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two gigantic hammers swing from the ceiling and smashes them betwixt their iron might they walk down the road and a hidden spring loaded tile launches them into a brick wall they are bathing in a waterfall and a large bear hunting salmon trips and falls ontop of them but the bear is unscathed any way you can ---------------- |
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Aug 15, 2015 04:44
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lasso the moon and yank on it hard enough to bring it down to the earth and ontop of them challenge them to an arm wrestling match and slam them down hard enough to send them directly into hell draw two x's on the ground and when they stop and furrow their brows and harumph at the graffiti drop a 16ton weight on them they're climbing up a crevice in a cliff and create a signficiant enough explosion nearby where the walls slowly close in on them ---------------- |
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Aug 15, 2015 04:45
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some say you can't truly smash the patriarchy but i have spent years on a rube-goldberg machine that will send a bowling ball down a metal spiral which triggers a candle that burns a rope that releases a golf club that hits a pressure plate and a giant hinged mousetrap will destroy them utterly
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Aug 15, 2015 04:45
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the patriarchy could grow a giant beanstalk and invade the privacy and safety (the patriarchy is very good at this) of a giant and the giant, being smart as well as huge, could catch them and put them in his grinder with a few giant nugs and smoke them
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Aug 15, 2015 04:46
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they could walk into a hallway full of piano wire and trip and fall and they'll be a bunch of meat cubes on the ground. this doesn't technically smash them but i'm going to count it
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Aug 15, 2015 04:47
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put some porn magazines inside a huge bell at a church and when they find it (this might take a day or two) you could pull the ropes and the intense sonic vibrations will make them as flat as a quarter. the note produced by the bell will also be flat
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Aug 15, 2015 04:48
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tell them there is a woman who is about to get promoted over her peers after years of dedicated and focused hard work, and when they run in the direction you are pointing, beer gut slopping over their giant belt buckle, jowls flapping in the wind, a bunch of joggers trample them
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Aug 15, 2015 04:52
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final destination, fox only, no items |
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Aug 15, 2015 04:54
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Qwerinty posted:tell them there is a woman who is about to get promoted over her peers after years of dedicated and focused hard work, and when they run in the direction you are pointing, beer gut slopping over their giant belt buckle, jowls flapping in the wind, a bunch of joggers trample them lol |
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Aug 15, 2015 04:55
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make a voodoo doll of the patriarchy out of glass and drop it on a hard surface
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Aug 15, 2015 04:56
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a man will assuredly be the first extra-solar astronaut so the people at ground control could send them into a decaying orbit around two planets about to crash into each other
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Aug 15, 2015 05:00
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dress up as a giant wooden soldier and kick the patriarchy in the crotch
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Aug 15, 2015 05:00
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TWIST FIST posted:make a voodoo doll of the patriarchy out of glass and drop it on a hard surface ---------------- |
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Aug 15, 2015 05:01
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you could get a pet snake and when they go to make a joke about trouser snakes the snake will coil around them and whisper "cultural sensitivity" before eating them
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Aug 15, 2015 05:02
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Qwerinty posted:you could get a pet snake and when they go to make a joke about trouser snakes the snake will coil around them and whisper "cultural sensitivity" before eating them lol
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Aug 15, 2015 05:04
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you could grab their arms and slap them with them while saying "stop hitting yourself" until they are a pile of broken bones
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Aug 15, 2015 05:04
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upload their consciousness to a computer and now that they are free from the physical realm they can see how they treated others and start to learn how to treat others with dignity and respect. then you could smash the computer with a baseball bat
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Aug 15, 2015 05:08
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every morning i go outside and throw a brick in a random direction. i dont know where the patriarchy is but using this method i should hit them eventually and once i do i can figure out the rest from there
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Aug 15, 2015 05:09
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if they're in a band, you can go to one of their shows and when they finish the set you could clap really hard while looking out one eye to make it look like you're constantly crushing them. while this doesn't actually smash the patriarchy, it's good practice
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Aug 15, 2015 05:10
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With some big ol titties!! Lol |
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Aug 15, 2015 05:11
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I saw a lady crush a beer can with hers before so I figure they would work for the patriarchy too! |
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Aug 15, 2015 05:12
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patriarchy/big brother: There will be no curiosity, no enjoyment of the process of life. All competing pleasures will be destroyed. But always — do not forget this, Qwerinty — always there will be the intoxication of power, constantly increasing and constantly growing subtler. Always, at every moment, there will be the thrill of victory, the sensation of trampling on an enemy who is helpless. If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face — forever. me: i am going to actually stamp on your face forever, with my boots ---------------- |
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Aug 15, 2015 05:13
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get it really drunk |
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Aug 15, 2015 05:16
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appeal to their vanity, encourage them to lift weights beyond their ability so they are crushed by their own hubris
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Aug 15, 2015 05:16
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kegels
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Aug 15, 2015 05:17
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agree with all their ideas about women being inferior and extend those ideas until women do not have to work due to having delicate constitutions. use the free time to develop a powerful secret women army that no man expects
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Aug 15, 2015 05:22
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City of Glompton posted:agree with all their ideas about women being inferior and extend those ideas until women do not have to work due to having delicate constitutions. use the free time to develop a powerful secret women army that no man expects the powerful army could band together and flip a giant penny and crush the patriarchy underneath its immense weight ---------------- |
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Aug 15, 2015 05:25
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breed a gigantic alligator and when they start talking about how much better at math men are than women, the alligator could crush them in its mouth. this also teaches students what the proper use for > or < is.
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Aug 15, 2015 05:28
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dare them to keep putting on polos until their knees buckle under the weight put the concept of a male controlled society between parenthesis and delete one character at a time until all that's left is (p) then finally jut () ---------------- |
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Aug 15, 2015 05:30
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Qwerinty posted:the patriarchy could grow a giant beanstalk and invade the privacy and safety (the patriarchy is very good at this) of a giant and the giant, being smart as well as huge, could catch them and put them in his grinder with a few giant nugs and smoke them i just want to make a brief note on this post and say that i had to use "giant" and "his" because if i said "giantess" and "her", the patriarchy would start spamming the thread about their fetishes ---------------- |
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Aug 15, 2015 05:33
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build the worlds largest can of Axe body spray, and when the patriarchy comes to marvel at it, use it like a rolling pin and smash em |
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Aug 15, 2015 05:38
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mycophobia posted:get it really drunk b/c smashed is a synonym for drunk. |
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Aug 15, 2015 05:42
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run around yelling that the sky is falling and when someone comes to look laugh at them and say you tricked them. do this every day and eventually theyll get tired of it and stop listening and when the sky does fall they wont do anything and theyll get crushed by it
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Aug 15, 2015 05:43
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give them directions over the phone and when they get to an intersection, tell them they absolutely have right of way to merge into oncoming traffic, and a semi truck will hit them. make sure to use facetime
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Aug 15, 2015 05:44
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chase them into a fake tunnel painted on a wall |
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Aug 15, 2015 05:47
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tao of lmao posted:chase them into a fake tunnel painted on a wall ---------------- |
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Aug 15, 2015 05:54
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mycophobia posted:b/c smashed is a synonym for drunk. haha ---------------- |
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Aug 15, 2015 05:55
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Nooner posted:I saw a lady crush a beer can with hers before so I figure they would work for the patriarchy too! 
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Aug 15, 2015 05:55
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while it is carrying a grocery cart filled with everyday items it bought with $1.28 of the earnings to every woman's dollar, plow into the patriarchy with a souped-up go-kart |
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Aug 15, 2015 05:58
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| # ? May 4, 2024 07:25 |
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Rodatose posted:while it is carrying a grocery cart filled with everyday items it bought with $1.28 of the earnings to every woman's dollar, plow into the patriarchy with a souped-up go-kart thank you for this good post, friend ---------------- |
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Aug 15, 2015 06:00
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