0-16 Watch: Don't believe your Lion eyes

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > 0-16 Watch: Don't believe your Lion eyes

GNU Order: Feb 28, 2011; That's a paddlin'

FUN THREAD CHALLENGE

try to name a single player on the bears defense without looking it up

# ¿ Sep 28, 2015 00:44

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 14:44

GNU Order: Feb 28, 2011; That's a paddlin'

Kalli posted:

I remember Pernell McPhee and Shea McClellin because they were the guys that Gronk was embarrassing over and over again last year.

... I think you also have that old Cowboys DT... Jay Ratliff right?

he goes by Jeremiah Ratliff now, for reasons

# ¿ Sep 28, 2015 00:53

GNU Order: Feb 28, 2011; That's a paddlin'

Petite Dinklage posted:

I thought they had that horseshit safety Chris Conte on the team but I guess not

he got cut and followed Lovie to TB

# ¿ Sep 28, 2015 00:58

GNU Order: Feb 28, 2011; That's a paddlin'

FUN THREAD CHALLENGE #2

Jimmy Clausen went 9/17. Who did he throw to?

4 for 15 yards - ???
3 for 17 yards - ???
1 for 21 yards - ???
1 for 10 yards - ???

e- you are welcome to play this game if you watched the game, I got the first two and got one of the single reception names but for the wrong yardage

# ¿ Sep 28, 2015 01:00

GNU Order: Feb 28, 2011; That's a paddlin'

Lt. Chips posted:

I defended Lovie until the bitter end in Chicago and predicted good things for the Bucs when they hired him.

Man am I eating crow on that one.

I could actually be convinced to get behind John Fox, Trestman and Lovie as HC/OC/DC

Not with this roster, though

# ¿ Sep 28, 2015 01:00

GNU Order: Feb 28, 2011; That's a paddlin'

You know when you play a Madden game for long enough that you reach the point where the league where your team has more randomly-generated fake players than actual NFL players?

That is what happened to the Bears roster in one season

What the gently caress is a Josh Bellamy?

# ¿ Sep 28, 2015 01:09

GNU Order: Feb 28, 2011; That's a paddlin'

shiksa posted:

Uhhhh

Forte
Bennett
Royal
Fuckin, jacquizz?

Prozach posted:

The 1 for 21 is Zach Miller, because I saw him get a lengthy catch and I thought "oh hey that's where he went".

In order I'm guessing Forte, Bennett, Miller, Jacquizz. No receivers caught a ball from what I remember.

Thanks for playing, you're both quite close

The correct order is

Martellus Bennett
Eddie Royal
Zach Miller
Jacquizz Rodgers (the name I didn't get)

Assuming that Forte should be a part of our passing game is correct, but that would be too easy to try

# ¿ Sep 28, 2015 01:11

GNU Order: Feb 28, 2011; That's a paddlin'

Crow_Robot posted:

Why is the Bears' roster so empty of talent?

Cheap ownership/bad GM/what?

ALLOW ME to take you back to the halcyon days of the Lovie Smith era, where our humble story begins. Riding high were the Chicago Bears of 2006, a year in which the Sex Cannon Rex Grossman and Kyle "Jack Daniels" Orton took tips from third string QB Greasy Brian Griese. The defense was riding high, the offense was a trash fire who managed to be strung along by a team who are who we THOUGHT they were. But we let them off the hook. Lovie has always taken a cavalier approach to the NFL draft, and it was pretty clear that he got his way, and had some freedom to do whatever he wanted with the mid/late picks. You had your Al Afalavas (sp), your DJ Moore's, your [Insert 3rd round defensive player drafted to play Special Teams kick coverage here]. The Bears had a strong backbone of talent on defense, a disregard for searching for talent on offense (outside of Matt Forte, who they kinda lucked into), and Jerry Angelo, the GM in name but not in role, had a penchant for striking out on DL/OL prospects (hello Chris Williams).

The Cutler trade was certainly an un-Bearslike move (making a big, risky trade), and also cost us most of the 2010 draft. Talented veterans kept dropping like flies, Urlacher was no longer there to carry the chains out onto the field (nobody acutally wanted to make their own chain since this isn't High School so Urlacher got the water boys to make chains for him (this story is made up)) and Lovie remained unconcerned with even trying to draft skill position players. Why bother, he thought to himself as he was shown the door.

Phil Emery and Trestman marked a transition for the Bears. The roster was suffering. The 2006 team was all old and bad. Cutler was stupid and dumb and weak and we hated him (not we as in me but we as in chicagoans). But here, we had two nerds. Dudes who knew what DVOA was, and weren't afraid to reference it to show off their chops. One of them looked like a sex offender. We didn't care. We wanted a change. Two mavericks who would shake up the system, rebuild the roster, and drag the dated Chicago mentality forward from the treadmill of 1985 Superbowl Shufflin Bears where defense wins championships and passing is for fancyboys. Their first move was to draft a 3/4 tweener OLB from Boise State, Alshon Jeffery (who owns and is good) and a bunch of dudes who did not last more than one season. The next draft was equally horrendous (Kyle Long is the only player worth mentioning) and 2014 is looking like a skinker of a draft, as Ego Ferguson and Kyle Fuller are the only names you will hear on a sunday, usually followed by the words "aren't very good".

Is 9 years of bad drafting enough to take a team from NFC North/Super Bowl contenders to the worst team in the NFL? Some might argue yes. Others might argue that there can be value in the Free Agency, wheeling and dealing to try to find your guys. The Bears have never been about that life, as Pernell McPhee represented the biggest free agent signing since we picked up Lester "Lefty" Wallack in '48. Nah, that's not totally true, in fact most of the top players on the Bears have been acquired through FA or trades. Cutler, Martellus Bennett, Left Tackle Jermon Bushrod (who was good before we got our hands on him, system LT????), Jared Allen (who rates high on the grit level which maeks him good in my eyes) Jay/Jeremiah Ratliff who would be a solid contributor on a team which didn't suck hard, and others along the way who have since left (Tim Jennings for a little while, Julius Peppers, uh fuckin Garza was a free agent signing i think). The point is this list should be longer, and is longer for any other team.

The Bears do not have good players. They're not good at drafting good players. They're not good at acquiring, or keeping good players. Most importantly, they're not good at developing the players they get, especially the young ones. The team has been a nosedive since the mid 2000's and, despite all of us back in the coach seats screaming up to the pilot to start the course correction, he maintains that things are OK as he tries to stick that fucker right into the Hudson river. That poo poo ain't easy.

RIP Jason McKie

# ¿ Sep 28, 2015 01:32

GNU Order: Feb 28, 2011; That's a paddlin'

sean10mm posted:

Do the Bears have any decent defensive backs they can trade to the Patriots for peanuts for no good reason? That seems like the next logical step to the "gently caress it we give up" plan.

ahahahaha

Ahahahahahahaha
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH

ASSAAAAAAHHHHAAaaaa

No we do not

# ¿ Sep 28, 2015 22:28

GNU Order: Feb 28, 2011; That's a paddlin'

Jon Bostic is a Patriot, what we get back hasn't been announced yet.

Hail satan, get off my TV Bostic

# ¿ Sep 29, 2015 01:22

GNU Order: Feb 28, 2011; That's a paddlin'

Draft the whole northwestern defense

# ¿ Sep 29, 2015 02:51

GNU Order: Feb 28, 2011; That's a paddlin'

R.D. Mangles posted:

I hope the Bears draft a guy and sit him behind Cutler for a year to benefit from his veteran leadership.

Jay Cutler and rookie staring out into the stands as a mob of Chicagoans look at their phones and occiasionally look up to boo and shout obscenities, unaware of what's actually going on onfield but filled with the desire to boo

"A Quarterback's time as ruler rises and falls like the sun. One day, Rookie, the sun will set on my time here, and will rise with you as the new Quarterback."
"And this'll all be mine?"
"Everything. The undeserved self-entitled fanbase. The meathead, moustachioed, stuck-in-85 drunkard, the big-market media scrutiny, the godawful field conditions, the vortex of wind and snow that settles in off the lakeshore, and the inability to do anything about it"
"gently caress"

# ¿ Sep 29, 2015 05:00

GNU Order: Feb 28, 2011; That's a paddlin'

Maybe Pace is just trying to make Emery look worse in retrospect by dumping all of his draft picks?

# ¿ Sep 30, 2015 15:30

GNU Order: Feb 28, 2011; That's a paddlin'

Volkerball posted:

whats the context of this play

2nd and 6, 5:13 in the first quarter

# ¿ Oct 1, 2015 01:18

GNU Order: Feb 28, 2011; That's a paddlin'

my post was, much like the Bears secondary, a joke

# ¿ Oct 1, 2015 01:40

GNU Order: Feb 28, 2011; That's a paddlin'

Fenrir posted:

As bad as the Bears are, I don't think they're bad enough to even go 2-14. In fact, I don't think anyone will this year. The worst record will be at least 3-4 wins unless something horrible happens. Like, more horrible than the Cutler injury.

Now if Forte were to also get hurt while Cutler's still out, yeah the Bears could lose 14 games. Other than that, uh. I mean maybe the Bucs? That team is hot garbage and could still win 3 or 4 more games and end up at least 5-11. In fact, I think 5-11 was my prediction for them this year.

If forte gets hurt then you may as well place the the 0-16 crown on our heads now.

# ¿ Oct 3, 2015 15:37

GNU Order: Feb 28, 2011; That's a paddlin'

Darth123123 posted:

Just trade forte already

I used to feel bad about guys like MJD or McFadden, great RB's who wasted away on awful teams. That'll never happen to Matt Forte, I thought

# ¿ Oct 3, 2015 15:52

GNU Order: Feb 28, 2011; That's a paddlin'

I forgot how much better this offense looks with Jay. Maybe there is hope :unsmith:

# ¿ Oct 4, 2015 18:11

GNU Order: Feb 28, 2011; That's a paddlin'

The quest for 0-16 is coming down to a nail biter in Chicago

# ¿ Oct 4, 2015 21:00

GNU Order: Feb 28, 2011; That's a paddlin'

Please change the thread title it is not accurate

# ¿ Oct 4, 2015 21:14

GNU Order: Feb 28, 2011; That's a paddlin'

Why are you guys talking about the Bears in the 0-16 Detroit Lions thread?????

So uh, how about that *looks at depth chart* Tahir Whitehead? ahahahaha christ

# ¿ Oct 6, 2015 00:43

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 14:44

GNU Order: Feb 28, 2011; That's a paddlin'

Close this thread

# ¿ Oct 18, 2015 22:23

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > 0-16 Watch: Don't believe your Lion eyes