FARTHOUSE 5: - sounds funny but ultimately you just shit your pants

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > FARTHOUSE 5: - sounds funny but ultimately you just shit your pants

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Amy Pole Her: Jun 17, 2002

Toaster Beef posted:

I'm also going to really dig in on getting the old comics back and uploaded onto FART. I know I said I was before, but, y'know, life. No idea how quickly/slowly the process might go, but it's absolutely a thing on my to-do list for getting poo poo rolling again.

Missed you buddy hope everything is going well

# ? Sep 8, 2015 23:21

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 25, 2024 23:57

Grittybeard: Mar 29, 2010; Bad, very bad!

Chromatic posted:

It seemed like at lot of work. Wasn't there a ton of analysis and a lot of knowledge on fringe players involved?

Also, I assumed it was like WYTS, and I'm not witty, charming, or funny enough to pull off something like that.

Some people went all out with funny stuff or really involved breakdowns of things, I'm pretty sure I just went over stuff you'd know if you were a Chiefs fan but probably wouldn't otherwise unless you're super into football. I'm sure it's not funny but I wrote it while drinking to celebrate real (college) football again so I'm sure I attempted some jokes.

Like I'm said I'm sort of scared to read it again so we'll find out together and I hope Febreeze is free with the edits.

# ? Sep 9, 2015 00:49

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Toaster Beef posted:

fyi, i miss you silly bastards and expect to be getting back into comic-making form sometime in the near future

HE IS RISEN

# ? Sep 9, 2015 00:54

JPrime: Jul 4, 2007; tales of derring-do, bad ~~and good~~ luck tales!; College Slice

Toaster Beef posted:

fyi, i miss you silly bastards and expect to be getting back into comic-making form sometime in the near future

omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg squee

# ? Sep 9, 2015 01:13

Fenrir: Apr 26, 2005; I found my kendo stick, bitch!; Lipstick Apathy

Toaster Beef posted:

fyi, i miss you silly bastards and expect to be getting back into comic-making form sometime in the near future

Yesssss

# ? Sep 9, 2015 01:39

GonadTheBallbarian: Jul 23, 2007

Dunno if I somehow missed this getting mentioned in the last thread, but which one of you fuckers works for WaPo?

# ? Sep 9, 2015 03:57

Beer4TheBeerGod: Aug 23, 2004; Exciting Lemon

Febreeze posted:

By the way, Cruel and Unusual's Lions post just went up
http://uproxx.com/sports/2015/09/detroit-lions-season-preview-2015/

Weekly Font's Jets went up, and his write up was great everyone should read it
http://uproxx.com/sports/2015/09/new-york-jets-2015-season-preview/

Also Bort Bortles and the Jags went up too
http://uproxx.com/sports/2015/09/jacksonville-jaguars-2015-season-preview/

Zen Vulgarity's Bucs post as well
http://uproxx.com/sports/2015/09/tampa-bay-buccaneers-2015-season-preview/

Currently putting together the Patriots, Chargers, Browns and Chiefs, which are the last teams I have write ups for.

Did I miss you posting Washington's? Although I guess it's already out of date.

# ? Sep 9, 2015 05:44

nrr: Jan 2, 2007

im too drank right now to respond with anything but WTF FEBREEZE?!

ok no wait ill rally gently caress you...

1. YOU loving NAME THE NEW THREAD AFTER A CRAZY68WHATEVER POST THAT IS A DIRECT RIPOFF OF A 2 YEAR OLD JOKE I MADE ABOUT HIM?!

2. that motherfuckers my posting nemesis, do you not remember this?

3. except hes got a lot better since I started giving him poo poo for being poo poo and he actually defended me recently in something stupid I think which means that hes actually kindof cool now and im out of line and more importantly I have no grounds to even be remotely pissed off in the slightest _{_{the end}}

4. BUT DO YOU THINK THATS EVER STOPPED ME BEFORE?>!

5. so this is the point where I give actual evidence that everyone either 'handwaves away' or acts like im a fuckin rear end in a top hat which would be pretty much be about as accurate as nick foles circa 2013... and then about as useful as nick foles circa 2014:

6. (or more like 5a or 5.1 or whatever idk) https://soundcloud.com/user237822301/sets/lol-he-thinks-ldt-is-white

6.1 aka 5b/5.2 (ugh this is getting co,mp[licated, what dumbass gave me a keyboard instead of more whisky)

I got the joke you loving halfwit
Get out of the Farthouse you're ruining it
Check your pants cos when you try to Fart you just poo poo
TBeef I love you, all is Groovy

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse* > FARTHOUSE 5: - I stole nrr's playbook and commissioner Febreeze barely even sentenced me to a perfect(ly balanced) season

# ? Sep 9, 2015 11:44

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Toaster Beef posted:

I'm also going to really dig in on getting the old comics back and uploaded onto FART. I know I said I was before, but, y'know, life. No idea how quickly/slowly the process might go, but it's absolutely a thing on my to-do list for getting poo poo rolling again.

Glad to have you back soon, my man.

BTW - I was thinking about making a custom page for TMM comics on FART to make them easy to browse. Maybe something with little widgets that show a thumbnail, date, and title of the comic in a grid. One thing I noticed on google analytics is that no one reads just one TMM. They always want to see more :unsmith:

nrr posted:

im too drank right now to respond with anything but WTF FEBREEZE?!

ok no wait ill rally gently caress you...

1. YOU loving NAME THE NEW THREAD AFTER A CRAZY68WHATEVER POST THAT IS A DIRECT RIPOFF OF A 2 YEAR OLD JOKE I MADE ABOUT HIM?!

2. that motherfuckers my posting nemesis, do you not remember this?

3. except hes got a lot better since I started giving him poo poo for being poo poo and he actually defended me recently in something stupid I think which means that hes actually kindof cool now and im out of line and more importantly I have no grounds to even be remotely pissed off in the slightest _{_{the end}}

4. BUT DO YOU THINK THATS EVER STOPPED ME BEFORE?>!

5. so this is the point where I give actual evidence that everyone either 'handwaves away' or acts like im a fuckin rear end in a top hat which would be pretty much be about as accurate as nick foles circa 2013... and then about as useful as nick foles circa 2014:

6. (or more like 5a or 5.1 or whatever idk) https://soundcloud.com/user237822301/sets/lol-he-thinks-ldt-is-white

6.1 aka 5b/5.2 (ugh this is getting co,mp[licated, what dumbass gave me a keyboard instead of more whisky)

I got the joke you loving halfwit
Get out of the Farthouse you're ruining it
Check your pants cos when you try to Fart you just poo poo
TBeef I love you, all is Groovy

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse* > FARTHOUSE 5: - I stole nrr's playbook and commissioner Febreeze barely even sentenced me to a perfect(ly balanced) season

lol

# ? Sep 9, 2015 13:12

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

nrr posted:

im too drank right now to respond with anything but WTF FEBREEZE?!

ok no wait ill rally gently caress you...

1. YOU loving NAME THE NEW THREAD AFTER A CRAZY68WHATEVER POST THAT IS A DIRECT RIPOFF OF A 2 YEAR OLD JOKE I MADE ABOUT HIM?!

2. that motherfuckers my posting nemesis, do you not remember this?

3. except hes got a lot better since I started giving him poo poo for being poo poo and he actually defended me recently in something stupid I think which means that hes actually kindof cool now and im out of line and more importantly I have no grounds to even be remotely pissed off in the slightest _{_{the end}}

4. BUT DO YOU THINK THATS EVER STOPPED ME BEFORE?>!

5. so this is the point where I give actual evidence that everyone either 'handwaves away' or acts like im a fuckin rear end in a top hat which would be pretty much be about as accurate as nick foles circa 2013... and then about as useful as nick foles circa 2014:

6. (or more like 5a or 5.1 or whatever idk) https://soundcloud.com/user237822301/sets/lol-he-thinks-ldt-is-white

6.1 aka 5b/5.2 (ugh this is getting co,mp[licated, what dumbass gave me a keyboard instead of more whisky)

I got the joke you loving halfwit
Get out of the Farthouse you're ruining it
Check your pants cos when you try to Fart you just poo poo
TBeef I love you, all is Groovy

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse* > FARTHOUSE 5: - I stole nrr's playbook and commissioner Febreeze barely even sentenced me to a perfect(ly balanced) season

nrr with an early lead for Post of the Year.

# ? Sep 9, 2015 14:19

CzarStark: Dec 23, 2007; by R. Guyovich

Crossposting from The SMARThouse:

CzarStark posted:

I have a new post up on FART! This one looks at how much QBs and defenses should win based on how they perform and compares that to how much they actually win and the performance of a QB and defense from the same team. Again, I had a lot of fun making this one, and there are some surprising results in here (to me at least).

# ? Sep 9, 2015 14:20

Chilichimp: Oct 24, 2006; TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp; Grimey Drawer

nrr posted:

im too drank right now to respond with anything but WTF FEBREEZE?!

ok no wait ill rally gently caress you...

1. YOU loving NAME THE NEW THREAD AFTER A CRAZY68WHATEVER POST THAT IS A DIRECT RIPOFF OF A 2 YEAR OLD JOKE I MADE ABOUT HIM?!

2. that motherfuckers my posting nemesis, do you not remember this?

3. except hes got a lot better since I started giving him poo poo for being poo poo and he actually defended me recently in something stupid I think which means that hes actually kindof cool now and im out of line and more importantly I have no grounds to even be remotely pissed off in the slightest _{_{the end}}

4. BUT DO YOU THINK THATS EVER STOPPED ME BEFORE?>!

5. so this is the point where I give actual evidence that everyone either 'handwaves away' or acts like im a fuckin rear end in a top hat which would be pretty much be about as accurate as nick foles circa 2013... and then about as useful as nick foles circa 2014:

6. (or more like 5a or 5.1 or whatever idk) https://soundcloud.com/user237822301/sets/lol-he-thinks-ldt-is-white

6.1 aka 5b/5.2 (ugh this is getting co,mp[licated, what dumbass gave me a keyboard instead of more whisky)

I got the joke you loving halfwit
Get out of the Farthouse you're ruining it
Check your pants cos when you try to Fart you just poo poo
TBeef I love you, all is Groovy

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse* > FARTHOUSE 5: - I stole nrr's playbook and commissioner Febreeze barely even sentenced me to a perfect(ly balanced) season

# ? Sep 9, 2015 14:45

Toaster Beef: Jan 23, 2007; that's not nature's way

Ehud posted:

Glad to have you back soon, my man.

BTW - I was thinking about making a custom page for TMM comics on FART to make them easy to browse. Maybe something with little widgets that show a thumbnail, date, and title of the comic in a grid. One thing I noticed on google analytics is that no one reads just one TMM. They always want to see more

That'd be fantastic, and if there's any way I can make that easier to set up for you in file naming or dating, just let me know.

In a few minutes I'm going to start uploading all of the old site's comics (118 in all, maybe 120-ish after random bits get thrown in). I'll backdate them so they hopefully don't flood the main page, but if there's anything you want me to do just shoot me a PM or let me know here or send a carrier pigeon or whatever

# ? Sep 9, 2015 14:45

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Toaster Beef posted:

That'd be fantastic, and if there's any way I can make that easier to set up for you in file naming or dating, just let me know.

In a few minutes I'm going to start uploading all of the old site's comics (118 in all, maybe 120-ish after random bits get thrown in). I'll backdate them so they hopefully don't flood the main page, but if there's anything you want me to do just shoot me a PM or let me know here or send a carrier pigeon or whatever

Yeah, if you just go through the normal posting process and if you back-date them you should be good to go since the widgets display posts based on date.. I'll see if I can work on that custom page tonight or tomorrow.

Thanks dude!

# ? Sep 9, 2015 14:53

Amy Pole Her: Jun 17, 2002

First - wow. The PM to accompany that post... Legendary. I woke up this morning and read it, simply confused. Nrr you are a diamond amongst glass.

Second - I'm unironically posting hearts on TMMs Facebook updates because I'm excited to have him back

# ? Sep 9, 2015 15:11

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

That nrr post is performance fart

# ? Sep 9, 2015 15:24

GonadTheBallbarian: Jul 23, 2007

the image for the FART link share on FB is shirtless Chip

# ? Sep 9, 2015 15:33

Toaster Beef: Jan 23, 2007; that's not nature's way

WugLyfe posted:

the image for the FART link share on FB is shirtless Chip

I scrolled through a few of the options FB gave me for that post, and was helpless to choose anything else once I saw it

Edit: It takes around a minute, maybe a minute and ten seconds (I timed it because I was curious) to post one of the old comics, so there's a chance I'll be done uploading all of the old ones before this afternoon. You can already browse the ones that are up by checking out the 'Old TMM' tag.

http://www.footballandrationalthoughts.com/tag/old-tmm/

Toaster Beef fucked around with this message at 15:38 on Sep 9, 2015

# ? Sep 9, 2015 15:36

GonadTheBallbarian: Jul 23, 2007

The poo poo I put on my image search history for you people.

# ? Sep 9, 2015 15:39

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Jack Kirby did some sweet rear end art for the NFL's official Pro Magazine back in the 1970's.

So have some motherfucking Kirby art:

# ? Sep 9, 2015 15:51

Volkerball: Oct 15, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

AAA DOLFAN posted:

First - wow. The PM to accompany that post... Legendary.

Well post it you fucker.

# ? Sep 9, 2015 15:52

Joey Freshwater: Jun 20, 2004; Always playing with my meat; Grimey Drawer

Kalli posted:

Jack Kirby did some sweet rear end art for the NFL's official Pro Magazine back in the 1970's.

So have some motherfucking Kirby art:

Okay I'll give you the last one because it's obviously a Giants player and the third because it's a...browns? player but how are those other ones supposed to be football?

e: now I see the 'football' in the first one

AAA DOLFAN posted:

First - wow. The PM to accompany that post... Legendary.

Joey Freshwater fucked around with this message at 16:32 on Sep 9, 2015

# ? Sep 9, 2015 16:30

Amy Pole Her: Jun 17, 2002

If he says it's ok I will. I seriously cracked up at 7:30 this morning reading it.

It felt like I was shown the FARTHOUSE handshake.

# ? Sep 9, 2015 16:36

evilweasel: Aug 24, 2002

Toaster Beef posted:

I scrolled through a few of the options FB gave me for that post, and was helpless to choose anything else once I saw it

Edit: It takes around a minute, maybe a minute and ten seconds (I timed it because I was curious) to post one of the old comics, so there's a chance I'll be done uploading all of the old ones before this afternoon. You can already browse the ones that are up by checking out the 'Old TMM' tag.

http://www.footballandrationalthoughts.com/tag/old-tmm/

well there goes my day

# ? Sep 9, 2015 16:42

Toaster Beef: Jan 23, 2007; that's not nature's way

evilweasel posted:

well there goes my day

I've posted about 30 thus far ... it's kinda daunting, but it's moving along.

It had been a while since I saw the debut of Jeff George :unsmith:

# ? Sep 9, 2015 16:49

DJExile: Jun 28, 2007

Toaster Beef posted:

I scrolled through a few of the options FB gave me for that post, and was helpless to choose anything else once I saw it

Edit: It takes around a minute, maybe a minute and ten seconds (I timed it because I was curious) to post one of the old comics, so there's a chance I'll be done uploading all of the old ones before this afternoon. You can already browse the ones that are up by checking out the 'Old TMM' tag.

http://www.footballandrationalthoughts.com/tag/old-tmm/

I AM SO loving HAPPY :yayclod:

# ? Sep 9, 2015 16:52

Probably Magic: Oct 9, 2012; Looking cute, feeling cute.

drat, we should've started a new Farthouse thread sooner if it summons Toaster Beef this fast. :unsmith:

# ? Sep 9, 2015 16:59

Toaster Beef: Jan 23, 2007; that's not nature's way

Okay, I've uploaded fifty old comics (another seventy or so to go). Early afternoon was definitely optimistic, but the point is it's getting done and all of the old TMMs should be on FART by the end of the day

# ? Sep 9, 2015 17:35

Silly Burrito: Nov 27, 2007; SET A COURSE FOR
THE FLAVOR QUADRANT

nrr posted:

im too drank right now to respond with anything but WTF FEBREEZE?!

ok no wait ill rally gently caress you...

1. YOU loving NAME THE NEW THREAD AFTER A CRAZY68WHATEVER POST THAT IS A DIRECT RIPOFF OF A 2 YEAR OLD JOKE I MADE ABOUT HIM?!

2. that motherfuckers my posting nemesis, do you not remember this?

3. except hes got a lot better since I started giving him poo poo for being poo poo and he actually defended me recently in something stupid I think which means that hes actually kindof cool now and im out of line and more importantly I have no grounds to even be remotely pissed off in the slightest _{_{the end}}

4. BUT DO YOU THINK THATS EVER STOPPED ME BEFORE?>!

5. so this is the point where I give actual evidence that everyone either 'handwaves away' or acts like im a fuckin rear end in a top hat which would be pretty much be about as accurate as nick foles circa 2013... and then about as useful as nick foles circa 2014:

6. (or more like 5a or 5.1 or whatever idk) https://soundcloud.com/user237822301/sets/lol-he-thinks-ldt-is-white

6.1 aka 5b/5.2 (ugh this is getting co,mp[licated, what dumbass gave me a keyboard instead of more whisky)

I got the joke you loving halfwit
Get out of the Farthouse you're ruining it
Check your pants cos when you try to Fart you just poo poo
TBeef I love you, all is Groovy

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse* > FARTHOUSE 5: - I stole nrr's playbook and commissioner Febreeze barely even sentenced me to a perfect(ly balanced) season

Now I want a posting nemesis.

Toaster Beef posted:

Okay, I've uploaded fifty old comics (another seventy or so to go). Early afternoon was definitely optimistic, but the point is it's getting done and all of the old TMMs should be on FART by the end of the day

Hell yes.

# ? Sep 9, 2015 17:36

Febreeze: Oct 24, 2011; I want to care, butt I dont

Probably Magic posted:

drat, we should've started a new Farthouse thread sooner if it summons Toaster Beef this fast.

Everytime Beef goes into Hibernation we should start a new Farthouse, wake him up

that or I'll start poking him on facebook. Hear that beef? Don't make me have to poke you. I'll do it.

# ? Sep 9, 2015 17:53

Dexo: Aug 15, 2009; A city that was to live by night after the wilderness had passed. A city that was to forge out of steel and blood-red neon its own peculiar wilderness.

http://www.footballandrationalthoughts.com/2013/05/23/is-he-that-bad-or-am-i-just-that-good/

Man This comic gets me every loving time.

# ? Sep 9, 2015 17:57

AAAAA! Real Muenster: Jul 12, 2008; My QB is also named Bort

Dexo posted:

http://www.footballandrationalthoughts.com/2013/05/23/is-he-that-bad-or-am-i-just-that-good/

Man This comic gets me every loving time.

Oh god I forgot about that one. If someone finds the progenitor of "Hup" please share it.

# ? Sep 9, 2015 18:10

PantsFreeZone: May 31, 2013; by Nyc_Tattoo

Dexo posted:

http://www.footballandrationalthoughts.com/2013/05/23/is-he-that-bad-or-am-i-just-that-good/

Man This comic gets me every loving time.

That is subtle genius right thar.

# ? Sep 9, 2015 18:12

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Poor Sanchez was the butt of so many of Beef's jokes.

and everyone else's.

# ? Sep 9, 2015 18:12

DJExile: Jun 28, 2007

woooo kid

the best kid :allears:

# ? Sep 9, 2015 18:28

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

I had forgotten TMM had gotten the story right 2 years ago: http://www.footballandrationalthoughts.com/2013/07/12/belichick-brand-bunny-blenders/

# ? Sep 9, 2015 18:33

Toaster Beef: Jan 23, 2007; that's not nature's way

Bort Bortles posted:

Oh god I forgot about that one. If someone finds the progenitor of "Hup" please share it.

That and the Carson Palmer-to-the-Raiders "earthen clay" one both come back and get lost regularly. Somebody somewhere has both of 'em, but they have a tendency to vanish into the ether.

# ? Sep 9, 2015 18:35

DJExile: Jun 28, 2007

Kalli posted:

I had forgotten TMM had gotten the story right 2 years ago: http://www.footballandrationalthoughts.com/2013/07/12/belichick-brand-bunny-blenders/

holy poo poo

Toaster Beef posted:

That and the Carson Palmer-to-the-Raiders "earthen clay" one both come back and get lost regularly. Somebody somewhere has both of 'em, but they have a tendency to vanish into the ether.

I have earthen clay one somewhere, hold on

# ? Sep 9, 2015 18:35

JPrime: Jul 4, 2007; tales of derring-do, bad ~~and good~~ luck tales!; College Slice

I thought "hup" came from Revis stealing every pass?

# ? Sep 9, 2015 18:37

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 23:57

Tom Tucker: Jul 19, 2003; I want to warn you fellers
And tell you one by one
What makes a gallows rope to swing
A woman and a gun

Sensitivity Training still one of the best comics I've ever seen.

# ? Sep 9, 2015 18:37

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > FARTHOUSE 5: - sounds funny but ultimately you just shit your pants

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