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Hey, listen, I understand. Life is busy, and healthcare is so expensive. Who has the time or money for proper health care these days? Not me, that's for sure. Been coughing up blood for weeks now, but I've got a life to lead! Thats where this thread comes in. Maybe some of these medical issues don't require a doctor visit. Maybe, just maybe, the cure for what ails you can be found in this thread. Canker sores: real painful fuckers. nothing worse than a big fuckin lump on your tongue when you're trying to enjoy your 3rd bag of sour patch kids this morning. TIP: collect some earwax on your finger and apply it directly to the sore. It'll protect the sore from further irritation and it tastes great! |
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Aug 6, 2015 13:28
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| # ¿ May 21, 2024 04:37 |
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Water on the knee: This can be extremely painful depending on the severity and chemical makeup of the water. This is not something you want to mess around with. TIP: ever hear of a towell, idiot? |
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Aug 6, 2015 13:30
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Headaches: Are no joke. They can range in severity from mild nuisance to excruciating pain that makes you wish for death. TIP: pinpoint the location/source of the headache, take a power drill with a 2 inch bit and carefully drill into your skull. The released pressure will provide instant relief and as an added bonus you've now trepanned yourself and are a genius. |
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Aug 6, 2015 13:38
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pig slut lisa posted:I suffer from several maladies, including: The answers you seek lie within your home |
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Aug 6, 2015 14:00
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Nose Bleeds: Can be embarrassing any time they strike, even if you're home alone picking your nose again. There've been debates over the years whether to lean forward or back, we're here to settle the debate. TIP: Take a hand full of tissues or paper towels and chop em up real fine. Using a credit card and a straw, make a huge fuckin rail of tissue dust and hork the whole thing up in one go. It works the same way spray on bandages work. Alternatively, inhale spray-on bandage juices through the effected nostril. |
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Aug 6, 2015 14:16
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joke_explainer posted:What most non-doctors don't know is that "Cancer" [finger quotes] is actually an acronym. It stands for Can Aliens Nastily Catch Every Rebound?, and it's really a biological warning system about the lizard people that have infiltrated the NBA. this is the plot of space jam |
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Aug 6, 2015 15:12
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Sunburns can turn a lovely day at the beach into a waking nightmare plaguing every step of every day for the rest of your life until the sweet release of death frees you from your torment. TIP: While prevention is the best medicine, completely avoiding the sun isn't possible no matter how hard I try. Once you're sunburnt, take a high powered water pick and blast the top 4 layers of skin off. This comes with the added bonus of an amazing complexion once you're out of the hospital. |
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Aug 6, 2015 18:59
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Jimi Changa posted:Dropsy causes swelling of the limbs and extremities, elevated heart rate, great aunt-ism, and death. lol Qwerinty posted:Exhaustion is when you do not get enough rest and get cranky and want to sleep forever. this can occur from your diet, stimuli before sleep, mental disorders, or refusal to listen to your parents and stay up all night in protest of their tyranny lol i love you guys |
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Aug 6, 2015 20:06
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MinorLeagueAllstar posted:Canker sores: real painful fuckers. nothing worse than a big fuckin lump on your tongue when you're trying to enjoy your 3rd bag of sour patch kids this morning. btw this came from the actual Doctor's Book of Home Remidies |
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Aug 6, 2015 21:17
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| # ¿ May 21, 2024 04:37 |
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tada posted:Cover yourself in honey to avoid getting bitten by a bee. The last thing a bee wants to eat is more honey [editor's note: do NOT do in areas where bears are known to hang out] |
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Aug 21, 2015 02:04
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