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I put in three years of retail as an undergrad, not too bad all things considered but I did have a couple of memorable bad ones. While checking things out for a family doing their grocery shopping, some of the bags on the rack got stuck together so I bent over to sort them out. One of the family was a little kid, probably six years old or so. He reached up and yanked on my dangling necklace while I was sorting out the bags. Smacked my face into checkout stand from the surprise and ripped the necklace off. The mom thought it was funny as hell. An elderly man decided that the middle of the electronics section was the perfect place to pull his pants down, have a squat, and take a poo poo on the floor in full view of everyone. Fortunately, I've been working at a university library for the past two and a half years, so going through my posts from the student venting thread about some memorable incidents: quote:For the past week or so, the library's been interviewing applicants for a new student worker position, which ends in showing the student around the work areas of the library. The director just brought the latest applicant by the circulation area, where I was reviewing some procedures with one of our existing student workers, who happens to be an immigrant from Brazil and speaks with a noticeable but understandable accent. The new applicant looked at us, then told the director "No one told me I'd have to work with jungle n---ers. I don't speak Spanish." The director looked like she couldn't believe what she heard for a moment, then told him that if he'd been on the payroll, she'd be on the phone with HR right now telling them that he'd been fired. And a list of strange things I have been asked for at the library circulation desk (different students, of course, accumulated over two and a half years working here): Condoms Birth control pills A microwave (as in: the student wanted a microwave to take upstairs with him) Batteries Puppies Cake (she could see the cake folks in back were having, it was a coworkers' birthday) Gameboy/other handheld gaming device Spare, fresh underwear Free coffee Porn movies Beer Adderall A mini-fridge A phone number for an escort service Hemorrhoid cream Makeup A tie (the student said he had a skype video interview he was going to do in a study room)
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Nov 9, 2015 03:21
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These stories suggest to me that there are a lot more mentally ill people out there than anyone realizes.
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Nov 9, 2015 14:58
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 Where is [popular book]? Let me check in our system! You mean you don't know where it is? I can look it up and see if we have a copy. YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOOOOW? Where is [popular board book]? Hmm, it looks like we have a copy of that! It should be in our kid's section, let's go look!As soon as we arrive, her small child starts absolutely wrecking poo poo a shelf over. Books everywhere. I.... uh. Okay, it looks like it's not where it's supposed to be. It's probably on a nearby shelf, they never wander far. But you said you had a copy. Yes, sometimes the kids section can get a but out of order. *pushes over a line of books, laying them flat on the shelf* You mean you don't alphabetize it? We do, it does tend to get out of order quickly though. *smears spit-covered hand across spines of all books on lower shelf* Well you don't do it enough.
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Nov 9, 2015 17:37
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Bomrek posted:
See also: the classic, "I am looking for a book, I think it's blue."
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Nov 9, 2015 17:40
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cash crab posted:See also: the classic, "I am looking for a book, I think it's blue." And "I'm getting back into reading, what's a good book?" It seems so innocent! So encouraging! And then you lead them on a tour of bestsellers and personal favorites and nothing satisfies them. They just stand there staring at you as you run out of options. Asking "well what do you like" never yields results either. "I don't know" doesn't count! Think of a thing!
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Nov 9, 2015 19:43
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Reminds me of one of my jobs working in an academic music library: Do you have any Mozart? Yes. Are you looking for a score or a CD? I want to listen to some Mozart. Ah, okay. We have a lot of CDs of Mozart's music. What were you looking for? Just some Mozart. I heard listening to it makes you smarter. I want to listen while I'm studying. Um. Operas? Chamber music? Symphonies? Piano music? We have hundreds of Mozart CDs. I don't care. Just Mozart.
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Nov 10, 2015 13:48
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ZoeDomingo posted:Reminds me of one of my jobs working in an academic music library: give em beethoven. 
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Nov 10, 2015 13:56
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Bomrek posted:
Let me try the way I did it at B&N: "Where is [any]book" "Let me check to see if we have any in stock before I take you to the section, it'll just take a moment." "Wow, thanks!"
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Nov 10, 2015 14:14
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That's exactly what he is doing there though? Only a complete idiot wouldn't realize what look up in the system means.
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Nov 10, 2015 14:34
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describe every action you are doing. "sir i am moving my hand to the keyboard, to type the words of your book, into the system. the system is centralized server using a linux-based sql server that keeps track of inventory in the store as well as its location that is well maintained by our it department. i just typed the first letter of your book, and am now typing the second, using electrical impulses in my finger to contract and relax muscles allowing for movement
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Nov 10, 2015 19:20
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BiggerBoat posted:Off kilter you say? How do you survive that, or was it 37 separate incidents? No, it was one incident. And judging from the scars, most of them were aimed at extremities. What's funny is that she begged the DA not to prosecute because "the stabbing proved he loved her". The DA basically laughed her out of the office, and offered him a plea bargain for ten years, that he refused. He wasn't going back to prison. So it went to trial, and he got sentenced to twenty-five years. He hanged himself in his cell the night after he was sentenced. She spent a couple of years looking for a lawyer who would sue the DA because he prosecuted anyways after she begged him not to. Fun times.
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Nov 10, 2015 21:21
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Control Volume posted:describe every action you are doing. "sir i am moving my hand to the keyboard, to type the words of your book, into the system. the system is centralized server using a linux-based sql server that keeps track of inventory in the store as well as its location that is well maintained by our it department. i just typed the first letter of your book, and am now typing the second, using electrical impulses in my finger to contract and relax muscles allowing for movement "Using my knowledge of the alphabet and the English language, I am now synthesizing the sounds that came out of your mouth and producing a result made of meaningful words. I am now using my brain to see if these words make sense in context. Now I am using my memory to see if I remember seeing this book on the shelf.... hmm, nope. Now I going to think of how I will find out. Ah, I remember I have a computer, as well as hands with which to use it..."
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Nov 11, 2015 00:51
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Bomrek posted:Now I am using my memory to see if I remember seeing this book on the shelf.... hmm, nope. this is admitting weakness, and the hungry customer horde will tear you from limb to limb and devour your innards and lay eggs in your rotting carcass, continuing the retail life cycle
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Nov 11, 2015 02:43
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poo poo back when i worked at B&N the only think people wanted was whatever oprah's book of the month was. I think at the time i was 17 and i got a big roll of the oprah book club stickers, and put em all over the anne rice bondage of sleeping beauty series. Thats my story.
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Nov 11, 2015 13:55
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Control Volume posted:describe every action you are doing. "sir i am moving my hand to the keyboard, to type the words of your book, into the system. the system is centralized server using a linux-based sql server that keeps track of inventory in the store as well as its location that is well maintained by our it department. i just typed the first letter of your book, and am now typing the second, using electrical impulses in my finger to contract and relax muscles allowing for movement I would shop there.
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Nov 11, 2015 15:41
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Bomrek posted:And "I'm getting back into reading, what's a good book?" I got this in jewelry a lot. People would come in not knowing what they want. I'd ask questions to narrow down their tastes, but then they'd ask me what I liked. I'd be honest and show them. "No I don't like that." Okay, then what do you like? "I don't know." Then how about I let you keep browsing so I can help this other person who's waiting? "So you don't want to help me?!?" ... I'm just sitting watching them look through the glass in silence at this point. I could be assisting someone who knows what they're in for. Maybe they're in to get a necklace fixed while they're on their lunch break. Maybe their girlfriend is in the hospital having a baby and they want to buy a ring and propose to her within the hour. That is a thing that happened before. But no, I have to sit and watch them silently shop for something they don't know they want. I did end up walking away a few times. I witnessed a lot of break ups in that store too. Tons of relationships fall apart over picking out wedding rings. But this was the place I would also get flowers or candy as gifts of appreciation for my work so it certainly wasn't all bad.
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Nov 11, 2015 23:08
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Picnic Princess posted:
I'm not surprised but I find this hilarious. What does a relationship look like when it's so dysfunctional that it ends over something that makes zero difference to either partners life? What makes two people think that they deserve to get married if they can't even negotiate simple poo poo? I can imagine realtors and furniture stores also see alot of breakups.
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Nov 19, 2015 10:52
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cash crab posted:See also: the classic, "I am looking for a book, I think it's blue." To be fair this is just the sort of reference interview librarians are trained in - expecting them to know exactly where an item is is another thing entirely. At my library we get a weird guy from time to time who had a seething hatred of Dewey and will berate staff as they attempt to locate materials for him using it. I can't imagine being so petty.
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Nov 19, 2015 14:17
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Deified Data posted:To be fair this is just the sort of reference interview librarians are trained in - expecting them to know exactly where an item is is another thing entirely. At my library we get a weird guy from time to time who had a seething hatred of Dewey and will berate staff as they attempt to locate materials for him using it. I can't imagine being so petty. Old-fashioned categorization techniques in library science is.... a really mysterious thing to hold a grudge against. Is this guy like one bad day away from turning into a Scooby Doo villain?
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Nov 19, 2015 14:33
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Deified Data posted:To be fair this is just the sort of reference interview librarians are trained in - expecting them to know exactly where an item is is another thing entirely. At my library we get a weird guy from time to time who had a seething hatred of Dewey and will berate staff as they attempt to locate materials for him using it. I can't imagine being so petty. I know a guy just like that, except it's Wikipedia. Even knowledge gained from original sources, including scientific papers, is invalid if you reached it via a wiki citation.
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Nov 19, 2015 16:46
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cash crab posted:See also: the classic, "I am looking for a book, I think it's blue."  
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Nov 20, 2015 01:31
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twig1919 posted:I'm not surprised but I find this hilarious. What does a relationship look like when it's so dysfunctional that it ends over something that makes zero difference to either partners life? What makes two people think that they deserve to get married if they can't even negotiate simple poo poo? I can imagine realtors and furniture stores also see alot of breakups. You'd be surprised at how many people decide that marriage will save their relationship only to find out that the effort that goes into making a marriage happen just ends it.
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Nov 20, 2015 04:23
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Our relationship is going down in flames. Let's put those flames out by pouring gasoline on them. Customer story: Female passenger throws a hissy fit because we won't let her on the plane. Refuses to accept "The plane isn't at the gate yet." As a legitimate excuse. This is despite having this conversation in full view of the jet bridge which clearly is not attached to an airplane.
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Nov 20, 2015 16:36
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Bomrek posted:And "I'm getting back into reading, what's a good book?" Ugh, yes. I worked in a Blockbuster when those still existed, and people did this with movies as well, and it was super frustrating because movies and books are pretty subjective in terms of "good". And good doesn't mean "enjoyable", either. I wish more people were like my mom, who just goes through Amazon and clicks on a book she likes and then writes down all the recommended titles because she knows that she'll probably like related titles. Coincidentally, she reads like three books a week. Deified Data posted:To be fair this is just the sort of reference interview librarians are trained in - expecting them to know exactly where an item is is another thing entirely. At my library we get a weird guy from time to time who had a seething hatred of Dewey and will berate staff as they attempt to locate materials for him using it. I can't imagine being so petty. I worked in an academic library and yes, people are extra weird there. Faves: The woman who had pictures of all the staff on her cellphone and would have regular conversations with these photographs, and avoid the actual staff while having these conversations on her phone. She was the reason we had a "if you're on your phone we will not serve you" sign. 2nd fave: One grad student who would get me to put weird increments of money on his printing card, with multiple forms of payment; i.e.: $12.43 on Mastercard, $6.55 in cash. My father worked in the computer lab upstairs and told me he used to research bomb making and radical literature upstairs and in retrospect, my father was the worst line of security of all time. Anyway, I worked at the circulation desk, so I saw only his book-taking-out habits. The way it worked was: undergrads get books for two weeks, grads and staff get them for the semester, certain PhD students can keep them for six months, etc. This guy would take out 45-50 every semester, and when they were due, return and take them out again. He did this with the same group of books for years. There's a caveat to grad borrowing, though, which is that if a student puts a hold on that book, you need to return it. If another hold is requested, all the books go into reference and they are officially 24-hour books. So, here's what he did: returned his 50 books. Almost every single one was on hold, so he asked me to hold them for him. I explained the situation and he insisted loudly I hold them, so I did. Once he took them out again, they were now 24-hour books. Which he kept. For the entire semester. I did not feel good sending him a bill, which IIRC was nearly $6000.
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Nov 20, 2015 17:09
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cash crab posted:I did not feel good sending him a bill, which IIRC was nearly $6000.
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Nov 20, 2015 19:29
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Bum the Sad posted:Why? That prick was creating his own private library by holding hostage books. Also he was maybe planning to do a school massacre.
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Nov 20, 2015 19:31
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twig1919 posted:I'm not surprised but I find this hilarious. What does a relationship look like when it's so dysfunctional that it ends over something that makes zero difference to either partners life? What makes two people think that they deserve to get married if they can't even negotiate simple poo poo? I can imagine realtors and furniture stores also see alot of breakups. Most break ups I witnessed happened over whether the rings should match or not. One person tries to demand the other wear a colour of gold they don't like or want, the other person stubbornly refuses, all hell breaks loose, wedding is called off. Like, don't you want your partner to be happy? Isn't that the point? Don't make them wear something they're going to hate. It's the first step towards eternal resentment. Stop treating them like they're now your property to display. One lady was shrieking like a banshee at her fiance because he didn't like yellow gold and refused to wear it. And all I can do is just sit there like  My favourite break up was a couple who knew each other less than a month. He came in with his buddy to look at engagement rings, and the buddy expressed concerns about getting into things too quickly "But I really love her, like so much". He found one he thought she would adore, so he called her to come down and have a look. While he was waiting for her to show up, he told me he was going to go down the mall to a different shop where he had one on hold, because he knew ours would be the one. Short while later, they come in together, she tries the ring on, loves it SO MUCH, it's perfect! It's the one she wants! They can cancel the other one that's one hold! He informs her he already did. And. poo poo. Hits. The. Fan. She looks at him and yells "YOU CANCELED IT WITHOUT MY PERMISSION? WHY DID YOU THINK YOU COULD DO THAT? HOW DARE YOU?!?" And she just keeps yelling and lecturing while not letting him get a word in edgewise. After several minutes she declared the relationship over because he can't be trusted and storms out, leaving the guy sitting there with me and everyone in the store staring at us. He sheepishly excused himself and I never saw either of them again.
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Nov 22, 2015 01:24
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many johnnys posted:I know a guy just like that, except it's Wikipedia. Even knowledge gained from original sources, including scientific papers, is invalid if you reached it via a wiki citation. This is like 90% of the library profession, really. It took me years to convince my co-workers that you could actually reliably cite something from the internet and that Wikipedia wasn't some ad-lib hellscape where people write whatever they want about any subject they want.
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Nov 26, 2015 09:17
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Deified Data posted:This is like 90% of the library profession, really. It took me years to convince my co-workers that you could actually reliably cite something from the internet and that Wikipedia wasn't some ad-lib hellscape where people write whatever they want about any subject they want. why would you lie to them like that
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Nov 26, 2015 18:55
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Deified Data posted:This is like 90% of the library profession, really. It took me years to convince my co-workers that you could actually reliably cite something from the internet and that Wikipedia wasn't some ad-lib hellscape where people write whatever they want about any subject they want. My little brother wrote an essay in university, realized that he hosed up and made the opposite argument that he should have, then went to Wikipedia and edited the page so that it agreed with his argument and cited that, so I feel like saying that you can reliably cite wikipedia is a bit hilarious.
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Dec 3, 2015 13:32
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EAT THE EGGS RICOLA posted:My little brother wrote an essay in university, realized that he hosed up and made the opposite argument that he should have, then went to Wikipedia and edited the page so that it agreed with his argument and cited that, so I feel like saying that you can reliably cite wikipedia is a bit hilarious. I mean, Bill O'Reilly can get a book published about the JFK assassination, so it's not like the printed word is flawless, either. Wikipedia is pretty reliable when people aren't abusing it to commit academic fraud like your brother But also, never cite Wikipedia for that reason. Look up and then use the citations from the bottom of the article.
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Dec 3, 2015 13:50
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EAT THE EGGS RICOLA posted:My little brother wrote an essay in university, realized that he hosed up and made the opposite argument that he should have, then went to Wikipedia and edited the page so that it agreed with his argument and cited that, so I feel like saying that you can reliably cite wikipedia is a bit hilarious. That sort of thing usually gets reverted very, very quickly. There are actually bots that flag stuff like rewrites of entire articles by first-time editors. It's actually a pretty impressive level of organization.
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Dec 3, 2015 16:04
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Blue Footed Booby posted:That sort of thing usually gets reverted very, very quickly. I edited two Wikipedia articles because they were about relatives of mine and contained inaccurate information. Then whichever Canadian political history nerd wrote them in the first place went back and edited out my edits, replacing them with their own original inaccuracies. Yes of course there are some actual experts writing Wikipedia articles and meticulously citing excellent sources, but Wikipedia is also a breeding ground for people who just think they're experts and enjoy that idea a little too much. Instead of fact-checking a Wikipedia article by reading its sources, why not just actually do the research that would lead you to those sources (because it's not like Wikipedia sources are deep cuts...) and avoid having your understanding prejudiced by the summary of someone who may or may not actually know what they're talking about?
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Dec 5, 2015 01:01
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Honestly? For most stuff I use Wikipedia for I just skim it over or it contains information I'm only mildly curious about and I don't take it for gospel. Like today I couldn't remember the NATO phonetic for U so I looked it up, I don't think anyone's in the habit of screwing with those. For hotter topics or stuff with edit wars yeah sure but if you're reading Wikipedia and trying to pass yourself off as a master for it you deserve whatever scorn you get. When I was at CC Wikipedia was really taking off and teachers had to tell students they couldn't source it but to use the sources that the article used instead. Not that that's much better but at least in most of my classes they also required at least one physical book source.
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Dec 5, 2015 03:46
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I waited on Joe Jackson once and he was a complete rear end in a top hat. He had performed in Philadelphia the previous night and was staying at the hotel I worked at. He asked me for a glass of water so I filled it with ice, poured in the water and brought it to him. HE very coldly (heh) said "May I have a glass of water and not a glass of ICE, please?" My immediate thought, besides that he was being an rear end in a top hat, was that technically, the whole thing WAS a glass of water. So I brought him another water, this time with less ice, about by half, and he sent it back again. A glass of water. Finally, I filled a glass and put ONE ice cube in it, which I could tell he didn't appreciate at that point but that one he kept. A co-worker, who was apparently a fan approached him while he was waiting for his food and very politely said "Mr. Jackson, I know you're busy, etc. etc. but I'm a big fan and if you have a moment when you're finished I'd really like your autograph". Very nice, not invasive, not interrupting or rude. He went "pffft". Then he tipped me 9%. So Joe Jackson is an rear end in a top hat. I've worked in the print industry for a long time and, whooo - boy do we get some winners. The big one for me that stands out was a lady who was printing a "Family Fun Guide" for NE Florida - like a tourist guide or something. She brought in this terrible painting for the cover that was supposed to be a montage but instead looked an inaccurate skyline. She had the Jacksonville skyline next to the St. Augustine fort and the beaches right next to that. It was brutal. Like having a NYC skyline with the Statue of Liberty next to the Empire State Building and Madison Square Garden. But the thing I remember is that this lady just absolutely could not decide on a font for the title, "Family Fun Guide". I must have showed her 50 different fonts in 100's of color combinations. I directed her to MyFonts.com and just said "pick a few that you like and we'll buy them and try them out" but she didn't like any of those either. When I finally got exasperated, I directed her to a font website I found where she could upload her crappy cover illustration, type in "Family Fun Guide" and see a sample of it for herself. She could play with the colors, size and everything. Still no good. When we finally settled on one, she kept asking me to adjust the drop shadow and the text outline by increments of millimeters. No joke. Like you couldn't even tell the difference when you printed them out. This went on for WEEKS and the dumb thing still looked like poo poo because the illustration was so bad. I STILL have that fonts folder and there are 355 fonts in it. I freelance a bit and still have this problem with clients. They'll hem and haw over the TINIEST poo poo (rotate that letter 2 degrees, make the "TM" just a point smaller), forgetting all the while that the layout is poo poo to start with. Being a graphic designer/illustrator you have to read people's loving minds. You do exactly what they ask and they hate it and change it (sometimes on press) but they always need it done RIGHT NOW. Whew. Sorry about that rant.
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Dec 9, 2015 19:06
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BiggerBoat posted:I waited on Joe Jackson once and he was a complete rear end in a top hat. Drinking ice water can throw off your vocal chords, which is why singers will request cool, or tepid water without ice in it. Basically, you were the rear end in a top hat here, since you apparently refused to leave the ice out of his glass even after he asked you to? That's kind of weird, but whatever.
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Dec 9, 2015 22:05
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Captain Bravo posted:Drinking ice water can throw off your vocal chords, which is why singers will request cool, or tepid water without ice in it. Basically, you were the rear end in a top hat here, since you apparently refused to leave the ice out of his glass even after he asked you to? That's kind of weird, but whatever. When someone asks for "a glass of water and not a glass of ice," and basically everyone else wants water with some ice in it, I'd assume they'd be happy with some ice, but less. He should've said "can I get a glass of water without ice please" and then everyone would be happy because BiggerBoat gets to do their job without being attacked and Joe Jackson gets what he wants in 2 tries rather than 3. But you know that already.
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Dec 9, 2015 22:44
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Captain Bravo posted:Drinking ice water can throw off your vocal chords, which is why singers will request cool, or tepid water without ice in it. Basically, you were the rear end in a top hat here, since you apparently refused to leave the ice out of his glass even after he asked you to? That's kind of weird, but whatever. Source: I put tubes between vocal cords for a living.
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Dec 9, 2015 23:16
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Captain Bravo posted:Drinking ice water can throw off your vocal chords, which is why singers will request cool, or tepid water without ice in it. Basically, you were the rear end in a top hat here, since you apparently refused to leave the ice out of his glass even after he asked you to? That's kind of weird, but whatever. He didn't request that. He could have just asked for less ice. Or no ice. Or ice in a separate glass. He didn't and he was a sarcastic jerk about it and acted like a was dick for bring the same glass of water to his table that I do every other customer I serve. I've been asked for and served drinks with no ice before with no issues. How was I to know that he needed a special glass of water? I brought him a glass of ice water and he said "Can I have a glass of water rather than a glass of ICE please?"in the most dickish tone imaginable. He also complained about all of his food and treated the nice waitress who was a fan like she was a tepid piece of garbage. How am I the rear end in a top hat here? You go wait on him and get your 9% tip. BiggerBoat fucked around with this message at 23:50 on Dec 9, 2015 |
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Dec 9, 2015 23:48
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Bum the Sad posted:Source: I put tubes between vocal cords for a living. I was using "vocal chords" as a catch-all term, but if you want to get specific: http://www.voicecouncil.com/w-a-t-e-r-sound-advise-for-singers/ posted:The muscles and mucus in one’s nose, mouth and throat (the pharynx) have a great deal to do with determining the singer’s sound quality. Source: every vocalist, politician, broadcaster, and person who's taken even an introductory course about public speaking/singing. Sure, I guess some people don't know this and it's fine, plus the dude was a bit snippy with you, but to keep bringing him ice afterwards is a dick move. If I send a burger back and say I wanted mustard only, and you bring me a bun with just mustard on it and no patty, I'm probably going to get in a bad mood too. Edit: Lemme be clear, I'm not saying there was anything wrong with the first glass. I wouldn't expect everyone to know that singers prefer non-ice water. And he was a bit snarky with you. But to then continue to bring him ice, and conclude with the fact that he tipped you anyway kind of blows my mind. For actual content, the worst customer I've ever had is the one that took a poo poo on my floor. I don't think she meant to, it was probably an accident. The fast-food place I worked at was located off a major highway that was jam-packed with cars fleeing a hurricane, so customers were literally lined up outside the door. This woman made it to about halfway through the line before she couldn't hold it in anymore, and dropped a big ol' turd right on the floor. She then sprinted to the women's room, dripping feces the entire way, and destroyed one of the stalls. Thankfully, I was not the low-man on the totem pole at that point, and the newbie got assigned to clean it up. Unfortunately, he wasn't willing to, and quit rather than deal with it, and so I ended up having to be the unlucky bastard who tonged the turd into the trash, and then mopped the offensive trail three times. Thankfully, I didn't end up having to de-poop the stall, but the woman who did told me the entire gruesome tale. Captain Bravo fucked around with this message at 00:35 on Dec 10, 2015 |
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Dec 10, 2015 00:06
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