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“We were sent a very strong message by the electorate at this general election, and we are behaving like a petulant child who has been told you can’t have the sweeties in the sweetshop, you can’t have power. And now we’re running around stamping our feet, screaming at the electorate.” -Chuka Umunna, Labour MP for Streatham and Shadow Business Secretary "Did Jeremy Corbyn used to wear open-toed sandals around Westminster in hot weather? Does he still? They’re comfy (I wear them myself), but ridiculous. If memory serves, he wore them with socks, white socks even... Harold Wilson, four times Labour prime minister, used to wear open-toed sandals on Scilly Isles holidays (no socks). But is post-imperial Britain ready for a major party leader who wears them to work? With socks?" -Michael White, who somehow gets paid to write words "When people say 'my heart says I should be with that politics', well get a transplant, because that's just dumb." -Tony Blair  So, having decisively won the May election with 36.9% of the votes of the 66.1% of the electorate that voted, and a massive majority of 12 seats, it's time we all admit that the Conservatives have won for all time. Our future Prime Minister George Osborne released a special edition bonus budget this month, now that he doesn't have to listen to Nick Clegg pretending that he still represents anybody at all, and has given us all a vision of the future, namely Ian Duncan Smith making this face - forever:  Among the great leaps forward in responsible budget management are more debt for students, more money to make bombs to drop on places that look at us funny, and a new living wage that isn't actually a living wage and won't actually help low-income households due to all the cuts elsewhere. Children who make the mistake of being born as the third child will be punished like the scum that they are, while children who have been born into an inheritance of up to £1m will not have any of their hard-earned cash cruelly stolen from them by the State. 18-21 year olds will no longer be automatically entitled to housing benefit, as they can obviously just shack up in one of their parents' spare houses.  In response the Labour Party, the Voice Of the Working Class, decided that the best way they could represent the people who voted for them to oppose the Tories was to not bother showing up to the vote on the welfare bill, as voting against it would be telling the British people they were wrong. Or at least telling 40% of 66% of them they were wrong, which I can't quite be bothered doing the maths but I'm pretty sure works out to somewhere in the high 90s. Yes, having lost the election under Evil Communist Red Ed Milliband, it's time for the Labour Party to admit that the only option left is to slowly become more and more like the Conservatives, until they become so indistinguishable that they eventually merge somewhere around 2030 and bring the ideal strong government that comes from a one-party state. Their leadership election is going swimmingly, with one candidate with the strong conviction that Labour need to move rightwards, and two with no convictions whatsoever apart from wanting to be elected who will do or say pretty much anything to see that happen, just like the master of political strategy that was Dreamy Ed Milliband The Wise. But wait - what's that, coming over the horizon? What's that noise, the heavenly trumpet calls, the angels singing something about flags to the tune of O Christmas Tree for some reason - it's -  It's Jeremy loving Corbyn - train enthusiast, maker of jam, possible wearer of socks with sandals, and actual left-winger - who has just scraped enough nominations from unsuspecting MPs to be a candidate for the Leader of the Labour Party. And thanks to a new system of voting, where one vote is given to each member - including "supporters" who only have to pay £3 to have a say - Corbyn might actually have a chance of winning. The reaction has been swift. Newspaper columnists everywhere have warned against the dangers of voting for a person who you actually agree with, Blairites are doing their best to call Labour members idiots without directly saying so, and the remains of Tony Blair himself have somehow proved themselves still able to do a passable impression of speech like humans do to advocate heart transplants, as if he knows anything about heart ownership. But here, in this thread, we know what is destined. We True Believers. For it is written, somewhere, presumably, that the great Corbae will descend from the sky itself, and bring about a new age of Important dates for all this exciting Labour Leadership Stuff (from Wikipedia)
Also in the news:
UKMT 2015 so far:
Other threads for British things:
This Was In The Last OP, So Sure, I'll Quote It I Guess Junior G-man posted:You guys should all take part in the Big Butterfly Count today or this weekend. It runs till the end of August. Also there's an IRC channel which you can hang out in: crispix posted:It's #ukgoons on synirc. Yes, Question Time is for the most part the highlight of our weeks but there are always people around and there's often heated debate on account of having a resident Tory Bastard or two. Generally if there's a political event of any kind there'll be people in the channel watchalonging it - also non-political events like the sheepdog championships. And then there's the general chitchat about topics including Europe, ale, the internet, what happens if you eat only bacon and egg sandwiches... the list goes on, really, and it doesn't at any point get more exciting. Angepain fucked around with this message at 16:13 on Jul 31, 2015 |
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Jul 31, 2015 15:31
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) are awesome and need a hand. Also, better numbers = better science and more understanding. 
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Edit: ^^ This is an awesome OP.M for Mushroom posted:Well I just completely hosed up the one job interview I've managed to get in months of trying. Really sorry.  Would it help to get some thoughts from UKMT for next time, or do you know where it all went wrong?Kegluneq posted:Are people still having issues with signing up as Labour supporters? I'm just asking because despite having to put my billing address rather than the one on the electoral roll through I've apparently been accepted with no issues - just got an email telling me when and how to vote (both addresses are in the same constituency). I posted yesterday that I was all sorted after speaking to a nice person on the telephone who told me he could "override the system", that I was all set up, and I'd receive my ballot stuff electronically in August. Then a couple of hours later, I got another automated rejection email.  I'm probably going to leave it there and let the Corbae do without my vote.
Prince John fucked around with this message at 15:36 on Jul 31, 2015 |
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Jul 31, 2015 15:33
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This OP. I like this loving OP.
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Jul 31, 2015 15:37
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Angepain posted:and the remains of Tony Blair himself have somehow proved themselves still able to do a passable impression of speech like humans do to advocate heart transplants, as if he knows anything about heart ownership.
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Jul 31, 2015 15:44
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 for the OP, this is some good poo poo. Although I'm confused as to whether boatchat is allowed or if Stephen Fry is okay now. Maybe next month.M for Mushroom posted:Well I just completely hosed up the one job interview I've managed to get in months of trying.   Was it a proper job relating to your field of study? I just came out of a call centre job that had nothing to do with my PhD (lol) but was actually pretty cool and good, and being paid was just lovely.
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Jul 31, 2015 15:48
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Angepain posted:Forget this whole politics crap, look at the widdle babies! Aww! Who's going to get rich off of the taxpayer? Oo are! That's right! How can kids that young look that inbred? How is that even a thing that is biologically possible? I don't want to want to punch a two-year-old in the face, but here we are. e; But yeah that's a pro-tier OP, great work there.
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Jul 31, 2015 15:48
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Best OP in ages, OP.
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Jul 31, 2015 15:48
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Autonomous Monster posted:This OP. I like this loving OP. Yes. This. This is a good OP. --- Not sure if it was reported in the last thread, but the CWU is throwing its support behind Corbyn. "CWU backs Jeremy Corbyn 'to oust Blairites' posted:The Communication Workers Union has backed left-wing MP Jeremy Corbyn in Labour's leadership contest, saying the "grip of the Blairites" on the party must be "loosened once and for all".
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Jul 31, 2015 15:50
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I don't think you're that antidote Kendall]
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I finally got round to registering as a supporter so I can vote for Full Corbynism.
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Jul 31, 2015 15:51
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Top OP, but I demand that the thread title be written in capitals.
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Jul 31, 2015 15:51
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Thanks, goons. I decided to honour the harking back to 1980s politics by harking back to the age of OPs with too many words in.
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Jul 31, 2015 15:51
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Mister Adequate posted:How can kids that young look that inbred? How is that even a thing that is biologically possible? I don't want to want to punch a two-year-old in the face, but here we are. I don't know, he's not that bad considering; look see!  He's inherited Kate's glossy shine, and William's vacant stare and lolling tongue. 
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Jul 31, 2015 15:55
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Tony Blair is an incompetant buffoon who was elected three times in spite of an unprecedented vote loss solely because the tories were somehow worse, and New Labour is an idiotic concept supported only by people who refuse to understand the context of literally anything. Nigel Farage rants about scroungers and foreigners while being paid double the average salary to refuse to engage in european politics, while being a privately educated rax avoiding charlatan. Julian Brazer killed a young Italian man and used taxpayers money to settle the court fees. The concept of PCCs are undemocratic to the point of absurdity and have cost the taxpayer millions to bring the police into disrepute on multiple occassions where, admittedly, they belong. Government drug policy is racist and is a way to spend money killing poors and imprisoning blacks devised and furthered by people who like paying for cocaine on expenses. If anyone says they can solve a societal issue and spends less than an hour explaining, they are lying or stupid or both. Between 5-10% of the sitting government have raped children. Britain is not, in any way or form, democratic. All coppers are bastards who exist to protect rich paedophiles, and must be considered the enemy. Anyone comparing household budgets with government ones is too stupid to be allowed to enter politics. Our govrrnment ae illegitimate war criminals who murdered syrian militants with absolutely no mandate, after being the only government to lose a war vote. Think thatll do for now.
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Jul 31, 2015 15:55
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Pesky Splinter posted:I don't know, he's not that bad considering; look see! William's gonna look like a nonagenarian by the time he's 50.
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Jul 31, 2015 15:57
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Mister Adequate posted:How can kids that young look that inbred? How is that even a thing that is biologically possible? I don't want to want to punch a two-year-old in the face, but here we are. The royals were carefully handpicked to produce the least obvious inbreeding. Due to budget cuts, filthy outside mudbloods have infected the glorious sibling loving line and all that inbreeding is bubbling up.
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Jul 31, 2015 15:57
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One thing: you forgot the list of links to previous UK mega threads. Apart from that great OP
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Jul 31, 2015 15:58
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nothing to seehere posted:One thing: you forgot the list of links to previous UK mega threads. Apart from that great OP Look again
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Jul 31, 2015 15:58
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Spangly A posted:The concept of PCCs are undemocratic to the point of absurdity and have cost the taxpayer millions to bring the police into disrepute on multiple occassions where, admittedly, they belong. It's sad that it's hosed up enough that the PCCs and Lords see it, as did the 140k people that petitioned on cannabis law, but the Commons refuses to.
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Jul 31, 2015 16:02
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Oberleutnant posted:Look again I stand corrected
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Jul 31, 2015 16:04
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Angepain posted:Also I think there's an IRC channel somewhere but Question Time isn't even on at the moment so it might be a bit dead. It's #ukgoons on synirc. Yes, Question Time is for the most part the highlight of our weeks but there are always people around and there's often heated debate on account of having a resident Tory Bastard or two. Generally if there's a political event of any kind there'll be people in the channel watchalonging it - also non-political events like the sheepdog championships. And then there's the general chitchat about topics including Europe, ale, the internet, what happens if you eat only bacon and egg sandwiches... the list goes on, really, and it doesn't at any point get more exciting.
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Jul 31, 2015 16:08
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Mister Adequate posted:How can kids that young look that inbred? How is that even a thing that is biologically possible? I don't want to want to punch a two-year-old in the face, but here we are.
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Jul 31, 2015 16:09
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Kegluneq posted:They're parting his hair from the right, which is a classic error. What in the living gently caress am I looking at here.
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Jul 31, 2015 16:12
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crispix posted:It's #ukgoons on synirc. Yes, Question Time is for the most part the highlight of our weeks but there are always people around and there's often heated debate on account of having a resident Tory Bastard or two. Generally if there's a political event of any kind there'll be people in the channel watchalonging it - also non-political events like the sheepdog championships. And then there's the general chitchat about topics including Europe, ale, the internet, what happens if you eat only bacon and egg sandwiches... the list goes on, really, and it doesn't at any point get more exciting. Cheers, I've put this in the OP.
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Jul 31, 2015 16:14
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Prince John posted:Edit: ^^ This is an awesome OP.  Kegluneq posted:
I'm going to have to move out of London if I don't find something else soon. Besides, if I'm going to be consigned to retail hell forever more I may as well do it back up in Yorkshire where housing alone won't cost me basically all my income...
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Jul 31, 2015 16:16
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Kegluneq posted:They're parting his hair from the right, which is a classic error. how enormously bizarre
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Jul 31, 2015 16:18
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Guavanaut posted:PCCs in Derbyshire, Dorset, Durham, and Surrey have done more for drug policy reform than any of the current cabinet member though. wrong pccs. Police Chief Commissioners/constables are the four doing good things, poloce and crime commissioners are the neverending farce. Ann Barnes is my local, shes a bigger trainwreck than four cows on a track. Also Ive been persuaded to run as a reform candidate top, top op too.
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Jul 31, 2015 16:26
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Am I right in thinking all the petulant children stuff is aimed at dissuading fence-sitters from going for Corbyn or do they really think that Blair et al telling his supporters off for being naughty boys and girls will actually convince them?
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Jul 31, 2015 16:29
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XMNN posted:Am I right in thinking all the petulant children stuff is aimed at dissuading fence-sitters from going for Corbyn or do they really think that Blair et al telling his supporters off for being naughty boys and girls will actually convince them? Except Blair, he is just wrong on everything. Wrong on Corbyn, wrong on the causes of Corbyn.
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Jul 31, 2015 16:36
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top op, op. one of the best in ages.
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Jul 31, 2015 16:50
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Spangly A posted:Julian Brazer killed a young Italian man and used taxpayers money to settle the court fees. This was a tragic accident rather than a deliberate killing. quote:I was on the wrong side of the road - it is every English driver's nightmare Various sources say he got a top brain surgeon to fly out to Italy to help, but he arrived too late. The motorcyclist's "extreme speed" around a blind S-bend was identified by the police as a factor in the collision which was why he was permitted by the prosecution to make the plea deal he did. I haven't found any source suggesting he expensed his legal fees, even a ranting blog post, unless by "he used taxpayer's money" you mean "he spent his salary". Happy to be enlightened. A bonus of all that googling is that you're going to love this website I found: http://liarsbuggersandthieves.blogspot.co.uk/2006/11/tory-criminals.html Prince John fucked around with this message at 17:05 on Jul 31, 2015 |
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Jul 31, 2015 17:01
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Prince John posted:This was a tragic accident rather than a deliberate killing. Whoever put that website together believes being gay is a crime.
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Jul 31, 2015 17:11
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Jedit posted:Whoever put that website together believes being gay is a crime. Well it used to be and the lay out of that site does look like it is from the 50s.
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Jul 31, 2015 17:16
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Jedit posted:Whoever put that website together believes being gay is a crime. It was in 1958, to be fair, though that item is a bit strange, as the other ones are much more recent. Also apparently bringing home gay porn from Amsterdam is against the law?
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Jul 31, 2015 17:17
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Jedit posted:Whoever put that website together believes being gay is a crime.
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Jul 31, 2015 17:21
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Holy poo poo I did a thread title.
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Jul 31, 2015 17:26
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Angepain posted:It was in 1958, to be fair, though that item is a bit strange, as the other ones are much more recent. Also apparently bringing home gay porn from Amsterdam is against the law? As Guavanaut said, porn is legal in the UK what isn't is importing it bizarrely. Its due to the way porn was decriminalised was a mess and it created this black hole in legislation. Specifically it is a 150 year old law that they haven't removed from the books. See here - http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/l_to_o/obscene_publications/#b06
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Jul 31, 2015 17:35
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What's the turnaround been like on application processing, is it sorted by your local party or is it centralised? I helped them out at the election so hopefully they will work out I'm not a Tory pretty quickly.
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Jul 31, 2015 17:38
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ukle posted:As Guavanaut said, porn is legal in the UK what isn't is importing it bizarrely. Its due to the way porn was decriminalised was a mess and it created this black hole in legislation. Specifically it is a 150 year old law that they haven't removed from the books. See here - doesnt that technically ban importing most comic books?
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Jul 31, 2015 17:38
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im taking it as assumed that comic books corrupt children btw
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Jul 31, 2015 17:39
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It's been fifteen days since I did my supporter thing and I've still not been confirmed.
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Jul 31, 2015 17:44
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