Gregory the Greater Knarloc's Great Quest - Dawn of War: Dark Crusade

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Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Imperial Guard

Lasers, british people, and silly tanks.

# ¿ Aug 15, 2015 07:11

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# ¿ May 23, 2024 11:26

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

I am a-okay with the Taus. Go plasma and railgun everything into oblivion.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2015 01:50

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Go for the Northlands!

We fall back only to regroup. The Greater Good must prosper.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2015 20:26

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Cythereal posted:

To be fair, ice burning Thule is not an achievement.

O'Kais is otherwise pretty dull in stronghold banter. He's polite, professional, and like his faction is dull as dishwater.

I think a character being polite or professional actually makes them stand out quite a bit in 40k.

# ¿ Aug 17, 2015 01:06

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

40k was also originally a joke that came about because players were complaining Fantasy was too 'grim and dark' and the writers had A: Read a shitload of 2000 AD comics and B: Were like 'Oh, you want Grim and Dark? We'll show you the silliest loving Grim Darkness ever'.

# ¿ Aug 17, 2015 21:28

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

GhostStalker posted:

There's that bit of fluff where they first encountered a Chaos warband and thought that they killed Slannesh when they shot the Chaos Champion leading the band. The Tau are naive as all hell, but that and their superior firepower makes me like them all the more. gently caress your Titans, we have Manta gunships.

The Tau are one of my favorite parts of 40k. It's a shame GW missed their own point with them and kept sliding more into 'No really they're just evil fascists like everyone else' instead of 'No, these are the guys who A: Haven't hosed up yet and B: Might gently caress up later.'

# ¿ Aug 17, 2015 21:54

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Godna posted:

I actually really liked Tau for being the naive race. They are still my favorite of the WH40k races and without them I'd have never really gotten into the setting.

They also gave the Imperium something unique to be afraid of. With a lot of the other foes, the Imperium's propaganda isn't that far from the truth (beyond underestimating them). With the Tau, at least originally, it absolutely was bullshit. The Tau were an ideological threat, a group of people who hadn't given up on everything yet. Reading about the Imperials freaking out about that was always fun.

# ¿ Aug 17, 2015 22:52

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Heaven Spacey posted:

I really want to like Tau but they don't feel properly fleshed out in the same sense as the other factions. They just seem kind of tacked on as an afterthought. It doesn't help that their aesthetics, which were my favorite part about them, especially the sleek, badass battlesuits got redesigned into weird ugly lumpy asymmetrical poo poo.

Actually did the same thing happen with IG? I'm kind of out of the loop but what's with these ugly-as-gently caress Tauroxes and ~Astra Militarum~ bullshit?

They decided to try to make the Guard's commandos into a separate army for some insane reason, then redesign their armor and give them the ugliest half tracks in existence.

# ¿ Aug 17, 2015 23:33

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

hard counter posted:

Not to mention give them edgy as hell backstories.

And they got rid of the old Kasrkin models, which were awesome. I liked the Kasrkin; they were basically just Space Navy SEALs/SAS/whatnot. Soldiers who'd done especially well in training and early operations selected for additional training and given more gear. That was all they needed.

# ¿ Aug 17, 2015 23:47

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

CommissarMega posted:

While the new stormtrooper fluff is moronic, I kind of like the British Commando look of the new models' heads, with the berets and everything. Pity the body armour looks like rear end.

The Sassy Berets are fine, it's the body armor and fluff that's awful.

But then, 40k's fluff is...well, what happens when something is written as a parody, becomes its own thing, and then is written primarily by fanboys the studio doesn't have to pay much because they'd give anything to write for WARHAMMER. It's basically fanfiction now.

# ¿ Aug 18, 2015 00:28

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Onmi posted:

Who are a necessary function for the Imperium

The main people who will tell you this, of course, are Inquisitors. Right before they gently caress everything up again with their bullshit.

# ¿ Aug 18, 2015 00:33

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

CommissarMega posted:

Honestly, I do think they are. You really do need someone with the stones to condemn a world to the flames when it's necessary. And yes, I meant that last part; for all that we talk about the =I= virus-bombing a world because they put milk in their tea, everything I've seen in the fluff indicates that Exterminatus really is the last resort. The threat of the Inquisition also serves to keep the Imperium's people both fearful and faithful.

The joke with the Imperium is that it's an insanely inefficient, self-destructive mess that is the inheritor of constant, abject failures and traumatized by a bunch of terrible things it will do anything to avoid having happen again, even as its actions ensure they will happen over and over on a smaller scale and while a bunch of its powerful people spout a lot of nonsense about how necessary it is that they maintain absolute power even as they strangle everything. Much like the joke of Chaos is that it's actually more rigid and authoritarian than the Imperium and even more demanding of 'purity'. These things are why the setting is funny. At least to me. As others have said, 40k is pretty much whatever you make of it and that's key to why it sticks around.

Speaking of logistically insane quagmires, we should attack the Hyperion Peaks

Night10194 fucked around with this message at 00:50 on Aug 18, 2015

# ¿ Aug 18, 2015 00:47

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Onmi posted:

Clarification: The Inquisition in its INITIAL conception under Malcador the Sigillite was a necessary evil of the Imperium.

Oh, yes. A lot of stuff in the Imperium has understandable roots; you need an intelligence service when you have cults of horrible monstrosity all about and/or want to be anything halfway functional. Much like the enormous segmenting of their forces comes from wanting to avoid the possibility of another Horus Heresy. All of it makes sense, or at least can be tracked back to a sensible source, it's just all still a terrible idea and/or has gone so far off the reservation in 10 millennia of inertia as to go absolutely counter to where it was intended to.

# ¿ Aug 18, 2015 00:59

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Iretep posted:

Considering how dumb youd have to be to join the Tau, it is pretty impressive that they have managed to get worlds to join them.

Free health care and rombas, man. Rombas with guns.

# ¿ Aug 18, 2015 21:25

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Tau rifles are the most powerful basic rifle in all of Warhammer. Like, literally no-one else does better. On the tabletop and in the RPGs, they do damage on par with Imperial squad support machine guns with longer range than anyone else's rifle and the potential to take out light vehicles from behind or the side sometimes. Their standard body armor is also just a step below power armor and on par with the elites of the Imperial Guard.

# ¿ Aug 19, 2015 18:06

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

my dad posted:

Hit the spaceport. We have enough honor guard to rapidly accomplish mission objectives. The time to strike is NOW.

This is an excellent plan that cannot end badly.

# ¿ Aug 19, 2015 22:41

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Pavonis!

# ¿ Aug 20, 2015 08:38

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

HerraS posted:

Actually the Emprah had nothing to do with the Men of Iron losing, one of the rare cases of humanity managing poo poo on it's own.

Well, obviously. After all, the humans actually beat the Men of Iron.

Big E's plans tend to result in disaster, rather than victory.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2015 14:46

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

CommissarMega posted:

Honestly, if the Eldar hadn't hosed up and spawned Slaanesh, I think the Big E would've continued staying in the background and nudging things here and there. It was only after everything went to poo poo that he decided to put on his big boy pants and try to fix everything himself.

Which ended so well. The other joke of the Imperium is how much it pines for the Great Man who will Fix Everything when basically every single one of those kinds of people in their history failed and made everything worse.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2015 15:43

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

MonsterEnvy posted:

Except for the ones that were cool and that they killed for being too cool. If a recall they once got a general that was so great people more or less thought him the best thing since the Emperor. So the inqusiton had him killed because no one should be that good or something like that.

Lord Solar Macharius.

He was Space Alexander the Space Great, they don't even try to hide it. Also, he killed the gently caress out of an advanced colony for defying him that probably contained a full STC and certainly contained secrets to interialess travel without the Warp, which would've saved all of humanity. Nice work, Alexander.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2015 15:51

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

my dad posted:

The Imperium is not the entirety of (non-chaos) humanity, though it does a good job of murdering all evidence of it. I mean, the lore isn't exactly subtle about the Imperium seeking out and destroying everyone and everything not-Imperium, including places that figured out how to defend themselves from the big nasties of the universe without going .

Basically, this. The Imperium does everything it can to convince people this is as good as it gets and everything needs to be this lovely, while systematically destroying any alternative it can. It didn't manage to destroy the Tau because they might be a regional power but effectively, so is nearly any Imperial force thanks to their own logistical troubles, and it can't destroy Chaos, which makes Chaos an unfortunately prevalent 'alternative'. Chaos also has the incredible honor of being one of the only options open for a human to join that is actually worse than the Imperium.

Night10194 fucked around with this message at 16:25 on Aug 20, 2015

# ¿ Aug 20, 2015 16:20

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

HerraS posted:

Sebastian Thor was a legitimately Good and Cool person who legitimately made things Better and Cooler for everyone.

I suppose he can't really be blamed for the Thorians who came after him, since they're really more of the usual 'Inquisition being idiots' song and dance.

Come to think of it, an awful lot of stories in 40k end with 'Decent person does decent thing, Inquisition swoops in to gently caress everything back up.'

# ¿ Aug 20, 2015 17:37

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Are we close to 2000 murders? I remember O'Kais with the Missile Pod and Plasma Rifle being a murder machine.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2015 17:46

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

The main problem with the Oldcrons was that we already have Tyranids. And Chaos Demons. And a bazillion other 'unthinking forces of total slaughter with no actual face or personality'.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2015 17:38

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Really, the big reason Tau work is because they bring in some contrast and the setting sorely needs it. It helps get across everyone else's crazy deal and helps make, say, the chainsaw swords look equal parts dumb and metal when someone shows up who doesn't play that way and legitimately stands out as a different approach.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2015 19:24

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Basically, anyone who wins naval superiority has already won in 40k, but they still prefer to hash it out with chainsaws.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2015 21:43

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

The Vosgian Beast posted:

FTFY

Which is a drat shame. I still have my Imperial Fleet and that game was a lot of fun. But as has come up in other threads, a game where you can get 6 Cruisers for 33 bucks and be set to play isn't something GW wants to sell.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2015 22:06

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Shas'O'Kais is his full name. There should also be an additional name in there for his home colony. It's Shas (Caste designation, fire caste), 'O (Hero/Colonel/Commander, rank designation), missing his colony designation, and then Kais (personal name).

So O'Kais is equivalent to calling him Commander Kais.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2015 22:35

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

EponymousMrYar posted:

Except when calling for Exterminatus the Inquisitor has to provide his full authorization code (in some form or another, Signet Rings are the usual backup in case of a post-mortem call) so the only accidental Exterminatus' are the 'wait what do you mean the problem solved itself oh crap now this world is going to die needlessly' sort.

One thing I'm not sure of that the Imperium also has over the Tau are Titan Legions. I don't think Tau can field anything that pound for pound matches a Titan. Anyone know if they do in fact have something that huge?

The Mechanicus outright refuse to field Titans against the Tau, claiming they're unworthy of fighting them.

The real reason is the last time they did this the Tau air force killed a bunch of Titans and they learned that if you send one of those pieces of crap against them, you don't get it back.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2015 23:53

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

The Tau always preferred Front Mission to Gundam.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2015 00:12

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Front Mission's mechs are 'only' like 10-15 feet tall and used much more like a Crisis Suit and are sort of 'just another weapon' alongside choppers, tanks, and infantry. As opposed to massive 30m robots in Gundam.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2015 00:15

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Delacroix posted:

Nine hundred and eighty nine pounds.

Jesus loving christ. How? Why? Who would BUY THAT?

# ¿ Aug 22, 2015 00:56

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

JMolen posted:

can we talk about the machine spirit and techpriest stuff? Just the various prayers and chants they made up for the machine cult. the Adeptus Mechanicus is basically my favorite part of 40K lore.

a lone techpriest lovingly cooing a chant to the machine he's working on
"With your strength you protect me, with my care i repair you, with the sacred oil I appease you"

it's the stupidest thing and I love it.

Also from what i remember isn't the machine spirit basically a less advanced more controled AI?

Sometimes. Sometimes it's just something the Techpriests use to explain how to do basic maintenance without actually having to teach people how anything works because if people figured it out, the Imperium are whackjobs who will probably drop the polite fiction that 'Oh yeah the Omnissiah is totally an aspect of the Emperor' and kill all the techpriests for being different. Niche protection is very important when you're working with genocidal psychopaths.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2015 05:20

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

In general, the Mechanicus has some idea of just how much has been lost, and they also know stuff like AI is partly responsible for why they lost it, so they're basically in a position where they know they need to put everything back together again but they also know at some point people a lot like them hosed up really badly and everything exploded, but they don't know exactly how or why and they don't want to have that happen again, so they tend to be cautious and conservative.

Except for PC Explorators in Rogue Trader the RPG, who are uniformly the kind of person who would inject THE OMEGA SERUM into their own bodies while screaming there's no time for testing and riding a rocket off a cliff.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2015 05:37

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Veloxyll posted:

Rogue Trader Genators would be first in line to behead themselves to put on the Head of Vecna.

Well, yeah, they had 2 anyway.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2015 06:15

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

I would play the poo poo out of a DoW2 style game about the Sisters or the Kasrkin. Or the Tau.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2015 16:44

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Sisters Seraphim are the coolest loving thing ever. Gunslinging john woo jetpack paladins.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2015 17:51

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

INTJ Mastermind posted:

Has anyone figured out that standing all your guys shoulder to shoulder out in the open so they have to shoot past each other's heads is not the best strategem? Or is proper combat spacing and firing from cover just not grim dark enough?

No-one in 40k has figured out they aren't fighting in the Napoleonic era, really.

Except Tau.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2015 17:57

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Bolters were made because they had no idea where the organs would be on anything they might encounter in the Great Crusade and figured 'You know if we just blow off huge chunks of the enemy's body it won't really matter'.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2015 18:12

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# ¿ May 23, 2024 11:26

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Newcrons just use the Webway, which is boring.

# ¿ Aug 23, 2015 01:35

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Gregory the Greater Knarloc's Great Quest - Dawn of War: Dark Crusade

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