

Prime Minister Tony Abbott has rejected suggestions he is being urged to sack Joe Hockey as Treasurer. Several members of the Government believe Mr Hockey has failed to properly sell the Coalition's economic message, and would like to see him sacked or moved into another portfolio. But this afternoon Mr Abbott said "not a single person has raised this issue" with him. "This is a matter of almost no account whatsoever", the Prime Minister said. "The Treasurer is doing an excellent job, he has my full confidence and he has the full confidence of the Cabinet".

The internal chatter about the Treasurer appears to have raised the ire of some in the Government. In an unusual move this morning, senior Liberal Arthur Sinodinos demanded the Prime Minister sack anyone guilty of leaking against Mr Hockey. "Ministers should be working hard to win the Canning by-election rather than backgrounding against a colleague to scapegoat a potential loss," he wrote in a media statement.

Abbott struggles to maintain control

Tony Abbott has been scrabbling for purchase; desperately latching on to anything within reach in the hope of escaping his dire situation writes Paula Matthewson for The Drum. Senator Sinodinos, who was chief of staff to former prime minister John Howard, reminded colleagues Opposition Leader Bill Shorten was the "enemy", and said any talk of a reshuffle or a double dissolution election "smacks of defeatism". "The Prime Minister should sack any minister or adviser who is engaged in such deliberate leaking and destabilisation," he said. Social Services Minister Scott Morrison is considered the most likely replacement if Mr Hockey is axed as Treasurer, but this morning he dismissed talk about Mr Hockey's future as "speculative nonsense". "Joe's a great bloke, he's doing a tremendous job and we're all focused on jobs, growth and community safety," he told Macquarie Radio. "These stories are better placed in Who magazine, not a serious newspaper."

Foreign Minister Julie Bishop also backed Mr Hockey as Treasurer and told his critics to recognise the "enormous task he has in repairing the budget". "Not only does Joe have to deal with repairing the budget, we're also dealing with irresponsible Labor senators who are refusing to pass measures in the Senate, including their own savings," she said.

The Opposition said the Abbott Government should focus on the economy, not on the future of Mr Hockey.

Shadow treasurer Chris Bowen said it should be up to voters to remove Mr Hockey from the role, not his Coalition colleagues.

So there you have it. Never believe anything until it's officially denied. Welcome to the cool dark spot under the bus I guess Joe. Lol at Sinodinos (previous under bus winner) defending Hockey, misery loves company.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 06:44

Negligent: Aug 20, 2013; Its just lovely here this time of year.

According to Heydon you could literally be a member of the Liberal party and it wouldnt be grounds for disqualification

# ? Aug 31, 2015 06:47

You Am I: May 20, 2001; Me @ your poasting

GoldStandardConure posted:

Typewriter?

Just like Denis Denuto in the movie "The Castle" - dictates it all on a tape recorder, then goes and types it up on an old typewriter, and then blames photocopier issues

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnN7U9Q8pvQ

# ? Aug 31, 2015 06:47

Halo14: Sep 11, 2001

The Castle 2015

"It's not a house! It's a ~~home~~ part of my negatively geared investment portfolio"

# ? Aug 31, 2015 06:56

Negligent: Aug 20, 2013; Its just lovely here this time of year.

Kirby gave the Neville Wran lecture, checkmate leftards :smuggo:

# ? Aug 31, 2015 07:04

thatbastardken: Apr 23, 2010; A contract signed by a minor is not binding!

Yeah but Kirby can at least use a loving word processor.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 07:10

Les Affaires: Nov 15, 2004

I guess we could have predicted that Dyson Heydon would revert to type.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 07:13

thatbastardken: Apr 23, 2010; A contract signed by a minor is not binding!

noice

# ? Aug 31, 2015 07:16

Negligent: Aug 20, 2013; Its just lovely here this time of year.

He has about 15 paragraphs explaining why he didn't read his emails and people should really just take his word for it

# ? Aug 31, 2015 07:16

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008; Can't post for 3 hours!

Do you think in 50 years time distinguished Jurists will be invited to give the Sir George Brandis address?

# ? Aug 31, 2015 07:28

Sludge Tank: Jul 31, 2007; by Azathoth

Brandis about to suck his own face into the back of his head with smugness.

Now free-for-all mud slinging against Labor for trying to stop this.

Now obvious Labor is ISIS

# ? Aug 31, 2015 07:32

Tirade: Jul 17, 2001; Cybertron must act decisively to prevent and oppose acts of genocide and violations of international robot rights law and to bring perpetrators before the Decepticon Justice Division; Pillbug

Lascivious Sloth posted:

hehehe "The media adviser for immigration minister Peter Dutton replied “thanks for letting me know” the second time his office was sent a press release from Australian Border Force that appeared to threaten random visa checks and forced the cancellation of a Victorian police operation at the weekend."

Huh. This leak would have had to have come from the media ops folks within the immigration department. Not too surprising since they're getting actively rolled by their own Minister, but still it's unusual.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 07:54

tithin: Nov 14, 2003; [Grandmaster Tactician]

Negligent posted:

He has about 15 paragraphs explaining why he didn't read his emails and people should really just take his word for it

I may be mis-remembering, but weren't you defending him prior to his judgement on recusing himself?

# ? Aug 31, 2015 08:11

Flaky: Feb 14, 2011; Can't post for 3 years!

Cartoon posted:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-08-31/pm-should-sack-ministers-who-leak-against-hockey-sinodinos-says/6737158
So there you have it. Never believe anything until it's officially denied. Welcome to the cool dark spot under the bus I guess Joe. Lol at Sinodinos (previous under bus winner) defending Hockey, misery loves company.

The kiss of death. Poor Joe cant even be fired without conforming to type.

Flaky fucked around with this message at 08:22 on Aug 31, 2015

# ? Aug 31, 2015 08:18

Zenithe: Feb 25, 2013; _{Ask not to whom the Anidavatar belongs; it belongs to thee.}

Cartoon posted:

Better yet:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8d4RtvMQp10

Muppet Government

# ? Aug 31, 2015 08:33

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# ? May 10, 2024 14:21

Negligent: Aug 20, 2013; Its just lovely here this time of year.

tithin posted:

I may be mis-remembering, but weren't you defending him prior to his judgement on recusing himself?

I said that if he accepts the common law test for apprehended bias is applicable he would have to go, because it is a low threshold.

What he's done is a classic exercise in legal technicality, relying on the fact of a "fair minded informed observer," when most people's perceptions are based on other than rational considerations of all the facts.

I read the reasons and there is little to fault with the logic. Heydon is a fine black letter lawyer, AND he still managed to get his shots in (Kirby reference, calling Gillard and Shorten to testify)

E: also used what were probably off the cuff remarks by Counsel against them, to devastating effect on said arguments

Negligent fucked around with this message at 08:45 on Aug 31, 2015

# ? Aug 31, 2015 08:37

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Auspol August - A Colossal Fuckup

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