What's in Mr. Sandman's sand?

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tao of lmao

Seriously cause if I can just get the active ingredient in bulk i won't have to rely on some creepy old spirit's whim to finally get some good sleep.

# ¿ Sep 9, 2015 16:03

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 02:30

tao of lmao

*sandman sprinkling dust on me*
Me: woah wtf *coughs* i was already asleep.
Sandman: oops, sorry there you sleep with your eyes open it's really weird. I'll show myself out. *stumbles into nightstand, knocks over lamp*
Me: God dammit!
Sandman: Sorry, sorry.

# ¿ Sep 9, 2015 16:09

tao of lmao

Macnult posted:

Me: Why does my cat go crazy every time you visit?

Sandman: It must be the sand! Maybe she thinks it's like a... uh.. litterbox?

Me: C'mon, Sandman. We both know cats never get that exited about litter boxes. What do you mix with your sand?

Sandman: That ruins the mystery of it all! Why does it matter to you?

Me: Because I'm literally losing sleep trying to figure it out.

Sandman: lol tru. alright the other thing I mix is valerian root tea. it knocks people out ezpz, and for cats it's like the disco poo poo of catnip. the smell of it is p strong and fills a room faster than dank bud, so if your cat smells that ish she'll start freaking out. make sure you store it in a mason jar or something.

Splatmaster posted:

Meanwhile, in the basement of Pfizer Pharmaceutical...

The basement was dark, the only light in a corner of the room is emanating from a 100 watt incandescent bulb- if this doesn't scream "evil bastards" than I just don't even know! In this day and age, when you have CFLs or even better, LED lamps- and these half-wit poo poo-for-brains Big Pharma jack offs are using INCANDESCENT?

In a chair sat a figure, swaddled in clothes from head to toe, a pair of goggles poked out of the area where a face would be. A metallic mouthpiece jutted out as well, with a pair of metal ports on either side of the mouthpiece. Finally, four metal horn-like protrusions jutted out of the top of the figure's head. "Tell us how you make the sand!" yelled a tall man with a powerful athletic build. He was dressed in a blue short-sleeve shirt with white casual slacks and a blue cloth belt that matched the shirt. he wore slip-on deck shoes, and was threatening to hit the figure seated and bound in the chair in front of him. Tusken raiders were hard to break, but the Senior Vice President of Innovation for Pfizer had plenty of time. He would find out the secret to the Sandman's power, there was a promotion involved, after all...