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Update: This thread is also about astute reasoning. The space-time contiuum demands a new monstrosity. Strictly no erotic fan-fiction is allowed to be posted. And try to obey the temporal prime directive this time. By which I mean lets not talk about TOS.  
shadow puppet of a fucked around with this message at 14:49 on Sep 22, 2015 |
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Aug 23, 2015 02:20
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Nefarious posted:how about that tos God drat it you!
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Aug 23, 2015 02:27
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The stuff of real estate agent nightmares.
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Aug 23, 2015 02:33
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In here Parrises squares is played 5 on 5 with a strict cap on the number of Bolians per team.
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Aug 23, 2015 02:38
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He tried his best to follow the teachings of Greus, the Cardassian Jesus.
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Aug 23, 2015 02:58
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Wasn't it the Bolians that were serial toilet cloggers?
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Aug 23, 2015 04:20
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Update: This thread is also about sexy San Francisco Dukat. 
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Aug 23, 2015 06:03
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Ambrose Burnside posted:romulans and vulcans are the same species and the vulcans are just in weird denial about things Romulans and Vulcans are what would have resulted here on earth if the Campaign for Real Ale went on any longer than it did.
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Aug 24, 2015 01:18
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I'd like to see a fanmade production of the Voyager crew attending a sumo basho upon their return home, that sport half the bridge crew followed passionately, remember? You could have Tuvok trying to buy handprints in the Vulcan live long and prosper gesture, Janeway, the eternal scientist, illicitly scanning her favorites with a tricorder to update her personal logs on their body fat composition. Chakotay missing the whole thing while out on his vision quest to buy a pinku bento box for his gohan (rice) and peyote (yakuza speed) Ah yes, that was no mere throwaway vignette desperate to staple some personality onto a profoundly unpersonable crew, big fans of sumo wrestling the crew of Voyager all were.
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Aug 25, 2015 03:01
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Kitchner posted:I think we can a agree that the best non cannon star trek production is unironicslly that advert Riker did for networking software back in the early 90s/late 80s If we are throwing out nominations, then Sally Layd as Dr. Beaverly Gusher and TT Boy as a rappin' Commander Will Diker in Sex Trek 5: Deep Space Sex, should not be overlooked. Its regarded as the DS9 of Trek porn for a reason.
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Aug 25, 2015 08:46
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In my expanded universe works Neelix and Ch'Rega's sex tape made them the Kim K and Ray J of the Delta quadrant. With Neelix, as both the receptive partner and more fashion-forward one, as the Kim K.
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Aug 25, 2015 18:29
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Tujague posted:We could write a good script about people who have poo poo jobs like that and throw on some DS9-style critique of the Federation and some "Why is O'Brien the only enlisted man in the Federation?" crap and it would be better than these silly, overwrought fanmades.  I would watch the poo poo out of Star Trek: These Guys. Imagine being lower than O'Brien on the totem pole. Working for Aldebaran Staffing Solutions Inc. on a 9 month contract of barrel-hoisting in an era when robotics would make a trillion times more sense and keeping out the sneaking suspicion that you are being kept around only as an organ donor for darling son Commanders and Lt. Commanders.
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Aug 25, 2015 18:58
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 Star Trek: These Guys episode 2 is about not having access to the same medical facilities as federation citizens and watching Dr. Crusher fawn over the needless holodeck injuries of the crews complement of fake gymnasts and kayakers. Dr. Bev tosses the These Guys a handful of mixed, loose moldy pills for their searing back pain and shorn vertebrae and acts like she is doing them a favor, while really she's just scouting the These Guys for a trade for some fancy flower seeds with that reckless spine transplant doctor. shadow puppet of a fucked around with this message at 19:25 on Aug 25, 2015 |
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Aug 25, 2015 19:21
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Farmer Crack-rear end posted:As a comedy I guess the concept is passable (yeah, that's right, I didn't care for Red Dwarf. deal w/ it) but honestly if you want a show about janitors you don't need to spend a million dollars to put it in space. Got lots of janitors down here on Earth. You don't need to spend a million dollars to put a show about the captain of a vessel and their crew in space either. You are off the production committee Farmer Crack-rear end, you'll never get to shoehorn your talentless kids into cherry SAG speaking roles.
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Aug 25, 2015 19:48
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The General posted:It shits allover his character. Then they force him to roll in it till the series ends.
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Aug 25, 2015 20:44
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Given the number of missions that involve emergency transporter rescues, shouldn't the enterprise D have moved Picard's office to 40 feet down the hall and put in a bank of transporters in its place, so you'd not have to rely on your comm badge reaching O'Brien down in his pit to get the message and time it right? Wouldn't it help him to see a loving view screen of that which he needs to target for transport? Oh wait, Livingston wanted something with a view. Captain's privilege I guess.
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Aug 25, 2015 20:48
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All I know is that the Enterprise functions as a rescue ship 25% of the time and the bridge explicitly excludes the person that operates the greatest emergency rescue device ever invented. "Number one, please ensure I never hear a shred of advice or input from that glorified elevator operator prior to me directly asking for it" LCARS, for all its contextual wonderment seems to be unable to replicate the two finger uppie slidey gesture on any other surface. Ah well. I guess I just enjoy being annoyed by Trek continuity. Worf: "Captian, the Dyson sphere is made of carbon neutronium, our weapons would be totally ineffective!" <exits sphere> Well, lets not bother carving out a few pieces to wrap around Ten Forward or anything. Nope, lets never mention this magical, space-proven, constructable, corrosion resistant, plentiful, incredibly strong, sensor-proof and capable of crushing the hull of a starship material ever again.
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Aug 25, 2015 21:42
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Tujague posted:getting booted off the holodeck by Data in a Sherlock Holmes outfit "Oh great, the sole functional holodeck is now an irish village, permanently, because our captain cant come out and admit that she finally wants to gently caress a hologram" "Oh great, nobody gets to be promoted into the role of Morale Officer now that Shitnix is gone because addressing the promotion issue again would force Madam Captian to explain to Harry why he didn't get the job"
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Aug 25, 2015 23:40
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chaosbreather posted:how exactly would you suggest 'carving out a chunk'?  chaosbreather posted:The Defiant has it right, it uses ablative armour, which means it's easier to destroy than the ship is. The destruction of the armour uses so much energy than a minimum is transferred to the hull. A stronger material would just channels and focus the blast energy, making the ship far easier to destroy. Ah yes ablative armor. Just the thing for a deep space mission, armor that needs to be continually replenished through extra vehicular activity. They should have detached the saucer section and stuck the warp-drivey part on the back of the sphere and tootled around the galaxy as a giant hamster ball, using the main gate as a gun barrel to unleash some hot death from that sun bouncing around the flying dyson sphere.
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Aug 26, 2015 00:50
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When two old geezers stirred up a pail of blood scrapings and jizz to remake Kahless and it produced a weak old runt with the voice of a pack a day smoker, and the Empire still accepted him as a living god, well thats when Worf should have seen the light and walked away from the whole mess and got really into Nausicaan culture. Its all on him.
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Aug 26, 2015 01:23
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Why was young Keiko played by a brown haired Mexican girl? Oh god she's having coffee with O'Brien. "I dont know but this feels wrong... somehow..."
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Aug 26, 2015 02:08
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MikeJF posted:If I recall the nerd tech explanations right, Defiant's ablative armour was designed so it was continuously reapplied via replication/transportation/space magic as it was blasted off. Thank god the Defiant first solved the "systems go down when under fire" problem that plagued every single star ship from every single race.
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Aug 26, 2015 02:16
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Delsaber posted:everything in Trek has crazy accurate targeting computers
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Aug 26, 2015 02:55
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Without a cohesive mass media (Neelix's TV show was a revelation to them) how do they get enough space-southerners to sign up under delusions of fighting for glory and country, especially when there is no country to fight for and no anthems to weep patriotically over? "Hey kid, do you want to die from plasma burns while hoisting barrels in a warehouse while being bombarded from a million miles away in order to kill your fellow humans so you can protect the trade rights and treaty agreements made to an oppressive Cardassian regime of hideous aliens that hate you on a genetic level? You do? Then walk past those banks of free transporters to anywhere, free universities, free restaurants, free thrilling sports from across the galaxy and walk past those bacchanalian rows upon rows of sexual delights contained in the free holodecks, and join up as an enlisted man in Starfleet!"
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Aug 26, 2015 05:31
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TEAYCHES posted:and yea if if somehow people werent full of implants and directly interfaced w/ the ship you still wouldnt ever need more than a dozen people on the ship, everything can be automatic. star trek is not to be seriously thought about as anything other than a half-thought out backdrop to stories of ethics and character "Ensign X to Lt. Y. Hey come here, I need you to see this. No, don't transport over, walk across the ship. No I wont tell you anything about the yet-unknown incident/object/person I need you to see that would inform your choice of transit to my location. Just arrive and be ready to be surprised by the exposition I'll deliver after the commercial. What is a commercial you ask? Its complicated. Maybe ask Neelix on your way over. Its no rush. I've got time. Maybe. Who knows"
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Aug 26, 2015 05:41
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He had that signal Noonien sent out and turned data into a home-seeking ship-rustler from half a quadrant away.
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Aug 26, 2015 07:32
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Powered Descent posted:This was like two pages ago and I can't believe no one has called you on it yet.
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Aug 26, 2015 08:04
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Kenzie posted:But electronic warfare and sensor/transport scrambling and whatnot happens all the time in Star Trek. It's how the Bajorans managed to survive the Cardassians for 50 years.
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Aug 26, 2015 13:09
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The Shelliak had none of their poo poo and told them to GFTO. Darmok-ians had their way with them and would only deal on their terms. The Borg beat them from pillar to post. The Romulans use the Feds line in the sand stances against them all the time. The federation is weak. Just having the most lunch money to pay off a host of bullies does not lessen your victimhood.
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Aug 26, 2015 21:41
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Entropic posted:I can't tell if the Cardassian uniforms are supposed to be rubber or not. I used to think they were metal when I was a kid, but in a bunch of episodes you can see them bend like rubber and it doesn't seem like they're trying to hide it. They are made of the hides of dead founders.
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Aug 27, 2015 21:01
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Entropic posted:Does Conservation of Momentum apply with Star Trek transporters? It seems like it must not because otherwise when you beamed someone up from a planet they'd smear across the wall. But then there's that episode where Ezri makes a magic rifle that transports moving bullets, so And the feeling of being inside the wall when transported at high warp. So the answer is, yes, when they need it to and not when ever they don't specify it does. Also when they transported fake Tal Shiar Troi off that Romulan ship she beamed in facing sideways, a series first. This never happened again in any other episode.
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Aug 27, 2015 21:15
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The male Klingon uniforms should have have had that little booby cut-out just like Lursa and B'etor's did. A machismo portal to Klingon chest hair yes, but also a sort of "stab here here if you can, fucker" for all their knife fighting.
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Aug 28, 2015 10:52
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EvilTaytoMan posted:I wonder if there was a holodeck programme that was their equivalent to an MMO? Like playing with people from different ships/nearby bases within a few lightyears of eachother. I guess it would depend on how subspace communication works exactly. They all play Wold of Borg and not one of them appreciate the irony.
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Aug 28, 2015 19:38
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Delsaber posted:Geordi is just feigning horror. In his head he's taking notes. Geordie can smell a pilfered inept seduction-tolerance algorithm from across the neutral zone.
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Aug 28, 2015 21:33
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Amazon Studios is developing a TV show based on Galaxy Quest So clearly people capable of market research in 2015 know that there is a market for nostaligic episodic SciFi ships n' spacesuits TV. Fuckin' Paramount and their teletype machines and mimeographs don't have a clue what people want and are going to put out something soft boiled by around 2042. Probably "Captain Worf's Grandson, Ensign Mogh Brought To you By Norinco Diet Cola Flavor Clean Water Brands with 50% Less Lead"
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Aug 29, 2015 02:26
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When the wig department is offended by the re-gifted gift basket you left for them with the old name card still attached. You get to wear the Curly Muskrat for a few episodes. shadow puppet of a fucked around with this message at 09:48 on Aug 29, 2015 |
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Aug 29, 2015 09:33
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Aug 29, 2015 10:08
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Kahless channeling Ryback in that "We are Klingons!" chant was one of the cringeyest moments outside of Geordie romance subplots.
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Aug 29, 2015 12:22
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Blazing Ownager posted:The brief HBO lintro does make me want an R rated, highly serialized sci-fi show. Come on HBO, make something. Either way, I don't think its coming. Game of Thrones is an old property by now and we'd be right in the middle of a glut of shows pitched as "Game of Thrones in Space" and "Game of Thrones with Robots" and "Game of Thrones after the Singularity" type crap if there was ever a chance.
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Aug 30, 2015 19:56
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Thats a good English dick so it knows to always obey the Mull of Kintyre test.
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Aug 30, 2015 20:21
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