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Broenheim posted:have sex with the mom depending on his wife's weight, the mom could make him up to 3x more happy!
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Sep 16, 2015 03:22
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go gently caress every one of her friends just to be sure op. get the jump on this poo poo right now.
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Sep 16, 2015 04:01
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detectivemonkey posted:
Have you ever been really drunk? Like a few shots short of a handle drunk? poo poo gets a little wonky at that level. When I woke up still plastered her whole family was laughing at me for all the drunk texts asking her to come back. c'est la vie
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Sep 16, 2015 07:03
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OP the very real problem here is your alcohol abuse. Please seek help.
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Sep 16, 2015 07:22
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Lol op has a crippling alcohol dependency.
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Sep 16, 2015 08:00
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Lard Goat posted:Have you ever been really drunk? Like a few shots short of a handle drunk? poo poo gets a little wonky at that level. When I woke up still plastered her whole family was laughing at me for all the drunk texts asking her to come back. c'est la vie I see great things in store for you.
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Sep 16, 2015 08:48
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Lard Goat posted:But her mom is a 400+ pound woman that is satan incarnate And yet the "lard goat" is you.
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Sep 16, 2015 09:54
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This thread owns
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Sep 16, 2015 14:20
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Lard Goat posted:Well poo poo, this is pretty embarrassing but I was really loving drunk and she did not leave me. Her mom is in the hospital and it turns out I refused to believe her. So sorry, no marriage ending, just too much alcohol. Goldmine.
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Sep 16, 2015 16:15
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thread loving rules OP never change
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Sep 16, 2015 16:25
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When your wife does leave you, don't send her any texts. Now that you've shown weakness, she pretty much has to leave you.
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Sep 16, 2015 18:40
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All of you are right! i am dependent on alcohol. I have hosed up my life so bad that I.... Holy poo poo, have none of you really gotten really loving drunk? GBS taught me e/n is bad, but I didn't believe, now I do. Alcohol 4 Lyfe beta scum.
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Sep 17, 2015 05:20
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Lard Goat posted:All of you are right! i am dependent on alcohol. I have hosed up my life so bad that I.... I did. When I was 18, single, and my raging alcoholism couldn't destroy anyone but myself. But keep fighting the good fight!
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Sep 17, 2015 05:31
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Who honestly can say they haven't sucked a bunch of dicks on the side like really a ton while blind drunk. Any hands? Thought so.
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Sep 17, 2015 07:45
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Lard Goat posted:All of you are right! i am dependent on alcohol. I have hosed up my life so bad that I.... 
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Sep 17, 2015 08:05
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Lard Goat posted:All of you are right! i am dependent on alcohol. I have hosed up my life so bad that I.... quote:When I woke up still plastered her whole family was laughing at me for all the drunk texts asking her to come back. Right, we're the betas.
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Sep 17, 2015 09:27
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I like E/N's take on Fireflies Goon.
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Sep 17, 2015 09:59
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Drinking owns.
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Sep 17, 2015 14:17
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op is an alcoholic lmao
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Sep 17, 2015 14:47
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Lard Goat posted:All of you are right! i am dependent on alcohol. I have hosed up my life so bad that I.... can you post some other texts you sent on other occasions you were black out durnk?
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Sep 17, 2015 16:03
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I, too, like to drink most of a handle of whiskey by myself and send non sequitur harassing texts to my significant other while they're at the hospital with their mother
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Sep 17, 2015 19:26
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wish everyone wasn't so negative, I was so afraid that the op's wife had just left him, that when we found out that he was just really drunk I was so relieved that I can now safely declare this the feel good thread of the year.
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Sep 17, 2015 21:47
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I think OP discovering that e/n is not good but actually bad qualifies this as an official "E/N Success Story(c)"
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Sep 17, 2015 23:35
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How many times have you been that drunk around your wife?
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Sep 18, 2015 02:22
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If I get that drunk I sure as poo poo am somewhere else other than posting on a half abandoned Internet comedy forum about how my wife left me
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Sep 18, 2015 05:11
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Lard Goat posted:Have you ever been really drunk? Like a few shots short of a handle drunk? poo poo gets a little wonky at that level. When I woke up still plastered her whole family was laughing at me for all the drunk texts asking her to come back. c'est la vie If you're going to still smash down that much then try not to drink alone is all the advice I can give. Avoid caffeine so you're not up at 5am browsing through facebook and wondering what the rest of your year level from high school have been up to even though you didn't speak to them back then.
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Sep 18, 2015 07:09
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Bunch of teetotaler nerds in this thread
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Sep 18, 2015 08:46
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redweird posted:Bunch of teetotaler nerds in this thread Not at all, I often get dead drunk in the middle of the week and then text my wife which all her family thinks is hilarious because they too are white trash.
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Sep 18, 2015 08:52
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haha you dont have any real friends, your first instinct was not to call a friend to try to figure what went wrong, nope - right to the internet.
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Sep 18, 2015 14:36
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Smash it Smash hit posted:haha you dont have any real friends, your first instinct was not to call a friend to try to figure what went wrong, nope - right to the internet. yeah
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Sep 18, 2015 16:53
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Lard Goat posted:her whole family was laughing at me for all the drunk texts asking her to come back LOL you lied about not caring.
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Sep 19, 2015 00:31
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stay safe out there
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Sep 19, 2015 00:56
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I NEVER LOVED YOU ANYWAY oval office DON'T COME BACK oh my bad I was drunk honey tee hee
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Sep 19, 2015 06:20
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Get therapy? Is that the right answer? Did I get it right? Well, get some loving therapy OP.
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Sep 19, 2015 06:58
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 Not you, your wife. She should
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Sep 19, 2015 08:11
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SKELETON GHOST posted:If you are white move to a second world country where you can get with decently educated girl from a wealthy (in relative terms) family. She'll be receptive to you because of the status you bring. Usually you'll have a height advantage with the locals. Because family connections are stronger than in the western world she'll have been protected by the patriarchy and you may be able to wrangle business connections through the family. You'll have to prove that you are fully established in the country though. This is something which is overlooked in the west, only the elites here marry with a family on par with their own so due to the protective nature of the family, the girls are held accountable for their actions and indiscretions are frowned upon. Feminist is happening everywhere but you can be sheltered from it for a few more years over there. Jon Poo is that you?
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Sep 19, 2015 08:19
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Serotonin posted:Jon Poo is that you? I saw a similar screed in Mr Tastee's new thread and I believe you are correct.
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Sep 19, 2015 09:01
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i hope you will think about how this affected you and what issues in your marriage you can address.
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Sep 19, 2015 09:05
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OP you need to buy your wife an SA account as a make up present and show her this thread so the healing can begin in earnest.
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Sep 19, 2015 12:53
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JakeP posted:thread loving rules OP never change So I got drunk once and sent desperate texts for her to come back (But I don't care), she showed them to her family, and now THEY are the bitches.
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Sep 19, 2015 18:48
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