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it literally read like a siren |
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Sep 2, 2015 03:42
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lol
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Sep 2, 2015 03:43
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alfred needs help with a rewrite |
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Sep 2, 2015 03:44
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ChairmanMeow posted:it literally read like a siren |
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Sep 2, 2015 04:03
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fema crisis actor posted:To Whom it May Concern in Regards to Environmental Impact Decisions within the Starbucks Corporation: |
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Sep 2, 2015 04:08
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Dear Dogcrash: I accept the fact that I had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in probation for whatever it was I did wrong, but you're crazy to make me write an essay telling you who I think I am. You see me as you want to see me - In the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. But what I found out is that each one of us is a lurker...and an ik...and depressed ...and a teenager ...and we're all gay. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, Piso Mojado |
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Sep 2, 2015 04:14
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dear peeps: WHUT UP |
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Sep 2, 2015 04:27
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Luvcow posted:
g..g..g..ghoost? *shivers* To Whom It May Concern, September is by far the spookiest month of the year. What's scary in movies, the monster you see, or the monster you don't see? It's the one you don't see that frightens you the most. That's what classic filmmakers like Hitchcock and Kubrick knew and exploited to make some of the greatest movies of all time. The same applies to September, the month leading up to the all-around horrorfest of October, the most blatant and quite frankly less scary of the months for it. These mentions of ghosts and skeletons in September though? You'll create a riot of fright among your peers. I hope you reconsider your position here and stop making us dread we'll get into line at the Supermarket in front of a skeleton or get haunted by a vicious ghost while jumping our cars. Keep September Safe even if you can't keep it from being spooky is what my father always said. Thank you for your time, SecurityDrone |
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Sep 2, 2015 04:28
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alfred is the ghost IK for September|
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That Robot posted:dear peeps: oh holy poo poo its that robot... |
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Sep 2, 2015 04:28
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oh good, i'm not the only person who alfred wrote the PM version of a weird groan at. |
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Sep 2, 2015 05:06
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Dear basketball manufacturers, Make it rounder, you know what the gently caress I'm talking about. ---------------- |
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Sep 2, 2015 05:22
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I dont
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Sep 2, 2015 05:41
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Dear Alcohol, why are you outside my mouth. go home. to my mouth. where you live. say what up to my teeth on the way, those dudes know where the partys at ---------------- |
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Sep 2, 2015 05:50
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joke_explainer posted:g..g..g..ghoost? *shivers* Spoopy September |
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Sep 2, 2015 06:47
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Lil Cunty posted:I dont You know, they got them computers and that mathematics with the equations, got the compass to draw a circle, a perfect circle, cad, pi, Greco roman, calculus, calipers, bleepity boop make the ball go round? ---------------- |
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Sep 2, 2015 07:06
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Piso Mojado posted:Dear Dogcrash:
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Sep 2, 2015 12:55
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Dear Master Puppet Theater Troupe of Lawrenceville, For many years, your puppet performances delighted me and my grandchildren. However, ever since your establishment took on new management, your acts have incorporated subject matter that I consider to be highly inappropriate. For example, in your latest act titled "Enclavée en Tissu Sexuelle," a sexually-frustrated puppet explores his erotic fantasies with his puppet mother, then his puppet dog, then kills himself with a handgun. Not only was it mortifying to expose my grandchildren to this narrative, but the usage of a live gun in the finale was incredibly dangerous. I urge you to restore the family-friendly atmosphere I remember from my youth, or I shall not provide patronage to your work any longer. Sincerely, FutonForensic
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Sep 2, 2015 15:03
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Attn: Sleep In the past, we had a close relationship, perhaps unhealthily so. In fact, you intruded on my calculus lectures with distressing regularity, made driving extremely dangerous, lead to me dropping out of school entirely, among other things. You also drop by completely unexpectedly and unwanted during the day when I'm busy. However, it is 6:18 am MDT, the alarm just went off, and you didn't show your face once all night, despite my doses of drowsiness-causing medications meant to summon you. I am extremely upset by this. Yesterday you only showed up around five am for three hours. Today, I don't have time to come home and nap. I'm a busy woman with things to do. You have one (1) more strike. If you persist in denying me my rest, I will seek stronger chemical sleep aids, perhaps that new one with the cat commercial. Regards, meteloides |
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Sep 3, 2015 13:25
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Dear Comcast, Stop. Stop loving calling me. I don't want your landline phone service. I don't care if for whatever reason you bundle it with faster internet and more channels. I'm not getting your god drat landline. Stop pushing it on me. If I make any changes to your service, it's going to be cancelling the cable I use literally once a week to watch wrestling. Wrestling isn't even good I only watch it out of habit. Leave me alone!!! Get hosed, Julio |
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Sep 3, 2015 22:41
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Dear WWE, Why have you not used the far superior RaceFat/dotflist intro songs for John Cena and others. I only watch wrestling anymore out of habit and this would make it MUCH more enjoyable. Looking forward to this weekend if Comcast will stop calling me, Julio |
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Sep 3, 2015 22:51
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Dear St. Louis County Municipal Traffic Court, Though I am flattered, if not honored, by your invitation to discuss the outstanding balance of $45 I currently owe your respective parking authority, I'm afraid I must decline. An entity as charitable and well respected as yours should understand that, as a simple working man, I have prior conflicts during the allotted time you have graciously suggested on the ticket. I understand and appreciate the effort you must go thru to staff the prestigious city court halls from the hours of 9:30am - 10:30am on Tuesday, so it's with a heavy heart that I will not be able to clear up the issue of my perceived parking neglegence on 8/1 in person. You see, though parking is generally prohibited on the historic Chesterfield Pkwy, I was given explicit permission by the local police to park there while helping staff the local "Summer Days" festival in the adjacent Tilles Park. I understand the confusion, as there were nearly 20 vehicles with clearly displayed "EVENT STAFF" stickers all parked there and after comparing tickets with other staffers, it's quite obvious that the loyal public servant Officer Dawson must not have noticed them, mostly likely due to the fact that her head was firmly stuck in her rear end. Had I been able to discus this in person with her I'm sure we could have come to a mutual understanding, and the physical meeting with the honorable Judge Al Bratberg would no longer be necessary. Unfortunately, this is not the case, and I am now stuck with the dumbest loving ticket in Greater St. Louis area history. Again, I apologize on the late notice, and I hope you know it's with the deepest possible sincerity when I say, go gently caress yourselves in your loving stupid faces. Thank You and I hope you all rot in hell, Piso |
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Sep 3, 2015 23:37
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tao of lmao posted:Dear Comcast, Dear Julio, Thank you for contacting Comcast Customer Support! Here at Comcast, we value all our customers' opinions and take criticism very seriously in an effort to improve all customer service functions of the company. Regarding your complaint of STOP FUVKING CALLING ME we believe the customer service representative assigned to your case, Barnaby C. Squid, did not take all the recommended steps necessary to resolve your complaint. As an apology for this microaggression, Comcast is pleased to offer you a BUNDLED LANDLINE PHONE SERVICE for only $19.99 per month, with the first two months free upon two-year satellite VOIP phone subscription! VOIP is the latest in phone technology that Comcast is pleased to bring you. Please see the attached insert regarding your new LANDLINE PHONE SERVICE, which will begin a new billing cycle on September 4th, 2015. Regards, Comcast Support
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Sep 4, 2015 15:01
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 comcast!!!!
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Sep 4, 2015 21:04
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railroad terror posted:Dear Julio, lol ---------------- |
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Sep 5, 2015 00:30
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| # ? May 6, 2024 16:53 |
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railroad terror posted:Dear Julio,
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Sep 5, 2015 01:58
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