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Hey Ghogargi, thanks for posting this. I was into VLARP for a while between 2012 and 2014, and did some boffer LARP between 2013 and 2015. Now I mostly just go bullshit at the local games and crack jokes with a character sheet in my pocket so I can go to Whataburger with the people I like, afterwards. I have so many thoughts on this that I want to articulate, I'm not sure I'll get them all out in one post. I was flabbergasted by how laboriously, egregiously awful a lot of the people in the MES were, to themselves and each other. I have my own slew of issues, sure. Just, the amount of raw vitriol in that community, of people bitterly and passionately railing against one another, loving floored me. But then, here's the thing about Vampire: the Masquerade. The whole thing was originally made to be a small-group tabletop game. Your characters are established as awful monsters with shaky moral footing, at best, who engage in petty, hyper-competitive con games with each other. The sorts of things characters do to one another are reprehensible way more often than they are constructive. Even then, you spare your coterie of other PCs, and focus your super-dickery on NPCs, and vice-versa! You are not meant to cheat and betray real human beings on a regular basis, because no one can handle that kind of emotional compromise indefinitely! Even then, though, I can't really say I've been particularly loathsome to anyone, or received bad treatment in kind. I certainly haven't ever gotten that deep into the escapism. I kept trying to approach it all from a performative aspect, for being able to hone improvisational abilities, or public speaking. I found that my modest experience in theater and vocal music meant nothing, though. I spent most regional/national cons, and even most of the away games, feeling awkward and self-conscious. I feel particularly proud of few things I've done in LARP play. I've avoided direct involvement in any bullshit, though I've been caught in the crossfire of some atomic meltdowns. I can't say that I've ever gotten too into a character and been unable to pull myself back out. If anything, I've done a pretty good job of separating myself from these personae, thanks to prior experiences in theater giving me the know-how to just forget my lines and drop a character after a show is over, because the next production is coming up, and there's no time for that. But, for real. People in the big, old, established LARP clubs can get loving WEIRD. I've borne witness to some seriously weird behavior, where the lines between fantasy and reality blurred. Seeing it from Ghogargi's angle helps it all make more sense.
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Oct 24, 2016 07:13
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Hey, Ghogargi, don't worry about what we think at this point. Take care of yourself, and do what you need to do for your daughter. This whole thing sounds a hell of a lot like addiction, for which brain chemistry is to blame. Too much of anything is bad, by its inherent definition.
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Oct 24, 2016 18:57
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