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Tempest_56 posted:Team: Buffalo Bills You should be a fan of the Seattle Seahawks. Our defense makes big plays especially with Kam back. We also hate the Patriots, our offense features Lynch, Wilson and Graham. And Russell Wilson is anything but cement footed. Tyler Lockett got special teams player of the month with a punt and kick return for TDs. I wouldn't say we're scrappy underdogs though.
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Oct 6, 2015 00:39
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MonsterWalk posted:Aw, shucks! They look like they'll be very good this year. I think there is still room for a Chiefs fan or two. The part of me that hates myself/my team is absolutely cheering for a Bengals playoff run. Including at least one win.
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Oct 6, 2015 00:41
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I can't get around my Bears brainwashing, but I'd take an AFC team Team: Chicago Bears Why I'm Sad: The Bears are currently in the middle of a fire sale/rebuild, and I've never significantly followed football outside of the NFC North, so it might be fun to follow an AFC team. Likes: (List three things you love. Ex: Great D, Fast WRs, The Color Green.) 1. Good defense crushing the pocket 2. Good coaching 3. Winning Dislikes: (List three things that you hate. Ex: Weak Secondary, Fumbles, Alex Smith.) 1. Cheaters/asterisks 2. Interceptions, offensive gently caress ups 3. Cheeseheads (I know, NFC North, but I still hate them) 3a. Players who are lovely people (eg. Suh)
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Oct 6, 2015 00:55
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seiferguy posted:You should be a fan of the Seattle Seahawks. Our defense makes big plays especially with Kam back. We also hate the Patriots, our offense features Lynch, Wilson and Graham. And Russell Wilson is anything but cement footed. And they have Freddy! Edit: they had Freddy! Now Freddy is a cripple! pasaluki fucked around with this message at 05:21 on Oct 6, 2015 |
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Oct 6, 2015 01:01
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ArgaWarga posted:I can't get around my Bears brainwashing, but I'd take an AFC team The Jets, although Fitzpatrick likes to throw at least 1 INT a game but the offense isnt a total dumpster fire anymore. They also drafted Devin Smith, who is the epitome of gently caress it go deep.
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Oct 6, 2015 01:02
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ArgaWarga posted:I can't get around my Bears brainwashing, but I'd take an AFC team Daedra posted:Reversal of fortune! You are now a Titans fan!
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Oct 6, 2015 03:55
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look at the sad chumps in this thread who aren't going to ride their lovely dumpster rear end legacy kid ruined once-proud rust belt poo poo factory teams into an early grave while never seeing a franchise loving quarterback in their lives, you cowards, you punks, burn the whole loving thing
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Oct 6, 2015 04:08
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R.D. Mangles posted:look at the sad chumps in this thread who aren't going to ride their lovely dumpster rear end legacy kid ruined once-proud rust belt poo poo factory teams into an early grave while never seeing a franchise loving quarterback in their lives, you cowards, you punks, burn the whole loving thing Agreed. Welcome Lions Fans!!!
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Oct 6, 2015 04:53
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Why wasn't this thread around for me last year? I kinda like the Titans now! For real, though, I'm just waiting for a team to move to LA so I can do my typical, "Go LA Team," thing besides being a Titans fan.
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Oct 6, 2015 04:59
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Probably Magic posted:Why wasn't this thread around for me last year? I kinda like the Titans now! They won't bring you the joy you are seeking
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Oct 6, 2015 05:14
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Become a Titans fan because our mascot is better than yours. Jags fans need not apply.
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Oct 6, 2015 05:30
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Team: Eagles Why I'm Sad: Chip Kelly's wild ride made me throw up. Likes: 1. Great, Scrambly QBs 2. Pass Rushes 3. Competent Coaching Dislikes: 1. The AFC West (with the exception of the Broncos) 2. Jed York 3. Weak offenses
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Oct 6, 2015 05:54
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Forceholy posted:Team: Eagles I sentence you to be a Browns fan because of this.
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Oct 6, 2015 05:57
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Forceholy posted:Team: Eagles With two being tenuous sounds like a job for the Packers.
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Oct 6, 2015 07:16
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Top Hats Monthly posted:With two being tenuous sounds like a job for the Packers. I can dig it. I like A.A.ron and Matthews.
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Oct 6, 2015 07:33
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MonsterWalk posted:Agreed. I think it is pretty telling that no Lions fans showed up to Foster-A-Fan. We have a pretty stoic acceptance of the whole early grave never going to watch a good football team thing going.
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Oct 6, 2015 16:06
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seiferguy posted:You should be a fan of the Seattle Seahawks. Our defense makes big plays especially with Kam back. We also hate the Patriots, our offense features Lynch, Wilson and Graham. And Russell Wilson is anything but cement footed. Hey, I have family out there - I remember the pre-NFC days. You were scrappy then. What the hell, I'll give it a try.
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Oct 6, 2015 17:28
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Big Ol Marsh Pussy posted:The Bengals bandwagon is closed. No one else is allowed to root for them That's fine, between the Rockets and Oilers and probably the Astros tonight I've seen more than enough one and done in the playoffs for a lifetime Intruder fucked around with this message at 18:09 on Oct 6, 2015 |
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Oct 6, 2015 17:44
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gtkor posted:I think it is pretty telling that no Lions fans showed up to Foster-A-Fan. We have a pretty stoic acceptance of the whole early grave never going to watch a good football team thing going. It's like how hypothermia suffers, in their last moments, start shedding clothes. Except being a Lions fan is those last few moments, spanning a lifetime.
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Oct 6, 2015 18:01
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ArgaWarga posted:I can't get around my Bears brainwashing, but I'd take an AFC team You should really join the Broncos bandwagon, my friend. We have good, pocket crushing defense, good coaching, and a winning attitude. Von Miller's sack dances are anything but lovely, and though our offense is kinda meh, we are about as distant from the Packers as you can get.
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Oct 6, 2015 21:18
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gtkor posted:I think it is pretty telling that no Lions fans showed up to Foster-A-Fan. We have a pretty stoic acceptance of the whole early grave never going to watch a good football team thing going. At least for me, that's because any NFL team I get close to turns to poo poo, then becomes un-poo poo when I distance myself from them, even geographically! --Lions have been mediocre to bad since I can remember (early 90s), I move out of state in 2010 and they post their second-best season in a decade, then go to the playoffs the year after. They are bad again now but 2010-present is their best stretch of time that I can remember. --Moved outside of Indianapolis in 2010, Peyton falls apart and Suck For Luck happens. Move out in 2013 once Luck overcomes rookie jitters. --Moved outside of Chicago in mid 2013, the Mark Trestmann show happens. Move out in mid 2015 right after John Fox is hired and the draft, sowing the seeds for their current season. --Move to Philly in mid 2015, Chip Kelly's Wild Ride. I guess this is where I mention that my wife is looking at jobs in Boston for 2016/2017, and if she gets an offer we will most likely move there. Anyone have any biotech or IP law connections up there? 
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Oct 6, 2015 23:05
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MonsterWalk posted:Team: So to me this says "I want to root for the Bengals but I'm too proud to outright say it." Edit: It's threads like this that make me realize what a homer I am. I present to you: EPovision some schmuck posted:Team: Eifert Posting fucked around with this message at 23:35 on Oct 6, 2015 |
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Oct 6, 2015 23:21
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C-Euro posted:At least for me, that's because any NFL team I get close to turns to poo poo, then becomes un-poo poo when I distance myself from them, even geographically! Don't ever move to Wisconsin.
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Oct 7, 2015 10:44
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C-Euro posted:
God willing
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Oct 7, 2015 13:24
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Team: Tennessee Titans Why I'm Sad: Allowing for the contraction of the AFC South for the good of the world. Likes: 1. Funslinging 2. Pretty, bright flamboyant colored jerseys 3. Los Angeles, though not necessarily other teams in California. In fact, not at all. 4. Underdogs Dislikes: 1. Dallas Cowboys 2. poo poo quarterbacking 3. Establishing the run in a really lovely way
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Oct 9, 2015 05:26
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Probably Magic posted:Team: Tennessee Titans You get the Saskatchewan Roughriders
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Oct 9, 2015 05:45
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FuzzySkinner posted:Team: Cleveland Browns aight my man. The Browns and Bills are my AFC faves, so let me get you in on this Packer thing in return. 1. History? To paraphrase Belloq, other teams are passing through NFL history. The Packers are NFL history. We're coming up on the 100-year mark, and we've had a drat good run of it. NFL Championships in the ancient era, Super Bowl victories in the pre-merger and a couple in the modern era. 2. While the Packer offense is pass-oriented, I think it's selling short how balanced it is. It's more pass-effective than pass-oriented. The only Achilles' heel we have is injuries to our offensive line - this year it's the tackles. But I'll get into that below. 3. Everybody looks good in forest green. Going along with the history thing, you can get an old-timey dude's jersey, like Bart Starr, or Nitschke and no one will think twice about it. Even a discount Favre jersey will be acceptable after Thanksgiving. But you can find a metric rear end-ton of Packers merchandise for anything, anywhere. Re: Dislikes - We did beat the Steelers in the last Super Bowl we were in. You ever been in a room with a yinzer watching his heart slowly being wrenched from his body? I have. It was awesome. Other than the Pats, we're probably the only other team in the NFL immune to Steeler Bullshit. One time we squeaked into the playoffs because a Steeler WR dropped one of the world's easiest touchdowns at the end of the game against us. Like, rolled right out of his lap. Also, we share a hatred of John Elway. The stockholder thing is fun. Ours is on my wife's desk at work, good conversation piece. We don't have to put up with a retarded owner who threatens to move the team every few years if he doesn't get a new stadium. Instead, we have an elected president, who is doing a drat fine job, and also Ted Thompson, who has an amazing eye for talent and putting together a competitive team every year. Other reasons why: We're on TV a lot, because of the fan base. We're not judgmental about where you're from if you're a Packer fan. poo poo, we'd bandwagon ourselves if we could. We are just that drat happy about our team. We don't make stupid free-agency moves, nearly every player on the roster was drafted by GB. And the ones we did sign via FA have been amazing. Woodson, Peppers, and going back in history a bit, Reggie White, the best racist DE of all time with a heart of gold and fairly high cholesterol. Our divisional rivals make things incredibly easy for us year after year, occasionally being good but shooting themselves in the foot eventually. The Bears just dismantled their team, and probably won't be competitive for another 2-3 years. And you might think: "Doesn't that make it not as exciting, when you stomp them instead of having a close game?" No. It's euphoric. So How Do I Cheer For The Packers? With carefully tempered stoicism. We know deep down that if we allow ourselves to gloat at any point during a game, even up 20+ points, that Hubris, the anti-Packer, will smite the gently caress out of us and cause us to lose in a heartbreaking fashion. So until the clock hits 0:00, we are nervous. Afterwards, if we win, we party and get shitfaced. If we lose, we party and get shitfaced, just slightly more glumly, but with a knowing feeling that next week brings hope. Unless Rodgers goes down, then it's chaos. What Should I Be Saying To Blend In? Packers fans generally know their poo poo when it comes to football. Being a knowledgeable fan is an important thing. So while everyone knows who Aaron Rodgers is and all that, you have to go a little deeper. Here's a primer on some Must Know deeper knowledge stuff: 1. Our defensive coordinator is Dom Capers. He is old, has been with the team for awhile now, and caused us to switch from the 4-3 to the 3-4. The 3-4 defense requires good LBs, which we really haven't had success with outside of Clay Matthews, though this year is looking way up in that respect despite some early injuries. Depending on which Packers fan you ask, Capers is either a genius or an insane idiot. But you have to choose one or the other and stick with it. Can't be neutral on this one. 2. The o-line. The Packers' offensive line is sort of subpar, but is picked up by the offensive play calling and skillset of our QB/RB. Left to right, you have Bakhtiari, Sitton, Linsley, Lang, and Bulaga(Barclay when Bulaga's injured, which is half of any season). Bakhtiari was a 4th round draft pick last year, thrown into the fire, and he still really hasn't shined. He gets a ton of holding calls, though he will occasionally put up a gem of a game against a good DE for some reason. Sitton and Lang are Pro Bowl guards, mostly because they don't screw up much. They don't get penalties. This is a big thing on the Packers o-line. Linsley, at center, was a lucky pickup in the draft who we also threw in last year as a rookie, but has played much better than Bakhtiari. Bulaga is good when healthy, though never lived up to the LT billing he received when we drafted him, and Barclay is continually overwhelmed as his replacement. The reason Eddie Lacy has had success where other RBs fail in our offense is because he can bust through that first tackle attempt 3 yards in the backfield where some DT inevitably ends up. There is a strong/weak anthropic priniciple debate over Aaron Rodgers' throwing style: Is it lightning quick because he realized he had to get the ball out before he got crushed by the three DLs that bust through our line in 2.1 seconds? Or is it that Aaron Rodgers is the only QB capable of remaining healthy behind the GB offensive line because of his lightning quick release, and thus we still see him play? We may never know. What we do know is that at some point during a game you will say "Goddammit Bahktiari." 3. The front seven on defense. It's a rotation of some very good players, and all of them will do something great at some point during the season. It's been a long, slow build to get to this point, full of a lot of 1st and 2nd rounders, but we finally have a defense that can run the scheme. Raji, Matthews and Peppers get most of the press, but Mike Daniels and Mike Neal are the big playmakers up front. What about that Favre thing? We're pretty much over it. Had Rodgers sucked, or Favre won the Super Bowl with Minnesota, it would have been a major issue for decades. But that didn't happen, so yay. What You Get To Watch 1. Aaron Rodgers playing some unfairly mistake-free ball with jaw-dropping throws. Dude makes any receiver look good, and any defense look bad. 2. Eddie Lacy truckin' fools. He also does a spin move, it's like watching elephant ballet, majestic but out of place, yet you feel richer for having seen it. 3. Clay Matthews running full tilt every play. The number of guys he runs down from behind is amazing, not to mention the sacks. 4. An army of midget cornerbacks that play the ball exceedingly well. 5. Ha Ha Clinton-Dix. A good football name. A good football player. 6. Mason Crosby. He's like Matt Damon's ugly little brother, but he will at some point nail a 70+ yard field goal because his leg is amazing. He had one horrific year in 2012 or so, but has been great every other year. We are all very glad we didn't cut him then. 7. Mike "Pigfucker" McCarthy. Supposedly called a 49er goon a pigfucker back around 2005 or so, which makes him a-ok in my book. Used to call the plays, now delegated that task to our OC. So now he looks pensive on the sideline and throws out a challenge flag at inopportune moments. But the team's winning, so he's doing something right, even if it's doing nothing. 8. John Kuhn. The last slow old white FB. We get excited whenever he touches the ball, and yell out KUUUUHHHHNN because that's what you do. 9. Packers fans. We're everywhere, and we'll often take over other team's stadiums during away games. Easily identifiable by copious amounts of Packer fan gear. Will bring over beer if you ask them. Here are some unused shaky-tars if you want an early jump on your fandom:    You'll also want to find some awkward photos of AJ Hawk or Jarrett Bush to have handy to assign to lovely Packers posters, as we police our own. Abugadu fucked around with this message at 06:41 on Oct 9, 2015 |
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Oct 9, 2015 06:38
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quote:What Should I Be Saying To Blend In? Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
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Oct 9, 2015 17:46
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that packer post is the most packer thing in the history of packer
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Oct 10, 2015 04:23
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Metapod posted:You get the Saskatchewan Roughriders There were like 10 people in Roughriders jerseys at the SF-ARI game and it was real odd Welcome fostered fans to the cardinals whagon!
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Oct 10, 2015 04:59
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packer noun pack·er \ˈpa-kər\ 1 : one that packs: as a : one engaged in processing food (as meat) and distributing it to retailers b : an automotive vehicle with a closed body and a compressing device (as for compacting rubbish) in the rear 2 : porter 1 3 : one that conveys goods by means of a pack
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Oct 10, 2015 05:00
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Metapod posted:You get the Saskatchewan Roughriders Yes...........YES!!!!!!!
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Oct 10, 2015 05:36
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Carson Palmer is to funslinger as Greg Hardy is to human rights activist.
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Oct 10, 2015 05:37
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R.D. Mangles posted:that packer post is the most packer thing in the history of packer And it's great 
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Oct 10, 2015 17:24
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Intruder posted:Team: The Houston Texans You could be a real Patriots fan. Embrace the darkness.
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Oct 11, 2015 00:31
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Just rename the thread, "I hate my team what already good team should I cheer for, or what team what might be good but won't be and I'll be back here in a year thread." The obvious answers are Pats / Packers and then everyone else (Bengals?) Everything else is just hoping and praying and sorrow.
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Oct 11, 2015 01:28
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Intruder posted:Team: The Houston Texans I'm amending this from "Loudmouth coaches" to "Coaches who suck but had their reputation built on lucking into a generational QB" because that's what I hate about BOB  Which also eliminates me from Titans and maybe Patriots 
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Oct 11, 2015 19:43
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I'm taking the zona bandwagon as my 2nd team because only they understand the pain of whiz
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Oct 11, 2015 21:22
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