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N'thing the 'excessive immersion in role-play is indicative of a deeper problem'. My ex-fiancée was heavily, heavily into written RP; she'd stay up for hours crafting posts, she invested herself into it utterly, and it became a fundamental replacement for real-world emotional and physical intimacy. Not just with me, but with anyone. It would, literally, reduce her to tears. The fights and fall-outs she had with RP partners were of an impossible, ludicrous nature. Ghogarg, well done on escaping that bullshit world, and that mindset.
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Aug 12, 2015 10:42
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Ghogargi posted:Man, I know folks like you, bystanders who didn't even wanna deal with this poo poo and it ends up costing them so much. What a mess. I'm really sorry you had to go through all that. It's a poo poo coping mechanism, it doesn't work, it makes you worse and it's the wrong choice. I'm sorry your ex-fiancee didn't get good help and avoid all the crap. It was what it was. She was offered help on many occasions; by me, by my parents, by her parents (though I think they had little conception of the true depth of her immersion into the whole thing, but that's perhaps another story). Looking back, I certainly enabled in it many ways. I could have been crueller to be kind, so to speak, but it's a very hard thing to do. She has crippling anxiety that either got worse, or simply became more evident, as our relationship went on. By the time it ended, the fantasy world had taken over her entire life. We would have hour-long blazing rows about her not doing the dishes for a week (we were supposed to share the housework. I cooked; she was supposed to keep the kitchen clean). She wouldn't put anything other than pyjamas on unless she had to go outside. She would shower once a week. We had separate rooms, because she spent her life in a nocturnal sleep cycle, sitting on the internet either typing RP posts, or playing Rift. It consumed her; fictional characters formed a large part of her conversation; IC fights would lead to days of OOC misery and stress, and the characters she created became more and more real. Faced with a fantasy world that I, and the real world, could never compete with, I withdrew and eventually ended it, some two years after I should have. If anyone wants to know what it's like to be the one on the outside, living with a Lifer, I'll answer (assuming that the OP doesn't mind me chipping in. I don't want to derail what is a fascinating thread, for me).
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Aug 20, 2015 13:56
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Ghogargi posted:...I look back and see SO MUCH about my illnesses, personified in the most obvious of ways... Out of that whole post, these two things resonated enormously with me. I am really, really glad for you that you're out, and working through things with trained professionals. You have a fantastic chance at being better, and kinder, to yourself, and it's heart-warming to see someone take that chance and run with it.
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Aug 27, 2015 16:01
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Error 404 posted:And the Society for Creative Anachronism has been around since 1966. While not strictly a LARP, that poo poo's definitely a gateway drug. Every LARPER I've ever known was a current or former member. SCA is kind of interesting, though. I'm not a participant, but I know a couple of folk who are, and one of the really neat things is that there's a lot of genuine historical methodologies being researched—metalworking, cuisine, tailoring, ceramics, and general arts and crafts. It's an interesting crossover between historical roleplaying and experimental archeology/sociology.
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Oct 24, 2015 11:08
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