Ways to Smash the Patriarchy

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > Ways to Smash the Patriarchy

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

the patriarchy invents teleportation to oppress people at an even faster rate. sneak a mosquito into their teleporter and then hit them with a flyswatter upon their exit

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 06:01

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# ? May 4, 2024 07:45

Tweezer Reprise: It hasn't got six strings, but it's a lot of fun.

engineer a centuries-long buildup of tradition and mythos to create an elaborate culture wherein the patriarchy is inherently inferior

# ? Aug 15, 2015 06:08

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

R3M posted:

engineer a centuries-long buildup of tradition and mythos to create an elaborate culture wherein the patriarchy is inherently inferior

you can chisel the mythos onto stone tablets and then drop them on their heads from a great height

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 06:10

Tweezer Reprise: It hasn't got six strings, but it's a lot of fun.

commission the patriarchy's fashion labels to make all their shoes have no grip. so they die if they get anywhere close to stairs

# ? Aug 15, 2015 06:15

Macnult

Lizard Wizard posted:

final destination, fox only, no items

# ? Aug 15, 2015 07:02

ulvir

the kool aid man, but as a woman (or genderqueer, doesn't matter) instead who smashes through the wall anytime men throws a "Women, am I right? :smug:

" comment or joke

# ? Aug 15, 2015 11:23

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

the kool-aid mascot literally smashing through the gender barrier. a brick flies off and hits a senator in the head. "finally..." the mascot says with a look of dignified contentment

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 11:33

Ace of Baes

Qwerinty posted:

the kool-aid mascot literally smashing through the gender barrier. a brick flies off and hits a senator in the head. "finally..." the mascot says with a look of dignified contentment

lol

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 11:52

Ace of Baes

cut off the head off a republican congressman and fix it to the end of a morning star

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 11:53

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

they could be walking down the streets of a huge city and you could push your air conditioner out the window and onto them. no movement forgoes sacrifice

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 11:54

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

they take a walk into a forest to find something non-human they can destroy and an elderly oak dies and falls ontop of them. if a tree falls in the woods and on the patriarchy, does anyone care? yes, but only because we hate them.

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 11:56

Ace of Baes

the plot of armageddon only the asteroid lands on a mens rights activist conference

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 11:57

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

the common symbol of a naked, huge breasted woman on the mast of a sailing vessel is incredibly offensive and outdated. tie the patriarchy to the mast and crash it into a naval destroyer

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 11:57

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

theoretically, you could shrink the patriarchy down to the size of a particle and put it in the large hadron collider and accelerate them to unbelievable speeds and smash it with the heteronormative particle. the resultant molecule scientifically proves men are just the worst

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 12:25

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

the gargoyle patriarchy is overthrown and pushed off of buildings and ontop of the human patriarchy. D O U B L E �K I L L

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 12:26

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

the patriarchy could waddle out onto a stage in front of a crowd and start quacking "pee pee doo doo cum! fart! jizz!" and a sandbag or lighting fixture could fall on top of them and a huge cane drags the corpse off stage

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 12:28

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

a literal white knight is walking around in full plate mail and a giant magnet pulls them from a great distance and velocity

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 12:30

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

an av cert to the first person who can make an excellent looping gif of arnold schwarzenegger in terminator 2 being repeatedly smashed in the head with a steel beam. the other guy doesn't need to be included, it's best if not actually

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 12:31

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

i like this thread because gentle forums don't make history

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 12:40

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

the patriarchy ignores signs that a forklift is in use and walks under a descending pallet of WIC supplies

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 12:55

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

they'll do it themselves under their own tremendous bulk while consuming gamer fuel and playing military propaganda shooters

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 12:56

Pedantra: by Lowtax

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3ir9HC9vYg

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 12:58

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

when the patriarchy does a keg stand drop another keg on top of them

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 13:03

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

the patriarchy crawls into an empty gasoline tanker to huff the fumes and all the air could be sucked out of it

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 13:17

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

City of Glompton posted:

build the worlds largest can of Axe body spray, and when the patriarchy comes to marvel at it, use it like a rolling pin and smash em

I missed this excellent post that made me laugh

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 13:32

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

build an even huger statute of goliath and push it on top of the statute of david

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 13:36

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

the patriarchy is forced to get a job as a clown wrangler at a circus and an elephant sits on them

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 13:39

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

do not think it has escaped my notice that the golden calf thread, started by a man and is not as highly rated as this thread, has been stickied so it will always be above all others. it's ok tho, because soon that thread, which I love, and the mod responsible, will be put under giant pistons and pulverized

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 13:55

the unabonger

a really big hammer, like cartoonishly big, that says 1000 lbs on the side

# ? Aug 15, 2015 14:41

alnilam

give the patriarchy a comically oversized baseball glove and drop a grand piano from a skyscraper and they'll run around in circles trying to catch it with the glove as the piano's shadow gets bigger and bigger, the piano smashes them and their corpse has piano keys for teeth

# ? Aug 15, 2015 16:13

alnilam

pro wrestler hits them really hard with a v heavy folding chair

# ? Aug 15, 2015 16:15

cuntman.net

Qwerinty posted:

theoretically, you could shrink the patriarchy down to the size of a particle and put it in the large hadron collider and accelerate them to unbelievable speeds and smash it with the heteronormative particle. the resultant molecule scientifically proves men are just the worst

# ? Aug 15, 2015 16:43

FartGhost

Qwerinty posted:

the patriarchy invents teleportation to oppress people at an even faster rate. sneak a mosquito into their teleporter and then hit them with a flyswatter upon their exit

# ? Aug 15, 2015 17:04

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

alnilam posted:

give the patriarchy a comically oversized baseball glove and drop a grand piano from a skyscraper and they'll run around in circles trying to catch it with the glove as the piano's shadow gets bigger and bigger, the piano smashes them and their corpse has piano keys for teeth

haha

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 17:59

Lil Cunty

put the patriarchy in a picnic basket and leave it in jellystone park

ty crap

ty landy

# ? Aug 15, 2015 18:07

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

you could put the patriarchy in the girl box so they know how it feels for once then crush the box in a recycling compactor

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 18:42

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

send the patriarchy non-priority FedEx

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 18:44

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

they could lean over to see down a woman's shirt and she's standing at the edge of a building then steps aside so they tumble down and land head first and get up looking like an accordion

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# ? Aug 15, 2015 18:47